Writing Life: Musings from Captain Monkeypants

Taking a Break...

2012-01-08T07:28:00.000-08:00

After much consideration and way too much thinking, I've decided to take a break from writing this blog. It's been a lot of fun and I greatly appreciate all who read regularly but for now, I want to focus on other things. I've always said that when something stops being fun and becomes an obligation and, unfortunately, for now, that's the case with this blog.

This is not to say I won't be back. It's not to say I won't have an urgent need to inflict my babblings on the world again sometime soon but, for now, I'm going to keep my writing focused on my novels.

If and when I come back, I promise to let you know. In the meantime, thank you all so much for coming to my site, for reading, commenting and letting me know you enjoy what I have to say.

Signing off for now....

Christmas Vacation...Hurrah!

2011-12-22T18:21:00.000-08:00

As of tomorrow, I’m officially on vacation. I’m quite excited about that. It’s nice to have time away from the office.

This week leading up to my vacation hasn’t been quite as festive as I’d have liked due to the impairment of my tastebuds and ability to smell the gingerbread/pepperminty scents of the season. However, I’m recovering my senses slowly and defeating this pesky cold.

On the plus side, I still have been able to get all my festive activities completed. I did finally build the gingerbread house, believe it or not. It actually wasn’t nearly as hard as I remember though actually a lot messier. It turns out that it’s all to do with the consistency of the icing. All these years, I’ve been making it too runny. You’d have think I’d have figured it out before this but, finally, I realized if I make the icing very thick, it sticks better and dries faster. Granted, this epiphany occurred after almost drowning in a cloud of powdered sugar. Note to readers: If you’re going to use a bowl that’s too small for all of the powdered sugar, don’t accidentally put the hand mixer on high when you first start mixing the sugar with the water. This induces a rather large cloud that is hazardous to ones breathing apparatus.

Once I got my house standing, it was a piece of cake to decorate it (pun intended). My only disappointment was that the kit only had three types of candy to decorate the house and the picture on the box showed a lot more. I tried to get creative but at some point, I had to concede, when you stick candy on a prefabricated gingerbread house, it still sort of looks like you stuck candy on the gingerbread house. In my mind, I always envision one of those beautiful, immaculate Hansel and Gretel type houses with the perfectly placed icicles, candy cane pathways and everything else you see in catalogues and magazines. In reality, it’s a slightly splotchy, drippy gingerbread house with gumdrops stuck on it. I did manage to pipe a design on the roof but it dripped a little and instead of having a perfectly symmetrical artistically swirled roof that matched on both sides, I had a bit of a Jackson Pollock thing going on.

Nevertheless, the gingerbread house stands. I was triumphant. Next year, I shall try not to suffer from Gingerbread House Amnesia and will not invest in kit. We’ll see if I remember that when I’m feeling the need to dive into Christmas.

I also got all my gifts wrapped. I managed to bake cookies although next year, I’m using a cookie press. I wanted to make these German cookies that my grandmother used to make. They’re hazelnut cookies that are piped onto baking sheets and baked. I managed to get the recipe right but the piping was not quite so successful. The dough was rather stiff and my disposable decorating bags didn’t hold up very well. I managed to get them done but I used up quite a few decorating bags as well as having to resort to cutting the corner off a Ziploc bag and using that. Next year, I think it’ll be worth using a cookie press instead.

Tomorrow, I head to my parents for a while where I’ll spend Christmas and New Years. I’m hoping it all goes smoothly. My dad has a new puppy who is rather adorable. Unfortunately, my own pups aren’t very fond of her. Sookie, especially, does not like the new puppy to come near me. I didn’t realize quite how possessive of me she was until last weekend when she got rather upset every time the new pup came near me. I’m clearly HER person. I’m hoping that since the puppy won’t be quite so new and unfamiliar that my girls will be a little more accepting this weekend. Unfortunately, you can’t lecture dogs on the spirit of Christmas because they just look up at you like you’re demented. Yes, I have tried and yes, I have firsthand knowledge of that look.

We’ll see how it all goes. Regardless, I’m ready to submit fully to the season. Since this will be the last blog until after Christmas, I’d like to wish every one of you a safe and happy Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

Colds Stink!

2011-12-20T14:44:00.000-08:00

I have a cold.

I hate having a cold. I generally only get one cold a year. Usually it's around Thanksgiving. This year, I triumphantly passed Thanksgiving in full healthy.

Then, about a week ago, I started getting that scratchy feeling in your throat that you know is the precursor to a cold. I started eating more oranges. I started regularly popping my gummi vitamins that have echinacea and zinc in them. I know these ingredients have not been proven to fight colds but psychologically, they work for me and that's good enough.

It seemed to be working. I got to take my mum out for her gourmet birthday meal and had the luxury of having my taste buds unhindered by a cold and I enjoyed it.

And then, the next day, I woke up with a golf-ball in my throat and a stuffy nose. It was downhill from there.

The thing with colds is that it's hard to argue that you're sick because, well, it's just a cold. Even when it's a lousy cold, it's still just a cold. Just because your taste buds are numb, your nose won't stop running and you develop a cough that won't stop annoying you, you still only have a cold.

Still, colds are horrible things. I hate them. I especially hate this one because it arrived during my very favourite week of the year and has made my Christmas fesivities a little damped. Instead of drinking mulled mead or mulled wine, I'm drinking...tea. Lots of tea. I'm eating soup instead of cheese and crackers and I'm generally not feeling too much like decking the halls.

It doesn't help that I was banished from my office yesterday. One croak from me and I was soon treated like Typhoid Mary. I ended up being sent home to work in fear that I'd infect everyone else. One of my coworkers is off to Mexico for Christmas with her family and she most certainly doesn't want a cold to take with her.

Thus, I was banished today as well. It hasn't been so bad. It's rather nice to work from home, honestly. It's just a little, well, hard to work. It's nice to have the dogs to keep me company though. Rory, in particular, seems rather concerned regarding my coughing fits and stares at me worriedly until I'm done. Then she comes and presses up against me which is her way of wanting me to cuddle her. It's very sweet. It's also a bit of a treat to work with the dogs on my lap even if it is a little hard to work.

On the plus side, it was nice to take it easy today. I know I'll be feeling better tomorrow which means I will be back in the office. Even if my coworkers don't like it, they'll have to deal with it. I'm out on Friday for vacation so I figure I should at least show my face in the office a little this week.

It just stinks having a cold. That's all I have to say. I'm hoping that all my tea with honey drinking and my vitamin C shovelling may make this nasty virus go away and that I'll feel a little more Christmas cheer tomorrow especially as I want to do some baking and baking while having a cold is not as much fun as when...you don't have a cold.

As I always think, you can let the cold win or you can beat the cold. I've let the cold have two days of making me miserable. I'm taking control tomorrow. It's been rather nice working in the comfort of my home but it's time to get back to reality.

At least for two more days. Besides, I have mead to drink!

Happy Wednesday!

The Thrill of the Wait

2011-12-18T08:11:00.000-08:00

I love this time of year. In previous blogs, I've mentioned how I love Christmas Eve far more than Christmas Day because I love the anticipation. I've always been like that. I think I enjoy the excitement and build up of many things in life far more than I enjoy the actual event.

I think it's the thrill of what might be rather than what something actually is that I like. In many cases, the actual event is everything I hoped, sometimes even more but still, the thrill of the waiting and the hope and anticipation is still something I appreciate.

That's why I love this time of year. I'm fully allowed to indulge in everything Christmas-y because Christmas is close. There's exactly a week until Christmas day and this whole next week gets to be a full on Christmas celebration. It's the countdown until the actual event and it's the best time to buy last minute gifts, bake, wrap, watch holiday movies and, best of all, eat.

I usually spend Christmas with my parents. This year will be no exception. I'll spend the 23rd through January 2nd with them. However, before I leave, I get to do lots of Christmasy things at home. I do need to build that darn gingerbread house but I also want to bake, wrap and watch Christmas movies. It's just too bad that I have to work because I have rather a lot of stuff I could be doing instead of working. However, since working pays the bills and funds my Christmas activities, it's a bit of a catch-22.

Still, I can enjoy the anticipation of Christmas and a vacation in the meantime. The week before Christmas is usually fun at work because no one really wants to be in the office. Some of the staff will already be out and those that are left tend to be a little less dedicated. There's usually treats to be had. There's fun conversation and, best of all, everyone finds a reason to slide out a little early which ends up being fine because most offices are the same way which means no one gets any work done after 4 p.m.

So even though we have to work, it's not so bad. It's nice to go home, have a nice evening and know that there are only a couple of days left before a much-needed vacation. It makes it easier. Also, the anticipation of a vacation is pretty much the same as the anticipation of Christmas: just as much fun because there's a reward at the end of it.

It's worth waiting for like so many things. I finally got my snow this weekend. Granted, I had to visit my parents to get it but since it was a great visit, I can't complain. I took my mum out to Joseph Decuis- a fabulous restaurant in the unlikely location of Roanoke, Indiana. It was expensive as good restaurants are but since every bite was worth it, I certainly didn't mind the check at the end. It's the type of place you want to do well so it survives and continues to maintain its excellence but also the type of place you don't want to do SO well that it because too trendy and gets so busy it becomes difficult to get a reservation if that makes any sense.

The fantastic meal was topped off by a lovely snowfall as we were driving home. I'd say that was pretty much the perfect topping to a wonderful evening. Granted, mum doesn't agree but, well, she enjoyed her meal so she wasn't as unhappy about it as she might have been.

Still, now the snow has melted. There's the possibility we might have a white Christmas. I'm going to hope, wear my snowflake necklace and keep my fingers crossed. Even if it doesn't snow, the hope and anticipation that it might is still quite fun.

I'll just be a little disappointed if it doesn't!

Happy Monday!

Where Are You, Snow?

2011-12-15T13:04:00.000-08:00

I’m very disappointed that we haven’t really had any snow this year. We’ve had a mere flurry or two that lasted less than an hour. It’s been so warm that even if it has flurried, it’s gone as soon as it lands.

I know there are readers of my blog who don’t share my disappointment- yes, mother, I am talking to you- but I can’t help but be a little sad that the world around me has yet to be covered with a soft white carpet and I can have my annual “YAY, it’s snowing” mug of peppermint hot chocolate.

The thing is, it hasn’t really even been that cold yet. We’ve had a few cold days but mostly, it’s been rather mild. Yesterday, for example, it was 63 degrees.

I like 63 degrees in the autumn. I like it in the spring. It’s quite nice even in the summer when it gives you a break from the hot summer days.

It’s just that, well, there are ten days until Christmas and it’s just too…warm!

One of the novelties I always found about California when I lived there is that I’d go Christmas shopping in Santa Monica and it would be 68 degrees, warm and sunny about a week before Christmas. I used to smugly think of my family and friends back in the Midwest who were usually in the middle of a frigid spell and bask in the novelty of the warm weather. Of course, I wouldn’t have been so smug if I hadn’t known that I’d be flying back to the Midwest in a few days and I’d get to experience the cold weather.

I was spoiled, you see. I got to come home for the holidays and enjoy a taste of winter but go back to a place where it rarely gets below 45 degrees.

Yet I missed my snow. I missed the days when it was too cold to do anything but wrap up in a blanket, make a mug of tea and sit on the sofa watching movies, reading a book and enjoying the fact that winter gave me an excuse to be lazy.

I won’t wax poetical on why I love snow. All you have to do is search my blogs for the mention of “snow” and you’ll see that I’ve already waxed poetical on the stuff. I’m not just a fickle fan of snow- liking it to fall at Christmas because it’s tradition and then wanting it to go away. I’m a real fan of snow. I like it when it snows and I like it when it sticks around. The only time I don’t like it if it’s worn out its welcome in April and is stepping on the toes of spring or when it’s really messing with my life and being rude which usually means the roads are terrible but not terrible enough for me to be able to stay home, my icescraper doesn’t work or it’s not really snow- it’s ice which is a total different thing.

No, I’d like to see a little gentle snowfall now. It’s time. I’m a traditionalist. I’d like a white Christmas. Also, it feels rather wrong to go outside and have it be warm and balmy when you’re in Ohio in December, only ten days away from Christmas.

I’ve even tried wearing my snowflake necklace. It is actually working its magic but it seems to be a little broken because the magic is working for my parents, two and a half hours north, not for me. Each time I’ve worn it, they’ve seemed to have an unexpected snowfall. The first time I wore it, they were supposed to have a warm day with a little rain. They ended up having a cold day and got four inches of snow.

I’m annoyed. I like my snowflake necklace a lot but I’d like it to bring ME snow! Perhaps this is wrong but, well, I like my snow, as I’ve mentioned quite a few times already.

Still, I suppose I should just do the right thing and appreciate this warm spell. In two months, I’ll probably be dreaming of warm days where I don’t have to wear five layers of clothes, sleep under a heavy comforter and have two dogs with freezing noses fighting to warm them on any exposed part of my body they can find.

It’s just…hard. I mean, I’m listening to Christmas music in my car when I drive and it just doesn’t feel the same knowing that it’s warm outside.

Still, this time of year, I shouldn’t be selfish. Not everyone loves snow or even likes it and so they’re probably getting an early Christmas wish.

But I’m still going to wear my snowflake necklace anyway.

Happy Friday!

Unfestive Dogs and Gingerbread House Amnesia

2011-12-13T17:26:00.000-08:00

My dogs don’t seem to be quite as fond of Christmas as I am.

It started with the tree. I think my dogs wondered why their ‘mother’ was putting up a fake tree in the house and hanging things on it. They might have preferred a real tree but really, unless it had a squirrel in it, they probably wouldn’t like that either.

They didn’t like the tree going up it an activity that took up rather a lot of time in the evening which meant I wasn’t sitting on the sofa where they could cuddle up next to me. Also, the tree was DIFFERENT and, well, my dogs don’t like DIFFERENT. My dogs like their routine. This is why whenever I get home from work, it is time for a walk regardless of whether it’s bucketing down with rain or not. This is also why when they don’t get said walk due to the torrential rain, they sulk.

My dogs don’t like it when I bake. They mope if I’m in the kitchen because, again, I’m not paying any attention to them. My sense is that they seem to feel that while I am home, it is their canine right to have my full attention. When they don’t get it, they are not happy pups.

I’ve been baking quite a lot lately. Well, I’ve been in the kitchen a lot anyway, not necessarily just baking. The only time that the pups don’t seem to mind when I’m cooking is when it involves cheese. My girls love their cheese. I might have mentioned this. Rory, in particular, is rather partial to the more expensive types of cheese like parmigiano reggiano and gruyere. I know, I know…I shouldn’t give them cheese but…I do anyway. Just not that much.

They love cheese so much that they can actually tell when I’m getting my grater out of the cupboard. This may sound like I’m exaggerating but whenever I reach up to pull out the box grater, there are suddenly two pleading little dachshunds staring up at me whereas moments before, they were in the other room.

So, even though they don’t like it when I’m in the kitchen a lot, they don’t mind when it involves cheese.

However, they also don’t like it when I write Christmas cards. This is also an activity that means I’m not sitting on the couch with them. They don’t like it when I wrap gifts either. Not only am I still not cuddling with them but, also, I’m on the floor where they like to play and there’s a mess of which they don’t approve.

I have several other Christmas activities planned over the next week or two. One involves making a gingerbread house. I bought a kit because when it first becomes permissible to start diving into Christmas without seeming too premature, gingerbread houses seem like a lovely seasonal thing. I mean, gingerbread houses are a little symbol of Christmas festivity, are they not? I love gingerbread. I love houses. The combination seems pretty nifty when it comes in a neato kit with a carrying handle and you have a 50% off coupon.

The problem is that, well, they’re way better in theory than reality. Well, perhaps I should say, they’re way better in the picture on the box and in the images in your head than what generally manifests when you actually try to build one. I know that some of my readers are a lot…craftier than I am and thus may not be able to relate to the trials and tribulations of my former attempts to build gingerbread houses. However, I’ve built a few in the past. I always use kits because frankly I’m too lazy to bake them myself.

These kits usually involve making icing that theoretically should glue the house together. You have to get the icing exactly right otherwise it doesn’t work. And, actually, even if you get it right, it still doesn’t really work. I remember the time I assisted my friend’s son with his gingerbread house. My friend was also building a gingerbread construction with her other son- this was a tree that, essentially, was just a bunch of cookies stacked on top of one another. Our house, on the other hand, proved to be so problematic and the icing so un-gluelike that we literally resorted to duct tape to hold the blasted thing together while it dried. I’m not proud of this. Also, the duct tape did not work. We eventually got some semblance of a house that was standing and we covered the worst parts with lots of candy to hide the problems.

I should have learned from that experience and yet, two years later, I tried another gingerbread construction. This was a little more successful in that I eventually got the house to hold together. However, it did involve multiple dives across the counter to catch the walls as they fell and having to re-build it. Nevertheless, I did end up with a somewhat decent looking house. It just involved rather a lot of colourful adjectives every time I had to save it from collapsing.

I should have learned from THAT experience. Unfortunately, I think I simply suffer from Gingerbread House Amnesia. This is a condition that kicks in at the start of every Christmas season and manifests itself whenever I’m standing in front of a display of gingerbread houses. The amnesia causes me to say “Aw, fun!” instead of “HELL, NO!” and I end up buying a kit.

Then the kit sits in my house. One night, I will think, “time to make the house”. I’ll open the box and pull out that evil bag of icing that will be the glue. Then I’ll put the icing back in the box and put the kit away. This usually happens at least once.

I do eventually make the gingerbread house. I just haven’t done so when I’ve had the dogs. I’m hoping this effort will be slightly smoother than my last ones merely because I get a little mean and crotchety when things don’t go according to plan and I tend to yell a bit. The poor dogs have witnessed this many a time whether it involves my building IKEA furniture, laying down floor tiles, trying to decorate my clock for Christmas with a string of festive berries and knocking the clock off the wall or trying to get a picture on my wall to stay straight. I hate that I do get mean and that I shout but it’s a coping mechanism. It’s rather akin to, say, dropping a hammer on your foot and saying the f-word rather loudly. You can’t really stop it- it’s a reflex reaction. I have dropped a hammer on my foot a couple of times, in case you were wondering.

Anyway, I am eventually going to build this gingerbread house. I just don’t think it will be tonight. Tonight I will wrap more gifts which will not make my dogs happy but it might be a little safer for them than the gingerbread house.

I think they actually like it better when I watch Christmas movies because then, at least, I’m doing what they want which is staying still long enough for them to bury their cold noses in my lap and get comfortable.

It’s even better when I have cheese.

Happy Wednesday and thanks for reading!(And Happy Birthday to my lovely mum and best friend, Saz!)

Gingerbread Cake with Caramel Syrup and Vanilla Whipped Cream

2011-12-11T16:19:00.000-08:00

For the Cake:

Ingredients

• 8 tablespoons of butter
• 1/2 cup of sugar
• 1 cup of Lyle's golden syrup***
• 2 eggs
• 2 1/2 cups of flour
• 1/4 teaspoon of salt
• 1 1/2 teaspoons of baking soda
• 1 1/4 teaspoons of ground ginger
• 1 teaspoon of cinnamon
• 1 cup of water

(***This is a British thing- if you're in the States and don't have access to golden syrup, you can use maple syrup of agave syrup though, on occasion, you can find golden syrup at TJ Maxx!)

Instructions:Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

1. Cream butter and sugar in a bowl until light and fluffy.
2. Warm the syrup slightly in the microwave until runny- about 25 seconds should do it.
3. Beat syrup into the creamed butter/sugar.
4. Add eggs to mixture and beat well.
5. Sift flour, baking soda, salt, ginger and cinnamon together and stir into the cream mixture.
6. Add the water slowly and stir until smooth.
7. Pour batter into a well-greased loaf pan and bake for 45-60 minutes- whenever a skewer comes out clean.
8. Leave to cool in tin and turn onto a cooling rack when cooled. It's best reheated just a tad when you serve with the caramel sauce and whipped cream.

Easy Caramel Sauce (Warning- this isn't healthy in any way but SO tasty!)

Ingredients

• 1 cup of sugar
• 6 tablespoons of butter
• 1/2 cup of heavy whipping cream

Instructions

1. Before you begin, make sure you have all ingredients measured out and close by. This process is super fast and if you're not ready, it won't work right!
2. Melt sugar in a heavy-bottomed saucepan by heating on moderately high heat and stirring constantly once it starts to melt. As soon as it starts getting soft, this is when you want to start stirring. A wooden spoon works best. Don't stop until the sugar comes to a boil. If you stop stirring, it will burn.
3. As soon as all of the sugar has melted, the sugar should be dark amber. Add all of the butter and stir until melted.
4. As soon as butter melts, immediately remove pan from heat. Once pan has been set down somewhere cool, add the cream to the pan and stir constantly. The mixture will bubble up. Keep stirring.
5. Whisk until sauce is smooth and let cool for a few minutes.
6. Pour sauce into a glass container and let cool to room temperature. It will be hot at this point so be very careful.
8. Sauce stores in the fridge for up to a week and re-liquifies when heated in the microwave for about 35 seconds.

Vanilla Whipped Cream

Ingredients

• 1 cup of heavy whipping cream
• 1-2 teaspoons of pure vanilla extract depending on how vanilla-y you want it.

Instructions

(Note: I have a nice stand mixer which makes this very easy. However, before I had a nice stand mixer, I had a cheap $7.99 hand mixer from Walgreens. This works too. Either way, place whatever bowl in which you're going to whip the cream in the fridge or freezer. I usually try to put it in the fridge for a few hours but if I forget, which is often, I put it in the freezer for less time.)

1. Combine cream and vanilla.
2. Beat in chilled stand mixer bowl or in a chilled normal bowl with a hand-held mixer, slowly increasing speed until you're on high. Beat cream until nice and stiff.
3. Serve.

I like to drizzle some sauce on the cake, top with whipped cream and then drizzle a little more caramel on top but that's up to you.

I did mention this wasn't healthy but, well, it's a great recipe for this time of year and we can all make it our New Years' resolution not to eat like this anymore, right?

Enjoy!

A Very Busy Food Weekend!

2011-12-11T15:59:00.000-08:00

This has been a rather busy weekend. This is why I don't find myself awfully shocked on this Sunday evening that it's gone by already.

This was a very food-based weekend for me. This is not to say that most weekends don't involve food but I entertained twice this weekend and since I've become rather fond of entertaining, I like to make sure I plan the right menu.

My first event was Friday night. It wasn't really an event as much as my friend coming over to dinner and to watch "The Holiday" with me. This has become a tradition for us over the past three years. Usually we watch it at her house and she cooks but this year, we decided to watch it at mine.

Since she was coming to mine, it involved planning dinner. This was not an issue except she's a bit of a picky eater. I like a challenge, however. Most of my 'classic' dinner recipes usually involve quite a lot of vegetables and she's not a huge fan. She does, however, like strong flavours like garlic, onion, etc. Thus, I decided to make my thick and hearty potato leek soup. I use bacon as a base which sounds rather unhealthy but, actually, one serving of the soup still only has 7 grams of fat and 290 calories and considering it's nice and filling, it's pretty good for dinner. I also decided to be festive and for dessert, I made a gingerbread cake with caramel sauce and fresh whipped cream. And yes, I actually did bake this cake from scratch. I made it last year and it was a hit so I figured I'd try it again. It was a hit this year too. My friend seemed quite happy with the food I made and we ended up having a great evening while enjoying a great movie.

My second 'event' was my parents' coming to visit. They like to come down at least once before Christmas to stock up at Jungle Jim's on treats/food for the holidays. Normally, I make them a sit-down meal. This year, I decided to challenge myself while also 'treating' them. Usually, on Christmas night, my mum and I prepare a cold buffet for the family that takes a lot of preparation. The problem with this is that it's hard to enjoy the buffet as much when you've had to prepare it so I decided to make a mini buffet for my parents. This particular buffet included the following:

• Cheese and crackers (Cheeses: Wensleydale, Coach Farms goat cheese, Stilton, Seriously Sharp Cheddar, Gruyere and smoked Gouda)
• Steamed shrimp
• Smoked salmon
• Homemade guacamole and homemade tortilla chips,
• Black Bean soup
• An antipasti tray with prosciutto and salami and assorted pickled treats
• Roasted beet salad
• Crusty bread
• Homemade cheese straws
• Sausage rolls
• Cream cheese and watercress finger sandwiches
• A small vegetable plate
• Roasted ham with a cumin, garlic and thyme glaze

For dessert, I baked another gingerbread cake, whipped some more cream and used the leftover caramel sauce from Friday since it keeps for a while.

It was rather a lot of food but one thing I like about a buffet is that it's fun to have a selection and people love to nibble. While I had a lot of leftovers, there actually weren't nearly as many as you'd expect and I got to send my parents home with half the ham, the sausage rolls and shrimp since I don't actually like shrimp. I also have plenty of food left for the week and a nice cheese selection which not only will last me a while but I can also bring out when I have guests.

All in all, it was a very food-heavy weekend. The buffet prep took a long while but, sadly, I enjoyed every minute of it, even beheading, deveining and peeling all of the shrimp which I've never done before. I'll post my gingerbread cake recipe just because it's a pretty easy thing to make and seems to be quite popular whenever I make it.

Now it's Sunday night, my parents have gone and I'm alone with two sleeping dachshunds. I plan on enjoying the rest of my Sunday evening by relaxing since I don't seem to have much time for that.

Also, I think I might have to eat some leftovers. I have plenty to choose from.

Happy Monday and thanks for reading!

I Baked, I Conquered...I Cheated...

2011-12-08T19:05:00.000-08:00

Lately, I’ve been trying to bake a little more. This is partially due to the fact that the stuff I want to eat isn’t easily accessible in stores near me. However, it’s also because I simply know I’m not particularly good at baking and want to be a more well-rounded cook.

While I lack the patience to ever be a very good baker, I will admit it’s rather fun to bake something, pipe frosting onto it, decorate it and give it to people to eat. This is particularly why I like making cupcakes.

When it comes to cupcakes, I have a confession: I’m a dirty rotten cheater. Sure, I can make the cakes from scratch but, well, I’m a bit lazy. Also, due to the fact that I’m not the most precise baker, my cakes never quite taste right or rise right. So, I use a box of cake mix. When I make the mix, I do often embellish as was the case on Saturday with my peppermint chocolate cupcakes. I added peppermint extract and mini chocolate chips to my devil’s food cake box mix.

Now, I do make the buttercream icing myself. It’s easy and tastes fantastic. Oh, fine, it’s terrible for you because it’s pretty much just butter and sugar but I wager it’s no worse than those cans of frosting that are made primarily from Crisco and corn syrup.

Recently, I’ve had a couple of people ask me for recipes. Thus, I decided to try something new and paste them on my blog. So, I’ve put my whoopee-pie recipe below. The filling is my own recipe based on my buttercream frosting. The Candy Cane Kisses do make it rather rich but if you’ve got a sweet tooth, you probably won’t mind.

They’re super easy and quite fun to make. Also, people think they’re pretty nifty if you take them to a party. When people are fighting over the last one and someone steals it to take home, you know you’ve got a hit on your hands:

Whoopie Pies

CAKES
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup Dutch-process cocoa powder
• 1 1/4 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup well-shaken buttermilk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 stick (1/2 cup) unsalted butter, softened
• 1 cup packed brown sugar
• 1 large egg

CREAM FILLING INGREDIENTS

• 2 egg whites , beaten
• 4 tablespoons milk
• 2 teaspoons vanilla
• 4 cups powdered sugar (10x)
• 1 cup shortening
• 12-14 Hershey Candy Cane Kisses

Instructions for the Cakes
• Whisk together flour, cocoa, baking soda, and salt in a bowl until combined. Stir together buttermilk and vanilla in a small bowl.
• Beat together butter and brown sugar in a large bowl with an electric mixer at medium-high speed until pale and fluffy, about 3 minutes in a standing mixer or 5 minutes with a handheld, then add egg, beating until combined well. Reduce speed to low and alternately mix in flour mixture and buttermilk in batches, beginning and ending with flour, scraping down side of bowl occasionally, and mixing until smooth.
• Spoon 1/4-cup mounds of batter about 2 inches apart onto 2 buttered large baking sheets. Bake in upper and lower thirds of oven, switching position of sheets halfway through baking, until tops are puffed and cakes spring back when touched, 11 to 13 minutes. Transfer with a metal spatula to a rack to cool completely.

Instructions for the Filling

• Mix together egg whites,vanilla, milk and 2 cups of the powdered sugar. Beat in the butter and the remaining sugar. Chop, grind or mince the Candy Cane Kisses until they're in small pieces and add to the sugar/butter mix and stir/blend until smooth.
• When cookies have cooled, spread a dab of cream filling on flat side of cookie and top with another cookie to form a pie. Voila!

Happy Friday!

Muddled Near-Winter Days

2011-12-06T18:34:00.000-08:00

Some days, it just rather hard to be productive. This week at work has already been a bit of a muddle. Yesterday, when I got into the office, I was later than normal because I’d had to drop a candidate off for her first day of work. When I logged in, I discovered that I had no internet access.

Now, even a few years ago, this would have been a pain but not a HUGE problem. Nowadays, however, it’s actually quite a paralyzing thing not to have internet access. In my job, I use both my email and the web almost exclusively to do my job. Oh, sure, I have a phone but in order to call people, I generally need to have access to my email and the web to locate resumes, phone numbers, etc.

It turned out that we had quite a large problem with the internet. My boss, always trying to help people out, had allowed one of clients to come in this week and use our conference room for training. There were five people in there using the internet. Combined with the eight of us in the office, there were 13 users. Our internet firewall only has room for 9 users so as soon as we exceeded that amount, we started having issues.

Since we can’t kick out the trainees, my boss had to come up with another solution. Our IT Guru did something with a new router which finally arrived in our office today. In the meantime, he let the account managers work from home. Since I’m not an account manager, I didn’t get to work from home. I’m not bitter but I was a little disappointed. I suppose my bosses logic made sense: Recruiters need access to the phone and the printer more than the account managers. However, since I have two phones and two printers at home, I would quite easily stayed at home on this dreary, drizzly day, worked in my comfy clothes and had the girls curled up nearby.

Alas, it was not meant to be. Thus, I’ve been in the office all day which is a little like a ghost town since half the staff is working at home. I’m not quite sure how hard they’re actually working since, well, I’ve only actually heard from one of them today but, well, that’s not my business.

Fortunately, even though it was difficult to be productive, I have had a productive day. Lately, it’s been a little too quiet in the office. While I adore the holiday season, it’s not a very popular time for employers to be seeking candidates for jobs or for candidates to be looking. Generally speaking, if it’s their choice, employees generally like to keep working around the holidays rather than quit a job to find a new one.

It hasn’t helped that it’s been dreary outside. Yesterday, it poured with rain to the point where my back garden was nothing but one giant puddle. The poor pups had difficulty finding anywhere to do their business where they weren’t standing in two inches of water. It finally stopped sometime last night but since then, it’s been bleak and grey outside. We’re supposed to have some flurries tonight which would be nice. I’m ready for some real snow now. Not only do I very much want my traditional white Christmas but, also, I just love my snow.

Still, on the plus side, it’s a lot easier to leave the office when it’s already dark outside knowing that I have the glow of my Christmas tree in my living room. The dogs haven’t quite got used to it yet. Sookie casts it a suspicious glare whenever she bumps into it. I’ve hung jingle bells on the bottom row of branches to discourage too much roughhousing underneath the tree. My little dachshunds are just the right height to roll underneath the branches and when they’re playing with one another, they often get a little rough. It’s fun to watch because they’re having fun but it’s a bit alarming to see them tackle one another and bounce off one another into inanimate objects. They never hurt themselves, thankfully. More than anything, they just seem surprised that a table has appeared out of nowhere in the middle of their game.

The problem with the darker evenings is that they don’t get to spend much time outside. We try to walk when the weather cooperates. The girls do go out and play but they just don’t stay out as long as they do in the summer. On one hand, it’s nice not to have to keep checking to make sure they’re not Up to No Good but, on the other, I feel a little bad that they’re not as active and they can’t go exploring outside the way that they like to when the weather is warmer. The ground under my toolshed is probably thankful, there are a couple of holes that are becoming craters thanks to my industrious pups. They haven’t figured out that they really won’t dig under the shed as much as next to it but I think it’s funny that they’re trying.

It’s just a change from a few months ago where I sat outside, glass of pinot grigio in hand, watching the fireflies. The variety is nice and I like my cosy evenings inside where the wine has been replaced by a mug of tea and the fireflies have been replaced with a good book. At the moment, I’m reading The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern which I’m enjoying very much. It’s a dreamy book but it’s compelling and I’m fascinated to see how it ends. Since it’s a two-week Kindle library loan, I have an excuse to read greedily and quickly instead of savouring the book. By nature, I’m a greedy reader. I like to gobble up a book instead of chewing slowly. It’s a bad habit but one that’s been cultivated since childhood when I learned to read and all I wanted to do then was…read.

After a muddled day at work where we did finally get things up and running, it’ll be nice to go home to have a cosy evening indoors. Things should be back to normal tomorrow since our internet is supposedly fixed. We shall see if that actually happens once everyone is back in the office working.

Part of me hopes that it doesn’t work. That’s awful, I know…it’s just that it’s actually kind of fun when things are muddled.

Happy Wednesday!

Christmasy Weekends and another Bridget Jones' Party Experience

2011-12-04T15:16:00.000-08:00

It's another Sunday evening where the weekend has flown by entirely too fast. It's a wet, chilly night out there- the rain has been coming down for a couple of hours and with the glow of my Christmas tree lights, it seems positively cosy in my living room.

I've tried to have a very Christmas-y weekend. I decided earlier in the season that since I adore Christmas so much, I was going to make the most of it and try and be as festive as possible this year. It's hard to avoid jumping right into the Christmas spirit when the stores are festooned with yuletide glory, the radio is full of Christmas music and it seems like it smells like cinnamon everywhere.

I put up one of my Christmas trees on Friday night. Normally, I only have one. However, for the past couple of years, my sad, Walmart Black Friday $20 Bargain Tree has been looking a little forlorn and pathetic even when I've tried to hide the gaps with decorations and garlands. So this year, I splurged and got a new tree. It's very nice with no gaps and it looks somewhat real. I'd actually rather have a real one but since I spend Christmas at my parents' house, it seems a bit of a waste. I contemplated one of those burlap-bulbed trees so I could replant it but even though my little Toyota Corolla can haul far more than you'd imagine, I'm not quite sure even I could figure out a way to get a Christmas tree home in my car.

So, I got a nice artificial one. The only problem was that I couldn't bear to part with my little forlorn tree. It was the first tree of my own that I ever owned. Thus, I decided to bedeck my Tuscan room with my forlorn tree and use the new one in my living room.

Friday, I put my new tree up. I drank mulled wine and watched "Elf." I baked chocolate chip chocolate cupcakes and whoopie pies for a friends' party on Saturday. It was a very festive evening and I enjoyed every minute of it. By the time I was done, my tree looked rather nice, if I do say so myself.

Saturday, I did some Christmas shopping in the morning and then came home, put up my simple outdoor decorations- just a garland and bow around my little lampost and a couple of little pre-lit porch trees. Then I put up my forlorn tree in my Tuscan room. I also frosted the cupcakes I'd made with peppermint buttercream and filled my whoopie pies with candy-cane Hershey Kiss buttercream. Then I headed to my friends birthday party.

The first sign it wasn't going to be a great success was that just as I was lifting my cake carrier that was stuffed with cupcakes off my car seat to transport them into my friends' house, the stupid lid came off. It was my fault- I should have checked to make sure it was still locked and hadn't come loose during the journey. Needless to say, I had quite a few cupcake casulties which was rather too bad because they tasted rather yummy if I do say so myself. Still, the whoopie pies were safe since I'd packed the seperately.

The second sign that it wasn't going to be a terrifically fun party for me was that I quickly realized it was going to be another Bridget Jones Night. It was small gathering in honour of my friends 45th birthday. She was doing something unique- a blind wine tasting in which she would decide the winner, no gifts but, instead, we would bring a toy to donate to Toys for Tots that would have been something our hostess would have liked as a child and a concert by a local university acapella group which my friend had 'won' in a silent charity auction.

My wine was pretty good- I know my friends' tastes which are quite similar to mine so I brought a nice Zinfandel. My toy was Scrabble- my friend loves to read and write and oddly adores English grammar.

The problem was that every single person there aside from me was married. Now, when I lived in L.A., even when I went to similar gatherings, it was ok- the 'marrieds' were independent enough that they circulated seperately from their spouses and it was just a gathering o' people. However, in the Midwest, it's a little different. Here, the spouses come as a pair. When one spouse is separated from the other and forced to talk to the lone singleton at the party, this spouse starts to panic and say things like "I wonder where John is!" Well, this would be ok if it was, say, a large house and there was a possibility of John being more than 25 feet away but in this case, my friends house is not huge and the reality was that John was 15 feet away in the next room talking to Bob whose wife is holding his arm possessively.

I know, that's a little harsh. I'm sure not every gathering in the Midwest is really like that but the few I've been too where I've been the lone singleton have been very much like that. I try very hard to be social but it's rather hard because couples seem to like to talk to other couples and discuss their children, how much they're paying the sitter and who their kids' teachers are.

Needless to say, it was a difficult evening. Fortunately, there was wine and cheese. The wine tasting went well. I came in second. I would have come in first, I suspect but the winning wine was the first one everyone tried and someone said, "Hey, wine #7 is good!" so everyone had to try wine #7 and it went fast. This meant that our hostess couldn't have a second taste of wine #7 to compare it to my wine and it won by default because it was so popular. I tried wine #7, for the record, and I found it to be a bit plummy. Also, wine #7 happened to be brought by the hostess' closest friends who'd been staying there that weekend. Yes, I probably sound bitter but three hours of standing around feeling more and more alone in a room full of smug married people made me feel a little bitter. Also, the hostess' dad asked me where 'my other half' was in reference to a former coworker I'd once showed up to a party with a few years ago. I've been to several of my friends' parties since without this coworker but he clearly thought we were a couple. I shouldn't have been surprised. An unmarried woman in the midwest in her thirties is bound to set off a few suspicions. Still, it was a bit like throwing salt in a wound by this point.

The party itself was lovely. My friend throws a good gathering. The acapella group was amazing though and it was nice to have a break from mingling to listen to some music. I was a little surprised that people were raving over my whoopie-pies which I found cloyingly sweet. They were actually fighting over the last one. Meanwhile, my lovely, hand frosted, crushed peppermint decorated cupcakes sat virtually untouched.

By the time it became safe for me to leave without being rude, I did so. It was a relief to get in my car, crank up the Tran-Siberian orchestra and drive home where I was greeted enthusiastically by my pups. It's nice to show I'm loved even if I am a pathetic singleton who apparently gives of lesbian vibes. Not that there's anything wrong with that it's just that I'm not a lesbian.

As much as I hated that it did so, my party experience made me feel a little down on Sunday. It's one thing to know I'm alone and accept it but it's another to be reminded of how alone I am at times. Still, I decided to fight off my blues by some intensive cleaning and organizing and finishing putting up the final Christmas decorations.

Now, I'm sitting inside, listening to the rain pour down, finishing some laundry and feeling sad that the weekend is already almost over. Tomorrow, it's back to work as normal. However, on the plus side, I now have the glow of the multicoloured lights of my Christmast tree when I come home in addition to my lovely pups who constantly love to show me how much I'm loved.

It's not all bad. I just need to stop going to parties where I'm the only single person. I think they're bad for me.

Happy Monday!

A Rant: Why Charging for Happy Meal Toys is Not Going to Solve a Large Problem

2011-12-01T13:55:00.000-08:00

I don’t usually get political with my blog because I generally like to not offend people or come across as left-leaning, right-leaning or any type of lean at all.

However, today I might make an exception. I know I’m a little behind on the times but I just read an article in which I learned that San Francisco passed legislation recently to ban giving away toys with high-fat, bad-for-you kids meal like Happy Meals in an effort to cut back on childhood obesity.

Now, while I’m not arguing that childhood obesity is a bad thing, I can’t help but think that the money and effort that’s gone into this legislation is a little…misdirected. Sure, I don’t argue that kids who eat McDonalds on a regular day are heavier than other kids. I’m also not arguing that McDonalds isn’t exactly the healthiest food on the planet.

However, the idea that simply giving away a toy with a meal is why kids eat McDonalds in the first place is just…a little silly. Yes, kids are susceptible to things they see on TV and they do like toys. Thus, to have a meal that comes with a free toy is a nice bonus.

Yet the key word is bonus. You can also use the word treat if you prefer. While I know that there are people and kids out there who love the McDonalds toys and go through the drive-thru just to get the one for the week, if you ever go to garage sales, you’ll see that for the most part, these toys basically end up in 10/$1 bins.

Which is ironic because San Francisco McDonald’s have found a way around the new legislation by, yes, charging 10 cents per toy in addition to the cost of the Happy Meal.

Now, my thoughts (and keep in mind these are just MY thoughts) is that perhaps the toy is not really the problem. Everyone knows that McDonalds is fried, fatty food that can taste really good when you’re really hungry. However, I don’t think I’m wrong to say that those of us who know that’s really bad for us regret eating it once we’ve stuffed our faces with those french fries and cheeseburgers and, if we were really hungry, a Big Mac. After all is said and done, it never tasted as good in hindsight to deserve those extra fat calories we consume.

Still, McDonalds serves a purpose to those of us who do have some sense of food-logic. Even though it’s bad for us, it fills a need. I love french fries. They’re one of my ‘cheat’ foods of choice. However, I don’t have them very often because I do try to be a somewhat healthier eater. Also, they taste way better if you haven’t had them for a while and they’re a rare treat. So, McDonalds can satisfy my french-fry craving. It serves that need for me. Also, if you’re in a hurry, are starving and need to eat before your next activity/engagement starts, the drive-thrus are conveniently placed in order to get a combo meal, pay and get out in a few minutes flat. That’s another purpose that McDonalds serves.

I’d like to think that most of us know McDonalds is bad. When we eat it anyway, it’s not necessarily with shame but maybe a wee bit of guilt that we’re consuming a cheesy mess of carbohydrate laden fatty goodness instead of, say, broccoli or a salad.
I don’t have kids but I have nephews and nieces who like Happy Meals. I know that the toys change once a week. If McDonalds has a series of toys that the kids like, they generally want to go back the next week for the next one. Even I’ve fallen for it before when they had the mini beanie babies a few years ago.

Yet, if you’re a parent/aunt with a sense of food-logic, even though you know you shouldn’t indulge the kid with a Happy Meal, if it’s only once a week, it’s not that terrible. Besides, nowadays, you can substitute fries for apple wedges, soda for milk so if you’re concerned about your kid getting, well, chubby then there are ways to treat them to McDonalds without completely compromising nutrition.

The problem is that there are an awful lot of non-logical food people out there. I’ve watched “Super Size Me”. I’ve watched documentaries on why lower-income families tend to have obese children: It’s far cheaper to stuff them full of cheap food that fills them up than go out and buy healthy food. It’s a sad fact of life. I’ve actually been quite poor in my life. When I lived in L.A., I was very, very hard up for money for the first couple of years. If I didn’t have a coupon, it wasn’t on special or couldn’t buy it in the 99 cent store, I didn’t buy it. I used to make sure I had money in my budget for vegetables and fresh produce because, well, I have that food-logic gene. However, I can also see why parents who have to stretch out very little money to feed their kids opt for the giant box of macaroni and cheese on sale for $1 than paying $1.29 a pound for broccoli which doesn’t provide a whole meal but just a side dish.

Also, the irony of it is that many lower-income families tend to have parents who work hours that aren’t conducive to having time to spend cooking low-calorie, nutritious meals out of their limited pantry. This is where McDonalds steps in. You can buy a Happy Meal for about $3. It fills a kid up. It takes five minutes at most to run through the drive through to get it. If you have to go to work but you also have to feed your kid, it’s a quick, easy solution.

It’s just not very healthy.

I’ve seen articles where the older latchkey kids are left money to go get dinner. If there’s a McDonalds in walking distance, guess where they mostly head? By this time, McDonalds has been introduced into their lives as an acceptable meal choice because it’s most likely what they’ve been eating since they were old enough to chew solid food. It’s a comfort food to them because it’s what they know.

And it’s not just McDonalds. I’m only picking on them because they were the subject of the article I read. Many of the other fast food chains offer similar Kid Friendly Meals: Burger King, Wendys, KFC…etc. Kids grow up with the concept of a kids meal that comes with a toy but it doesn’t mean they only want the meal with a toy. I mean, you don’t see kids refusing to eat their Tyson chicken nuggets and Oscar Meyer wieners at home because they don’t get a toy, do you?

Kids are kids. There are some great kids out there who like healthy food. There are also kids with strong, smart parents who feed their kids right and even get their kids to get healthy snacks as a treat and reward. There are kids that do like Brussels sprouts and broccoli with their hotdogs and pizza. Yet, some kids just don’t like that stuff. I don’t know if it’s genetic. I don’t know if it’s psychological. They just simply don’t like green stuff and only like familiar food. My nephew, for example, is a very fussy eater. He wouldn’t eat turkey at Thanksgiving so with a slight shudder, we served him hot dogs with his trimmings because, well, we wanted him to eat and even though my mum and I know hot dogs are terrible for you, I’d rather see him eat something than nothing. Some of these kids become adults who still haven’t changed tastes. My brother in law is in his thirties- he still only likes hot dogs, hamburgers, pizza and chicken nuggets. He doesn’t like salad. He doesn’t like anything green but peas. My old coworker was the same way- she was thirty-three and ate like a five year old boy.

With intervention, I think some of these kids can be helped and taught that not all healthy food tastes bad. Yet, it requires a heck of a lot more than charging 10 cents for a Happy Meal Toy. Perhaps the money and time that was spent passing the legislation to outlaw free toys with greasy kids meals should focus more on the root causes: How can we make kids want to eat healthy food? How can we get parents to see that cheap, quick solutions to feeding kids can be found in other places than fast-food drive thrus? Why does it cost more for a pound of apples than it does for a bag of frozen supermarket-brand french fries? Why are there rarely any coupons for fresh ingredients but tons for processed snacks, canned items and microwave meals?

My point with which I’m almost bludgeoning you is that you can’t try to stop a major problem like obesity by banning a toy with a meal. It’s like sticking your finger in the hole in a boat to stop it sinking or throwing a glass of water on your house when it’s on fire. Sure, it might have a quick effect but in the long term, what’s it really going to do? That house is going to burn and the boat will sink anyway unless someone comes along with a plan to fight the fire or, even better, make the boat harder to sink in the first place.

I’m not a politician and I would never want to be. It’s a hard job. You need to make an impact in a short time so that people feel that you’re worthwhile, that you’ve done something right. In my opinion, the best politicians are the ones that move slower, who dedicate themselves to a cause and fight for it from the ground up. They don’t just come in, slap a band aid on a problem and pat themselves on the back. The world doesn’t work like that- it never has and never will. It’s why I like lobbyists way more than politicians. My good friend Saz, for example, has been working hard on a bill to make button batteries safer due to their deadly nature if swallowed by a child. Now that is a worthy cause. She and her organization, The National Electrical Manufacturer’s Association are working to change something, to make it safer. I salute that. I’d salute San Francisco a lot more if they’d decided to work at helping make kids and parents understand what causes obesity and how to work against it rather than making them pay 10 cents for a toy they can get a few miles away outside city limits for free.

There is a lot more I could rant about or soapbox about but I think this is long enough for one day and I think I’ve made my point. Free toys are only a symbol of what’s causing childhood obesity. You can ban the symbol but the problem remains.

Ok. I’m stepping down off my soapbox now. Really. Besides, I’ve got a sudden craving for McDonalds fries. Ooh, Maybe I’ll see what the toy in the Happy Meal is this week…

Just kidding.

Thanks for reading.

Happy Friday!

Things That Never Cease To Surprise Me

2011-11-29T19:18:00.000-08:00

Things that never cease to surprise me, by Captain Monkeypants:

1.How many cars seem not to come with turn signals these days. I find it quite amazing how often I’m driving and the driver in front of me decides to turn and I feel silly for not being able to telepathically read his/her mind. If I could read their minds, I’d know that they were either about to cut me off by crossing into my lane on the interstate, they were going to cut me off in order to turn left in front of me or they were simply just going to…turn. Perhaps I got lucky when I got my car- it has this nifty device that you use to signal when you’re going to turn. I believe it’s called an indicator. Perhaps car manufacturers should look into putting them into new cars again. They’re quite useful!

2. How there are times when you’re out and about and you simply seem invisible to the people around you. They walk into you as though you’re not there. They pull out of an aisle with their cart, nailing you with it and they walk off without even apologizing. You can be behind someone who’s going through the door and they slam it in your face. It doesn’t happen all the time but when it does, it seems to be a day of it constantly happening. Perhaps we do all have ‘invisible days’ where only the people we’re with know we’re actually there.

3. Oranges. Sometimes you have an orange, clementine, mandarin, etc. and it’s the most succulent, juicy piece of citrusy goodness that you’ve put in your mouth in a long while. Then, a little later, you decide it was so good you’re going to eat another fruit. The orange-fruit of your choice came in the exact same package, possible off the same tree and it turns out to be the driest, most tasteless orange-fruit you’ve had in ages.

4. Pencils. I love to write with pencils. I try to have pencils for every season. I even have my own electric sharpener because no one else in my office shares my fondness for pencils. However, no matter how even I try to sharpen my pencils, they always end up having an extra bit of wood at the end that interferes with being able to write properly. If you pick it off, the pencil tip gets dull. If you re-sharpen it, the graphite breaks and you have to start all over again. I’ve tried those plastic pencils that kids use where they have replaceable tips that are stored inside the pencil but those break easily. I don’t like mechanical pencils either. I like my Christmas pencils. I just wish they’d sharpen better.

5. Drivers who appear not to be able to read. Now, I know there is a literacy problem everywhere. Reading can be quite tricky. However, you’d think that if someone was going to be allowed to pass a driving test, they’d have to be able to read. I mean, how do they take the test otherwise? Yet, when you’re driving, the simplest words seem to elude them. Words like “STOP” and “YIELD”. Even numbers and letters like 55 MPH seem to confuse them.

6.Christmas songs. I’m not talking about the nice, classic carols. I’m talking about the annoying ones that are played everywhere. Who on earth thought “Santa Baby” would be a song people actually wanted to hear? Sure, I guess it’s a Marilyn Monroe sort of song but, well, alas, she’s dead and anyone else singing it is just annoying. Also, I’m sure “Grandma got run over by a reindeer” is quite charming when you’re, say, five or six but as an adult? Sorry…not for me. By the way, I actually just typed “Reindoor” which you’ll be pleased to know gave me a rather strange image of a door with antlers. Speaking of reindoors/reindeer, let’s talk about Rudolph. I’ve never been a fan- I’ve always disliked the message of that song: Pick on the poor, disfigured outcast until you realize he has value and then use him regularly. Perhaps if the song included an apology to poor Rudolph for all the snubbing and teasing he had to endure?

7. How much guilt I feel whenever I don’t say “yes, I want to donate a dollar to X charity when cashing out at a checkout.” I get why I’m being asked. It’s an easy way to make a tiny difference in the world without having to do very much. I actually get the same feeling of guilt when I pass by one of the many, many Salvation Army ringers that seem to have multiplied in the past few years. It’s not that I don’t want to donate. I do want to help those less fortunate than me as much as I want to provide a $1 towards helping homeless pets or giving the little local girl $2 for towards the leukemia foundation or I want to help St. Jude’s Hospital and so on….it’s just that while yes, I have a job and yes, I can spare some pocket change, it starts to add up and you simply can’t do it every time you to the store. My problem is that I’m very softhearted. It explains why hearing that Sarah McLaughlin song play while showing pictures of sad, abandoned dogs and cats makes me want to weep each time I see/hear the commercial. It’s just that...I don’t want to feel bad for saying ‘no’ and, unfortunately, sometimes I have to say…no.

8. Selfish parents. Sure, I get that you want to see “Breaking Dawn.” I mean, you’ve probably read the books, enjoyed a bit of a crush on Edward and have been waiting for the movie for months but, lady, your kid is SIX YEARS OLD! I’m sure you’ve got her excited about the movie ‘cause if mommy loves it, so will little Joanie and little Joanie thinks she wants to see it. However, don’t you think little Joanie is a wee bit too young to watch a vampire impregnate his new wife and have her baby delivered in a rather gruesome sick fashion? And maybe a werewolf falling in love with a baby is a wee bit…adult for a kid? Just ‘cause you want to see the movie, lady, doesn’t mean it’s ok to bring your kid to it. Sure, it’s only a PG-13 but the kid is SIX. (Thanks to Miss P. for help on that one but I’ve seen it/heard about it so it still doesn’t cease to amaze me.)

9. Why Justin Bieber has armies of girls/woman screaming over him. I simply just don’t get it. Even if I was fourteen, I still don’t think I’d get it. He looks like Mary Stuart Masterson in “Some Kind of Wonderful” half the time.

10. How time in the evening flies by but when you’re at work, it drags on by as though every minute is actually three minutes. I think it’s a trick of the universe that time spent at work IS actually longer than time spent doing something fun.

11. Midwestern weather. Tonight, I went to my garden and picked some fresh parsley and thyme. Both were in great shape, ready for my mushroom soup. Yet, while I picked them, it was snowing. Seriously. There's something weird about picking fresh summer herbs while it is snowing. I'm not complaining though, just musing about the irony of summer vs. winter in a study of herbs.

Ok, that’s it for now. As always, I try to keep it light. Feel free to add your own comments regarding what doesn’t cease to amaze you below. I’d be curious to see how mine differ.

Happy Wednesday!

Black Friday...Another Year of Chaos, Another Year of Bargains!

2011-11-27T15:42:00.000-08:00

Well, Thanksgiving has been and gone already. I hate when that happens. One minute, it's Wednesday evening, I'm heading to my parents after having left work early and the next, it's Sunday evening, the turkey's all gone and it's back to normal tomorrow.

I did have a good Thanksgiving though. As always, it was a nice calm day where my mum and I worked together to get everything prepped and ready for the meal. Then people started showing up, the food started being ready and chaos ensued. It's always getting the food from stove to table that seems to be the hardest part of a large meal.

However, it all turned out fine in the end. It was a delicious meal, I got to see almost my entire family- my poor sister had to work- and find out some ideas of what gifts I wanted to shop for on Black Friday.

Black Friday, of course, is definitely part of my Thanksgiving traditions. This year, due the annoying schedule of the stores, my sister and I did things a little differently. We did make it to Walmart at 10 p.m. Well, actually, we got there around 10:40 p.m. since my sister had to work until 10:30 p.m. Amazingly enough, my sister got everything on her list- quite a surprise considering we weren't there for the mad rush of the beginning of the sale.

Though Walmart was much busier than normal and the aisle with the electronics that were to go on sale at midnight was already a scary, scary place with people waiting, the rest of the shopping experience wasn't too bad. The trick is to know where to look for items. Sure, Walmart puts the specials in the middle of the aisles and provides a map but they don't go to the actual shelves and remove those items. Thus, though the salespeople said they were out of the Leapfrog Tag system my sister wanted for my niece, we merely went to the shelf, found the same item sitting there, price checked it to make sure it rang up at the Black Friday price and moved on. It was a little too easy, actually. I didn't buy anything at all. The only thing I wanted was a wireless media player for my TV but since that was part of the midnight sale, I wasn't about to stick around.

Besides, we had to be up and at 'em early the next day. We were up and out by 5 a.m. Our first major sale started at 6 a.m. at Menards. We were part of a line that wrapped around the building. However, in previous years, due to Walmart's 4 a.m. sale, we've never quite made the opening of Menards and always got there late. This year, we actually got there as the doors opened AND we secured a basket. Never before, in the history of our Black Friday shopping have we secured a basket in which to put our stuff.

Unfortunately, the basket soon became full and also, my sister decided she wanted to purchase a rather nice spa box for my sister-in-law that appeared to be on sale for less than $10. It was about 24 inches by 24 inches and weight about 6 pounds. Due to the fact that my sister is pregnant and I'm a little overprotective, I gave her the lighter basket to carry and the spa set became my carrying vessel on which we piled stuff that wouldn't fit in the basket. We were almost 100% successful at Menards. I purchased two rather nice 1.5 quart crockpots for $2.97 each! Now THAT is a bargain for me. I'm not greedy enough I wanted both- I got one for my mum. I also got dog toys, slipper socks and various other useful items. While some of them were for gifts, I also find Black Friday to be an excellent way to get items that I actually need/want at bargain prices. I only buy things I don't ask for as gifts, by the way.

However, even with the triumph of finding everything on our lists giving us energy, by the time we got to the checkout, my forearms were rather tired from holding the spa box and all of its cargo around the store. Also, Menards was a madhouse- people WILL fight to the death for a $3 Snuggie. (I don't buy Snuggies, for the record). THey also fight for $1.49 fleece blankets. I did join the fray for one of those. The girls and I like to snuggle on cold winter nights and last year's bargain could easily be replaced.

By the time we were next in line to checkout, I had jelly arms. Finally, success! My sister and I seperated our buyings so that she could pay first. I was not unhappy to release the spa box. Unfortunately, when it rang up, it was $29.99, not the $7.50 it was labeled on the shelf. We did think it was an awfully good deal but it also was Black Friday. There turned out to be no rebate and suddenly, $29.99 did not seem like a deal so my sister asked the cashier to take it off her receipt. I didn't blame her but it would have been helpful to know that I hadn't had to carry that rather heavy item around the entire store for 30 minutes.

Ah well, we moved on to Target which had started its sale at 10 p.m. the night before. Surprisingly enough, with the exception of one board game, my sister also go everything on her list. We moved on. Since there was a different Walmart there, we stopped in so I could see if they had my wireless media player. Lo and behold, they did. In fact, aside from the $2.99 chopper and $9 griddle that eluded us last year also, Walmart also appeared to have almost everything from their ad except for the HDMI cable which I needed for the media player.

After Walmart, we went to the local mall and managed to get several gifts checked off our list. By this time, it was 10 a.m. and the insanity of the die-hard, early morning shoppiers had died down.

We ended our day with a tasty lunch and headed home. It was a very successful Black Friday. I even ended up getting my $10 HDMI cable- I wanted to look at Christmas trees so my parents and I headed back up to their local Walmart after I'd had a bit of a break. Lo and behold, they had lots of the $10 cables which the other Walmart did not have.

The moral of this Black Friday tale is that while it's sort of fun to join in the chaos of being one of the early morning shoppers, it's not always necessary to score a deal. Just like we weren't the first customers at Walmart the night before but still managed to get a Wii for $99 (my sister's purchase), we managed to get everything on our lists at almost every store without being there at the opening. Menards was the exception. That's the one store that has such good bargains that you do have to be there as early as possible. People tend to really go for the $2.97 crockpots, $1.99 unstuffed dog toys, 99 cent furry slipper socks, $1.49 fleece blankets and, of course, $3 Snuggies.

When all was said and done, my sister and I finished another Black Friday successfull. I am further ahead in my shopping than ever, have ideas for gifts and am well on my way to being ahead of the Christmas shopping game. While I love Thanksgiving with my family, eating yummy turkey and cooking the meal, I also love Black Friday. It's a tradition between my sister and I and I enjoy the lunacy of being up, awake and shopping at 5 a.m.

It ended up being a good weekend. However, like all good weekends, its followed by a return to work tomorrow. Since I like my job, I'm not dreading it. I do wish I had another day but, well, that would be greedy. Now it's time to relax with the pups, review my Christmas shopping, check out Cyber Monday deals and settle in for the night.

There could be far worse way to end a weekend!

Resorting to Dog Trickery

2011-11-22T12:43:00.000-08:00

It hasn’t stopped raining all day. Generally, I rather like rainy days but I prefer them when I can stay home, be lazy, listen to the rain and snuggle with the dogs. Unfortunately, today was not one of those days and, instead, I had to venture out into the wet landscape to go to work as usual.

The pups don’t like rainy days. It’s actually quite funny to see them. They get so excited when they get up in the mornings and I let them outside. They run out the back door and then…they stop. You can almost hear their little legs grinding to a halt as they realize it’s raining.

The unfortunate part is that they generally turn around and come back inside. This is fine if they’ve been out recently but when they just wake up after a night’s sleep, generally you’d think they had to go outside.

Even if they do, their desire to stay dry apparently overrules a full bladder. Since they’re completely housebroken and that they’re pretty smart, I used to assume that if they really needed to go, they’d go. Unfortunately, I discovered that this was the case only they decided to go indoors after I went to work.

This only happened once. Since then, I’ve found ways to get them to go outside. The meanest way I have is to trick them. It works well, I must admit. It’s pretty simple: I have two doors that lead to the back garden. They are in the same room, the Tuscan sunroom I redecorated earlier this year. The back doors face one another on opposite walls. One leads out to the patio. The other leads to the side of the house. On a normal day, I open up the door that leads to the side of the house and the pups run out.

On rainy days when they refuse to go out, I simply open up the other door. I step out onto the patio which has a slight overhang that keeps me dry. My loyal little pups follow, curious to see what I’m doing. Then, when they’re out, I quickly go back inside, shutting the door behind me. Meanwhile, I’ve left the other back door open. This means that they must go outside to get back into the house which inevitably leads to them realizing they might as well go to the bathroom since they’re already wet.

Yes, this is a mean trick. However, when I’m in a hurry and I have to get to work and I can’t coax them out any other way, it’s the best method to ensure they go outside. Also, they don’t seem to mind and come to greet me when they come back inside, trying to rub their little wet bodies against my legs- a small price to pay for my slightly cruel trick.

My nicer, kinder method to getting them to go outside is to simply go out with them. If it’s not raining too hard, I step outside for a minute. They follow. Then I go back under the overhang so I stay dry. They’re ok if they know I’m out there. If this doesn’t work, I have been known to stand out in the rain with an umbrella. They like it a lot more if I hold the umbrella over them too but, let’s face it, that’s just a little too indulgent. They seem content to be in the rain if they know I’m out there too.

If it’s not raining too hard, they don’t mind going out. It’s only when they get soaked that they mind. Of course, this is all dependent on their mood. There are times when they run out in the rain anyway. It seems that once they’re soaked, they figure that it doesn’t matter if they stay outside- they’re already wet. They tend to stay out for a while in this case. The bad part is that they’re soaked when they come in and if I’m not quick enough with the towel, they divebomb the carpet, rolling with glee as they get the beads of water off themselves.

Today was a day when they didn’t want to go out. In the morning, I had to resort to my cruel trickery. At lunch, I stood out there with them. This evening, well, I left the door open enough so that when the rain slowed and they really had to go out, they could go.

The only downside is that like young children, the dogs get bored if they’re stuck inside. Rory will lie on the floor and stare at me. When I look at her, she barks at me as if to say, “HUMAN! AMUSE ME! NOW!” Sookie, meanwhile, has given up and decided to resort to her favourite activity- sleeping. When I decide that playing with Rory on the floor is the best way to amuse her, Sookie automatically sprints up to join in. She does NOT like to miss out on fun. Usually, all I have to do is grab a squeaky toy and play tug-of-war with Rory and bam! Sookie is suddenly there, wanting to play too. Eventually, I try to sneak away and let the two play tug-of-war but this doesn’t last long and before I know it, Rory is woofing at me again.

It’s a vicious cycle. Last year, I resorted to those toys that are supposed to occupy dogs for a while- you stuff treats inside and the dogs are supposed to figure out how to release the treats. Unfortunately, my dachshunds tag-team and figuring it out takes half the time it should because one holds it down and the other sticks her tongue inside, forcing the treats out.

I suppose I should be happy that I have smart dogs. The problem is that they’re not quite smart enough that I can sit them down with a book or jigsaw puzzle.

Still, while they might get bored when it’s rainy, their presence ensures that I never do. Besides, when they do come inside and they’ve dried themselves on the carpet, it is rather pleasant to have them snuggle up beside me even though I know it’s 50% love and 50% need to warm up/dry off by using me as a human towel.

Besides, I think I owe them for tricking them into going outside. I always feel a little guilty about that.

Happy Wednesday and have a great Thanksgiving holiday!

2011-11-20T15:24:00.000-08:00

It's hard to believe it's just a couple of days before Thanksgiving. So far, weatherwise, it's been so mild, it's hard to believe it's November. While there have been a couple of cold days, for the most part, it's been slightly balmy and pleasant.

I can't say I'm completely happy about the balmyness. I mean, after all, it is November.Inside, I really want to wear my snowflake necklace but due to its supposed influence on the weather, I've been forbidden by several people.

Ah well, I don't really mind. My sister and I are determined to get an early start on Black Friday and if that means getting up and driving off in my car without having to defrost it from a thick layer of ice, I'm pretty happy. Also, it's nice to go out without worrying that my skin might freeze should that cruel wind blow too hard against me.

Also, the milder weather allowed me to explore the weekend in an outdoor fashion. For a start, I got the remainder of my garden cleared. The dead tomato plants and zinnias are now gone. I retired the gnomes to the shed as well as the solar lights I installed just a few months ago. Even though the weather is pleasant now, this

Still, the is the Midwest. This means that even though it was 65 degrees today, it could easily be 10 below tomorrow it a blizzard. Thus, even though my gnomes looked a little pitiful as I forced them into hibernation, they're safe from any winter weather that may decide to fall our way.

In addition, I got to explore ChristKindlMarkt- a Christmas festival sponsored by the Germania Society of Cincinnati. Even though I was born and raised British, my granddad is German and I was also raised with several German traditions. Thus, I felt like it was something to explore.

It was definitely worth attending. Germany does have some lovely Christmas traditions. One of my favourites is Gleuwein- hot mulled wine. It was rather lovely sipping a mug as I explored the booths. I did come home with a few gifts/keepsakes, my favourite being a handblown dachshund Christmas ornament that looked very much like my Sookie Sue. I also discovered that while I'd love to buy my sister the cuckoo clock she once said she'd love to have, the reality of it is that cuckoo clocks are very expensive. Overall, I had a lovely time and enjoyed the fact that I was in a place where it was perfectly ok to carry a cup of beer around while browsing the merchandise. I'm not a lush or alcoholic by any means but I am a Brit. It's just nice to see a relaxed approach to people drinking. Also, the smell of fresh apple strudel coupled with mulled wine and cheated on by dill pickle soup is a specatular sensory prompt to feeling in the mood for the holidays. Also, there were cute baby goats that bleated and sheep that baa'd as I approached the festival- it made me almost feel that I was in a German village for a second. By the time, I'd finished my mug of mulled wine, I positively felt that I was in a strange German enclave of Cincinnati. It was rather a nice experience although I was slightly disappointed that Sookie and Rory weren't as impressed at their handblown likeness as I was when I showed them the ornament I bought.

All in all, it's been rather a nice weekend. Even though it was tinged with Christmas, it really is the last weeked I'll have before the holidays kick in with full force. Next weekend is Thanksgiving. After that, it's all about Christmas. It was rather nice to have a weekend that was lazy enough to reflect upon the craziness that will happen over the next few weekends.

Even though the weekend is rolling to a halt, it's not so bad knowing that it's a three day work-week that ends in turkey and shopping. Being a fan of turkey and the slightly control-freakish, manic planning that goes along with plotting a meal for 14 people, I'm looking forward to this Thanksgiving. I also like the shopping that comes afterwards because Black Friday is really the gateway to opening the doors and letting Christmas flood in.

Still, for now, we're just on the cusp before the holidays take over and where we can still enjoy the relative calmness of Autumn. Now, if we could just have a little snow and cooler air, I'd feel a little more festive.

Ah well, if it doesn't happen, there's always my snowflake necklace. It's ready, willing and waiting. So am I, for that matter. Nevertheless, I'll hold off for a couple more weeks based on the promise I've made. Of course, promises can be broken....

But I'm not that kind of Monkeypants. At least...not until I worry that we might not have a white Christmas. Then I'm bringing the necklace out. Desperate measures and all that.

Happy Monday!

Changing the Traditions of Black Friday

2011-11-18T05:09:00.000-08:00

I’m a little annoyed about Black Friday this year.

Last year, after Black Friday, I wrote a blog complaining about how irritating it was that Walmart had two sales- one at midnight on Black Friday and one at 4 a.m. Due to the midnight sale, those of us who got up early to make the 4 a.m. sale were screwed out of most of the good bargains. I know it served both me and my sister right for being lazy for not wanting to stay up really late after a day of spending time with the family, helping cook a massive meal, wrangling dogs and entertaining children. Instead, we chose to sleep a little and then got up super early to go to the Walmart 4 a.m. sale and then go onto the other 5 a.m. sales.

So, imagine my irritation this year now that Black Friday has become Black Thanksgiving. Walmart is now starting their sale at 10 p.m. on Thanksgiving. Toys R’ Us are starting at 9 p.m. Never mind the fact that some people actually want to spend the day eating turkey and relaxing with family without having to plan on how they’re going to be able to make it to the store at 9 p.m. in order to try to compete for bargains.

I suppose the easiest thing for me to do would be to just shut up and not bother going to the sales if I really am that irritated at it.

It’s just that, well, I don’t like having to make that decision. Most of the stores are opening at midnight this year- Target and Macy’s come to mind. This means that shoppers can celebrate Thanksgiving and then, after probably drinking wine with their meal, heading out to wait in line for the stores to open. Alternatively, they can spend a portion of their day sleeping so they are refreshed in order to go out and about and shop.

Either way, it seems a little bit rude to the Thanksgiving holiday.

Ironically, I’m British. My family wasn’t raised with Thanksgiving. We only started celebrating it because we moved to the States and it was part of the culture. Now we celebrate because we have American ‘interlopers’ in the family who do celebrate.

Still, given that Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time for relaxing, reflecting, spending time with family and/or friends and, you know, BEING THANKFUL, isn’t it a little disrespectful to interrupt the day making people have to decide between tradition and bargains?

I’m not the only one who thinks so. A Target employee from Nebraska started a petition online requesting that Target open at 5 a.m. like always because opening at midnight is ruining Thanksgiving for the employees who have to work.

I agree with him. I don’t work at Target but I did work in a video rental store that was open 365 days a year and, let me tell you, it sucks to have to bolt down your Thanksgiving dinner and then go listen to people complain because you don’t have a copy of “Dumb and Dumber” in stock. It also sucks if you go home and you have to have your Thanksgiving dinner reheated on the plate ‘cause you had to work while everyone else in the family had time to eat.

Also, it’s just awkward timing because there are stores opening at 5 a.m. Now the choice becomes do you want to go do some shopping on Thanksgiving night, get home at 1 or 2 a.m. sleep for two hours and go back out or do you want to stay up all night?

Either way, I don’t like it. I’m not a late night person, I prefer to get up early and get out and about. I liked it when people called my sister and I crazy but getting up at 3:15 a.m. in order to get to Walmart and be there when it opened at 4 a.m. Sure, it was crazy but it was the beginning of a day where we’d move on to other stores, pause for lunch somewhere and be done by 2 p.m. Now, if we follow this plan, most of the stores opening at midnight or earlier will most likely be out of the doorbuster bargains and it really won’t be any different to shopping on a regular day.

I’m disappointed, I admit. Granted, in the grand scheme of things, it’s a small thing to be disappointed about. It’s just that like Thanksgiving itself, the 4 a.m. shopping trips were tradition for my sister and I and I don’t like it when people mess with tradition. I love the time with my sister because we don’t get to go out together as much as we used to and this has become our day.

I just don’t like that it’s not a straight shot anymore. You can either eat turkey, shop, go to bed and get up again, you can eat turkey, run to Walmart, run home, sleep for three hours and then go out again or you can skip the sleep entirely and most likely be quite unpleasant the next day.

Still, even with the petition, the circulars are printed and the store hours are set, at least for this year. The sad part is that now the stores have changed the tradition, they’re probably going to keep the new one for a while.

Is it so wrong that I want to enjoy my Thanksgiving day without having to think about fighting people in Walmart for a $3 chopper a few hours after eating my turkey?

Happy Friday and thanks for reading!

Craigslist: The Usefulness and Presumptiveness that Comes with a Great Creation

2011-11-15T17:37:00.001-08:00

I find Craigslist to be a fascinating place. You can pretty much find anything on Craigslist from dates to jobs to obscure personal items for sale. Unlike the classified ad section of a newspaper, you don’t have to wait until the next day for something new to appear. It’s pretty cool how it’s an ever changing landscape of weirdness.

I’ve used it several times to get rid of items I don’t want. For example, per my friend Emily’s suggestion, I decided that Craigslist might be a better option to get rid of my collection of unwanted doors than simply throwing them away. I personally probably wouldn’t want to get free doors off Craigslist but like my mother said, people will take anything if it’s free.

Besides, I figured that there might be someone out there who had a desperate need for some new doors and no budget. Thus, why not give them away? I’ve done this before with an entertainment centre and a large collection of cardboard boxes that I used to move into my house.

My mother is right. People will take anything if it’s free. They will also, however, be quite rude and presumptive.

For example, with the doors, I decided that I didn’t want people picking and choosing the doors. I had a picture of people coming to examine the doors and deciding which ones they did or didn’t want and leaving the left behind. Thus, in my ad on Craigslist, I described the doors as best I could. I’m no door expert. I know there are different sizes but these were pretty standard sized. I had four sliding closet doors, one back door and one outdoor screen door. My ad said, “No picking or choosing- you must take all of the doors.” Also, I stated “You must load and haul away.” Not that I wouldn’t assist with the loading if necessary but well, I figured it didn’t hurt to be clear.

So…after I placed my ad, I began to get emails. The first couple were standard “Do you still have the doors?” emails. Then I began to get “Can I come look at them? I only want the screen door,” emails. Then people started being more specific, asking me to please measure the doors.

Now, I suppose that it would have been nice and smart to measure the doors. However, the lazy part of me felt that if someone was going to get six free doors, they could measure them once they got them home. I did say they were standard sized. Granted, if I didn’t have an inbox full of mail from people who didn’t care if measured the doors, they just wanted them, it would have been different. I could be lazy and so I was.

In the end, I started with the first reasonable email. The guy wanted me to call and leave my address on his voicemail. Unfortunately, while I really, really wanted to lose the doors, I’m also not an idiot and I am not about to leave my address on the voicemail of a complete stranger. So I told him to call me. I gave him four hours. No call. I decided to move down to the next email- I wanted the doors gone and my preference was for someone to get them asap. Well, the second guy told me that he couldn’t the doors until next week but would I deliver?

I moved on. The third time was a charm. I spoke to a nice man who lived 10 minutes away. He agreed to come in the evening. I had to leave work a little early because we were supposed to have nasty storms and I didn’t want the guy to get stuck hauling doors in 45 mph winds. He did arrive as promised, didn’t inspect the doors but just took them. He said that he had a friend who’d moved into a stripped house that had nothing and he wanted to give him the doors. I was happy- this is the exact type of person I wanted to donate my doors to and so I felt not only that I’d helped a new homeowner but, also, I got rid of the blasted things.

It just makes me laugh about the presumption of people though. With my entertainment centre, I measured and took photos of it and I put it up on Craigslist for free. People wanted to know if it would fit in “x” sized room. Well, since I did provide the measurements, surely they could figure it out. I had someone who wanted to know if I’d remove the glass doors for them and then they’d take it. I ignored that one.

I guess my attitude is wrong but I can’t help but think if something’s free then surely you can’t be too picky…right? I mean I suppose if you’re going to come and pick up some doors, you want to make sure you can use them but, well, when someone clearly says “No picking and choosing” in the ad, that generally means NO PICKING OR CHOOSING…right?

With my free boxes, I folded them flat to make them easy to store. I took pictures and put them on my Craigslist ad. I had people ask if I could assemble the boxes before they picked them up. Uh, no….sorry….for one thing, they’re way easier to move if they’re flat and, well, you want 50 free boxes, you can bloody well assemble them yourself.

I’ve had experiences on the other side of Craigslist too. For example, I wanted to build a privacy fence when I first moved in and I was so sick of Dog Whisperer’s noisy beasts, I decided to shut them out. I found a guy on Craigslist who charged a reasonable fee for his hourly rate, would pick up the materials provided I paid and build the fence. I got in touch with him. He seemed decent. I arranged for him to come inspect the garden to see how much fence I’d need. He never showed up. I tried to call. I never heard back from him. Now, it is entirely possible that some nasty fencing accident befell him and he was unable to contact me but, alas, his ad on Craigslist appeared again two weeks later.

I suppose I’m a sucker. I can’t help but think if someone agrees to something, they should follow it through. I know people who buy things on Craigslist and more than one has showed up to a place and no one’s been home or the item wasn’t as promised.

It’s a shame that there are abusers of such a nifty service. I’m still a big fan of Craigslist. It’s a fantastic way for getting rid of crap. My brother in law has used it to trade things- he started out with a ton of junk he got from garage sales and he ended up with a car. Granted, the car didn’t run very well but I thought it as a pretty good trade. My sister didn’t agree since it stood in her driveway for a while but…I was impressed at free car.

Still, in the end, I got rid of my doors. I do have a couple of angry messages from people who really wanted my doors but were too late to get them but I can ignore those. It really does prove the saying, another person’s junk is another person’s treasure. My only rule is that if my junk is your treasure, you come and get it. It’s worked pretty well so far. I did feel a little bad about not measuring the doors but, truth be told, I kind of figured that most doors were the same size. It just goes to show that I’m a door-ignoramus.

Ah well, the only ones I have to deal with now are the ones already in my house, being used. I have a much cleaner garage and I got to help someone.

And it’s all thanks to Craigslist and people who will take anything for free.

Happy Wednesday!

Weekends...Holidays and...Everything in Between

2011-11-13T15:52:00.000-08:00

This has been a strange weekend. We are in that strange period between Halloween and Thanksgiving where it's no longer Halloween but not quite Thanksgiving but Christmas is trying to usurp the territory of both.

I still haven't figured out where I should fit. I know it's too early for Christmas but the Christmas lover in me is gravitating towards the music and glitter of the holiday displays. I hate it and yet part of me is, like, "CHRISTMAS!!!" and it's easy for me to want to start sipping hot chocolate, singing carols and decking the halls.

The other part of me is "BAH HUMBUG! It's not even Thanksgiving! WHY would "Deck the Halls" and "Jingle Bells" be good things for me to hear? Exactly! IT's TOO EARLY!

So, you get it. The commercialism of the holidays is starting to infect me. My rational brain has taken over but it doesn't mean that the minute I hear any interpretion of anything remotely Christmas by Transiberian Orchestra, I'm not going to go out, buy a new tree, bedeck it with candy canes and toss iciles upon each and every undecorated branch.

I'm trying to fight it. Sure, I bought another Christmas gift this weekend as well as a couple of ornaments for the tree..but it doesn't mean I'm into Christmas....right?

Just kidding. Sort of. I tried to fight the Christmas spirit the weekend. I did so by embracing the Indian summer we sort of had and enjoy the outdoors. This involved taking Sookie and Rory for a walk over in the park. It went well at first. On the way back, however, Rory decided she'd walked enough and sat down. When Rory sits, this means no one else walks. She's quite good at sitting her bottom down and refusing to move. As a result, I ended up carrying her. I wanted to be amused but when you've already walked two miles and you're carrying a 20+ pound dachshund and alreay out of shape, being amused comes in second to being out-of-breath and annoyed that I parked the car so far away.

Still, Rory and I both made it. I spent the rest of the weekend...being productive.

Sometimes, I long for weekends where I do nothing but, the truth is, I'm not good at doing nothing. I like to be busy. Thus, for the remainder of my weekend, I was busy. I cleaned out the garage for the first time since I moved into my house. It was a mess to say the least. However, in spite of quite a few extra doors and window screens, I managed to come out on top. While I know the old lady who owned the house before me meant well by preserving every extra door...and screen, the truth is that I have no extra room. Thus, I now have six doors I need to lose. I'm hoping I can put them out with the rubbish on Wednesday but we'll see. I emailed Rumpke to check....I'm not sure what to do next.

However, in spite of the extra doors and screens, I have a clean garage. This was a triumph of my weekend. In addition, I managed to write 4000 words towards my new novel which may not seem like an accomplishment but when you're competing in NaNoWriMO and it takes 50K words to win, every word counts.

In short, it's been a good but productive weekend which seems the way good weekends go these days. I anticipate them from about 7 a.m. on Friday morning and then when Saturday hits, it's a blur until Sunday.

Still, for now, I don't mind the rushed blur of a weekend. As always, I wish they lasted longer but I'm ok for now. However, ask me when I get closer to Christmas and I might be in more of a panic. It depends how many store I enter/commecials I hear that tell me that I should be decking the halls, baking cookies and being done with shopping. I'm not usual so suspectible but this year, it seems a lot more serious. I'm trying to avoid it but, well,I can't lie and say it's working.

Ah well, next there's still another weekend before Thanksgiving which means an extra weekend to get Christmas stuff done.

There's something weird about that,isn't there? Surely it should be turkey before tree....right? Unless it's tree before turkey which is rather confusing since we British ex-pats eat turkey on Thanksgiving and>

Ah well, I love Christmas. I love turkey. I love Halloween. I guess this means that anything goes...right?

Deck the halls...with turkey and pumpkins...that's the way I like it...

I think.

Happy Monday!

Snow at the End of a Strange Week

2011-11-10T16:24:00.000-08:00

It snowed today. It was rather unexpected but also rather delightful.

Two days ago, we had a day where it was 71 degrees. We didn’t wear coats. Two days later, it’s snowing. This is actually quite typical for Ohio but it’s still rather fascinating.

This whole week has actually been a little bizarre. Workwise, it’s been very uneven. Some days have been so slow and have dragged on for what seemed like forever. Other days were so busy they flew by before I got everything done.

Aside from work, it’s been a strange week. I signed up to participate in National Novel Writing Month again. I’ve found it’s an excellent way for me to, you know, write. Lately, I haven’t been writing so regularly. I don’t know why. I still love it. It’s just that I haven’t really felt like it. I don’t know if it’s laziness or my brain has just not wanted to write anything since last year at this time when I wrote “Emmy Goes to Hell.”

I’m not writing another book in my demon series. I need a break. I know there are a few people out there wanting a sequel but I don’t think the demand is enough that I HAVE to write one for a while. I don’t really want to at the moment anyway. While those books are entertaining, I’d like to think I’m a better writer than that and I’m capable of something more interesting and better written.

The ironic thing is that I really don’t know what I’m writing in this current book. I have a few vague ideas but I’m returning to my old habit of just letting the story come out on its own. My past few books including the demon ones have felt forced to me. They haven’t felt like my writing. I like it much better when I find my characters and connect with them and they guide the story. I like being surprised and I’ve got into the habit of not being surprised.

Thus, since I’ve written every night this week, the story I’m writing has become quite interesting. I rather like having no clue where it’s going next. As I said, I have a vague idea but, to me, that’s the best way to write.

I think the weirdness of the week is partially due to the time change too. Ever since we “Fell Back” an hour last weekend, I’ve felt a little out-of-sorts. The pups have too. I’ve noticed they still seem to like to get up at the same time as last week which is all very well but the same time as last week is actually an hour earlier this week. Did you follow that. To put it more simply- Rory Wrigglebottom Gilmore now becomes a wide-awake Rory Wrigglebottom Gilmore at 5:45 a.m. instead of 6:45 a.m. For the past few moments, I’ve awoken to find a doggie nose inches from my face, big brown eyes wide and staring, just waiting for me to open my eyes. The minute I do, I get pounced on. I suppose it’s good that they don’t pounce while I’m sleeping but both dogs tend to be a little restless a lot earlier than they used to be.

The problem is that they’re going to bed earlier too. They haven’t figured out that humans feel the need to change the clock an hour backwards and thus their internal clock is still telling them it’s ‘bedtime’ at the same time it was last week. This means they’re passing out on the couch, legs sticking up on the air, flat on their backs at 8:30 p.m. instead of 9:30 p.m. This probably explains why they wake up earlier too but it’s a little hard to sleep at the moment.

Now, it’s snowing. I’m quite happy. It’s not the type of snow where I’m inspired to go home, make hot chocolate and enjoy it since it’s rather furious flurries that are over in moments and it’s still far too warm on the ground for it to do anything other than land as wet splodges. I do, however, have Hungarian goulash in the crockpot which I think might make the perfect meal on a cool, snowy evening.

I’m just hoping that I actually get to relax a little with my TV shows tonight. The last time I furiously wrote to get my word count for the day, I did so with the promise to myself that I could watch “Glee,” “Ringer” and “Parenthood” after as my ‘reward.’ Then I discovered that DirecTV was having trouble with their HD channels. The non-HD version of each channel was working, however. This would have been fine if I’d have, you know, watched the shows live rather than rely on my DVR but, alas, my DVR didn’t record anything and thus, I missed all three. Hopefully, tonight, I will get to watch “Vampire Diaries” (remember: NO MOCKING) and “Grey’s Anatomy” with no problems. I’m also watching “Person of Interest” because I love Michael Emerson who endeared himself to me as creepy Ben Linus on “Lost.” Unfortunately, “Person of Interest” is becoming one of those shows that I don’t feel like I really want to watch until I have nothing else left on my DVR to watch. It’s…ok but it’s a bit….boring.

Ah well, perhaps I’ll watch it over the weekend. I think it’s supposed to warm up this weekend again. Knowing Ohio, it’ll probably warm up to 90 degrees and we’ll be sweating in our thick coats and gloves that we got out to deal with this snow.

You just never can tell.

Happy Friday and have a great weekend!

My Somewhat Ridiculous and Really Not Practical Christmas Wishlist

2011-11-08T17:17:00.000-08:00

1. I would like my dogs to be able to understand that they cannot climb trees and no matter how hard they try, they will never be able to follow a squirrel up one.

2. I would like Kim Kardashian to go away. I don’t even know what she’s famous for but she’s certainly in a lot of headlines.

3. Re: #2, I would like celebrities and people of influence to realize that marriage is not just something for publicity. It actually is supposed to mean a lot and it does to most people. Kim Kardashian’s ridiculous wedding could have probably covered the salaries of several out-of-work people in this bad economy and it didn’t even last three months.

4. I would like Ryan Gosling to do the lift from “Dirty Dancing” with me. Shirtless. If you don’t know what I mean, watch “Crazy, Stupid Love.” You’ll get it. Maybe. And if not, I’m sorry but you’re weird or…not into Ryan Gosling which is perfectly fine.

5. I would like “Glee” to be good. I watch it and I don’t know why at this point. It’s over-the-top, irritating and for no reason whatsoever, Lea Michele really bugs me. There’s an easy solution, I know…stop watching. I just…can’t…not yet.

6. I would like the Twilight phenomenon to go away now. I sort of get it. It’s just…not that good and it’s gone on too long. Also, Breaking Dawn did not need to be two parts- it’s about a vampire and human who get married, get pregnant their first time in having sex, have a grisly birth scene and have a werewolf fall in love with their baby. Oh, and there’s some kind of standoff between vampires that ends up fizzling out into nothing more than a conversation. It’s not Harry Potter by any means- one part would have been just fine.

7. I would like my dogs to pick up their own toys and vacuum the floor. Also, it’d be nice if they could make me a cup of tea when I get home from work.

8. I would to know why sometimes I have the urge to climb over the stall door when I go to the bathroom at work. It’s a peculiar urge I have and I don’t know why.

9. I would still like someone to invent a three slice toaster preferably in a triangular design. I’m not scientific/engineering-y enough. However, sometimes, two slices is too little and four slices is too much. I suppose I could just get a four slice one and not use the last slot but a triangular one would just be niftier.

10. I’d like to be able to shoot water out of my finger. I know this is strange but wouldn’t it be fun to point and squirt sometime? This is not my desired superpower but it’d be fun. If I could have my desired superpower, I’d like to be able to heal people with my mind.

11. I would like to teleport. This way I’d never have to go to the airport again and pay ridiculous fees and charges.

12. Speaking of #11- I would like airline travel to become fun again. It was once. I even remember it. I miss the days of free Toblerones, free wine and politeness from the airline staff. Also, I miss the days were you didn’t have to check your bank balance before you got on a plane in case you got hungry.

13. I’d like to be able to perform telekinesis. It would make being lazy much easier.

14. I’d like to know what my dogs are thinking. Just my dogs though. I don’t want to know what people are thinking. That’d be scary and make things a little too complicated. And I don’t want to know what other animals are thinking because then I might have to become a vegetarian and we can’t have that.

15. I’d like to know why the “Happy Feet” movie gives me a feeling of distaste. It’s a movie about penguins! Yet something about it just gives me a slight case of the creeps.

16. I’d like wine to have no calories.

17. I’d like cheese to have no calories or fat.

18. I’d like butter to have no calories or fat.

19. I’d like Mario Batali to cook me dinner with the cheese that has no calories or fat, with plenty of calorie and fat-free butter with a nice bottle of no-calorie wine.

20. I’d like to solve everyone’s problems and make the world happy.

21. I’d like to know why rotting potatoes smell so much worse than rotting lemons.

22. I’d like “Veronica Mars,” “Gilmore Girls” and “Buffy” to come back on the air with new episodes.

23. I’d like it to snow without making the roads scary.

24. I’d like to buy the world a Coke but have it be a Mexican Coke with real sugar rather than corn syrup. And by Mexican Coke, I mean the tasty beverage that is Coca-Cola. Just in case there’s any confusion.

25. I’d like world peace because, well, this is a wish list and doesn’t everyone wish for world peace? Besides, I’ve never understood why people like to shoot each other and blow each other up. This is why I don’t understand boxing. Why do people want to watch people punch each other in the face? Yes, world peace would be very sensible.

I think that’s it for now.

By the way, this is intended to be silly and not an expression of greed in any way shape or form. Also, I tried to stay away from anything too personal or political. That’s my disclaimer.

Thanks for reading- Happy Wednesday!

Christmas Shopping...in November....

2011-11-06T16:58:00.001-08:00

As always, this weekend has gone way too fast! It actually seems like life is going by too fast. When you get to Autumn and Halloween passes, suddenly it seems like there are very few weekends between now, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Sure, in terms of days, it seems like a lot but in terms of weekend, there's not as many as there could be in order to get things done.

It's not like I'm even that much of a busy person. It's more that I like to drag out celebrating Christmas and when it's broken down into the cold hard facts of there being about 8 weekends between now and then, it really doesn't seem like much particularly when you're already getting invitations to do stuff, there are birthdays in there and work, as always, might get in the way.

So, I'm trying to get a head start. I actually started Christmas shopping in August. Yes, I know it's early but I'm a firm believer in being prepared and even if it's four months early, if I see something someone I know will like and it's at the right price, it will keep for a few months. I still have a lot to buy, however.

The funny thing is that there are quite a few days until Christmas. Even though I work every day, that's not to say I can't do stuff after work. Also, there are still about eight weekends until Christmas. It might be seven or eight. If I had a calendar nearby, I'd count but...I don't and I'm lazy.

Regardless, I'm feeling oddly...panicked already about Christmas which is...wierd. Normally, I don't get that panicked about the holidays because, as I said, I like to be prepared. It's only when you're lying in bed, two days before Christmas Day, running through the checklist of what you've bought and for whom you've bought gifts and you realize, oops...you still haven't got that thing for person X. I know, I know...Christmas isn't really about the gifts and there's more meaning to it than that. I'm not saying there isn't. Yet the cold hard fact of the matter is if you're passing out gifts to your family and you realize that, crap, you forgot to get something for your sister-in-law, etc...you feel like a complete loser of a twit.

Thus, even though it is about much more than gifts, gifts are a part of the celebration. So, buying gifts is part of Christmas...

No, I think my feelings of panic are entirely the fault of retailers who decided that the day after Halloween was a perfectly fine time to overly bedeck the halls, slam us with Christmas advertisements and start having Christmas sales with great prices.

My mistake is that I went shopping on Saturday. I went innocently- one of the warehouse outlets near me was having a great sale on a fold up table and I'd offered to go get one for my parents who are officially starting a Kids Table at Thanksgiving this year. Since they have no actual table at which to sit the kids, the one I saw in the ad would have been perfect.

I got the table with no problems. However, the store was also having a huge sale on Christmas decorations and toys. Even though I try NOT to jump into Christmas until at least Thanksgiving, I usually resist. However, it's quite easy to get sucked in. My strategy is to try to buy ahead so that there's not too much financial stress right before Christmas. I figured it wouldn't hurt to look.

So I did. I found a gift for my niece. It was a great price and I think she'll like it. However, this find of a gift coupled with the Christmas-bedazzled store and the strange, distant sound of Christmas carols flipped a switch into my brain. Immediately, I began to scour the shelves to find gifts for my other niece and my two nephews. I couldn't find anything that jumped out at me and for one moment, I had that brief urgent distress signal flare up: WHAT IF I CAN'T FIND A GIFT FOR THEM? WHAT IF IT'S THE WRONG GIFT AND THEY HATE IT.

Fortunately, I am actually a mostly rational human. I immediately had an internal dialogue with that side of my brain in which the Christmas switch had flipped that went something like this:

"DUDE! CALM DOWN."
"I CAN'T! I NEED TO BUY GIFTS."
"Sweetie, it's November the Fifth. It's Guy Fawkes Day."
"Thanks for reminding me. I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING THEY'LL LIKE!"
"My point is- It's THE FIFTH OF NOVEMBER."
"Yes. And?"
"YOU HAVE EIGHT WEEKS! In eight weeks, I'm quite sure that you'll be quite capable of not only buying gifts for the kids but the adults as well."
"Oh. Ok. WAIT! Should I look for gifts for the adults?"
"No."
"No? But.."
"Shut up and go buy shampoo."
"Oh. Ok."
"And you need drain opener too. Have a look for that."
"Ok. Do you think...?"
"No. Go buy drain cleaner."

You get my point, right? I know that one of the reasons for Christmas saturation beginning so early is that the retailers know that with the economy still being pretty bad, people are trying to stretch out their spending...much like me. It makes it much easier to buy gifts if you're thrust into the season as soon as you walk into a store even if it is only the first week of November.

It's just that, for the first time, even though I have some gifts, I'm already feeling behind which is ridiculous.

It's not just me. The pups and I were walking today and we noticed at least one house that had their decorations up. I get the need to start shopping earlier but, really...decorations? Really? It's quite hard to understand when it's a balmy 65 degrees out, the trees are still quite leafy- albeit splendours in their autumn colours and there are still tomatoes on the vines.

Ah well...I'm sure in a couple of weeks, I'll be contemplating putting my decorations up too...I suppose it doesn't matter really what the date is, does it? When you're ready to start celebrating Christmas, you're ready to start celebrating Christmas...I think I just need to stop fighting it.

It doesn't mean I'm going to go into full panic mode though...not yet, anyway. There's still plenty of time...as long as I keep telling myself that, I'll be fine.

Right?

Happy Monday!

Having a Growl...

2011-11-03T12:55:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those days where I realized I was a foul-tempered beast right as I got into work. I was fine when I got up this morning. I was tired and quite comfy in bed and not really in the mood to get up but, as I do every morning, I got up anyway. As usual, I got up just in time for “Fox 19 Stormtracker Weather” which was actually right for once. As usual, I got dressed and then let the pups out.

As usual, I went to do my normal bathroom routine and the pups came back inside and watched me the whole time, waiting for their morning treat. As usual, I made my tea- pumpkin spice this morning- and headed to work.

Then I got to the office and realized I was in the mood to throw things at people. It wasn’t even like they were doing anything worthy of me throwing things at them. It was just that it was one of those days when I really, really was not in the mood to be in the office.

It didn’t help that I’d worked a little late last night trying to lure in a candidate for a job that, based on his resume, would be a great fit for him. I got him excited about the job. I got him to fill out the required paperwork. I was happy that I’d finally found someone for the job who actually fit. Then I discovered that he had actually worked for us before at the same client site where I wanted to place him. Not to worry- that doesn’t mean much since it was six years ago and he seemed to have left on good terms. In addition, during the six years afterwards, he’s garnered a ton of experience and was far stronger than he was when he left the job.

Still, I thought I better check with the hiring manager, just in case there was a reason they didn’t want him back.

Sure enough, the email we got in response to my inquiry is that they had no interest in him. There was no explanation. He even still has references from the company. I was irritated. It’s fine if he’d done something bad, you know, like stabbed one of his coworkers, brought down the entire system or stolen a ton of money. However, all I could discover was that, at the time, he didn’t have the experience they needed so they didn’t renew his contract.

So, that didn’t help my mood. There’s nothing like investing a lot of time into a project only to realize it’s been a complete waste of time.

Thus, I found myself declining into Foul Tempered Beast territory. I’ve been surly and irritated all day long. My coworkers have been irritating me even though they’re doing nothing different to usual. I’m just not in the mood to listen to them laugh and joke around. Also, the new boy is irritating me because he’s cocky and arrogant and likes to try to steal my candidates. Also, it was dark and rainy all afternoon and all I really wanted to do was go home and curl up with the pups.

Instead, I have a meeting to go to tonight for work. It’s part of our extra-curricular attempts to network. I’m not excited. It’s a two hour meeting. It’s two hours when I could be playing “Angry Birds”, writing or do something completely non-work related. On the plus side, I don’t have to go alone- one of my coworkers is meeting me there. It’s just not what I feel like doing on a cold, rainy bad-moody evening.

I think perhaps if I walked around the office and had a good growl it might help. I do that at home sometimes. Growling is fun. Some people find it a little odd that I growl but it’s actually quite a good way to make yourself feel a little better. It’s more fun if I growl at the pups because this inevitably leads to them trying to jump on me and doing their little cute grumble-growls but it’s also fun to do it when you’re simply having a bad day. The only problem is that as I’m still trying to keep up the façade that I’m not a weirdo, I can’t do it when my coworkers are around.

Ah well, I will have a good growl on the way to the meeting tonight. That should help. Also, tomorrow is Friday and that’s a good way to make sure that tomorrow is not a Foul Tempered Beast Day. Fridays are good days by default, I find.

And, if it’s not, I shall simply have a growl. Oh, go on…try it. It works….trust me.

Happy Friday!

Goodbye Halloween, Hello..Christmas?

2011-11-01T16:43:00.000-07:00

So, apparently now, the minute Halloween is finished, it becomes completely acceptable to embrace Christmas, according to both the radio and TV.

This is not a surprise and it’s not even the first time I’ve complained about it. After all, the Christmas merchandise has slowly been creeping in for weeks now and co-habiting with the Halloween merchandise. Poor Thanksgiving is relegated to a meager area of pilgrims, turkeys and leaves.

No, I’m talking about full-on, Christmas promotional assault. I’ve already seen one commercial on TV today for Christmas merchandise and I only had my TV for the 25 minutes it takes me to get ready in the morning. To be fair, I didn’t actually see the commercial as much as heard “Jingle Bells” and cringed. Then, two separate radio commercials were about Christmas sales. Different companies, same annoying Christmas song- Jingle Bells.

Now, generally, I’m not opposed to “Jingle Bells.” It’s a good song to caterwaul as you’re driving home on a cold winters night in early to mid December. It’s actually very satisfying to sing especially very loudly and very enthusiastically. It’s just that it is currently November the first. The day after Halloween. It’s too early to be assaulted with the bastardized versions of Jingle Bells that have their lyrics changed to advertise something.

While I accept that Halloween is, in fact over, it was only a mere 24 hours ago that I was putting away the trick or treat candy bowl. By this time, I had realized that I was not going to have the onslaught of sugar-hungry children that I had last year and would have a lot left over so during the quiet periods, I found myself habitually hoarding the Kit-Kats and Twix’s and swapping them out of my bowl with Airheads and Lemonheads. Yes, I’m that person. And yes, I did give some chocolate away but when you realize you bought a metric ton of candy and ended up only giving away half the metric ton, measures must be taken. I knew I’d end up taking the bag to my office. I work with a lot of sugar-addicted office-mates who are always on the lookout for chocolate and sugary goodness. They prefer the chocolate. I do too and while I try not to snack too much at work, it is rather nice to have a mini Kit-Kat when I really want some chocolate.

I was rather disappointed in the trick or treat-ers this year. I was also disappointed in my neighbourhood. I live on a street with a lot of houses. From my porch, I could see only four houses giving out candy. The rest were obviously dark, porch lights off and disinterested. Now, while I know the economy is bad, giving out candy or Halloween goodies of a non-sugary kind is traditional. There are ways to participate without spending a ton of money.

The kids who were trick or treating weren’t as plentiful as last year. I’m a sucker for a toddler in a cute costume so I tend to give extra candy to the ladybugs, bumblebees and Strawberry Shortcakes who come to my door. I also like creativity and cleverness so I reward those kids too. In fact, pretty much any kid in a costume is welcome at my door.

The problem is that last night, there were an awful lot of kids not in costume at my door. In fact, they really weren’t even kids at all. They were teenagers who must have been fifteen or sixteen. They didn’t have Halloween buckets or bags. They didn’t even have pillowcases. They had backpacks and gymbags which they were clearly carrying already, not for the purpose of trick or treating. There were quite a few of them. They travelled in packs. Since I had a ton of candy and not as many kids, I gave them all one piece of candy each. I shouldn’t have done because it’s rewarding ‘bad’ behaviour but since I didn’t want to cause a fuss, I figured it wouldn’t hurt. The one that really made me question her was a girl who opened up her Louis Vuitton purse for me to drop a Tootsie Roll in.

It was a real Louis Vuitton purse too. Believe it or not, I can spot the difference after several years living in L.A. and being surrounded by knockoffs. Now, why is a girl who is carrying a Louis Vuitton purse and high heels begging for free candy?

Still, she got a Tootsie Roll from me. Tootsie Rolls are my passive-aggressive way of being mean to people. I know it’s twisted logic because the recipient might actually like Tootsie Rolls but I find them rather unappealing. They’re one of my least favourite sugary treats. I only had them because they were in a mixed bag of candy I bought.

I actually do have a system for handing out candy. If I think they really embraced the whole dressing up for Halloween thing and they look good, they are eligible for a Reese’s Cup, Twix, Starburst or Kit-Kat. This is the cream of the chocolate crop as far as my opinion of Halloween Candy goes. I’m actually not a Reese’s cup fan but the way the kids were bickering over who got the “Reesy Cup” made me realize they were quite the prize. Next comes the Snickers and the Almond Joys which I will eat if hungry but will not seek out. These go to the kids who made a good effort but I can’t figure out what they’re dressed as or they are dressed in a store-bought superhero costume. It is too easy to buy a superhero costume. I think a little more effort should be made. Following this comes the Lemonheads and the Airheads which are not my favourite candy but there were a lot of them. I give these to the kids who are wearing a Jason mask or a Scream mask without the rest of the costume. Finally, comes the Tootsie Rolls which I give to the kids who didn’t bother wearing a costume and just want free candy.

Yes, I’m a meanie and I have a weird system but when you’re sitting at the door for two hours, playing “Angry Birds” while waiting for kids to come ask for candy, there’s a lot of downtime to think about these things. The pups tried to keep me entertained but even they got bored between trick or treat-ers. Sookie barked at them but most of the time both she and Rory were just curious and they got so many “Aww! WEINER DOGS!!!” yells of delight that they eventually ran outside to get away.

Still, by the time I put the candy bowl away even with the plethora of uncostumed teens, I had a lot of sweets left in my bowl. I slid them into a bag to bring to work and called it a night as far as Halloween festivities went. I figured that it was another Halloween past and another year of being completely wrong in my estimation of how much candy I would need.

Still, even though I knew Halloween was over this morning, it did feel a little wrong to be carrying the leftover candy to work while being serenaded by several different versions of “Jingle Bells”. I’m sure that over the next few weeks, it’ll be a full onslaught of Christmas advertisements. While I do enjoy the holiday season, I do think it might be a little better to wait until people have had a chance to put away the Halloween pumpkins before they think they’re supposed to get out the trees, giant inflatable snowmen and all of the trimmings.

At least let Thanksgiving have a chance first!

Happy Wednesday.

A Learning Kind of Weekend

2011-10-30T12:15:00.000-07:00

This has been another fast-flying weekend. It seems like it was just Friday evening and now, already, I have to think about what to wear for work tomorrow.

Still, it has been a good weekend. It's actually been a good weekend for learning. I think probably every weekend is a good weekend for learning but this one in particular has been quite education.

For example, I learned that Possibly-Joe is actually named Matt. This is good because I know longer have to awkwardly stumble around trying to figure out what his name is without having to ask. I learned his name from his mother who I met this weekend. It's rather a relief, let me tell you.

I also learned that carving pumpkins can cause bruises. I spent Friday night having a lovely 'Pumpkin Night'. This involved my annual tradition of watching the first "Harry Potter" film while carving my pumpkins. I also made curried pumpkin soup for dinner which I served in a mini pumpkin as my bowl and drank a pumpkin martini- a 'pumpkintini', if you will. Normally, I drink pumpkin beer but I'm having a hard time finding any this year so I tried something different. Anyway, I carved three pumpkins. By the end of the night, the sides of my wrist and forearm were sore from where I had constantly rubbed them on the rim of the pumpkin while scooping out the insides. When I woke up on Saturday, I had some bruises. I found this quite entertaining actually- I do scrape and scoop my pumpkins with vigor.

I also learned that if you suspect a movie is going to be silly, you probably shouldn't pay $7.50 to see it. I went to see "Paranormal Activity 3". I only went to see it because the first one inspired me to write "The Reluctant Demon" and I felt like since I'd seen the other two, I should see the third one. I find those movies a little like going on a roller coaster- they make you jump and build up the anticipation but when you leave, you sort of wonder why you went on it in the first place. By the way, I'm probably going to spoil the film so if you want to see it and not get spoiled, you can skip ahead in the blog. Part 3 certainly had some of those "boo!" moments where it made me jump but I'm actually a little sad the filmmakers felt compelled to explain why the demon was haunting the girls. I have complained in the past that the demons in movies do all sorts of things to scare the homeowners/people around them but it seems a little silly- why not get to killing the people if that's their end goal? Why rearrange furniture, slam doors or run around in the attic? In the case of "Paranormal Activity 3", some vague witchy explaination is given for what the demon wants and you realize it's chosen it's hauntees on purpose. Yet, naturally, it does a lot of door slamming, running around and peculiar things with sheets. This particular demon also manifests itself an imaginary friend to a little girl. His name is Toby. Toby is apparently very old and tall according to the little girl. Yet, in a scene in the movie, the demon is caught on camera creeping up on a babysitter with a sheet over itself- a bit like Caspar the Friendly Ghost. The camera is mounted on a fan so that it osciallates so in one room, you see the "ghost" and then when the camera oscillates back around, the "ghost" has moved behind the babysitter and then, "poof!" the demon vanishes and the sheet tumbles to the ground.

The thing is, the "ghost" is not taller than a child. I'm sorry but if a demon is only four feet tall, is it really that scary? It should have been a taller "ghost". Also, I learned that if you're a man that likes to videotape things because you have a demon in your house, you're going to get killed by Katie Featherstone- she's the girl from all of the "Paranormal Activities". She's now killed three photographers.

So, overall, I learned that if my instinct is that a film is not going to be good, I should probably just rent it because otherwise I'll always be annoyed that I didn't listen to my instincts better.

Finally, I learned that this song I keep hearing on the radio and getting stuck in my head is called "Pumped up Kicks" by Foster the People. I don't even know if I like the song- all I know is that it gets stuck in my head terribly. I originally thought it was "all the other kids like thier bomb bomb daddies" (don't ask where that came from, that's just what I kept thinking they said. Then I thought it was "all the other kids like their pumped up kitties". Yes, that is a true statement. Now I know they're actually saying "pumped up kicks" but I'm not sure what that means. I have a vision of those shoes from a few years ago that you used to pump up by pushing a 'button' the the tongue of the shoe. That's probably not what they mean but I'm too lazy to google it. I don't particularly like having that song stuck in my head but I suppose it's good to know the actual lyrics.

I'm sure I learned many more things but these are the big lessons. I bet you thought I was going to say I learned something meaningful, didn't you? I probably did but it's not coming to mind at the moment. Thus, I'll stick with the valuable facts that I have, in fact, learned this weekend.

Now it's winding down but there's still time to learn something else new... I'll keep you posted. Happy Monday!

But I Don't Want to Exercise!

2011-10-27T17:20:00.000-07:00

It is far more difficult to eat healthily once it stops being nice and warm outside, I find. All year, I’ve been working to try to lose weight and minimize how much ‘bad food’ I eat. I’ve done well so far this year. When you have a mission to lose a certain amount of weight, that mission must be completed- at least in my case.

By the time summer came around, I’d hit my ‘goal’ weight and decided to keep going. It was easy during the summer because it’s hot outside and fresh veggies are plentiful. It’s easy to want a salad when the sun is shining and the ingredients are fresh.

However, now it’s autumn and the fresh vegetables are less fresh. The stores and markets are full of root vegetables and hearty ingredients. When it’s cold and rainy outside, it’s hard to want something light and healthy. It’s much more comforting to settle down with a bowl of beef stew or a nice warming soup.

The problem with this is that beef stew and nice warming soups while not unhealthy are not as light in calories or fat as summer foods. Also, I find that I’m hungrier when it’s cold. This is probably not really the case. It’s probably more that there’s more sitting around and less activity going on than there is in the summer months when I’m constantly outside doing something.

I suppose the answer is that I should start actually exercising rather than using normal every day activities to exercise. This way I wouldn’t have to worry so much about what I’m eating. It’s an easy solution in theory and one many of my friends have incorporated. It’s just that…well, honestly, I don’t like exercising. There, I said it. Once I start doing it and get into a routine, it’s not so bad. I even convince myself that I like it. It feels good. I know it gets the endorphins going. Yet, it’s so easy to…stop. I know the saying goes that it takes 21 days to form a habit and 3 days to break one. I think this is absolutely true. Which is why whenever I start exercising, it’s easy to stop.

For me, it’s a question of time. As I’ve grown older, I’ve become far less patient with wasting my time. It’s in short supply. When you work 9 hours a day, every moment is precious. I am not a Monkeypants who doesn’t need sleep. I need my sleep badly. I have two dogs. They don’t understand why their mother is leaping around in front of the TV breathing heavily and is all red in the face. I’ve tried doing an exercise video in front of them and it results in them trying to join in which, while cute, is not terribly helpful.

I could gate them in the kitchen but, well, I’m softhearted and I feel bad doing that unless necessary.

I could go to the gym but between trying to get back into writing, having an uncertain workday (I never know what time I’m going to get to leave) and liking to cook something decent for dinner….there’s the time factor. I could do it before work but…I’ll have to talk myself into that.

It would probably be easier if I had a buddy to exercise with rather than alone. I might be inclined to do it but, as I’ve pathetically mentioned, I don’t have many friends here because all my friends are elsewhere. It’s hard to meet female friends.

So, for now, until I come up with an exercise resolution, I’ll keep trying to eat less. It’s really just an issue of self-control. I figure that if I stay at my goal weight, I’m ok…anything above and an exercise routine WILL be enforced.

I’m actually quite good at enforcing rules upon myself. It sounds a little odd but I do have rather good self-control. It’s why I can sit in my office with a bucket of candy and just watch as everyone else in the office eats it or I can go out to lunch for a working lunch and make sure I don’t order the pizza that looks so tempting and I order a nice light bowl of soup and a salad instead. I am the consumer who reads the nutrition label. I might splurge once in a while but, well, I try not to on a regular basis.

It’s just a little harder in the cooler months of the year when comfort food is calling and I would rather eat a nice bowl of hot stew than a salad. However, the good thing is that I still like salad and even though I’d rather have the stew, I know when to eat the salad instead and, even if I don’t, I’ll just contemplate finding time to exercise and that salad is more appealing.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t exercise. I walk the pups a lot. I do a lot of work outside and I do on occasion use my ab roller. According to my calorie count software program, I actually burn as many calories on an average weekend doing my normal activities as I would if I did cardio. My last doctor’s visit rule me very healthy with a low BP and everything so, for now, I’m good.

And, yes, this is really my way of justifying the guilt I feel by not having a regular exercise program. But I will think about it.

After all, thinking is exercise for the brain, isn’t it?

Happy Friday- have a great weekend!

The Halloween Decorating Police Game

2011-10-25T18:27:00.001-07:00

I can’t believe it’s almost Halloween already. I mean that in more of a figurative way than a literal way. If I meant it literally, I’d be lying because the Halloween decorations began creeping into stores in early September and my neighbourhood has slowly become one long string of “who has the best fake cemetery” and “Who can hang the most ghosts, zombies, skeletons and Frankenstein’s Monsters from their porch.”

Also, there are the giant inflatables. I remember when they started popping up. It used to be just for Christmas. The first one I saw was pretty nifty- it was a giant snowglobe with a polar bear in it and a fan blew the snow around. Then they became more popular and there were trains with waving penguins and santas, reindeer popping out of presents and variations on the giant snowglobe theme.

Then, of course, they stopped being just for Christmas and giant Easter bunnies began cropping up. There were giant turkeys for Thanksgiving and, of course, the Halloween versions. The Halloween versions are actually exactly the same as the Christmas versions except there are ghosts and pumpkins instead of santas and reindeer. Oh, and they’re orange and black instead of green and red. I even saw the “Halloween on a train” inflatable yesterday. Do ghosts and ghouls really ride trains and wave at people? I think not.

I prefer the more gruesome Halloween decorations myself. Someone in my neighbourhood has decorated their cemetery as a crime scene. There are fake evidence numbers scattered around bloody body parts which seem to stick out of the ground. Naturally, I find this quite funny. Hey, if you haven’t figured out I’m a little dark and twisted yet, you clearly haven’t read enough of my blogs. I especially appreciate the touch that they have a decaying corpse watching over the entire scene and he looks disturbingly real.

I enjoy this time of year. It makes walking the pups in the evening even more fun. Our neighbourhood is clustered into batches. There are Those Who Decorate and Those Who Do Not Decorate. If one house decorates, those around it tend to at least place some token decorations outside. Then we’ll walk for a stretch into an area of Those Who Do Not Decorate. These are the boring houses. As daft as it sounds, I like to mentally grade houses on their efforts. It serves no purpose other than to allow myself a little extra amusement while the pups sniff and scamper their way on our walks.

My grading system is easy. A house gets points for efforts. If it’s a really well done decorating job, they get top marks. If they’ve at least made an effort, we take that into consideration. If not effort is made, they FAIL. Nothing much happens except I whisper to the pups that “We have a FAIL on our hands, girls!” They pay no attention to me because there are squirrels to chase and, frankly, when there are squirrels to be chased, a quirky ‘mother’/’owner’ is really not important enough to merit paying any attention.

I’m very generous with my points though. Even if a house has a mere single pumpkin on the porch, they get to scrape a ‘pass’ from me. I mean it’s something. We do take chrysanthemums into consideration too since they are a traditional autumn flower. If a house has a spectacular display of mums that was clearly planted with love and attention, we give them a pass. If they have a token dying chrysanthemum in their flower garden that’s clearly an afterthought, they don’t necessarily pass.

It’s a silly game but I enjoy it. One of my favourite houses is the one where the little old lady has a toy cat in the window and she dresses it in little outfits for the seasons. It has Easter bunny ears, an Uncle Sam hat and now it has a witches hat and cape. She also has a lovely display of Jack o’ Lanterns and some pretty mums. She gets high marks. It’s all about the effort and there’s bonus points for cuteness. I’m not a cat person but I adore her stuffed toy cat because you can tell she has fun with it and what’s life if you can’t have a little fun with it?

I also play the game at Christmas too although it’s usually a little colder and harder to linger. I like to grade the Christmas displays. I know that’s not politically correct because not everyone celebrates and there may be a reason there isn’t a shimmering display of Christmas lights out front but this is why I only grade the houses that do participate. Also, we grade on indoor decorations too so if there’s a particularly pretty tree inside the house but no outdoor decorations, it’s pretty obvious they’re celebrators of Chrismas and it’s ok to grade them.

I am aware that this is probably a peculiar habit and there’s absolutely no point at all. I have visualized forming a squad of Decorating Police but I think I’d be the only member and it would be rather odd to walk up to people and say, “By the way, your scarecrows are dirty and leaking straw. I think it’s time to get some new ones. Also, you have too many ghosts and not enough zombies.” It would be sort of entertaining but as I always say, I do like to keep up some attempt of normalcy with my neighbours.

Halloween is only the beginning. There will be some giant inflatable turkeys popping up over the next few weeks and they will soon be succeeded by all manner of holiday inflatables and lights. I have to admit, I’m looking forward to it. Walking with the dogs is always a nice way to get out and about but it’s even more fun when I can play Undercover Decorating Police.

Happy Wednesday!

Food, Fun and Pumpkins!

2011-10-23T16:52:00.000-07:00

It's another Sunday evening with the start of the work week looming closer. It has also been another great weekend.

I spent the weekend at my parents. It was a beautiful autumnal weekend with only a minor chill in the air. The pups had a great time hunting grasshoppers and crickets. I haven't quite figured out if they actually eat the insects or they just like the stalking and hunting part. I've seen them..sort of chew on them but I don't think they actually eat them. I'd prefer to think they don't anyway.

One of the other things I got to do with my parents is go to a local-ish butcher shop. I say local-ish because it's not in their town but is only abour 25 minutes away. It's sort of in the middle of nowhere but it's immensely popular and the meat is great. It's all fresh and butchered in-house. It's also very reasonably priced. It gave me a chance to stock up my little chest freezer with meat that will last several months. I like doing that- it makes cooking fun because there are so many options and I always have meat on hand with which to make something interesting. I'm a big fan of stocking up, especially when I ended up buying probably 20 meals worth of meat for less than $30.

It's fun to go to the butchers and select my purchases. When I was a child in England, we had a local butcher that was at the end of a parade of shops which also featured a greengrocer, post office, newsagent and small grocery store. Back then, while there were big grocery shops, people still went to specialty shops for most of their daily purchases. There was still a milk man who delivered the milk.

It wasn't that long ago, honestly but times have changed. Nowadays both in England and the states, the specialty stores don't exist the same way anymore. If they do, they're novelties. In my opinion, it's a shame. While it's way easier to go to the local supermarket for one-stop grocery shopping, it's just not the same. Bread from the bakery in England was so fresh, it was often still a little warm when you got it and it was so crusty, it was flaky. The fresh cream cakes such as chocolate eclairs and filled buns were fresh and unique. The produce from the greengrocer was better than supermarket fruits and vegetables because that's what the greengrocer did. He didn't try to sell produce AND dairy or meat or cheese...he specialized in fresh veggies and fruits.

The world moves faster now. We want to go to one place and get everything we need. We don't want to spend hours running around to butchers, to bakers, to candlestick makers to complete a list.

Yet...something has been lost in our need for convenience and speed. I miss the smell of the old butcher shops, their floors covered in sawdust. I miss the bakers where the fresh smell of crusty bread called you inside before you even got to the store. Sure, there are still speciality shops around. I mean, the farmers market is, essentially and outdoor greengrocers. Yet...it's not quite the same. I think that's why I'm so drawn to markets in general- Findlay Market here in Cincinnati is one of my favourite places because it's essentially a series of specialty stores all under one roof. In New York, I instantly loved Chelsea Market for the same reason. It's the same reason I loved the butchers shop I went to with my parents. Speciality stores do still exist- it's just not quite as easy to get to them.

I'm partial to butchers shops. I know that's probably not very politically correct to vegetarians and I know that Peta would probably have something to say to me about it but, well, I'm a foodie. I adore vegetables and making vegetable dishes but it's hard to be a real foodie without eating meat. There are so many possibilities when you have different meat on hand- it allows creativity to shine through and to just have fun in both the planning and preparation of a meal.

So, even though it sounds a little odd, going to the butchers with my parents was just a great way to spend time with them and it was just plain fun.

Of course, I didn't just spend the weekend in a butchers shop and watching my dogs chase crickets. I also got to spend some quality time with my sister and my niece. We carved pumpkins. Well, that is to say, I carved, they painted. My niece is an abstract artist and I've never seen such a colourful pumpkin in all my life. I think Jackson Pollock would have been impressed. My sister is a far more disciplined artist and she adorned her pumpkin with a rather impressive Halloween collage of witches and ghosts. My pumpkin turned out rather well- it turns out that there is a reason that they sell pumpkin carving kits. They're great! All this time, I've made do with a selection of knives and trying to draw on a design. However, with the right tools, carving is much easier! Since I gave my pumpkin to my niece for her Halloween display, I'll be carving more of my own next weekend. It's one of my favourite Halloween traditions- I always watch "Harry Potter" while I carve and then roast the seeds. It's a lovely autumn tradition.

All in all, this has been the best kind of autumn weekend- family, fun and food...it's a shame as always that the weekend is ending but when it's been as good as this one, I don't mind as much.

I hope you had a great weekend too. Happy Monday!

The Other Side of Autumn

2011-10-20T17:54:00.000-07:00

Well, we finally got the rain that was threatening us the last time I blogged. It’s pretty much been raining steadily ever since. I don’t mind although it’s a little colder than I expected. I even had to turn on the heat this morning since the pups and I were on the verge of shivering. I had the two of them curled up next to me under the covers last night since it was so chilly- they don’t like their noses to be cold. I’ve noticed they’re a lot cuddlier in the cooler months than in the summer.

It’s definitely another side to Autumn, this weather. Instead of getting to walk through the crisp, multicoloured fallen leaves, we get to see them pounded flat against the pavement in soggy clumps.

I don’t mind the rain though. It gives me an excuse to stay inside, put my pajamas on a little earlier than normal and curl up on the couch with the dogs. They’ve accepted there will be no walks in the rain. While it wouldn’t kill us to go out in the wetness, we all prefer not to if we can avoid it. Rory, especially, dislikes getting wet. She runs outside and then, when she realizes she’s getting wet, she quickly runs back to shelter and looks at me as if to say, “What on earth did you DO?”

It is supposed to stop raining this weekend though. I’m hoping to spend the weekend doing splendid autumn things with my family. My sister mentioned a pumpkin patch but our backup plan is pumpkin carving or something equally Halloweeny at home just in case it’s still raining. Also, her rather odd looking puppy had to have surgery this week to correct a problem with her legs and the poor thing is immobile at the moment so we may have to stay home with her. I don’t mind. I think I can be in the autumn spirit if we go out or not.

Still, before the weekend, there’s a Friday to get through. They’re usually pretty quiet around here. People tend to leave early or find an excuse to be out of the office. I’d like to skedaddle a little early to be able to get on the road to my parents a little early. I’m don’t mind driving in the dark but it makes for a long day now the days are getting shorter. I’m actually looking forward to the clocks changing though- it would be rather nice to get up in the morning and have it not still be dark out there. At the moment when my alarm goes off at 6:45 a.m., it still looks like nighttime and trying to persuade two slumbering dachshunds that it really is time to get out of bed is proving difficult. Sookie doesn’t mind so much but for the past several mornings, I’m greeted with loud groans from Rory who refuses to move until she’s ready.

I actually don’t mind the clocks changing so much in the autumn because we get an extra hour of sleep and that’s never a bad thing. Spring is harder because we lose sleep and I’m a Monkeypants who needs her sleep. Even though I think we really don’t need to change the clocks, the extra hour in the Fall is like Autumns way of giving us a little present- a way of saying “Here, have an extra hour to do something with- you can use it for anything but I recommend sleep!”

I know I’ve been waxing poetical about Autumn in a lot of my blogs lately but for me, it’s that time of year. The world slows down a little and starts to die back readying itself for Winters season of recharge and recuperation. There’s colour everywhere. Suddenly the idea of a bowl of hot soup sounds much more appealing than a caprese salad which, only a month before, was a summer treat.

The rainy days we’re dealing with are simply another side of Autumn. It can’t all be crisp leaves, bonfires and balmy breezes. Winter, after all, is coming and Autumn is simply guiding us into that season as gently as she knows how with a little taste of it here and there until finally, she’s ready to step aside and let Winter have his say.

For now, though, Winter is still in the wings and I’m hoping we have quite a few more crisp leaf-apple cider days to go.

We’ll just have to wait and see.

Happy Friday!

Beef Stew Kinds of Days

2011-10-18T17:17:00.000-07:00

This is definitely a blah day as far as days go. It’s the type of day which has been grey and gloomy with the promise of rain but the rain hasn’t actually arrived yet. The weather keeps telling us it’s going to arrive but we’re in the nether area where the sun has abandoned us and the rain is yet to fall.

It’s really what I like to call a beef stew kind of day which is why I’m having beef stew for dinner.

Beef stew days are gloomy days where nothing really fabulous happens and it seems like everyone’s under their own little dark cloud. In our office, we’re having a wee bit of stress regarding finding candidates- we have the jobs but no one to fill them- so everyone’s a little bit tense. Also, it’s still close to the beginning of the week which means people are still in a bit of a post-weekend funk.

Beef stew days are days where the idea of going home, curling up on the couch with your cuddly object of choice (mine are my dachshund pups- Sookie and Rory but yours might be a cat, person or stuffed animal depending on your preference), putting on a favourite film or TV show and eating a big bowl of beef stew.

Unless, of course, you’re a vegetarian and you don’t eat beef so then you might want something like macaroni and cheese. Or tomato soup.

Unless of course you’re a vegan and you don’t eat dairy so you might choose to eat a bowl of watery-er tomato soup (because, let’s face it, it’s WAY better with real milk) or you might eat, uh, a bowl of…lentils? Rice? Sorry….I respect vegans for their dietary choices but I don’t think I’m mentally capable of being one and, honestly, have no desire to so thus, I’m not as familiar with vegan comfort foods as I could be.

Anyway, you get my point. Today is a comfort food type of day. I still prefer to call it a beef stew kind of day. You can substitute your comfort food of choice re: the above babbling.

I like beef stew. I didn’t when I was younger. In fact, I was quite opposed to all ‘gravy dinners’. Just ask my poor mother who worked hard to make sure I had something on the plate I liked. ‘Gravy dinners’ to me, as a child in England, were things like beef casserole, liver and bacon (which, by the way, is still a big ‘yuck’ to me now) and mince and gravy (I don’t think there’s an American equivalent of this but essentially it’s hamburger that is simmered in a thick beef gravy and served with either mashed potatoes (traditional) or noodles (I think that’s my family’s German twist on it). I hated mince. I liked the noodles. My grandmother would make her version but she’d make it a little different and I loved it. My mother may still hold a grudge about that.

Regardless, I did not like gravy dinners as a child. I preferred dinners with chips (french fries), baked potatoes or anything fried. Also, I preferred ‘non dinners’ such as beans on toast, bacon sandwiches or bread and cheese. It wasn’t that I refused to eat them because otherwise I’d have been hungry. I just would pick at them. Until we got a microwave, I’d have to eat mashed potatoes which I only recently have started liking, if you can believe that. I used to use the mashed potato in which to bury the unwanted components of my meal. I used to try to make it look like I simultaneously had eaten some of my mashed potato and also that I hadn’t buried pieces of liver in it. I know liver is good for you but the texture was and is vile to me. Also, it smelled funny. Then again, I used to think lasagna smelled like vomit and now I’m a huge fan of anything like that so…things do change as a child.

Anyhow, I don’t think my mashed potato reverse-excavations were really that successful. I’m pretty sure my mother knew that I was hiding my food. When we did get a microwave, my mother would kindly make me a baked potato instead of the mashed so I would, at least, have something on the dinner plate that I liked. Yes, I am from a generations where microwaves were actually once a new technology and yes, I know this makes me sound old.

I disliked gravy dinners a lot. Including beef stew which, really, was the same as beef casserole. It was just cooked in a different dish.

The, as I’ve mentioned before, somewhere in my late teens, my tastebuds changed. Either that or as a constantly-hungry college student/summer intern, I realized that eating something was better than being hungry and I started eating different things.

Now, I’m a foodie and I am far more open. I even eat gravy dinners now. I often make mincemeat and gravy with noodles on cooler days. That’s a good comfort food. I even make beef stew as I did for tonight. I serve it on my terms- i.e. no mashed potatoes with it. Instead, I prefer a nice piece of crusty bread. It’s actually quite healthy too because of the large amount of veggies in it. It was simmering in the crockpot all day, ready for me to come home to on this gloomy, grey day. It’s a nice, thick, bowl of comfort that’s easily made and left to its own devices as it simmers its way to readiness.

It’s the perfect antidote to a blah day where not much happens and even the rain is dithering on whether it wants to come down or not.

Yep, this has definitely been a beef stew sort of day.

Happy Wednesday!

Outdoor Sort of Weekends...

2011-10-16T12:59:00.000-07:00

This has been a beautiful autumn weekend. The weather has been warm with a cool wind and the sun has been shining. It's the kind of weather that makes you feel guilty for staying indoors.

Thus, I tried not to stay indoors. I spent much of the time with the girls outside. I took them for a long walk on Saturday over the park. We haven't been there since the spring- our last visit was after we'd had floods and it was a wet soggy mess. Soon after, the weather got too hot to walk for too long outside and so this was our first trip back for a while.

It was the perfect time for walking. I've found that the woods where we walk (aka, the park) is far less busy on Saturdays than Sundays. I think this is because most people use Saturdays for productivity and Sundays for relaxation.

Thus, we had the woods mostly to ourselves. We did our usual trek. It was a wonderful hike- the leaves were thick enough to crunch under our feet but the ground was dry enough that we didn't slip at all. Autumn was all around us as we walked.

I was a little apprehensive because Rory has become a little, uh, lazy since the spring. As I've mentioned, she has a penchant for sitting down when she's had enough. Still, since the weather has cooled, she hasn't sat down for a while so I was hopeful.

Well, we made it 3/4 of the way through our trek and then she dug her heels in and didn't want to walk anymore. Sookie was fine. After trying to coax her to keep moving, I eventually gave in and ended up carrying her for a little way. This seemed to appease her and shortly after, she began walking again, albeit a little more slowly.

By the time we were done, both dogs and I were all rather tired but happy. It was a windy day and there's nothing more refreshing than a long walk on a breezy autumn day.

As for today, I spent the majority of the day outside. It's coming time to winterize the garden and though many of my flowers are still in bloom, I decided to clean out my shed and clear off the patio. It's a little sad but it's also nice to know that I've accomplished something. I spent the rest of the afternoon weeding and trimming back the overgrown areas. In a couple of weeks, I'll start pulling up the flowers as they die back but for now, it's nice to see that the flowers aren't ready to give up yet.

I love weekends like this where I have no set agenda but have a flexible 'to do' list. I think since it is such a lovely day, I shall try to finish it off outside. The days are already getting shorter so I'll try to catch the sunshine while it's there.

Even though it's back to work tomorrow, I'm still forever grateful that we get two days a week away from the normal drudgery of the work day. I even like my job and I'm still happy to get away for a couple of days. This week, especially, is a big week for me as it's the year anniversary of when I left my old job that made me unhappy and started this one which has been significantly better. Obviously, no job is perfect but I'm pretty pleased with mine.

Still, before the work week starts all over, there's a few more hours of my autumnal weekend to enjoy. The breeze is still blowing and the sun is still shining...I've said it before and I'll say it again. I love Autumn!

Thanks, as always for reading and Happy Monday!

Flying Economy: The New Steerage

2011-10-13T16:51:00.000-07:00

So, I have once again decided that I dislike flying. This is nothing new. I’ve blogged about it before. In my novel, Emmy Goes to Hell, I set the entry method to get to Hell at an airport for a reason. I’ve been back from my trip for about 5 days now yet still I’m slightly irked about the steady decline of airline service since I first flew in the 1980’s.

Back then, flying was a treat. It was something exotic. For a kid like me, it was an adventure. They would give out free alcohol to the adults. There were a lot of snacks. The food, never great, was decent and there was a fair amount of it. Airline stewards and stewardesses treated you as though you were a human being. Luggage was something that you could bring and check in and forget about. There was room to sit in a seat with enough space to reach forward and shove something under the seat.

Cut to now. I know airlines have huge budget issues. I know they take huge losses every year. It still doesn’t make it easier to fly and feel a little like you’re a member of a cattle herd.

When I flew to the UK, I had a coach seat because, well, I’m a normal human who simply can’t afford to fly First Class. In the olden days (even up to five years ago), Coach and Economy were the same thing.

Nowadays, there’s not just Economy and Economy Plus. Yes, even the bottom dwellers can get kicked lower.

If you’ve ever seen Titanic you may remember the difference in treatment between the First Class travelers and those in steerage. In between, there were the ordinary people who didn’t have luxury cabins but also weren’t down with the rats in steerage either. Until recently, flying Economy was more like being in this middle section- it was definitely not luxurious but it was functional.

Things have changed now. Steerage class is back. There may not be any rats unless you count the fact that you often feel like you’re treated a bit like one. Economy is the new steerage.

Let me explain. Somewhere in the midst of the airlines starting to struggle for revenue, some bright soul took a look at the layout of the seats in Economy and decided that people did not, in fact, need much legroom and thus added several more rows of seats. This resulted in a traveling experience that made you feel like a sardine. There is little room to lean forward and put your carry-on under the seat without accidentally whacking your heard on the seat in front of you. Merely crossing your legs becomes a bit difficult and I don’t even have very big legs. Bringing down the tray table for an average-sized person is ok- it rests just short of actually hitting you in the abdomen. For larger folks, it often rests on the abdomen.

And then there’s the issue of the reclining seats. Somewhere in this brainchild of taking away the leg-room, they decided that reclining seats should stay. Thus, when the person in front of you reclines their seat, there goes what little room you had left. Even if you put the tray table back up, getting out of your seat to go to the bathroom is rather a difficult thing. There is simply not enough room to squeeze between your seat and the recliner in front of you without feeling like you’re breaking out of a pod of some kind. I was going to use a birthing analogy but decided that would be a little disgusting.

As if this is not humiliating enough, when you get on a plane, they make it perfectly clear that steerage folk (i.e. Economy travelers) are absolutely forbidden to use the bathrooms set aside for the Business Travelers AND the First Class travelers. You must use the bathrooms delegated to your ‘class.’ It’s bad enough that to get to the steerage seats, you have to walk through the cabins of the elite. You see those individual, spaced out little pods where the First Class traveler can fly in comfort, drinking free champagne and getting better food. Even the Business Class is far above steerage- spacy, comfortable seats that provide privacy and comfort. And free champagne.

I’ve never understood that, honestly. Steerage folk can’t even buy champagne on a plane. It’s not offered. We get the choice of red or white wine or a bottle of beer for $7 each. Newsflash: For the most part, those people in First Class are either rich, didn’t pay for their ticket or travel so often they get upgraded and thus, didn’t pay for the upgrade. They can afford to buy the bloody champagne and wine they’re given for free. Also, in their little Pods o’ Flying Comfort, they don’t really need the added tranquilizer for an overnight flight because THEY ARE COMFORTABLE.

Meanwhile, back in steerage, trying to sleep is rather difficult due to the reclined chair in front of you, the fact that you pretty much have to sit with your arms pinned to your sides so you don’t accidentally invade your fellow steerage passenger’s space. Seriously, try sitting with your elbows out a little- you end up bumping your next-door neighbour on one side and, if you’re on the aisle, getting in the way of the drink cart.

To add insult to injury, as I mentioned before, they’ve added Economy Plus. Yes, for a mere $100+, you, too, can buy a little extra space in which you might actually get to put your legs out and have them be semi-straight.

That’s all you get for your $100- the extra leg room. Thus, by First Class standards, it’s still steerage. However, to the Economy Plus traveller, it still affords a little superiority over the less fortunate in Economy who are currently sitting with their knees by their ears, trying to figure out why their video screen keeps going black.

After flying to the UK in an Economy seat, I came to the conclusion that it was one step away from being strapped in the cargo hold as luggage. It’s not that much less comfortable, I’m sure. Sometimes when I was doing aerobic contortions trying to get my bag from under the seat while the person in front of me had reclined and the attendants forgot to pick up the rubbish from our dinner plates, I thought longingly of the days when there was space to do that without pulling a muscle. I couldn’t really sleep because I was so uncomfortable- a glass of wine usually helps but at $7 a glass, it’s a little steep.

So, even though I was furious about having to do so, I paid for the Economy Plus seat on the way back. Since my ticket was paid for by my company in the first place, it was a little easier. Sadly, it was worth it. While I didn’t get a free drink and was delegated to going all the way to the back of the plane to use the bathroom, being able to sit somewhat comfortably was worth it.

I resent having to pay $100 for the freedom to cross and uncross my legs but, sadly, I can see why people do it. Also, I felt like I could look back at the lower class in plain old Economy and gloat.

Until I remember that they were probably $100 richer than me because they hadn’t caved to the Lure of Economy Plus.

I’m a sucker…what can I say. I’m a willing victim of the airlines’ attempt to exort every last dollar out of me merely because I wanted to land in Chicago without feeling like I was a cro-magnon cavewoman, bent over and never able to stand up straight again.

I’d love to hope that some day airline travel will be a luxurious experience again but I’m a realist: I say let’s be glad that we can still go to the bathroom on the plane without depositing a coin and that we aren’t put in the cargo hold because the way things are going, it’s only a matter of time.

Also, they still give you some semblance of free food on those international flights. Note: ALWAYS go with the pasta. It may taste like Chef Boyardee but it’s still better than black, gelatinous beef and dried, blobby chicken.

I suppose, for now, we should be thankful for what we have. Us steerage folks may as well appreciate the small perks such as having a seat at all and being fed and watered. It would be nicer if we weren’t herded through the upper class cabins like cattle, shuffling as we avoid getting whacked in the head by someone shoving their luggage in the overhead while watching them calmly and serenely settle into their individual chairs, drinking free champagne and clearly ready for comfort. When we finally reach the Economy Plus section and realize, sadly, that even that isn’t where we belong, it’s just plain pathetic.

Unless, of course, you pay the $100. Then you belong.

Otherwise…you’re just steerage. Ah well, at least there are no rats.

Happy Friday!

Autumn is in Control...

2011-10-11T17:34:00.000-07:00

So, I’ve been back from my trip for three days now, give or take a few hours. I’m still feeling a slight case of jet lag- going to bed isn’t a problem, it’s the waking up at 4 a.m. and not being able to get to sleep that’s a pain. I’m back at work and starting to feel like I’m catching up again. The pups are a little more cuddly than usual- as though they’re afraid I’m going to leave them again. However, for the most part, I’m feeling almost back to normal.

It’s amazing how much things can change when you’re away for ten days. Before I left, Autumn was just starting to creep in and exert her strength over the waning summer. Her paintbrush of colour was just starting to turn the leaves a little but, for the most part, they were all still on the trees.

When I got back, quite a transformation had occurred: A canvas of colour has taken over and the ground is littered with leaves. There are reds, golds, yellows and oranges fighting each other for grandeur in the trees that line my street. The summer flowers, still in bloom when I left, seem to have conceded that they can no longer match the glory of the trees and thus have faded a lot and started to bow their heads in defeat.

I love it. Up and down my street, people have their autumnal decorations out. There are pumpkins, scarecrows, ghosts, graveyards and all sorts of Halloween fun. I did get my own decorations out last night. I don’t do much other than to weave a garland of silk autumn leaves up my little lamppost, put out my autumn flag and line up some small scarecrows.

This time of year is wonderful. We’re still having the warm temperatures of late summer but the crisp, cool nights of Autumn. It’s far too early for Winter to attempt to wrestle control and so things are a warm glow of fall splendor.

I took the girls for a walk last night- our first in a while. They love the leaves on the ground, foraging in the piles to see if they can hunt any living creatures. The most they find is usually a grasshopper. Sookie’s quite partial to grasshoppers and while I know they’re actually quite nutritious, I still prefer to pretend she doesn’t eat them.

It’s nice to walk in the autumn. It’s a little quieter than the summer. The neighbourhood kids still play together but there’s not that manic abandon of summer anymore. The bike riding and trampolining has died down a lot and while they still run up and down, laughing and shouting, it’s not nearly as wild and energized. There are far less people working outside on their gardens. We occasionally passed the odd leaf-blower or raker but mostly, people have started to be indoor folk a little more.

It’s definitely Autumn. There’s no mistake about it anymore. Soon, I’ll get my annual pumpkin(s) and carve them, reserving the seeds for roasting. I’ve already started cooking a little more autumnally: I have an acorn squash to roast as well as a butternut squash with which to make ravioli, hopefully this weekend. I’ll start making more soups and stews before much longer. At the moment, I’m still using the final yield of my tomato crop- plucking the last fresh basil before it turns to seed. Soon, I’ll use more sage and thyme. That’s one of the harder parts of the waning warm weather- no fresh herbs to pick from the garden.

Still, I do enjoy the crunch of the leaves, the vivid colours and the pumpkin-spiced atmosphere of Autumn. Even though there were signs of it over the UK, somewhere between there and here, Autumn really took the reigns of control. It’s a lovely picture to return to and I intend on enjoying every bit of the season.

Happy Wednesday and thanks, as always, for reading!

Homes, Sweet Homes....

2011-10-09T15:23:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm finally back Stateside after 10 days in the UK. Even though the trip back was pretty exhausting (an 18 hour travel day will do that to you), I had a great time.

The trip was essentially two halves for me- the first half was London which was my reward trip from work and the second half was in Essex with my family.

Both halves were fantastic but quite different. London was very lively as cities generally are. Even though the people there are all people who work for our company, they brought their spouses and the whole event did not feel like work at all. It probably helped that the most we had to do for work was one two-hour meeting to discuss ideas for moving the company forward. The rest of the time was spent in more social events as well as free time.

The social events were actually fun. Since we were all essentially there on holiday, it was a very relaxed atmosphere and I had a lot of fun getting to know some of the spouses. I was sort of held up as the resident expert on London and ended up being the translater of all things decidely British (i.e. what's 'rocket'? Answer: Arugula), the converter of currency (i.e. "how much is 52 pounds in American dollars?) and the navigator on the London underground. I didn't mind a bit. I love London and don't mind showing off my knowledge of the city.

The free time we had was fantastic. I got to be a tourist and see things I've never had the time to see such as the Tower of London. I loved it. My rather dark streak gravitates to the more gruesome aspects of British history so seeing the tower where prisoners were kept, the private execution spot, the torture devices and seeing where Henry the Eight's wives were buried was fascinating to me. I also took a trip around the National Gallery, briefly visited Harrods' food Hall and became somewhat of a regular at Fortnum and Mason since it had a fantasic food hall and was only a brief walk from the hotel.

I also got to spend a day with my cousin who I haven't seen in quite a few years. It was lovely to discover that she has also got the same dark streak as me and when she suggested we go to the London Dungeon, I knew that we were definitely related. That place is a lot of fun- it highlights all of the more brutal aspects of British history. I think, by nature, the British do tend to embrace our dark sides a little more and it's not considered quite so twisted to be interested in that stuff when you're there.

Obviously, one of my favourite parts of the whole trip was the food. I abandoned my typical healthy eating/diet and decided to just enjoy myself. Each day, we had access to an amazing breakfast buffet from the hotel which included all the fixings of a traditional full English breakfast as well as kippers, smoked salmon and multiple bread selections. I also got to indulge in lots of my favourite British foods such as sausage rolls, pork pies, fish and chips and, of course, good beer. Fortunately, my terrible eating was counteracted somewhat by the massive amount of walking I did. I seriously think that for the most part, I walked several miles a day which is rather easy to do in London.

All in all, the London part of the trip was wonderful. It was nice being a tourist but not really feeling like one. By the time everyone else left for the airport, I was ready to begin the second half of my trip so after a little drama with Fed Ex- my coworker had left me in charge of a package because she had to catch a plane- I did manage to catch my train two hours late and head to my grandparent's, a mere 35 minutes away.

That part of my trip was far more relaxed. I got to spend the first day and a half with just my granny since my grandad was away in Germany- his native land. It was lovely to just relax in her kitchen- the traditional gathering spot of my grandparents' house since I've been alive. I haven't been back for three years so it was lovely to catch up and feel right at home.

When my grandad came back, he was laden with German goodies such as sausage, bread and chocolate galore. Thus, I got a nice German feast as well as the traditional British food that I normally enjoy.

The only problem with staying with my grandparents is that my granny thinks she needs to feed me. She declared that I was quite thin and could thus stand to eat more. This meant that anytime I sat for more than 10 minutes, I was either offered food or food was placed subtly in front of me. Believe me, I'm not complaining but I do think that now I'm back in the U.S., I'll be calorie counting a lot harder than usual and trying to exercise a little more. I have to make up for all that terrible but wonderful food somehow.

I also got to see more of my cousins as well as my aunts and uncles. I didn't do too much once I hit Essex other than go for walks around the town and once to the neighbourhood where I grew up. It's strange how instantly it seems so familiar and yet seems so distant. Our old house has changed but elements are still the same. I wandered around with that nostalgia that hits when you realize that time moves ever forward. It doesn't seem that long ago when I used to do somersaults on the pole that was a support for the little porch of our house or I used to plant marigolds in a makeshift flowerbed I created in our old front yard. The ghosts of my playmates still hang in the air and walking down the street that was once home made me remember everything so clearly, it actually felt it had all just happened.

It was a good thing to do, that walk. It made me realize that I think no matter how long I stay away, England will always be home. It's in my blood. I wasn't that old when I left but I was old enough to be a person, not just a child and that person was formed by the years spent living in the UK. The U.S. has left it's imprint on me too but at my core, I'm a diehard Brit.

By the time I left on Saturday morning to begin my long journey home, I had managed to do all the things I wanted to do, see all the people I wanted to see and eat all the food I wanted to eat. I left with a sadness that always occurs when you leave a place you love but it was also nice to get home.

It also helps that I had two little furry dachshunds to launch themselves upon me as soon as I walked into my parents house and who've barely left my side since.

In a way, I feel like my trip to the UK took me home. Yet I also came home when I saw my parents at the airport and was assaulted with affection from Sookie and Rory when we were reunited. I think I'll always feel like I have a foot on each continent as long as I'm alive but it's only now when I realize that that's definitely a wonderful thing. I plan on going back a little more often than I have been going.

But...not for a while. I need to do a little dieting first.

Happy Monday and thanks for reading!

Walking and Tripping...

2011-09-25T14:58:00.000-07:00

This will probably be my last blog before I leave for London. Even though I don't leave until Wednesday afternoon, I know myself well enough to know that I will be busy with packing and organizing and trying to prepare for missing eight days of work and won't be able to work in a blog.

Even though the focus of my weekend has been to get ready for my trip, I also managed to participate in the Susan B. Komen Race for the Cure walk on Saturday. Our company president wanted our office to sign up to participate and so we did. Thanks to my generous friends and family, I managed to raise a nice little sum to contribute.

The walk actually ended up being a lot of fun. Even though I had to get up earlier than I do on a workday and even though we ended up getting quite wet in the rain, I enjoyed both the exercise and walking with my teammates.

It wasn't supposed to rain. In fact one of my coworkers and I were waiting for the rest of our group to arrive and we spotted Mr. Weatherman- Frank Marzullo from Fox 19 news. My coworker called out to him and he said hi and assured us we'd have nice weather for the walk.

Less than ten minutes later, it started raining. I'm not kidding. By this time, Frank Marzullo was up on stage, doing some grandstanding and he didn't say a word about the rain. It didn't help that I had stupidly listened to him the day before when he promised it'd be dry for the walk. Thus, I came wearing a t-shirt with a thin hoodie over it. Had I known it was going to rain, I would have brought the umbrella I keep in my car or I would have brought a windbreaker. Silly Captain Monkeypants!

Still, in spite of the fact that we were dripping by the time the walk started, the rain stopped and we managed to dry out as we progressed. As the walk started, it became pretty clear that there were going to be two paces set by our team- the slow walkers and the fast walkers. I'm a fast walker by nature so I broke ahead with the fast walker pack from our office. We ended up finished about 25-30 minutes before the rest of the team.

It didn't take as long as I thought to finish the 5K walk and afterwards, I simply headed home to figure out what I still needed to shop for to take on my trip.

The rest of the weekend has been spent making a packing list and organizing my clothes. This seemed like an excellent time to switch over to my fall/winter wardrobe and pack the summer stuff away, sad as I was to do it. I also decided to be ruthless and donate a lot of my clothes from all seasons. It's probably the influence of "Hoarders" but I decided that if I had some clothing I hadn't worn over a year or if I hadn't worn it all during the last season, I would donate it. In the end, I had two large IKEA bags full of donations. Most of it is good stuff that either doesn't quite fit me any more or just isn't my style. Having moved from California back to the Midwest, my style has changed a lot since I moved.

It felt good to purge and organize. I now have a well organized closet and lots of leftover hangers. I also have my packing list made for my trip with only a few toiletries left to get.

The hard part is that even though I'm staying in a hotel for the first half of my trip, I'm going to be moving on to my grandparent's for the second half so I have to be prepared for both legs of the trip. Even though I can do some shopping in the UK if I need to, I'd still like to try and minimize it if I can.

Aside from physically packing, I'm pretty much ready to go, I think. I'm not ready to be apart from the pups for 10 days but I'm not thinking about that. I know, logically, they'll be safe with my parents but it still doesn't mean I won't worry about them. I'm an overprotective mother, I know it and knowing is half the battle. I have their bag half-packed- I stocked up on their favourite "chompers" which is our name for the long lasting treats they get whenever I have to leave them for a while. They're partial to Busy Chewnola's which keep them busy. It also stops them from chewing things they're not supposed to chew.

So, in three days, I'll be London-bound and my pups will be spoiled rotten by their grandparents. I won't be blogging while I'm gone because even if I took my laptop, I wouldn't necessarily have an internet connection and, frankly, lumping a computer to the UK is a lot of work. I've done it before and I'd rather not do it again. I'm sure, however, I will have plenty of stories to tell when I return. Thus, for now, I'll bid you all adieu until I return. Or, as the Brits say, "Cheerio!"

Thanks for reading! Happy Monday and on!

Bringing it Down to Toadstool Town

2011-09-22T17:33:00.000-07:00

This week has gone by quite quickly. This is probably because I’m leaving for my trip to London in less than a week and I’ve had a lot to do both at work and at home in preparation.

I don’t mind when weeks go fast. This has been a bit of a rainy week, actually. Ever since Sunday, we’ve had showers or the threat of them every day. Since it’s not officially autumn yet and summer hasn’t completely left, this has resulted in somewhat sticky, muggy conditions.

This has also resulted in my garden being turned into Toadstool Town. The problem with our area of Cincinnati is that we were actually built on a spring. This means that not only are we unable to have basements in our houses because of the water table level or what have you but, also, it means that we have pretty bad drainage and a lot of dampness when it rains.

Which is why I now have a Toadstool Town on my lawn. Our area is highly prone to different types of fungi popping up everywhere. Normally, it’s just a couple after it’s rained. I mowed my lawn on Sunday. Since then, toadstools have been popping up like triffids. Each day since then that I’ve woken up, there have been toadstools popping up that are increasingly larger than they usually are. They’re also getting closer and closer to the house.

My current project is to identify the toadstools. I want to make sure they’re not deathly toxic or anything like that. The dogs don’t seem interested in them and just seem to run right over them but still, as a paranoid dog-mother, I’m going to check anyway.

I’m not too thrilled about the toadstools. They’re a little like dandelions in the spring- a badge of shame in the neighbourhood. Many of my neighbours are prodigious in caring for their lawns. They measure the height of the mower, make sure they edge the lawn regularly and, of course, spray for dandelions.

As a still somewhat newish homeowner, I haven’t quite got the hang of dandelions yet. I tend to, uh, well…let them grow until I mow their pretty heads off.

That’s probably part of my problem too. I quite like dandelions. I know they’re nuisances and they take over the lawn and cover up the green glory with their yellow obnoxiousness but, well, I find them to be friendly little flowers. Which is probably another issue- I think of them as flowers rather than weeds.

I know there are botanists out there who for centuries have documented plant life, carefully segregating it into genus and species and all that scientific class stuff. I know that there is a line between weed and cultivated plants but I find it to be a little rude to some of the weeds. After all, some plants that are classified as weeds are far prettier and decorative than cultivated plants. Take hostas for example.I know they have their place and are shade plants and la-de-da and all that but, well, I am not a fan of hostas. I also find pampas grass to be rather unattractive which is why I ripped it up from my front garden and replaced it with butterfly bushes and zinnias.

Anyway, back to my point…I find dandelions to be cute and fun when they’re in their flower stage. I don’t like them when they turn into the dandelion clocks because they’re quite ugly then. Also, that’s when you start getting the death stares from the neighbours who care a lot about their lawn and do NOT want the dandelion clocks spreading their nasty seeds on their pretty lawns. This is the stage at which I do a lot of mowing. Granted, I’m well aware that by mowing the dandelions, the seeds are going into the air and probably spreading themselves anyway but, well, it comes down to a case of hiding the evidence. If I have no dandelion clocks on my lawn, fingers can’t be pointed at me if they grow on the neighbour’s lawns.

Toadstools are a little like dandelions except that they grow even quicker. They have that same shaming quality though where you feel like people in the neighbourhood are seeing the toadstools and secretly labeling me the FUNGUS ENABLER.

Yes, I know this is probably unlikely and a bit dramatic. However, this is why I’m grateful that my front yard is toadstool free and the fungus are solely in the back yard.

My solution has been to kick the Toadstool Town daily and take out the little buggers. Unfortunately, this does not stop them growing again overnight. I could mow them but my grass really doesn’t need it. Also, it’s quite wet so I’d rather not mow if I can avoid it. After google-ing “toadstool cures”, apparently I can buy some fungicide to kill them off but, well, frankly, to quote Ned Stark while simultaneously sending a shudder down my mother’s spine, “Winter is Coming.”

Thus, it seems a bit of a waste to fungicide the lawn now when in a few weeks, we might have a frost which will solve the problem. (Sorry mum…just being realistic).

Therefore, it seems the pups and I will have to deal with Toadstool Town for now. I’m going to actually dispose of the kicked-over toadstools in hopes that it stops their demon spores from reproducing. Sadly, this probably won’t help but it will make me feel better. Also, it will make me feel better if they’re away from the dogs just in case their some Highly Toxic Toadstool though I suspect their much more run-of-the-mill than that.

I’ll figure it out. In the meantime, I’ll remain disappointed that I have boring old Toadstools-Who-Shall-Be-Named-Eventually instead of something more useful that likes damp conditions such as chanterelle mushrooms or morels which would cost over $12/pound in the grocery store.

Ah well, it could always be worse. They could spread to the front yard.

Happy Friday!

Maybe This is Why I'm Still Single (Subtitle: If I Ever Go Missing, It's Probably My Fault)

2011-09-20T16:54:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, when I'm at my most paranoid, I have a fear that I'm going to end up tied up in some serial killer's basement.

This is not an altogether unfounded fear. Not only do I have a dark streak that tends to find things like serial killers fascinating but, also, I tend to be a bit of a sucker for a hard luck case. The combination of this would probably end up as a statistically high possibly that I will, in fact, end up in a serial killer's basement.

Throughout my life, I have always been a sucker for the hard luck cases. This is why, when I was in infant school (U.S. Translation: elementary school) in the UK, I was the girl who ended up sitting with Nicholas Watts, the most bullied boy in our class, at lunch and who'd feel so bad that poor little Nicholas was lonely and didn't have many friends that I'd invite him to play with me and my friends. We'd play girly things and make him join in- he'd have to clean our Wendy House and do the laundry in our pretend games. I hope Nicholas turned out ok- we did treat him just like he was one of the girls.

In Junior school, it was Adil- the nice Indian boy who moved to the UK from India with his family. He didn't have many friends because kids could be mean but we were fascinated by his exoticness and we let him play netball with us. This was fun until Adil made friends with some boys and ditched us to play cricket. When he accidentally hit a cricket ball that hit me in the eye, I stopped being so fond of Adil because he laughed when he did it. When you're nine and someone laughs at you when they make you bleed, it's not easily forgiven.

This has been the case through my life. In high school in the U.S., it was 'Joe' whose real name was...Joe. He was one of those weird kids who marches to his own beat. Some of the kids called him 'retarded' but he wasn't- he was just different. I was nice to Joe because I can't stand seeing people get picked on like that. He was a little odd and I did laugh with my friends about some of the things he did yet I tried to never be rude to him. This ended up with Joe having a bit of a crush on me and he'd deliver gifts to me when I was at work in the video store. He made me mixed tapes and wrote me long poems. I broke his heart gently but it was a lesson in that fine line between kindness and...overkindness.

I've had a few other males like Joe who liked me because I was nice. This, in no way, is me tooting my horn about how great I am and how kind I am. This is merely my way of explaining my basement-serial-killer theory. You see, I tend to try to be nice in general. I don't tolerate rude people well. I don't like snotty people and I don't like people who treat others badly. I have my limits. Yet when it comes to people in general, I try to be nice .

This is not always a good thing. With Joe, it was a harmless teenage crush. In college, it was a guy we'll call Barnabas. That is NOT hiks real name. Barnabas was, in short, a weirdo. He was the kind of person who was very, very intense. His way of looking at things was rather off-kilter. He didn't watch TV because he found it banal, trite and 'frankly, a waste of his brainpower'. If Barnabas had been the genius he thought he was, this would have been understandable but, well, he wasn't. He was just an oddball who wore the same jacket everywhere, everyday, regardless of the weather. He found me because of a paper I'd written for a professor we'd shared. He saw the paper in my professor's office and was fascinated by the topic I'd chosen to write about and he asked to read the whole thing. He found me a day later by calling my dorm room and asking to talk to me about the paper.

For some reason, he seemed to like talking to me. I found him fascinating. He was probably one moral conscience away from being a serial killer, honestly but when you're 20 and in college, it seems intriguing rather than dangerous. Long story short, he became 'my friend' and would engage me in long, late night conversations about everything. Over time, he got more scary and I backed away. The last time I talked to him, he called me and the first thing he asked was if I'd had sex. I'm not kidding. He was rather alarming in his intensity about the issue and he asked some very inappropriate questions. Needless to say, by that time, it was quite a few years out of college and I was wise enough to recognize dangerous behaviour. Thus, that was our last conversation ever.

The reason I'm telling you all this is because I'm a bit alarmed by Larry the Potential Serial Killer. I try to be nice to him. Tonight, when I was walking the dogs, I was still wearing my work clothes and I literally head him say "wow" when he saw me. I wasn't wearing anything terribly risque though I was wearing something that I knew looked nice on me. He proceeded to corner me and tell me absolutely everything about his day while doing that close talking thing that is his specialty. It doesn't help that I think he's single again. He seems to have had a lady friend for a while but I haven't seen her or her car in his driveway lately. He wouldn't let me leave. Even though the dogs were straining to continue our walk, Larry kept stepping in front of me to keep me talking. He also suggested we 'get together' sometime, especially in the winter when it's cold outside.

Now, I'm not serious when I call him a potential serial killer. You know that. He's odd and he's a little too friendly but I jest when I write it. However, I do think that I should probably not have been quite so friendly to Larry. I do have a tendency to attract strange men by being nice to them. The ones I've told you about are only a sample, believe it or not.

I'm not sure what to do, honestly. I don't really want to spend cold winter nights with Larry the Potential Serial Killer. I just don't really know how to be rude. I don't know if it's because I'm British and we're just polite or I just don't like being mean but I can't figure out how to ignore Larry. He's nice. He's friendly. How do you ignore him. I've tried the polite wave which is fine when the route the pups and I take doesn't go right by his house. However, when he descends on us out of nowhere, there's no way to avoid him.

Perhaps I could use some tips on how to be mean. Again, this is not me trying to get accolades for my 'niceness'. It's quite the opposite. It's just my way of saying that I'm a wee bit afraid I might end up like Catherine in "Silence of the Lambs"- trapped in a basement because I helped some poor stranger with a broken arm load a sofa into his van.

I'd like to think I'm not that daft. I have read the non-fiction accounts of many a serial killer and I happen to know that this particular broken arm trick was an M.O. of Ted Bundy so at least I'm aware.

It's just that I'm also a sucker. If I ran into someone, say, like Larry who I accidentally invited over to share my firepit, what's to say that he won't show up and stab me to death all because I accidentally invited him over.

I suppose it would be my own fault. I am a bit of a magnet for weirdos though and I never have figured out why. It does make life interesting but, well, maybe life should be that interesting.

Nevertheless, I'll make sure I lock my doors and windows. Just in case.

Happy Wednesday!

More Pea Gravel Patio Adventures

2011-09-18T14:48:00.000-07:00

This has been one busy weekend! I finally got my patio finished. I'm pretty pleased with the result but if I never have to haul another 50 lb bag of pea gravel from my car to the garden again, I'll be happy. I ended up using approximately 42 bags of gravel which is over two tons. It looks good, I do have to say.

I broke the new patio in this weekend by lighting a fire in the firepit. Fortunately, I was not joined by Larry the Potential Serial Killer though I must admit, I was a little paranoid that he'd stop by. In the end, it was just me and the girls who rather enjoyed sitting on my lap and enjoying the fire. It's hard when they both want to sit on my lap since I have only one lap and they're two long dogs.

Aside from the patio, I spent the weekend shopping for my upcoming visit to London. The shopping wasn't just for London- in my efforts to shed my excess weight, I dropped a size in clothes and much of my fall wardrobe is a little bigger than I am. Not that I'm complaining. It gives me an excuse to go shopping. It was a good weekend for it- there were sales galore. I like this time of year because the summer clothes are on clearance. It's a good time to stock up for next year but also to get some good layering type of clothes to wear under heavier sweaters and cardigans.

I'm getting excited about London-it's going to be rather nice to get to spend some time being a 'tourist'- usually my trips to the UK are family-oriented which is wonderful but they don't allow the same freedom as an actual vacation just because there are so many people to see. Also, it seems that everyone is always trying to feed me. It'll be nice to have a little bit of time where I get to explore on my own and eat what I like. My cousin is coming to spend some time in London with me- I haven't seen her for many years so it'll be fun to see how she's doing. After the work part of the trip is over, i'm heading to my grandparent's which will be nice.

The only part I'm worried about is missing my pups. I know they'll be safe with their 'grandparents' but it'll be hard to be away for 10 days without seeing them. I'm sure they'll be fine, right?

I only have 10 days before I leave- there still seems like a lot to do but there always does before you go away anywhere. The hard stuff is sorted- my passport is valid and I have a temporary green card so I shouldn't have any travel problems. The part I hate is being on the plane- it's an overnight flight and no matter how hard I try, I simply can't sleep properly on a plane.

Still, I have time before I have to worry about that. There's another weekend in there and since I don't have any more landscaping plans, I'll have plenty of time to take care of things next week.

For now, I plan on enjoying what little of the weekend I have left and being a little sore from all my pea gravel exertions. Still, they say "no pain, no gain," right?

And I gained a nice little patio so it was probably worth the pain.

Happy Monday!

Accidental Invitations

2011-09-15T17:56:00.000-07:00

It’s feeling a lot like autumn out there. Last night, we had a mini storm come in and by this morning, it had dropped about 20 degrees. I have to say, it feels wonderful and given that it’s almost the calendar start of Fall, I can’t help but want to welcome it with open arms. I’m actually over that hump where I feel like summer is being usurped. We’ve had enough days where it’s too chilly to wear open-toed shoes and I’ve resorted to my boots and socks and so, for me, it’s autumn.

This doesn’t mean I’m ready to decorate for the season but it does mean that I can start dressing a little warmer and appreciating the start of autumnal thinking.

I did finally get my bench built. Let me tell you, building a cast iron-backed bench by oneself is NOT an easy task. You’re supposed to screw the really heavy back piece into each side which would be fine if someone was available to hold it but, alas, as a singleton, I was on my own. The dogs were no help. They skedaddled as soon as I started swearing at the blasted thing. Yes, there was plenty of swearing. I got hot, sweaty and generally quite frustrated.

However, I persevered. I managed to use the wall as a support for the legs and with some creative maneuvering got it done. I now have a bench and you can even sit on it. The reason I’m telling you this is that the bench is involved in my autumn plans. I wanted to get it done and outside so that I had somewhere to sit while enjoying a fire in my new firepit on a cool evening.

The only thing I’m a bit worried about is that I might have accidentally invited Larry the Potential Serial Killer to join me. You see, I was walking the girls on Tuesday night and he was outside. We chatted politely about the weather as you so often do with neighbours. He mentioned how he wanted to get “one of those there firepits you see in Lowes” and I stupidly said, “I have one of those.” His eyes lit up and he said “You do? Well, that’s neato. Maybe I’ll come to yours then.” Thinking he was joking, I said “sure!”. I WAS joking. Larry was not. He said, “I’ll be over then.” And he meant it.

Lesson learned here: Do not stupidly agree to things if you think someone is joking because he might not be.

Now I’m a bit worried that he might come over if he sees me having a fire in the firepit. I suppose it might be ok except, well, he’s a wee bit creepy and, also, at least 15 years older than me. Methinks I do not want Larry in my backyard when it’s dark outside. It didn’t help that while I was talking to him, he had been roaming around the backyard with no shoes or socks on his feet. I don’t have a problem with feet, per se. There are some men- surfers for example- who seem perfectly natural when they’re barefoot. Then there are men like Larry who just look…odd…when they’re barefoot.

Oh well, you live and learn, I suppose. It’s not going to stop me from enjoying my firepit- at least not unless he actually does show up. Since the dogs aren’t really fond of him, I expect they won’t be too happy about it either. He often tries to pet them when we go out for a walk and they sort of duck away and hide behind me whenever he does. They don’t do that with everyone.

Sookie tends to be a bit jumpy anyway. Today at lunch, I came home to find that one of the girls had an accident on the floor. This never happens and I mean never. I was a little surprised and annoyed but what can you do but clean it up? Then, Sookie started acting a little odd. I gave her a treat and she scoffed it down like normal. Then a few moments later when I gave her another one, she ignored it and tried to sit on my lap. Then, she suddenly backed away and started to run outside. I was worried she was having tummy issues and followed her. Nope, she just wanted to be outside. Then, when I went back to work, I noticed that she came in when I called her but then, when she normally hops in her crate, she didn’t. She tried to go outside again.

I figured out what was bothering her. I’d noticed my smoke detector had been chirping because I needed to change the battery. She was afraid of the chirp. Each time it made it’s annoying sound, she tried to run away. When I got back to work, I googled this to see if it was normal. Apparently, there are quite a few dogs out there who get upset/panicked/terrified by this mere chirping sound.

I did feel better. I had been worried she wasn’t well but it turns out she was just frightened which is still bad but easily remedied by removing the dying battery in the smoke detector for now. My guess is that she’s the one who had ‘the accident’ and was so frightened she couldn’t hold her bladder. Poor little thing- what seems like a mildly irritating noise to me must be a great deal more worrying to her.

Sookie is a worrier. She likes things to be the same all the time. She doesn’t like change and she most certainly doesn’t like it when her sister is naughty. Also, she doesn’t like strangers, particularly men. She’s quite protective of me which is both good and bad.

Thus, I’m hoping that she’ll be enough to deter Larry the Potential Serial Killer when he comes to visit. Of course, I’m really hoping he simply doesn’t come and visit but lately, nothing’s been quite going as planned so I’m not holding my breath.

Still, I can’t let it deter me from the fact that I’m starting to accept that summer is a fleeting visitor and that autumn is taking over. I don’t want it to come too fast but I do want it to come.

I’m ready.

Projects and Pea Gravel

2011-09-13T18:25:00.000-07:00

It seems that I can’t seem to stop myself from blogging even when I plan on it. So, here I am…blogging again even though I had planned on reducing the frequency a little. Sometimes, it’s just nice to write. I don’t always get time for working on my novels so this is a good way for me to keep the thoughts flowing.

Lately, I’ve been busy trying to make the most of the balmy fall-ish weather and I’ve been working in the garden. I decided a few weeks ago that the very overgrown weed patch in my garden was getting on my nerves. I’ve been trying to slowly get rid of the weedy areas and plant flowers and things. However, weeds grow so fast and I don’t have time to stand out there and yank the blasted things up as soon as they appear. This results in a bit of a jungle. The dogs like the jungle effect as they like to intrepidly hunt in it for wildlife to chase. I, however, did not like the jungle.

It doesn’t help that this area is a bit prone to floods. I think we have a drainage issue in my area and when it rains a lot, I get a lot of puddles. This means that the nice things I plant there tend to die from too much water but the weeds flourish. I thought about a rain garden but we don’t always get very much rain. Here in the Midwest, we tend to have periods of intense rain followed by several weeks of drought.

Thus, my solution was to create a rustic patio in that corner of my garden. I have a firepit that I bought at the beginning of the summer that is waiting to be used. I had intended to use it on my patio after I built my trellis for privacy. Unfortunately, since I planted the clematis that I intended to grow up it too late, I didn’t get as much privacy as I wanted. It’s a little hard to relax outside with Dog Whisperer’s beasts yapping wildly even though I’m doing nothing but sitting still. Also, with the addition of the trampoline, Son of Dog Whisperer has acquired a whole new collection of neighbourhood friends. I’m actually curious to see what his parents think- the gaggle of kids who moved into the house behind them like to come over now. They look a wee bit too old to be hanging around with an 9 year old boy, honestly. One of them is a pre-teen girl and at the risk of sounding like a dowdy spinster, if she was my kid, I certainly wouldn’t let her leave the house dressed like that. Also, the boy who bounces on the trampoline looks to be going on fourteen or fifteen. It’s not my business though other than the fact that while I think a bonding tool like a trampoline is great for the kids, it’s not so good for us neighbours who want a little rest and relaxation after work.

Thus, I decided to build the rustic patio since it was on the opposite side of the yard to Dog Whisperer’s house and allows some modicum of privacy as it’s tucked away in the corner of the garden. I got most of it done in one day- pulling up the worst of the weeds and trapping the rest beneath landscaping fabric. Then I covered it with pea gravel. Lots and lots of pea gravel. Fortunately, Lowes was having a sale on the gravel and I got a great deal. I ended up using 26 bags of it. Each bag weighs 50 lbs. Who needs a gym when you own a house?

I’m proud of the result. I still haven’t finished but the former jungle is now a clean corner of my yard with a rosebush for decoration. My garden gnomes now have a home. I love gnomes although I don’t like those themed ones with college sports teams that have become popular. Give me a good old fashioned grumpy-looking gnome any day.

I want to finish the patio this weekend. I haven’t decided if I want to get more gravel and expand it or take the easy way out and use mulch instead. The result will be the same- a weed free area that won’t need much maintenance. Since it borders my vegetable patch which is already mulched, it would blend nicely. I’m leaning towards the mulch.

Aside from that, all that remains is to lay a base for the firepit and assemble a garden bench that I ordered on clearance from Home Depot. That’s tonight’s project: assembling a bench. While I’d like to think that it’ll be a piece of cake, I’m not fooling myself. I built a wheelbarrow at the beginning of the summer that was supposed to be ‘easy to assemble’. I’ve discovered that ‘easy to assemble’ for the general world means “difficult for Captain Monkeypants.” I’m a creative creature, I like to think. However, let’s just say when it came to the math and science sections of standardized tests, I didn’t do so well. I tried but, well, I’m better suited to humanities and fields that allow some form of creative license.

Still, when the bench is built, I’ll have something to sit on while I enjoy my firepit. The dogs aren’t thrilled at their diminished jungle but they’re intrigued by the gravel. I’m hoping Sookie stops being startled by the gnomes soon. The new patio is part of the track upon which the girls run when they first go outside and I’ve caught her stopping dead in her tracks to acknowledge the gnomes and sniff them warily.

I’m quite pleased with my patio. It has made me wish just a little that I had a partner, preferably a man who can lift bags of gravel easier than me, to assist me but there is definitely a feeling of accomplishment in doing something like that myself. Hopefully, when it’s done, I’ll have an additional place to sit outside, away from bouncing, screaming children and yipping dogs. I’m quite looking forward to the crisper evenings so that I can light a fire outside, have a cup of tea and enjoy the autumn evenings.

I’m just a little fed up of pea gravel.Maybe it is time to switch to mulch.

Happy Wednesday!

Fading Summer...

2011-09-12T17:27:00.000-07:00

It’s that weird time of year where it’s not quite autumn but summer is starting to show signs of weariness. Two weeks ago, we were having 100 degree temperatures. Last week, the warm weather departed, leaving us with rainy, grey days that barely got above 70 degrees. This week is a happy medium. We’re supposed to be in the 80’s for the first part of the week and it’s supposed to be a little cooler for the weekend.

It’s a transition period. I find these are a little tricky. I have two wardrobes- a spring/summer and an autumn/winter one. Twice a year, I go through the ritual of changing out one wardrobe for another. It seems like just yesterday I was hanging up my capris and sleeveless shirts and putting away my thicker sweaters and darker clothing.

It seems too soon to switch the wardrobes. After all, technically, it’s still summer. It may be feeling a little autumnal out there but it’s not autumn. I love the treats of fall. I love pumpkins and squash, scarecrows, fallen leaves, leaf fires and chilly nights. However, I’m finding that I’m reluctant to jump in yet. It’s simply a little too early.

I think I’ve become fonder of summers since I moved back to a place that has seasons. I’ve written a couple of blogs about how summer is my least favourite season. This year, I’m not sure if I’ve just changed but I’ve enjoyed summer. I’ve enjoyed watching the herbs grow, the veggies ripen and sitting outside in the evenings. I’ve liked working on outdoor projects. It’s been fun.

This may be why I’m feeling a little defensive of summer every time I pass by a house that already has little scarecrows and autumn leaf flags adorning the garden. A couple of people have started their autumn displays of haybales and squash.

Even though summer was, once again, greedy this year and took over before spring was truly done, I still feel like that’s no excuse for turning our minds from the bright colours of summer and putting them towards the oranges, browns and reds of autumn. Not yet.

I know it’s a societal invention but I feel like until the calendar officially reads “first day of Autumn”, it’s not time to start celebrating the fall.

This is also true when it comes to wardrobe. I find that when I’m waking up and the mornings are chillier than they were two weeks ago, my tendency is to reach for autumn-esque clothing. I tend to leave a few pieces in my wardrobes that I consider ‘transitional’ attire. This is why I never put away my black, heeled, every day ankle boots that go nicely under my trousers nor do I put away my cardigan collection or my black trousers. With these items, it’s easy to find something to wear to work that utilizes parts of my summer wardrobe but lets me dress for the weather without completely having to changeover the wardrobe. This works well when winter is transitioning to spring too. I keep a couple of lighter coloured blouses unpacked so that I can wear them when the weather warms up.

It’s just hard to keep up with the seasons at the moment. The leaves are starting to look like they’re considering changing colour. A couple of trees in the neighbourhood appeared to have been fooled by the rainy, cold weather of last week and somehow managed to drop almost every leaf already leaving very little left to do in the autumn.

The dogs seem a little confused too. In the mornings, I let Rory and Sookie out and when it’s cooler, they stop and sniff the air instead of running full speed ahead into the garden as they’ve done all summer. They spend much more time outside too now the weather is cooler.

This is not necessarily a good thing. Last night, I went to check on them and couldn’t find them anywhere. Instead of panicking, I guessed that they had finally succeeded on their latest mission: Find a Way Under the Toolshed.

This is not the first time the girls have had this mission. Last time they succeeded, I barricaded all of the possible entrances to Under the Tool Shed using a combination of wood planks, pavers and bricks. I was successful. However, when dealing with two completely obsessed dachshunds who simply MUST GET TO WHATEVER SMELL IS WAFTING UP FROM UNDER THERE, there appears to be no 100% surefire way to prevent them from going under the shed.

Thus, when they vanished last night, I calmly went behind the shed. Sure enough, the wood planks had been fried loose enough to allow a gap big enough for my girls to wriggle through. I knocked on the side of the shed and firmly summoned my dogs back up to the surface. A few minutes later, both dogs emerged, bright eyed, laced with cobwebs with their tails wagging furiously. It was quite obvious that they knew they had Been Up To No Good but they were still too high from the adrenaline to care that their ‘mother’ was angry with them.

I quickly boarded up the gap and made sure that it was pup-proofed. Shortly after trying unsuccessfully to get back under the shed, the dogs followed me inside, dejected but also knowing they were in a spot of trouble. I told them off and they spent the rest of the evening trying to get cuddles which is what they do when they know I’m cross with them and they want to suck up. Of course, after my initial annoyance at their misbehavior wears off, I give in.

I’m hoping that this is not a sign of autumn antics to come. While I’m not fond of them going under the shed, I’d rather they disappeared under there than, say, under the fence or gate. At least its controlled chaos. I do worry a little that when they emerge, they’ll have some creature in their mouth but, so far, they haven’t caught anything.

Still, even though I’ve controlled their chaos, the cooler evenings and days mean that I’ll have to keep an eye on my wayward pups. With the sluggish heat of summer, they tend to be a little less active. When it’s nice outside, they stay out there and it only takes a short time for Rory Gilmore to Get Up to No Good.

I’m sure as summer really fades and gives way to actual autumn, there will be plenty more antics going on in my backyard. The squirrels already seem to be up to their evil plots. They always seem to increase in number in autumn so I’m gearing up for many a walk spent trying to prevent the girls from chasing them up trees.

In the meantime, I’m going to attempt to hold onto the last days of summer before the weather really cools down and avoid the lure of pumpkin, spices and autumn leaves. Of course, if it really gets as cold at night as they’re saying- 42 degrees, I may change my mind. We’ll see how it goes.

Happy Tuesday!

Decisions, Decision

2011-09-11T17:00:00.000-07:00

So, I've decided to continue blogging but I'm going to start reducing it from every week day to a couple of blogs a week. I think that might help with the blog burnout factor and help reduce the amount of blogs where I whine. This is not going to count as one of my blogs but I figured that since my last blog was a dither about whether or not to keep blogging, I'd update this with my decision.

So, for now, I'll make this a short and sweet blog without saying much more other than to send out huge thank you's to my parents for helping me have one of those sorely needed weekends where I felt very loved. Sometimes, you need to feel loved and I haven't felt that way lately so it's nice to have it affirmed that no matter how blue you feel, time spent with family can pull you out of it.

Thanks, mum and dad...you are wonderful. Oh, and a belated welcome back mummy-Monkeypants from the UK where she managed to have a bad enough flying experiences that I still feel justified in setting the entrance to Hell in "Emmy Goes to Hell" in an airport.

Happy Monday and thanks, as always, for reading!

To Blog or Not to Blog...That is the Question

2011-09-07T16:39:00.001-07:00

So, I extended my blogging vacation a little longer than planned. This has been primarily for me to take time to think about whether I really want to continue to blog or not. Lately, it’s become more of a chore than a pleasure to write. I enjoy writing it but sometimes, it feels horribly self-indulgent to think that people might actually want to read…well, about me.

I started my blog as a writing exercise, more than anything. It’s a way for me to get some writing done every day. It’s a great way for me to capture little moments in life, to paint a picture of my life with words. It’s a great tool to rant and rave. I’ve enjoyed it immensely.

I just don’t know if I should keep it going. I don’t know if people really want to read it or if it’s an obligation. This is not an attempt to fish for compliments, it’s a genuine query.

I think my dilemma stems from my current mood. Lately, I’ve been going through one of those self-examination phases. The rational, logical part of me is immensely content and feeling rather blessed with all the good things in life.

The irrational part of me has been feeling rather lonely and a little discontented with my life. Nothing seems quite…right. No matter what I do, I feel like I should do it differently or better. My writing isn’t going as well as it could and it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Everyone I know is super busy living their life and I feel like I’m just standing still. I usually don’t mind standing still but my life has recently felt like an episode of “Sex and the City,” where Miranda, the strong, independent lawyer who thinks she doesn’t need a man, almost chokes on her food in her apartment. She has no one to rescue her from choking but herself and she realizes that sometimes being independent just means that she’s alone. Or, like Bridget Jones, I worry that I’ll die in my house alone with only the dogs to find me and they can’t dial 911. It’s melancholy but sometimes being strong and resourceful like I try to be is not always best.

My slight case of melancholia is probably because it’s suddenly turned rather autumnal here, suddenly. I love autumn. I have blogs and blogs to prove that. I’m just not quite ready for it yet. I want the summer to last a little longer, for the last of my tomatoes to ripen and to ease me into the cooler days/nights and the falling leaves. This cold rainy weather shock is not really easing us into autumn as much as it’s shoving us there without letting us look back and question it. It’s making me feel like time is moving too fast and I’m not moving with it.

I’m just not sure what to do about it at the moment. I suppose I could try online dating again to fight the worry of choking and dying alone. The thought has occurred to me. I just end up talking myself out of it because I’ve had some bad experiences. Also, I’m just not very good at dating. I just would rather skip it and jump right to that comfortable stage where you can sit on the sofa watching crappy television without worrying that you’re wearing little makeup, old clothes and didn’t bother putting your contacts in.

This phase will pass. I know it will. When the sun comes out and life gets busier, I’ll feel angry with myself for feeling so self-indulgent. Worse, I’ll feel angry that I posted this on my blog and gave into my self-indulgent urge to whine.

Which is probably why I’m considering giving up the blog. It allows me a receptacle to deposit my whining. It’s more fun when I rant, I think. However, whining seems to be quite a lot easier sometimes. It’s a heck of a lot easier to complain that it is to say good things.

However, saying good things is infinitely better. So, I’ll say that I appreciate those of you that have read my blog while I’ve been writing it. I appreciate the fact that I love my life 95% of the time. I appreciate my two little dogs who are always there for me and will protect me both from Stranger Danger and the disgustingness of “Hoarders”. Rory often comes to my aid when I make noises of distressed disgust- last week, we watched an episode where a man had 2,500 pet rats running around and when I squealed with horror at the swarm of creatures running freely throughout the house, Rory sat on my head and tried to cover my eyes. This is a true story.

I also appreciate life in general, for better for worse, in rain and sun and in spring, summer, autumn and winter. Having a blog lets me have a way to appreciate that.

So, I still haven’t decided if I’ll give it up. Like Scarlett O’Hara said (and I paraphrase)…I’ll decide tomorrow. I can’t decide today.

And clearly since I’ve already blogged, I’m not giving it up today anyway.

Thanks for reading!

Happy Thursday.

Taking a Break

2011-08-29T12:38:00.000-07:00

So, aside from the odd day here and there where I've missed blogging, I really haven't taken any time off since I started. Thus, I've decided that I'm going to take a week away from blogging and will return after Labour Day just because I can.

Thanks, as always for reading and see you next week!

CM

Green Card Success

2011-08-25T17:53:00.000-07:00

Today’s relief is that I’m going to get to go to England without any green card issues. I had my appointment with the U.S. Immigration and Citizen Services (USICS) office today to try to get a temporary green card until my new one is issued.

I ended up getting a nice stamp in my passport with very little trouble at all unless you count having to wait in line behind a very angry and belligerent African man who clearly wasn’t happy with what he was being told and a pair of Latino men who did a lot of complaining in Spanish about the African man holding up the line.

I don’t speak much Spanish but I knew enough to pick up on some of the conversation plus the heavy sighs, eye rolling and aggressive pointing at the man sort of gave away the topic of the two men’s conversation.

The African man took a very long time to shout at the lady. She kept telling him the same thing which was pretty much that just because he wanted a green card didn’t mean they could just give him one. He needed documentation which he didn’t have. When, finally, the lady gave him a form to fill out, he went away.

It turned out that the Latino men were there on the wrong day. They had made an appointment for September 1st and mistakenly thought it was for today. From the conversation I overheard, it sounded very much like my situation: They had to travel and needed a temporary green card. Unfortunately for them the USICS is rather strict about appointments; i.e. if you don’t have one for the day and time you’re standing at the window, you will NOT be helped. Dejected, the two men left.

Finally it was my turn. I admit that I was a little nervous. I knew, theoretically, that there should be no reason I couldn’t get a temporary renewal but you never quite know, do you? I’ve found that with governmental offices with strict policies, if you don’t follow everything to a T, you’re out of luck. I tried to make sure I had everything I could need: My passport, my (expiring) green card, extra passport pictures, my social security card, money in case there was a fee and all of the documentation that I’d been told to bring including proof of my online renewal of my green card.

It turned out to be easy. I found the lady to be very helpful. She didn’t even hesitate when I told her what I needed. She actually seemed quite relieved that I wasn’t irate or shouting at her nor did I want something that was impossible for her to grant. Within ten minutes, I had a stamp in my passport for a one-year extension to my current green card. I was relieved. Even better, the lady managed to alleviate another little thing I’d been stressing about: My biometrics appointment.

My biometrics appointment is required for a green card renewal. All it really boils down to is a set of photos that the USCIS has to take and a session of fingerprinting. However, you cannot schedule your own appointment. Instead, you have to wait until the USCIS sends you a letter summoning you to your appointment. There’s no way to go before that.

I’d been worried that this would arrive during the time I was going to be in England. It didn’t help that the lady told me that if I missed my appointment, I had to immediately reschedule it or it would give the USCIS cause to deny my green card.

Fortunately, she was nice. I secretly think it’s because she was so relieved to have someone treat her like a human that she was willing to help. She checked on my appointment and made sure it was scheduled for me prior to my trip. That was another relief off my mind.

All in all, the whole process was far more painless than I expected. I didn’t have to wait long. I could see that there were quite a few people waiting with immigration lawyers for appointments with immigration interviewers. My family went through that when we first got our green cards and that is a LOT of waiting. I think the hardest part of the whole experiences was navigating my car in downtown Cincinnati which, like most cities, is nothing but a tangle of one way streets with traffic signals that are not the easiest to see because they hang horizontally rather than vertically.

By the time I returned to work, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest. I really didn’t have any real doubt that things wouldn’t work out but it still felt like it was hanging over me. It’s one of those things that there’s no way to feel better about until it’s done. I’m just glad I noticed my green card was expiring a month before my trip instead of, say, the night before or, even worse, at the airport when I tried to come back into the U.S. That would NOT have been good.

So, I’m grateful as I often am that things worked out just fine and there was an easy solution that I could take care of myself. All that’s left is for me to go get fingerprinted and photographed and then I just have to wait for my green card to arrive in the mail.

In the meantime, I can rest easier knowing that I can travel internationally again without anticipating any immigration problems on the way back. I’m not a fan of airports at the best of times- there’s a reason why in Emmy Goes to Hell that I set the entry to Hell in an airport. It’s a lifetime of bad flying experiences healthily employed as a cathartic release for me as a writer. I’d hate to have had to added “Refused back into the United States” to that list.

And now I don’t have to- thank you USCIS!

Happy Friday!

TV Confessions: Hoarding, Coupons and Collecting Weird Stuff

2011-08-24T18:45:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make. I’ve become slightly fascinating with slightly disgusting reality shows.

I blame the networks. During the summer, just like in school, summers are considered vacation time. This means my usual TV viewing of Grey’s Anatomy, Vampire Diaries (no mocking), Top Chef, and Gossip Girl (again, don’t mock) are all on hiatus along with other shows I watch every now and again. In an effort to fill the gap, there are other summer shows but nothing I remembered to watch in time to become invested.

So, I’ve been filling my summer in other ways. I did a lot of reading. I just now wrapped up all five of the Song of Fire and Ice series by George R.R. Martin as well as various other books I’ve borrowed and been meaning to read and return for months.

I’ve also cooked a lot. Thanks to my slight addiction to farmer’s market’s, vegetables have been the focus of my summer dishes. I’ve perfected my caprese tart, become slightly obsessed with beet salad and found a ton of ways to prepare veggies using a grill.

I also published Emmy Goes to Hell. I’ve written some short stories as well as conceptualize my new novel.

I’ve spent a lot of time with the dogs.

In short, my summer has been quite productive and fun in the absence of TV. It’s just that, well, as a fan of a good serialized show…I’ve missed TV quite a lot. I’ve substituted by rewatching all seasons of Top Chef. I’ve also been rewatching one of my all-time favourite shows, Gilmore Girls. Yet…I’ve seen them before. They’re not new to me the way a new episode of, say, Grey’s Anatomy is new. I did have Game of Thrones for a while and what a great while that was but at only 10 episodes in the season, it didn’t last long. Now it’s True Blood and that has been greatly disappointing this season. I still watch it out of habit but, well, it’s just not very good and thus, not very fulfilling.

So, as summer has started to wane, I’ve been turning on the TV and seeing just what’s on. Thanks to my parents, I already knew about Billy the Exterminator. This is a show that follows, you guessed it, an exterminator in Louisiana. Trust me, it’s funnier than it sounds because Billy looks like someone who fell of a 1980’s hair band with a penchant for the Harley Davison look. It’s actually quite funny especially when Billy has to don his mask (looks a little like Skeletor from He-Man) and his feather boa (helps prevent bee stings. Trust me, there’s nothing quite as bizarre and hilarious as watching this tough exterminator in a long black trench coat wearing feather boa and Skeletor mask fighting a swarm of bees. Billy has a brother too but he’s not very bright although he, too, looks like a 1980’s hair band reject.

I try not to watch Billy at home. I did slip once and caught myself watching it but it was about Canadian geese and I find those quite interesting anyway. Since my parents record it on their DVR, I normally wait until I got there for a weekend and see if they have any new episodes to watch. It makes me feel slightly less guilty of watching bad TV if it’s not on my DVR.

However, it doesn’t stop with Billy. A couple of weekends ago, I was caught between tasks and errands and I flicked the TV on and caught myself watching Hoarders: Buried Alive. I confess. I’m a little hooked. I wrote a blog once about how much the show Clean House annoyed me because slobs are rewarded for their…slobbishness by getting someone to help them clean their house. Hoarders is different. I find myself watching it for the psychological aspect of it. These people have actually to some psychological problem where they literally cannot throw things away. While the show tends to be a little vile at times, particularly when the house is so cluttered that rats are living beneath the mounds of stuff, it’s still oddly fascinating to me. I also caught just regular Hoarders this weekend. I don’t like it as much as the Buried Alive version because I think it tends to be a little too dramatic with the Black Information Cards of Doom that they use to inform viewers of additional information. However, does tend to be a little more disgusting. For example, there was a woman this week who was clearly severely mentally ill who fancied herself a cook. She had no working fridge, dead rats buried underneath trash and she apparently bakes cookies with mealworms and doesn’t tell people. Also, she left a dead squirrel in the butter dish once.

I can’t help it. Disgusting as it is, it’s also fascinating. We’ve established that I have a dark streak- it’s most attracted to the darker side of human nature. I’ve always been fascinated with personality disorders. Hence my fascination with Hoarders.
From there, I saw another show being advertised: My Collection Obsession. It featured a lady who is obsessed with baby dolls and treats them like real kids. Worse still, her husband and daughter let her do this and think it’s interesting. Well, the husband likes it because it means she leaves him alone but…still. There was also a boy who loves vacuum cleaners and collects them. He loves them and has a side business fixing them. I think he was 15. Apparently, he loved vacuums since he was a toddler. While I think it’s a bit odd, I actually think it’s pretty interesting to have a ‘calling’ in life that’s actually quite useful even if it does mean a large collection of vacuum cleaners to go along with it.

Then another day, I came across Extreme Couponing. I didn’t like this one so much. I find that, psychologically, extreme couponers are just another variety of a hoarder. Sure, there are the decent ones who clip the coupons to create care packages for the troops or to give to a homeless shelter. But every couponer also has “a stockpile” which is a very well organized room/closet/basement filled with shelves that are so full, it looks like a grocery store. One man was proud that he had 1000 tubes of toothpaste that he had for free. Then there was a lady who wanted to help her daughter-in-law get a stockpile of her own. So she went to the store, managed to get over 30 bottles of laundry detergent FOR FREE with her coupons and then gave her daughter-in-law five of them. Yes, five. How generous.

They might be well organized but these extreme coupon people are still hoarders. They spend 35-40 hours a week clipping a coupon. They have GIANT binders full of well organized coupons. Their stockpiles boast more of each item than a store generally keeps on the shelves. Sure, they’re saving money but they’re doing it for the sake of getting stuff for free not because they really need the stuff. It’s a different form of hoarding. It’s usually born out of needing to save money and I respect that but if you can go to the store, get a weeks’ groceries for free, do you really also need to get ten more of each item just because you can? Do you really need 71 bottlesw of mustard because you have 71 coupons? Do you need a cart full of diapers because they end up being free EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T HAVE A BABY????

It just seems like Extreme Greed to me. Plus, where the heck do they get those stacks and stacks of coupons to begin with? Also, if I got stuck behind an extreme couponer in the grocery store, I think I’d be annoyed. It takes them FOREVER to check out because they watch the cashiers like hawks. Also, if I went to a store to use my SINGLE coupon for a bottle of detergent only to find out that some greedy cow had just bought 30 of them and didn’t leave any for me, I’d be annoyed. LEAVE SOME FOR THE NORMAL PEOPLE!

That’s it as far as my guilty TV goes. I think once the regular TV season starts up, I’ll cut back on my crap-TV viewing. However, I will say as a writer, I do find it insightful and interesting to study the personality types of these people.

Of course, the side effect is that I’m very, very conscious of how much stuff I have in my house. Also, I’m even more conscious of making sure my house is clean. Also, if I see some clutter, I immediately declutter the area because I have a secret fear that I might be becoming a hoarder without realizing it.

Also, after seeing the disgusting Fridge Lady, I did immediately go to my own fridge to make sure everything in it was fresh and not blackened, dirty and 20 years old. Oh, and yes, she actually ate the things from her fridge that were literally 20 years old. This is especially vile because, as I mentioned, her fridge wasn’t working and hadn’t been for many years.

Sorry. I’ve probably disgusted you now, haven’t I? I apologize. Blame the Hoarders.
Although, really, since I’m the one watching the show, I’m really too blame. Oh dear. Maybe that means I have some psychological problem where I’m some form of voyeur for watching these people. Will that be the next show: Voyeurs: Buried Alive by Disgusting TV. Perhaps I ought to go back to reading, writing and cooking and just wait for the real TV season to begin.

Although perhaps I ought to wipe that show I saw advertised about Waiting for the Apocolypse off my DVR first.

I have to face it. I’m a hoarder of a different nature: I hoard things in my brain about freaky people to write about as characters in my novels.

Can we call it research instead? I like that better.

Happy Thursday!

A LIttle Too Early...Pre-Trip Excitement

2011-08-23T18:35:00.000-07:00

I’m going to England in a little over a month, provided my green card gets renewed. I have an appointment to get a temporary one on Thursday so wish me luck. Hopefully I’ll be successful. If not, I find places like the USCIS offices a very interesting place to people watch and make up stories in my head about who the people are.

I’m excited about England, I think. I’m a little nervous about leaving the pups for so long but they’ll be with my parents so I’m sure there’ll be fine. It’s just hard with dogs because unlike, say, with kids, you can’t call them on the phone. Granted, I confess, I am one of those insane pet parents who likes my parents to hold the phone to Sookie and Rory’s ear so I can say hi but that generally confuses them and forces them to try to find out why I’m trapped in the weird little box thing and why I’m not there petting them.

Still, the trip should be fine. Even though it’s paid by my office, it’s primarily a reward trip and thus will not be as much work as just having fun. My office has a nice policy that spouses and partners are also allowed to go and have their expenses paid because the theory is that they’re the ones who have to put up with our sometimes insane working hours/habits and thus they too should be rewarded. I like that theory. I think it’s kind and very generous.

For me, I don’t have a spouse nor a partner. Dogs are not permitted. Neither are mothers, sisters or friends. Thus, like a few others in the group, I will be going alone. I actually don’t mind at all. We get an allotted amount of spending money and if you bring someone, you have to share. As I’m a singleton, I get that money all to myself. Stingy…probably? Luxury? Definitely.

Most of the trip will involve lots of free time. The office will give us a list of activities that we can either choose to do or not and if we choose to do them, the company will pay. The beauty of it is we don’t have to do anything. We can simply enjoy London.

I know, I know…I’m very lucky. I know it and I’m already grateful even though the trip hasn’t happened yet. It’s simply nice to be working for a company who has a Top Performers trip. Even if I hadn’t have qualified, I’d still admire the fact that the company has been doing this for 30 years, each time somewhere new. It’s a very generous way to show your employees that they do matter and they make a difference.

I’m even luckier that not only have I qualified for my first possible trip but also that it’s to London. Usually, it’s somewhere like Key West, Las Vegas or Miami. That’s not to say those places wouldn’t be a ton of fun either but London is definitely better- I’m planning on staying a few extra days to visit my friends and family.

The interesting part of the trip for me is watching our branch administrator plan it. For me, a natural born Brit, things of a British nature are, well, second nature to me. Yet, viewing things through my coworkers’ eyes, I get an entirely different perspective. Everything is new and different. For example, normally when she plans the trip in the U.S., she finds a resort hotel or a hotel with a good concierge who will assist with setting up dining, entertainment and amenities. In England, that is not the case. The concierge will assist to some degree by making recommendations. They might even book theatre tickets. However, when it comes to planning group activities, that’s all up to my branch administrator. She’s finding it a lot more work than usual.

I admire her efforts. Setting up a trip that will end up including around 30 people is not easy, particularly an international one. She has to take care of everything from booking things all the way down to researching how our Blackberries will work, how much a second suitcase will cost to check and how to go about getting tube passes. Then there’s the issue of money. For me, I grew up using pounds and pence. She grew up with dollars and cents. Even how to say the amounts of money is new for her. She’s getting the hang of it though and the trip is coming together nicely. It’s actually quite fun- it’s like I’m Harry Potter trying to show Mr. Weasley how to deal with the muggle world.

I think it’s going to end up being a lot of fun. I think my biggest dilemma will be trying to decide if I’d rather go shopping at Harrods with a gift card from the office or using the time to do more interesting things like go to the Tower of London. I’m leaning towards the Tower just because I’ve never been there and due to my “Game of Thrones” obsession of late, it seems like the closest thing England has to that world. Being a little dark and twisty, I find the idea of seeing where they used to put heads on pikes and conduct torture to be rather intriguing. I know that’s a little sick but, well, it’s more interesting to me than seeing something like the crown jewels.

It’ll be nice to get back to England. It’s been a couple of years since I went back and I’d like to see my grandparents again. If timing had worked out better, I’d actually see my mother there too- she’s leaving for a trip to the UK tomorrow but she gets back about three weeks before I leave.

It’s definitely something to look forward to and even on not-so-great days at work, it’s a reminder that there are good days too and those good days can lead to trips to England. I can’t wait.

Happy Wednesday! (And Bon Voyage, Mummy Monkeypants- have a safe trip!)

Tomato Riches

2011-08-22T19:03:00.000-07:00

This week is going to be a week that is all about tomatoes.

That sounds like an odd thing to say and, really, when I reread it, it is an odd thing to say. However, it’s perfectly true.

You see, on Saturday, before we went to the Herb Festival, my mother and I stopped by her local farmer’s market. Last time I went, I scored a deal on a bushel of tomatillos. I turned those into a large batch of salsa verde which is now residing in my freezer.

Well, this time, the same kind farmer who sold me my bushel of tomatillos offered me a deal on his tomatoes. I had every intention of buying some of his tomatoes because I’m still waiting for what’s left of my heirlooms to ripen as well as all my other tomatoes. He had lovely heirlooms and I planned on getting a few.

Well, he offered to sell me the entire flat of tomatoes for the low price of $6. This ended up being approximately 10 lbs of tomatoes. No, I’m not kidding.

Of course, I said yes. I would have been an idiot not to take him up on his offer. In Jungle Jim’s, a pound of heirlooms typically runs about $4.99/lb so you can see why I was so excited to get my tomatoes.

I carried the tray to my car with my mother’s help. It was quite heavy. It was also quite a lot of tomatoes. I gave my mother a couple and that left me with approximately 9 lbs. Since she’s going off to the UK this week and my dad isn’t much on heirloom tomatoes, I couldn’t persuade her to take any more.

Which means I am going to have a very tomato-y week. I did make one batch of marinara with them which I plan to freeze and enjoy during the winter months. I’m also planning on making some pico de gallo as well as a tomato tart. Tonight, I’m going to try an heirloom tomato and mint salad.

It’s a good way to find creative uses for tomatoes. My goal this summer is to make sure I have some food squirreled away for the winter that makes me feel a little taste of summer when I go to eat it during the cold months. It’ll be nice to open a Ball freezer jar of marinara sauce when it’s defrosted and know that the tomatoes were fresh when it was made and the basil and oregano came straight from the garden. As much as I like the winter, as a veggie lover, I miss the freshness of summer. Sure, thanks to modern technology and preservation methods, you can still buy tomatoes in February in any grocery store. However, they simply don’t taste the same. They don’t have nearly as much flavour and end up being a poor substitute for a tomato fresh picked from the garden.

So, I hope that I’m going to counter that by utilizing my large amount of tomatoes. I find them far more versatile than the tomatillo bushel I had a few weeks ago. It’s far more exciting to have tomatoes. I know that sounds like a weird thing to say but I will admit, vegetables make me very happy. Again, this is a strange thing to admit but it’s the truth. Vegetables force me to get creative with my cooking. I find little more fun than taking my burlap tote to the farmer’s market and filling it to the brim with beets, squash, tomatoes, potatoes, corn and beans. The great thing is that I always end up using every vegetable I buy. I’m not a vegetarian by any means but I could probably live as one if I had to someday.

I realize that my fascination and love for veggies is a little bit of a peculiar thing to blog about. However, it’s Monday and the alternative is for me to blog about how I don’t like Mondays and I find that I do that a little too often. Thus, tomatoes and vegetables seem like a nice alternative. And yes, I realize that technically tomatoes are fruits not vegetables but I find when people point that out, it’s annoying. To me, a fruit is something you can bake in a pie for dessert. You certainly can make a tomato pie or tart but that’s not dessert, that’s an entrée. You should be able to make ice-cream from fruit to be enjoyed on a hot day from an ice-cream cone. I’m sure some gourmet has made tomato ice-cream but, really, would you want to eat tomato ice cream on the beach?

I know there’s some scientific, herbolistic reason that tomatoes are considered fruits but I think those scientists and herbologists should run the “Ice Cream Equation” by each other next time they designate if something is a fruit or vegetable. Would you go to the store to buy a pint of tomato ice cream? No? Then TOMATOES SHOULDN’T BE FRUIT.

Sorry. I digressed. I actually didn’t realize I felt quite as strongly about the fruit/vegetable classification system. Apparently I do.

Back to my original point: In short, I have to say, there are far, far worse things to deal with than having a large array of tomatoes to use. I’m quite sure I will find a way to use them all up one way or another.

My theory is this, to paraphrase Dale Carnegie: When life gives you a giant box of tomatoes, make marinara. Or Salsa. Or salad. Or a tart.

Happy Tuesday!

Herbs, Pigs and Green Cards...Oh My

2011-08-21T16:04:00.000-07:00

This is yet another weekend gone too fast. After the rough week of work last week, it seems as though the weekend should rightfully have been longer but alas, I write this on the eve before another Monday, really wishing that somehow an extra day could simply be added to every weekend for everyone.

Nevertheless, Sunday evening it is and thus, the weekend is waning.

It's been a nice weekend though. I drove back to my parents. As has become an annual tradition, my mum and I went to the Wabash Herb Festival in Wabash, Indiana. Unlike last year, we had a lovely dry day. It was, as usual, a lot of fun. There's something completely relaxing walking around placed like that. It's fun to just look and see, poke a little fun at the Society of Creative Anachronism and just generally enjoy both the day and time with my mother. We both ended up with some small purchases- I got a new serving platter and a wall hanging and mum got a couple of plants and a few other bits to begin working on a miniature garden.

It was just a nice morning. We ended up exploring a little in Wabash too. They have a great pet store there that has pets for sale as well as pet stuff. I was quite charmed by the cute little potbellied pigs. I've always quite fancied having a little pet pig but when I pictured trying to explain to Sookie and Rory that yes, they might enjoy bacon but that doesn't mean little Wilbur is food, I decided against it. Also, I'm quite sure that my parents wouldn't be as willing to pig-sit as they are to dog-sit when I go away. They were very cute though and I enjoyed petting them. The pet store also had the largest pet rabbit I've ever seen. It was apparently only 8 weeks old and it was seriously already bigger than Sookie. Apparently, it can get up to 25 lbs. Pretty fascinating and slightly disturbing.

All in all, it was just a nice day. I love days where we have a rough plan but we can spend time just meandering around and discover new places.

Sunday has been a little less fun simply because I made a discovery that made me feel quite idiotic. My green card is expiring in less than a week. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem unless I travel. And, since I qualified for my free trip to London...I'm going to be traveling. This discovery led to a souring of my mood which I feel a little guilty about since I'm sure I wasn't fun for my parents to be around. Still, I filed online for a renewal and I'm going to call to see how I can go about getting a temporary renewal which I know is possible. It just makes me feel a little stupid since I was very careful to check my passport but, for some reason, I thought my green card expired next year. Silly me. Hopefully everything will work out for the best...It was just a bit of a shock even if it was my own fault.

Still, in spite of that, I had a fun weekend and I was sad to leave my parents to return to the normalcy of my routine. My mother is actually going to the UK on Wednesday so I won't see/talk to her for a while. I'm hoping my dad will come down to visit which will be nice- it's always fun to have one-on-one time with both parents.

So, even though the weekend is coming to a close, it hasn't been wasted. Then again, it's hard to waste a weekend. Although it's back to the grind tomorrow, it's definitely nice to know that in five days, the weekend will be here again. It's the time in between that can be a little tricky but this is the start of a new week full of new hope. Let's hope it's a little better than last week. Even if it's not, I have a good weekend behind me to keep me going.

I like it when life is good.

Happy Monday!

Long and Squirrelly Weeks

2011-08-18T17:55:00.000-07:00

This is turning into one of those weeks. I’m very glad that tomorrow is Friday. I could use a break; this week in the office has been rather stressful.

Our office is not having a great month. We’ve had a string of bad luck with candidates who accept our job, are about to start and then, at the last minute, decide to take a different job. Or, in the case of my coworker and fellow recruiter, he’s had people start a job and then leave within a week. The thing is, this isn’t something we can help. It happens. In the case of the people who leave after a week, it’s usually the same reason that the other candidates don’t end up starting- they find another job that pays a little more and as is so often the case, it’s all about the money.

Today, I had a great candidate who was supposed to start work on Wednesday. I had a bad feeling after not being able to reach him yesterday to set up a time for him to fill out his paperwork. Today he informed me he had a better opportunity and he couldn’t turn it down. He was very apologetic and I know it wasn’t personal but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating.

To top it off, I got an email from the consultant I’d fired unfairly a few weeks ago. He was formerly very nice and polite to me. He was understanding that it wasn’t our fault that the employer didn’t want him back. Then, today, he sends me a rather snotty email informing me that he’s suing us. This, of course, came as a shock because we weren’t expecting it. He wants to be compensated for the cost of traveling and accommodations for the time he worked for us. This would be completely understandable if we hadn’t have paid him a government-decreed per diem to cover the cost of yes, you guessed it, the cost of traveling and accommodations for the time he worked for us. I feel bad. I know he’s angry and he’s doing what he can but from a legal standpoint, the reason we pay a per diem is to avoid this type of situation.

It still made things a little ugly though. It’s just been that type of week.

Still, outside the office, things are a little brighter…for the most part. I did come home and find out that the infamous trampoline had been relocated so that it was less than six feet from my fence which meant I had screaming, bouncing kids even close to my garden than before. Fortunately, I think the move may just have been temporary because Dog Whisperer and Wife moved it back later that night. Either that or they heard me loudly complaining to Mummy Monkeypants about it but since I did that indoors with the windows closed, I doubt it.

The dogs and I had an interesting walk tonight. We got out the front door and were almost immediately mown down by Lemonade Stand Girl on her bike. We jumped out of the way only to see her stop short, slam on her breaks and throw her bike down. She’d spotted something.

That something ended up being a squirrel. The poor creature had clearly fallen from a tree. I instantly felt bad, as though I’d cursed it with my harsh anti-squirrel blog. I thought the creature was dead at first but then I saw it was hyperventilating. The little girl squealed quite loud and asked if I thought it was dead. Meanwhile, my avid little hunters, Sookie and Rory, were pulling like mad because they’d scented the squirrel. They wanted that squirrel badly. The little girl bent down to try to poke it with a stick- I told her to do it gently. Then with no warning, the squirrel lurched up and stagger-flopped over the grass. The little girl squealed again which attracted some of her siblings/friends. Meanwhile, my dogs were whining and salivating, trying to get at the squirrel. The squirrel didn’t do itself any favours by stagger-flopping close to the dogs. I tell you, pulling two focused dachshunds away from their prey is not an easy task. With great effort, I got them away although Rory would NOT forgive me for quite some time. I got rather reproachful glares thrown back at me for the rest of the walk.

I would like to have helped with the squirrel situations but having the dogs meant that the only way it would end is with a dead squirrel rather than a maimed one. My dogs are as sweet as can be, normally. They’re loving, good natured girls, always up for a cuddle. However, when it comes to hunting, they are VERY SERIOUS and they turn into to demon creatures who MUST HUNT. I haven’t decided if they’re hunting to kill or just to play with their prizes. So far, aside from one baby bunny last year, it seems that they’re much more focused on substituting their captives for their chew toys. i.e. they get them in their mouth and toss their heads from side to side, trying to get them to squeak.

So, we left the squirrel. I was relieved to see that the kids had got the Dog Whisperer to assist and he was on the scene with a box. The sad reality is that I bet the squirrel didn’t make it through the night but I was glad that someone was helping it. Despite my aversion to the ratty little things, I still don’t like seeing any animal hurt.

It’s just been an odd week. I’m hoping that tomorrow being Friday will automatically make the day good but given the way things have been in the office, I might do better to just hold my breath until the weekend and hope that next week will be full of new hope and new possibilities.

I do, however, hope that next week is a little less full of squirrels. They’re definitely not helping matters. Oops, there I go again…sorry, squirrel. RIP little squirrel who fell from the tree.

Happy Friday!

Oops..Sorry Squirrels?

2011-08-17T17:50:00.001-07:00

It turns out I may have been blaming the squirrels unjustly for the eating of my tomatoes. According to Possibly-Joe, there’s a groundhog living in the garden that’s diagonal to mine. He’s seen it a few times and his dog desperately wants to eat it.

Possibly-Joe has a rat terrier named Chloe that he ties out on a long chain in the garden. He doesn’t have the luxury of a fence the way I do and Chloe is a bit of a runner. There have been several times when I’ve seen Chloe squeeze out the back door when he’s going through and he’s run around the neighbourhood trying to chase her. He’s done it barefoot a few times too. So far, he’s always caught her. He has my sympathies. When I was a kid, my dad had a thing for Afghan Hounds so we had a couple of them. Afghan’s are REAL runners- if they have the space, they will run. There were several occasions when they managed to get out of our yard and we had to chase them like maniacs all around the neighbourhood. It was never fun, always embarrassing and always a triumph when we caught the dog. So Joe has my sympathies.

Anyway, I know about the groundhog because while I was squirrel-proofing my tomatoes last night, Possibly-Joe came out to chat. This was while the Trampoline Gang was at their wildest and I’d desperately been trying to ignore their yelling. Possibly Joe clearly felt the same way I did because the first thing he said to me was, “as if their dogs weren’t bad enough, now we have a trampoline.”

It made me smile. It’s nice to have catharsis in knowing you’re not the only one who’s irritated at something. I was starting to feel like a cranky old spinster because I can’t sit out on my patio anymore without it having the soundtrack of the kids next door. I mean, I am glad they’re able to keep amused and have fun playing but the selfish part of me wished they didn’t have to do it next door while I’m trying to relax.

Possibly Joe had a gripe about Dog Whisperer’s beasts and how they drove Chloe nuts and then he complained about how the kids on the trampoline liked to wind up Chloe which got her upset. I listened with sympathy. As I suspected, Dog Whisperer and Wife didn’t do themselves any favours by installing the trampoline. I know that their yapping dogs drive quite a few people crazy as I’ve mentioned before. However, add to that a trampoline full of shouting kids…they’re not exactly going to be the most popular house on the block.

Anyway, after Possibly Joe was done with his complaints, he mentioned that there was also a groundhog living next door to him which Chloe kept trying to eat. I didn’t know that I had one of the creatures quite so close to my house. Possibly Joe said he’s seen it stick its head up quite a few times and that’s usually when Chloe goes nuts and tries to eat it. Fortunately, her chain doesn’t go that far.

I was surprised. I’ve never seen the groundhog and I can’t help but think that if Rory and Sookie saw it, they, too, would want to join in the Eating of the Groundhog with Chloe. Well, they probably wouldn’t eat it. What would actually happen is that they would bark at it a lot. Sookie would be the leader of the barking and Rory would stand back, trying to be brave like her sister but rather wary anyway. The groundhog would probably stare at the two barking dogs and then saunter off, probably to eat Larry the Potential Serial Killers sweet pertaters or beans. If my girls did get close enough to the groundhog to actually confront it, chances are that Rory would run off, frightened and Sookie would attempt to bravely capture it but would probably run away if it got too close. The groundhog is, after all, bigger than Sook.

The thing is, Sookie thinks she’s a big dog. This is why when we got out walking, she gives no notice to the Chihuahua’s and Yorkies we pass. She barely acknowledges the miniature poodle. No, Sookie likes to stir up trouble when we pass the German Shepherds or the Golden Retriever. She also is quite fond of barking back at the Great Dane we pass by its back gate. Sookie is fierce and she likes dogs to know it except, really, she’s not. She just likes to bark and when they bark back, she hides behind my legs. This is why I know she wouldn’t really fight a groundhog. A squirrel, she’d fight. She has already taken on a rabbit. She likes voles. She’s fond of bugs. Yet when it comes to things that wouldn’t fit in her mouth, she’s not really that fond of getting too close.

Still, now that I know there’s a groundhog, I’m a little more suspicious of my tomatoes. They were awfully large bite marks in them. I assumed that a squirrel had started the job and Rory had finished since I caught her taking a bite yesterday. However, now I know there really is a groundhog living close by, my suspicions have changed. I’m not sure if groundhogs can climb though- I don’t see how else they could have got to my tomatoes without scaling the fence. Still, it does make me wonder if I did blame the squirrels unjustly.

Hopefully, my chicken wire will suffice. Since I managed to cut myself on it as I was setting it up, I decided it might be dangerous to the girls if they ran through on one of their mad energy bursts that causes them to run round the garden on their circular track. In an effort to remind them the wire was there, I tied some very bright orange fabric all over it. If nothing else, I have the most stylish-squirrel deterrent in the neighbourhood.

Still, I’m going to be on the lookout for that groundhog now I know where he lives. I’ll also keep an eye on the girls just in case Sookie tries to play “Catch the Groundhog” which she is likely to attempt to do if she sees it. My guess is that our chain link fence will provide a safety barrier for both parties but you never know.

On the plus side, all that noise from the Trampoline next door probably discourages the creature from coming out as often as it wants to so maybe there is a silver lining to this after all.

Sorry, Squirrels…maybe it wasn’t your fault this time…

Happy Thursday!

Defend and Destroy!

2011-08-16T17:30:00.000-07:00

I despise squirrels. I know I’ve mentioned this before but, once again, my opinion has been justified.

I find them to be rude little creatures. If squirrels were humans, they’d be obnoxious teenagers who’ve had no parenting, treat the world as their playground and talk back to whoever gets in their way. They’re not threatening, per se but no one really wants to deal with them because they’re annoying.

Both Sookie and Rory hate squirrels too. Their hatred is manifested in their desire to capture a squirrel of their very own any time they see one. They whine beneath a tree when there’s a squirrel in it, they pull like crazy if we’re walking and they see a squirrel and they simply cannot understand why squirrels can run up trees and they can’t.

We call squirrels ‘dirty rotten cheaters’ because they sit there, taunting the dogs as we walk, chewing on some item that’s bigger than their heads whether it’s a tomato, a hickory nut, a slice of pizza or an apple and as soon as the dogs get close enough, they run up the nearest tree.

We consider that cheating. I do, however, marvel at how squirrels manage to climb trees without dropping their food items. It’s not fair that my dogs get so close and then the squirrel cheats by running out of reach.

Worse is when the squirrels talk back. They run up the tree and then sit there, making this weird chittering noise that sounds rather like they shouting at my dogs. This, in particular, drives Sookie a little nuts and she gets a little demented in her attempts to try to climb up the tree. Sookie, my sweet but not-as-bright-as-her-sister dog has not yet figured out that she cannot climb a tree. She tries. Oh, but she tries but she always ends up having to concede defeat. She’s a sweetie but there are times when she’s just a little, uh, dopey. Take for example when I try to put her harness on her for a walk. Rory long since figured out that if she steps into each leg hole, buckling the harness is harmless, easy and quick. Not Sookie. Sookie still acts like she thinks I’m going to hurt her when I approach with the harness. When I get her to stay still, I get her to lift a leg to coax her to put her foot in the leg hole. Then the leg stays lifted and I suddenly have a Three Legged Dachshund. She has stood like that for quite a while. I usually get her to put it down by manually lifting her other front leg. Of course, by this time, the first leg is no longer in the leg hole of the harness but it’s worth a shot. Of course, she ends up keeping this leg lifted for a while and we repeat the process until the harness is actually on. So, her constant attempts to climb trees are expected and, well, endearing.

I digress. Back to the squirrels.

Squirrels make our walks more interesting. There are huge amount in our neighbourhood and so when the weather is cool and breezy, they’re out in full force, gathering food and generally being obnoxious.

I can handle them on our walks. It takes a little wrangling to persuade two enthusiastic dachshunds that squirrels aren’t actually food and thus it’s not worth chasing them but it does keep our walks interesting.

I can’t handle them in the garden, however. There are a couple that live in my neighbour’s trees. They run around, jumping from fence to tree branch to bush to fence and so on. They torment Sookie and Rory by perching on the top of our chain link fence, doing that chittering thing a mere three feet above where Sookie stands on her back legs desperately trying to reach them. No matter how high she jumps she can’t quite bag herself a squirrel. The squirrel, meanwhile, clearly enjoys inflicting torment. I half expect them to pelt my dogs with acorns and berries. For all I know, they do.

The worst part is that they’re thieves and sneaks. Twice now, I’ve noticed that my lovely heirloom tomatoes are starting to ripen and I get excited. I decide that I’ll let them ripen a little more and then I’ll pick them. Lo and behold, twice now on my two largest tomatoes, I’ve gone out the next day to discover half-demolished tomatoes ridden with squirrel-sized toothmarks. The tomatoes are no good and I have to throw them away. They also eat my cherry tomatoes and I find them strewn on the ground, half-eaten. Honestly, I’d rather the bloody creatures just ate the whole tomato. At least then, it wouldn’t seem so obnoxious and wasteful.

The dogs are no help because the squirrels attack my tomatoes while they’re inside and I’m at work. Or they do it at night. I still blame Wife of Dog Whisperer who used to plant tomatoes strictly for the squirrels. They’ve got a taste now and since mine are gourmet tomatoes, heirlooms and lovely, they’re hell bent on eating them.

It’s time to declare war. I have some chicken wire that I’m going to attempt to use to secure the perimeter of my tomato patch. Rory and Sookie won’t like it because I’ve caught them having a bite out of the already squirrel- decimated tomatoes when they think I’m not looking. I suppose they smell of squirrel because they won’t eat tomatoes if I offer them normally.

I’ve been researching other ways of getting rid of squirrels. The internet recommends using dog hair around the plants. Since my girls are shedding rather a lot, I’ll use my Furminator on them tonight and try that method too. I’ve also given the dogs permission to seek and destroy but, alas, that’s not having any more effect than their usual attempts to seek and destroy. Apparently, they don’t need my permission.

I’m hoping to salvage the last of my heirlooms. I have a couple more and I’ve been waiting ages to pick them and enjoy them so you can see why the squirrels have inspired my ire. If I succeed in eating at least one of the delicious fruits that isn’t laden with bitemarks, I’ll be happy.

When it comes to my vegetables, it’s serious business. I will take no prisoners. Those squirrels have messed with my tomatoes for the last time.

Now, if only I could tell them that.

Happy Wednesday!

Trampoline Trials

2011-08-15T17:05:00.000-07:00

I find that as I get older and wiser, there are more and more things for which that I wish I could go back in time or retroactively apologize.

When I was growing up in England, our neighbourhood had a lot of kids. We would run around during the summer until all hours, playing our kid games and just having a fine old time. There would be other days where we’d do things like catching bumblebees off our neighbours’ lavender bush. There would be other days where we’d ride our bikes like demon riders, screaming and shouting the whole time. We’d play games like tennis and cricket and rounders and inevitably our ball would end up in the next-door neighbour’s garden and we’d have to ask for it back.

One of our neighbours was an old lady named Mrs. Olly. She didn’t like us much and we dreaded asking her for our ball back. She would shout at us and tell us to stop making so much noise. We used to laugh at her and dare each other to go get the ball.

Nowadays, I feel a little more sympathy for poor Mrs. Olly. I didn’t see this coming. One day, I’m a care free child, not worrying about the rest of the world around me, living in the now and just having a good time. Then, thirty years later, I’m seeing things through another point of view: That of a neighbour who’d just like a little peace from the neighbourhood kids.

It makes me feel rather bad for Mrs. Olly. I’ve had a few occasions where Son of Dog Whisperer is playing catch with himself in the back yard and he’s thrown the ball in my garden. Since the incident where he left my back gate open after, I suspect, retrieving his ball from my yard, I’ve chained that particular gate so that it doesn’t get left open again. This, however, means that whenever Son of Dog Whisperer’s ball lands over the fence into my garden, he comes to my front door, rings the bell and I have to go retrieve it.

It’s not so bad unless I’m trying to do something like cook dinner or read. However, I definitely have a little more sympathy and a whole lot more guilt towards doing the same thing to poor old Mrs. Olly. I know, I sound like a curmudgeon. I probably am a curmudgeon.

It’s just that I tend to try to be quite tolerant in the beginning. Sometimes, I tend to be too tolerant of the neighbour kids. See the Lemonade Stand Incident. Also, this weekend, I sold an old Game Boy at my yard sale for a very good price and I gave the kid a game to go with it it. He’s a young teen who lives three doors down from me. Yesterday, just as I’d finished breakfast, my doorbell rang. He wanted to know if I had any more games for the Game Boy he’d bought from me. Politely, I said I’d look and I’d let him know next time I saw him which is pretty often since I walk by his house with the dogs every day.

I did look for more games because I promised even though I think I only ever had three to begin with and I’d sold them at the yard sale. I figured I’d tell him that he was out of luck. I couldn’t help feeling it was a little assumptive in the first place to go ask someone that after the yard sale is done but he’s about 13 and that isn’t always the most common sensical age for boys.

I didn’t have to wait. He rang my doorbell just a couple of hours later, following up. He seemed very disappointed that I didn’t have any more games but I did tell him to look on Ebay. He bought the Game Boy, the game and the charger with a nice case for $5 so it wasn’t like I’d ripped him off. I only hope that he doesn’t come back to triple check. I don’t know how many ways I can tell him no without being a little short about it.

Still, he seems like a nice boy even if he is a bit persistent. I don’t mind him as much as I’m starting to mind Son of Dog Whisperer. I try very hard to be friendly to the child. I know he has some type of learning disability and, frankly, he’s a bit of a weird kid. Yet I try to treat him nicely even when he bugs the crap out of me. I do find it a wee bit disconcerting when he stands in the middle of my lawn, doing that “HUT!” thing with his football while appearing to stare in my window. Sometimes, when he’s playing alone, he plays with a light saber and he just walks up to me when I’m working outside, doesn’t say anything, points the light saber at me and walks away, muttering something incomprehensible.

All this, I can deal with. It’s just when he’s with his little pack of ruffian friends that I’m starting to get annoyed. In general, as a pack, they have that arrogance that only packs of children can have. They ride their bikes in the road with that confidence that the cars will swerve to avoid hitting them so they don’t really have to look where they’re going. Sometimes, one of the older girls will ride her bike, pulling a younger one who is crouched on a skateboard, behind her. They’re connected by a long rope and there are times when the skateboard is on one side of the intersection and the bike at the other. It scares me and I’m not even sitting on the damn skateboard but the kids seem to think it’s fun. All it would take is one of the cars to zoom through the neighbourhood, unfamiliar with its layout and geography of our Stop Signs and that child would be in some serious trouble.

The two little girls are siblings to Kenny who appears to be Son of Dog Whisperer’s BFF. As a group, they’re loud and obnoxious. They have no problem yelling at people when they pass by. They leave crap all over the path ways and their bikes are often cast aside wherever they feel like jumping off and running.

All this, I could deal with. It is annoying but I figure it’s penance for the years of my wild childhood and playing in the streets.

Now, it’s got worse. Son of Dog Whisperer now owns a large trampoline. The trampoline sits in the back yard. It’s got one of those ‘safety’ nets around it though I’m not sure what purpose it serves as the kids seem to be able to climb under the net and it doesn’t seem to be very stable.

For the past three days, those kids have squealed and screamed and run around Son of Dog Whisperer’s back yard like a pack of wild hyenas. They bounce and squeal. They fight constantly. They throw things at one another. Then they bounce so more.

I suppose from the point of view of his parents, buying the trampoline seemed like a good idea. Son could get some exercise and have something outdoors to do with his friends. Yay, trampoline.

Though…not yay. I can tell you what will happen. For the first few weeks, Son of Dog Whisperer and friends will bounce a lot. They will view it as a novelty. Then…they’ll get bored. The weather will get cold and that giant trampoline will sit there, gathering puddles, killing the grass underneath and just basically being a giant space-waster.

My sister has a trampoline. I’ve had friends who had trampolines. Unless a child aspires to be a professional trampoline-ist, chances are that bouncing will get old quite quickly. It’s like bouncing on the bed as a kid. It seemed like fun for a while but then it ended up being rather monotonous and that was that.

I know, I know…I sound REALLY crotchety, cranky and old. It’s just that for the entire duration of living in my house, I’ve suffered the yipping and barking of the Beasts of Dog Whisperer. There’s no control there. No matter how much I try to befriend the dogs, they keep yipping at me. Son of Dog Whisperer has been a wee bit of a pain but until the trampoline, it was easy to escape from.

Now, he and his friends are outside ALL the time. Good for parents of the child. Not so good for me who enjoys a little sanctity by looking at my vegetables and sitting out on my patio, reading. My reading is now punctuated with BOUNCE-SQUEAL-“HEY LOOK AT ME!”- “YOU’RE A DORK”- “NO, YOU’RE A DORK!” “WELL, YOU’RE A GIRL. GO AWAY. BOYS ONLY!”

I’m trying to be tolerant but, alas, it’s hard. There’s no escape and there’s very little I can do. The child is entitled to his trampoline. He’s entitled to play with his friends. He’s even bloody well entitled to that lemonade stand of his. It’s just that there are times when I can’t help but wish the neighbours could have a say in what’s allowed and what’s not. I can guarantee that those dogs wouldn’t be so noisy and there’d be no trampoline, that’s for sure.

Still, for now, I’m starting to contemplate that privacy fence again. I’m also mentally atoning for all of the times I probably had the same effect on my neighbours when I was a child. It’s a vicious cycle and now I feel bad. Poor Mrs. Olly and the other sufferers of our childhood oblivion.

I suppose the small thing to be thankful for is that we never had a trampoline because then, I’d feel really bad.

Ok…that’s my complaining for the day. It is Monday, after all…tomorrow will be better and Wednesday even best because that’s when the kids go back to school.

Poor kids. Happy Neighbours. I can live with that.

Happy Tuesday!

People Studies: Lessons from a Yard Sale

2011-08-14T09:04:00.000-07:00

So, I had my yard sale this weekend. It went about as smoothly as any yard sale could go. Having been to quite a few garage/yard sales in the past, I've learned what works and doesn't work and I was well prepared for mine.

It actually went off without any hiccups. It was supposed to be the annual neighbourhood yard sale but there weren't many participants. The first year I lived here, there were a ton of sales. Last year, there were less. This year, there were even less. However, I was fortunate enough to be part of a cluster. There was one next door at Mr. Enormous Trouser's house and two across the street at the older folks' homes.

Being in a cluster is good. When I got yard/garage sale-ing, I look for clusters. It makes it worthwhile to find somewhere to park becuase you're getting more for your time.

I did have an early start to the day. My intention was to take the girls for a walk and check out to see how many sales looked like they were going to be set up. Then I'd come home and set up since the sales weren't supposed to start until 9 a.m. It was a little alarming that by 7:15 a.m. when we started on our walk that both Mr. Enormous Trousers and the lady across the road were already setting up but we went for our walk anyway. I did notice that as we walked on by, some 'early birds' were already converging on the lady across the street's sale. This was the reason I had planned on setting up later. Also, since Mrs. Enormous Trousers is an Avon lady, that's primarily what they sell at their sale and it takes a lot more time to set up than my bric-a-brac.

However, I set up by 8:30 a.m. and was ready for my first customers who arrived as soon as I went to sit in my chair and peruse my magazine. My last customers came right aroun 1:45 p.m. In between the first and last, I learned a lot about people. I think if you want to study human beings, having a yard sale is a great way to do so. Here are a few things I learned:

1) People are very, very cheap. Sure, they pretend that they're just like to get a bargain but what this means is that they're cheap. If I'm selling a high quality musical piano for $30 when it costs about $120 brand new, NO, I WILL NOT sell it for $5. Be realistic. Yes, ok, so I came down to $20 because a young boy fell in love with it and both his parents were encouraging and, well, I'm a sucker but $5? Come on.

2) See #1. I had lots of nice messenger bags to sell. Some even had the tags still on them. I was selling them because I simply didn't need them nor do I have the space. When they're priced at $1 and they have a TAG ON THEM that says they were originally $10, do you really think I'm going to be happy when you offer me $.25? Come on. It's a dollar.

3) People are cautious. Someone asked if I had bedbugs before she purchased some books. Firstly, ewww! Secondly, even if I HAD bedbugs, do you really think that I would confess it in front of a yard full of people browsing my stuff? Thirdly, ewww! (I don't have bedbugs, for the record). Of course, as fate would have it, my nice Terminex inspector did decide to come and check up on the house after the problem back in May DURING MY YARD SALE but fortunately, she wasn't in her company truck and secondly, she came during a quite time. Oh...Murphy, your laws are funny.

4) People are discriminating. I had a little side table that I got for $12 at IKEA and was in mint condition (AND ASSEMBLED, take that, IKEA!) that I was selling for $2. I thought that was reasonable. I also used the table to display other items for sale. I had one lady take everything off said table, flip the table upside down, inspect it for about five minutes, put everything BACK on the table and then sigh and walk off. Lady, it was a $2 table, you're not going to find a designer stamp on it. Sorry.

5) People always have a story. I had a lovely dog carrier on sale. I originally paid $45 for it and got it for Sookie when I went to claim her. Since I ended up coming home with a Rory and a Sook, it was already too small. I had it up for sale with the original tags and paperwork for $20. A lady came and asked if I'd take $10. I said no. Then she launched into a story about her friend who rescued baby animals like racoons, possums and skunks. She works for a non-profit, has no funds to buy stuff but does it because she loves animals. I said I could take $15. We ended up at $12. What can I say, I'm a sucker. Also, I happen to think baby racoons are adorable and living with my parents who live on a major highway, we did have a few occasions where we were asked to foster baby racoons after their mothers were hit on the road and they were left abandoned so she hit a personal note. The lady was nice and even came back to thank me again and tell me all about her own experiences as a skunk rescuer/expert. She studies skunks.

6) People are cheap (yes, I know, I covered this in #1 and #2) but it's still true. I'm sorry but a Sony Playstation One with controller, power adapter and two games is a bargain at $5. Sure, the Playstation One is out of date and irrelevant but you can still find games on Ebay and it still works. I'm sorry but no, I will not take $1 for the whole pack. The same goes for the 27 inch TV I was selling and had marked at $10. It's a working TV that served me well for the entire time I lived in L.A. and until last year when I caved and upgraded to an HDTV. I will NOT take $1 for the TV. I did end up taking $7.50 but that was only because it was really heavy and I didn't fancy lumping it back inside.

7) Kids can be cute. I had a box of toys with an old pirate sword I had for a costume once. A little boy who was about five saw it and his entire face lit up. He literally dived into the box to claim it and he was NOT letting that go for anything. He even looked suspicious that I'd take it back when he proudly came to give me his quarter. The same goes for the little girl who couldn't have been older than four who proudly picked out an old Eeyore, Teletubby and a bear from my toy box and was so excited when I said she only had to pay fifty cents even though they were a quarter each. Kids can be so cute.

8) Kids can be a pain in the rear. Son of Dog Whisperer and his friends drive me a little crazy. For one thing, Son of Dog Whisperer oddly decided that my front lawn was his 'football practice field' at about 9:30 a.m. He proceeded to put his football down and do that thing that football players do at the beginning of the game- you know, where they're leaning with one arm down on the ball and the other pointed to the sky right before they do that "Hut" thing? Oh, you know what I mean. Anyway, Son of Dog Whisperer kept doing this except he just stayed in that pose for quite some time. It was a wee bit creepy, truth be told. I was a little annoyed he was on my lawn but since he wasn't doing any harm, I figured I'd let it go. Of course, that was before he actually started throwing the ball. At one point, he threw it and it hit some of my yard sale stuff at which point I told him he needed to stop throwing the ball and go play in his own yard. He did stop throwing the ball but didn't get out of my yard. The annoying part is that at some point, BOTH Of his parents were outside, doing stuff and only one time did Wife of Dog Whisperer say "Did you ask [captain monkeypants] if you could play in her yard?". When Son of Dog Whisperer said no, that was it. There was no scolding, no "Well, you should." It was clearly a formality that his mother asked. Even if I did tell them that I'd prefer it if he stayed off my lawn, it wouldn't stick. I know Son of Dog Whisperer has some kind of learning disability so I feel doubly bad for being such an old curmudgeon but, well, it's MY lawn...They have their own yard.

7) People can be creepy. There were a couple of older men who were walking around the sales. Two of them seperately sidled up to the table where I was sitting, looked around shiftily and asked if I had "any gold or guns?" Well, no...sorry, I'm not a gold and guns kind of gal. One of the men was quite persistent about the gold. He wanted me to go in my house and check. He even showed me his little scale where he could weigh my non-existent gold. Since I'm not in possession of much gold, I tend to prefer silvery jewelry over gold and most of my jewelry isn't exactly high quality anyway, I didn't oblige. Besides, I wasn't about to abandon my yard sale to find gold for Mr. Creepy. I had at least two others come by later and ask if I had any gold or guns. It sounded a bit too Old West for me, honestly. What, do they think I've got a collection of Smith and Wesson rifles and gold bullion bars under my floorboards?

8) If it's free, someone will want it. I had a set of curtain rods with brackets that I took down from my Tuscan room when I redid it. They were sturdy and in good shape but no one wanted them for $2. Later, when it was getting obvious I'd be making a Goodwill run to donate the stuff I didn't sell, I marked the curtain rods as free since I wouldn't get anything by giving them to Goodwill. Lo and behold, within seconds, someone took them. I know it's a bad economy but they were only $2 to begin with!

9) No matter how cheap something is, someone always wants it cheaper. I was offered a dime a couple of times for an item I'd priced at a quarter. Yes, this is a variation on #'s 1,2 and 6 but...well, I know people like to bargain and get a deal but, really, you don't think a quarter for something is a deal? Really? Even when it's in the original packaging and looks pretty new? A dime? Really? Sigh.

10) People buy the stuff you don't expect to sell and leave the stuff you had trouble deciding to sell anyway. I had a few treasures that I had reluctantly decided to sell because I didn't use them much and they took up space even though I liked them. No one wanted these. They wanted the, uh, junk I had decided to try to sell and intended to donate afterwards. This included the pair of slightly-too-big hideous patent leather shoes with a giant bow that I had bought used for a 1980's costume party ($1!), the terrible French cookbook that was only $1 from the dollar store and proved to be...terrible (I got my $1 back!) and the shower curtain rings that were a pretty bronze colour but were terrible because a) they weren't closed all the way and whenever you opened the shower curtain, they'd slide off the rail. Also, they left a nasty brown powdery residue where they rubbed against the shower curtain rail. I made $2 on those! Meanwhile, my lovely Mikasa Christmas oil/vinegar/salt/pepper cruet set didn't sell for $3 (I decided to keep it after all) nor did my nice new-ish pink and khaki messenger bag for $1. That old "Someone else's junk is someone else's treasure thing is very true."

All in all, it was a successful sale. I sold 75% of everything, made a little money though, because people are (say it with me) cheap, I didn't make as much as I should and I had a nice time meeting some of my neighbours. Of course, I did have two sulky dogs who couldn't figure out what I was doing out there all day and I got quite sunburned because after a while, you cannot scoot back under the overhang of the house anymore without being indoors- thus, I was in the sun a lot. Sure, Son of Dog Whisperer did eventually find his 'posse' which, sadly, still doesn't include Raymond and they converged on my sale, threw a bunch of the toys on the floor and then ended up only buying one weird little dolphin snowglobe thingy for 25 cents but it was an interesting day. Afterwards, I confess, I was a little exhausted but there was something satisfying about taking my last few boxes of stuff to Goodwill and knowing that even by just a little, I'd decluttered my house a bit.

It's entirely possible that I'll build up more clutter over the next year and decide to have another sale when the next Annual Neighbourhood Sale date comes around next year. I think if that happens, my strategy will be to double the price on everything so that when people offer me less, it'll seem like a deal to them even though I'll secretly be making what I actually wanted to make on an item. You live and learn...right?

Happy Monday!

Back to School and Balmy Days

2011-08-11T19:13:00.000-07:00

It’s a beautiful day out there today. We’ve finally broken our heat and humidity streak and the weather is positively beautiful.

It made it incredibly hard to be inside at work today. It’s going to be even harder tomorrow since it not only is supposed to be equally as gorgeous but also, it’s Friday and it’s never easy to concentrate on Fridays anyway.

Still, I’ll give it my best shot. Of course, I’m already a little preoccupied with preparing for the Great Garage Sale of 2011 but I’m making progress. Except for those random strolls through the house- both mental and physical- where I try to find other items to sell, everything is priced and ready to go. It took a while but I think I’m ready. There’s a lot of things to do tomorrow night to be ready for setup on Saturday but I think that I’ll just make a list.

Of course, there is a chance of rain on Saturday. I’m dearly hoping it holds off until the afternoon. I’m selling and awful lot of items that wouldn’t really do well in the rain.

However, I’m very much keeping my fingers crossed that this lovely weather continues. I think sitting outside in 84 degree weather with a light breeze will be rather nice. Given that a week ago we were up near 100 degrees with stifling humidity, things could be much worse.

These are typically the Dog Days of Summer. It’s unusual for us to have the hot weather in July and cooler weather in August. I can’t remember the amount of back-to-school first days where we’d dress in our new clothes which were really designed for more autumnal weather and we’d be hot and sticky as soon as we stepped outside.

It’s strange that it’s already that time of year. The stores are all full of school supplies and the aisles full of sulky kids who clearly don’t find joy in having to buy new pens, notebooks and the like because it means their freedom is over.

I remember this time of year too. I always liked school but was never terribly fond of the social aspect of school. I was one of the kids who cared what people thought so I’d worry about trivial stuff like where my locker would be, would I get it open, what if I dressed wrong on the first day and what if I didn’t have any of my friends in my classes. Now I look back, it really does seem a little silly because the things seem so minor. Yet they weren’t minor to me back then. They’d be the kind of silly things that I’d think about and not be able to sleep or, worse, I’d wake up in the night and start thinking about them and couldn’t get back to sleep.

It’s amazing how our perspective changes with experience. Not getting my locker open or wearing the wrong shirt used to matter to me because I wanted to fit in. I used to pretend I wanted to be a rebel but, deep down, like so many other kids, I just wanted to be accepted. Looking back, I now know that it was a pretty common fear and probably at least half the kids I wanted to be accepted by probably felt the same way I did.
Yet I didn’t know that back then. I was stuck in the awkwardness of my teenage years, trying to find self-confidence and self-esteem and trying to hold onto them. As I’ve grown older, I do still struggle with these things but never the way I did back then. It’s just not as important as it used to be. What is important now wasn’t even on my radar back then: having a job to pay the bills, being able to provide for myself and the dogs, being able to find time to see my family regularly and just generally finding contentment in the small things.

I do still remember the days of having to go back to school though. They’re not quite distant enough to be foggy and blurred in my mind. Thus, I do still have sympathy for all those students I see having to go back-to-school shopping. For the mob of kids in my neighbourhood who ride their bikes and run around until it starts to get dark, their reign of freedom is drawing to an end. It won’t be long until they’re no longer running around shirtless or in swimsuits up and down the street, yelling and, instead, they’re dressed and waiting for the school bus in the morning, sluggish and miserable and dreaming faintly of the carefree summer that’s just slipped out of their fingers.

I do remember those days and the cloud of commitment that rises up at the beginning of August and stays there until somewhere at the end of September when school has become a familiar routine, it vanishes and the summer is but a distant memory.

Of course, even though I do remember those days, the adult in me has to admit, I quite prefer it when the kids are back in school. There are far less near-misses as one of the kids zooms out into the road on his/her bike without looking even though I’m watching for them anyway. It also means far less yelling and screaming outside my house and kids running across my lawn to take a shortcut. Yes, I know…I’m getting old.

But at least I don’t have to go back to school. I can just enjoy the sales on school supplies and use them for fun purposes at home.

Being an adult definitely has its advantages.

Happy Friday and have a great weekend!

Why Hollywood Needs to Stop With the Remakes

2011-08-10T19:17:00.000-07:00

So, I just read something online that irritated me rather a lot. They’re remaking “Dirty Dancing.”

I’d say I don’t know why they’re remaking “Dirty Dancing” but, really, I do…it’s Hollywood and they appear to have thrown creativity out the window in favour of trying to make a quick profit.

It’s sad and rather ridiculous, honestly. I mean, ok…so “Dirty Dancing” wasn’t exactly “Casablanca” or “The Godfather” to begin with. It’s a slightly cheesy film with some rather silly dialogue (“I carried a watermelon,” and “Nobody puts Baby in a corner!” come to mind) but, over time, that dialogue has become classic, quotable and instantly recognizable. There are movies that are just good and then movies like “Dirty Dancing” which come out and everyone just…loves. Take my dad, for example. “Dirty Dancing” is one of his all-time favourite films. Granted, his taste isn’t very…great to begin with, I mean the man must have watched “Starship Troopers” more times than is humanly necessary. However, there’s something about “Dirty Dancing” that made it one of those little movies that could. It resonated with our generation.

When “Dirty Dancing” first came out on video, my friend Amy and I would have sleepovers. We’d creep downstairs after my parents had gone to bed and watch movies. My parents knew but they just couldn’t sit through the same movies over and over the way we could. Amy had a crush on Patrick Swayze so we ALWAYS had to watch “Dirty Dancing.” I (yes, I’m ashamed to admit it) had a huge thing for Tom Cruise and we had to watch “Top Gun” a lot. We were creatures of habit and we knew what we liked.

Even now, I can watch “Dirty Dancing” with a certain fondness. It’s a little dated but it’s still fun. It’s still got that ‘magic’ that made it a phenomenon.

And yet now Hollywood wants to remake it. The original choreographer from “Dirty Dancing” is going to direct.

It seems as though this is happening more and more. We didn’t need a new “Arthur,” but we got one and it was pretty awful. We didn’t need a new “Karate Kid” but we got one and while it featured Will Smith’s cute son, it lacked the fun cheesiness of the real Mr. Miyagi’s waxing on and waxing off. We’re getting a remake of “Footloose” whether we like it or not and I’m sure it’s going to be terrible. Ok, so rewatching the original shows it to be horrible dated. Kevin Bacon’s exclamation of “Jump Back!” when he finds out there’s not dancing allowed in town alone makes the film completely cheesy and silly. Yet it’s a fun cheesy and silly because when “Footloose” originally came out, you couldn’t resist taping your toe and wanting to leap up and dance along to the theme song. It was the 1980’s and it worked.

Maybe the remake of “Footloose” will be good. I’m not holding my breath. It’s too soon to be remaking films from the 1980’s. Give it another 20 years and maybe we’ll talk then. If I, someone in my mid 30’s can still remember renting the video as a new release, it’s too soon. Sorry, but it is.

I have no hopes for “Dirty Dancing’s” remake. Why bother in the first place? The chemistry between Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze made the film what it was. You can’t recreate that. The thrill of waiting for the climactic dancing that follows, “No one puts Baby in a corner!” won’t be the same. You can’t recreate a movie that wasn’t manufactured to be a huge hit….it just became one.

The sad this is, as I said earlier, I know why Hollywood is doing it. They want to make money and they don’t want to lose it. “Dirty Dancing” won’t cost a fortune to make because it doesn’t have any need for flashy effects or big-name actors. It may make some money because the tweenies and teens who think the old one is dated might go see it. More than likely, it’ll be aimed at Glee crowd just as so much crap is these days. Glee appears to be the television equivalent of “Twilight”. It was a huge hit and Hollywood is trying to figure out how to bottle that success and find it elsewhere. They do it by releasing shows and movies that will appeal to the same audience. This is how we got “Red Riding Hood” which is a perfectly awful movie that clearly was made from the same mould as “Twilight” and is just as ridiculous. It’s why we have “The Glee Project” on TV and several other shows about singing and dancing.

It’s just sad though. I probably have a skewed perspective because when I moved to L.A. ten years ago, it was to attempt to become a screenwriter. The trouble was is that without knowing anyone in the industry, there was nothing but closed doors and lack of interest. I think I had some good ideas and I think I could write well but there was no way in. I met other young screenwriters like me who also had the same problem- we couldn’t get read because we weren’t anyone important and there was no time for us.

I’m sure that even though I gave up screenwriting in favour of novel writing, there are still thousands of writers who move to L.A. each year for the same reason. They have great scripts and great ideas but they can’t get an agent to give them the time of day. If they’re lucky enough to pitch their ideas, they rarely go anywhere. It’s disheartening.

I’m sure that some of these unknown screenwriters have actual, real, great ideas. I’m sure some of them even have fantastic scripts. They can’t get the time of day because behind the studio’s creative doors, you’ve got some moron saying, “Hey, let’s remake “Dirty Dancing!”

You get my point. It’s easier for Hollywood to make a quick buck than take a risk and maybe win. Easy and cheap always wins over risky any day. It’s business, it’s not personal.

It’s just when they take something like “Dirty Dancing” that feels as personal as an old, beloved friend you’ve known for more than half your life, it feels rather personal.

Still, it’s going to happen anyway. I suppose we should be lucky that it’s a 20 year old movie. Since they’re already rebooting “Spiderman” even though the Tobey McGuire version is not that old, you have to be thankful that they’re not remaking more recent films. The last thing we need is them to start remaking the “Harry Potter” movies. I mean, after all, the first one is around ten years old now after all.

Nevertheless, I live in hope that this creative drought in Hollywood may end soon and we’ll be back to original scripts. One can always dream, I suppose.

Happy Wednesday!

Preparation for the Great Garage Sale Event of 2011

2011-08-09T19:36:00.000-07:00

I’ve decided having a garage sale is rather a lot of work. In theory, it seems like a good idea. I think it is a good idea. It’s just…a lot of work.

I’ve had the intention of having a garage sale for a while. I suppose since I’m not setting it up in my garage, it’s probably really a yard sale but I like the sound of garage sale better.

I had originally hoped to have a joint one with my sister but since that didn’t look like it was happening, I decided to join in our annual neighbourhood garage sale day which is this Saturday. Naturally, my sister decided to have a sale on the exact same day without telling me. I admit, I was a little irritated. It would have been nice to have a joint sale merely because it’s going to be tough to run one alone. It means that every trip inside to use the bathroom or grab something to drink or check on the dogs will have to be squeezed in quickly in order to make sure that my items being sold are guarded at all times and so that no one has to wait.

So, you can see why I’m a wee bit irritated especially as my sister will have backup from her husband whereas I, the singleton, won’t have backup.

Still, I’m determined to make it work. I don’t have a huge amount of stuff for sale. Mostly what I have are items that I once liked/loved and needed/wanted but over time I’ve either lost my need/want for them or they just don’t suit me. I have a lot of bags, for example. I went through a huge messenger bag phase. When I used to work on a college campus, this was perfectly ok. I had a use for messenger bags. Nowadays, I tend to use either my purse or the bag I got from work. That’s it. I have a bag that I use when I take the dogs to the park. I have another bag to use when I go to my parents. But the other ten bags? I really don’t need them anymore. That’s not an exaggeration, by the way. I have 11 bags/purses for sale.

I also have books, old appliances and some knickknacks for which I could never find a place. Redoing my 1970’s retro den and turning it into a Tuscan haven meant that I had a lot of stuff I’d tucked away in the den that no longer had a place in ‘Tuscany’.

I’m hoping to sell most of it. My strategy is to price is super low. I’m not really in it for the money as much as the ‘purging’. My highest priced item is a dog carrier that I used exactly once. It still has all the paperwork. I paid $45 for it. I bought it for Sookie when I first went to claim her as my own. Of course, when I ended up getting a Rory Gilmore to go with my Sookie Stackhouse dachshund pup, that put a bit of a damper on the small, individual-dachshund sized carrier. The two pups fitted in the carrier once- when I first brought them home. Then they grew and, voila, I had to upgrade to a larger carrier. I’m hoping that $20 won’t seem too much for it but it’s a super nice carrier and still way less expensive than in stores.

Mostly, I’m selling things for 25 cents, one dollar or, gasp, two dollars. I do have a rather lovely evening gown that I’m selling for $5 because while it still zips and technically fits, I’m a bit less of a stick insect than I was when I originally bought it and my curvier figure doesn’t suit the style.

The problem that I’m finding is that I’m a wee bit obsessed with my sale. It’s this coming Saturday and any time I allow my mind to drift and not focus on, say, work, I’m suddenly doing a mental tour of my house and thinking of other items I could stick in the sale.

The actual preparation for the sale is quite time-consuming too. I’ve been placing things that I intend to sell in a pile. Last night, I started to price things, thinking it’d take a short time. I’m not even half-way through. It’s amazing how many things can really fit in a large storage tote.

I plan on spending a little time each evening pricing out my items and making sure everything’s ready to go. Friday, I’ll have a checklist. I have things to do like running an extension cord outside so people can test the electronics I have. I’ll need to get everything ready to lay out. I plan on putting all my boxes of stuff out before I start putting it on the table. Even though the sale is supposed to start at 9 a.m., the irritating early birds will be out way before that. I’ve seen them before- they swarm on any sale that looks like it’s about to begin and start digging through boxes that aren’t even unpacked and ready for selling yet.

I think it’s going to be an interesting experience. I have a feeling Sookie and Rory might agree. Sookie will have plenty of people to guard me from as she watches from the front window. Guarding the house is Sookie’s hobby and any time an ‘interloper’ walks by the house, she lets me know with her “STRANGER DANGER” bark. I’m expecting a lot of “STRANGER DANGER” moments on Saturday.

I think I’ve covered my basis- I have plenty of change. I have a place to store the money. I have a table to sit at and a chair to match. I have a display rack, a table (although I really would have liked the other one my parents could have loaned me but my sister is borrowing that…grr) and a box of toys for the kids to rummage through. My experience of being a buyer at garage sales has taught me what to expect.

All that remains is organizing and pricing which may not seem like a lot of work but it is. I think I’m glad I have a few more days to go because I’d never get done otherwise. Of course, it would probably help if I didn’t keep thinking of new stuff to throw in the sale but I don’t seem to be able to help that.

I’ll keep you posted. Maybe by Friday…I’ll be done.

Maybe.

Happy Wednesday!

Oh, Monday!

2011-08-08T19:53:00.000-07:00

Mondays continue to be my least favourite day of the week. I hate having this bias but it seems like not-good things always happen on Mondays. Three Mondays ago, one of ‘my’ consultants was found dead in his hotel room. Two Monday’s ago, I had to fire someone and last Monday, I had to meet with the consultant who I had to fire for no reason other than the company decided they wanted to bring someone back and didn’t have room for both programmers. This week, one of my candidates managed to get us banned from sending any more cnadidates.

I’m thinking I should just take Mondays off. It might be easier. Today’s incident was due to the fact that despite my strong counseling against mentioning it, my candidate decided to blurt out the fact that he was going to be quitting programming in order to become a lawyer in two years’ time. I promise, I’m not prone to shady counseling. I don’t usually tell my candidates to lie. In this case, I didn’t tell him to lie. I just told him very, very specifically that if he wanted the new job, it would probably be best if he didn’t let them know he might be leaving in two years.

The thing is that in the IT development world, two years is a long time. In my job, I deal with a lot of contractors who feel that more than a six month stint at any job is too much of a commitment. Contractors generally enjoy moving around, trying new companies, working on new projects. It’s not for everyone but there are a lot of folks out there who like the temp jobs because they get variety.

These days, developers are very much in demand. It’s a candidate’s market. They have the freedom to pick and choose when they decide they want a new job and where they end up going. It’s hard to let companies know that. It’s the reason that my old company is desperate for a couple of developers and can’t figure out why they’re not getting any decent resumes. They simply don’t move fast enough. If a Java developer puts his/her resume out on the job boards, they will literally be flooded with calls from recruiters within ten minutes. If you want to work with them, you have to move fast. By the time they’ve interviewed and been offered a job with my company, chances are they already have three other offers on the table.

This is not an exaggeration. This is why it’s hard to explain to big companies that they can’t put a Java developer through two phone screens and two rounds of face-to-face interviews. It’s a nice idea and an definitely the ideal- if you’re bringing a new employee on board, you want to make sure they’re the perfect fit. However, in the present job market, it’s just not feasible if you really want to get someone hired. There simply isn’t time. It’s a nuisance but it’s the truth.

This is all my way of explaining why I told my candidate NOT to mention his lawyer aspirations. I didn’t want him to lie. However, I didn’t want him to mention it because the company where he interviewed still doesn’t understand the revolving nature of working with developers. Two years is a very long time to a developer. To a major company who still does things as they did in the 1980’s, two years is a drop in the bucket and not worthwhile to bring someone on board.

So, naturally, when my candidate DID mention his timeline, the company got a little upset. They were furious with me and my company for wasting their time. I didn’t see it as a waste. I saw it as an opportunity to actually add someone to their staff who was a good developer who wanted to work there. Considering they’ve been trying to fill the position for several months, I saw it as a good option for them.

They did not see it this way. They saw us screwing them over. They promptly informed us that we were not to send any more resumes as the hiring manager refused to work with us.

Obviously, I felt horrible. Even though my boss encouraged me to send the candidate in the first place and encouraged me to remind him NOT to mention his career goals as a lawayer, I still feel that it was my fault. Of course, it really is my candidates fault for not using his common sense but in the long run, there’s nothing we can do. It makes me look like a bad recruiter, it makes my account manager look shady and it doesn’t help our company much.

When I finally asked my candidate why he ended up mentioning his career plan, he said that the interviewer asked him what he liked to do in his spare time so he mentioned law school. I get that, I suppose. It's what he does in his spare time but, well, I can't help thinking if he'd have just said something like...fishing or cooking or hanging out with his wife/kids, that might have been a wee bit more sensible but that would be too much to have hoped...right?

Still, the deed is done. My lesson is learned. Once again, I cannot control what my candidates say and do. It’s just the nature of working with human beings. I don’t always like it but it’s what makes life interesting.

Of course, I also quite like it when things aren’t quite that interesting. I’d actually rather like a Monday where someone doesn’t get fired, die or get us banned from a vendor list. Maybe next week will be better?

Here’s hoping. I’m a firm believer that there’s always hope.

Happy Monday!

A Summer Vacation in a Weekend...

2011-08-07T16:29:00.000-07:00

This has been a really nice weekend. I tend to think almost every weekend is nice merely because it's a weekend but this was a particularly good weekend.

I headed to my parents' on Friday and got to spend a nice evening with them. The pups explored my parents garden which is significantly larger than ours while I had a great time just relaxing with my parents. After a not-so-great week at work, it's nice to relax without having to think too much about work.

Saturday, my sister, mum and I hit the local farmer's markets. I'm a bit addicted to farmers markets in the summer. I came home with a huge bag of goodies including tomatoes, eggplant, corn, swiss chard, beets and an entire bushel of tomatillos. I'm not actually sure what I plan on doing with all those tomatillos, to be honest. I didn't even want that many. However, last year, I bought some tomatillos off my favourite farmer at the market. Then, on my next visit, he ended up giving me all of the tomatatillos that he had left because he was going on vacation and needed to get rid of them. I think I got a bushel for about $4. I made a lot of salsa verde. Well, this year, the farmer remembered me and was excited to tell me he had another bushel of tomatatillos for me and I could have them for $4. He's so nice and so low-priced that I ended up taking the tomatillos off him because he really seemed to want me to have the tomatatillos.

If anyone has any idea what I can do with a giant bag of tomatatillos aside from salsa verde, please let me know.

After the farmer's market, I got to have lunch with Saz who was in town visiting her parents. We had a lovely time just catching up and hanging out with her family and friends at their annual church campout. I only stayed a couple of hours but got to play "Cash SUV" which is the same concept as the TV show "Cash Cab" only Saz's dad drove us around the State Park in an SUV while Saz and I attempted to answer the trivia questions. We determined that neither of us had science or maths as our strong suit though we did well on the literature and history stuff. It was a lot of fun.

My final activity on Saturday was dinner and a movie with my parents. My dad really wanted to see "Cowboys and Aliens". I don't know why. Well, I do...my dad loves cowboys and he loves aliens. I believe they made the movie for people like my dad. It was somewhat entertaining but I can almost hear the filmmakers saying to one another "Let's put cowboys and aliens in the same movie! Brilliant!" Unfortunately, that's pretty much as far as they got with their creativity because the reason for the aliens and cowboys being in the same movie was pretty lame. I won't spoil it but it's pretty anticlimactic. I think the movie could have been a lot funnier but then again, I said that about "Sherlock Holmes" and they're making a sequel to that so maybe I'm in the minority.

Nevertheless, not-terrible movie aside, it was a lot of fun to hang out with my parents. I like being an adult and getting to take them out to dinner and stuff. I figure for the amount of years that they paid for my food, it's nice to treat them now and it makes me feel like a grownup.

The rest of the weekend has been low key. I'm having my first yard sale next weekend so mum and I did some searching for treasures to sell. I'm bound and determined to be one of the good sellers in my neighbourhood- my sale is part of the annual Neighbourhood Garage Sale. I'm pricing stuff super low because I figure even if I make $1 on something, it's $1 more than I got by letting the stuff sit around my house. Most of what I'm selling are things that just don't fit me anymore- as I've grown up and developed more of my own style, I have a lot of things that just aren't me anymore, whether it's clothes, bags, interior decor or books.

All in all, it's been a good weekend. Sookie and Rory are pleased to be home- they don't like the car ride much from home to my parents and vice-versa but they like the destinations. They're currently passed out on the couch since they haven't slept much today- at my parents', there are far too many new smells to explore to get much rest.

Even though tomorrow's Monday, I'm going to start the week with a smile knowing that the weekend has been relaxing and for once, I managed to escape thinking about work as much as usual. I find that sometimes, when you have a real vacation of several days, you end up being more tired than if you at work. And then there are other times where you have just the couple of days of a weekend and you manage to feel like you actually had a lovely long vacation in just those two days. I feel like that tonight and I will say, it's a nice feeling. It's a good way to kick off a new week.

Happy Monday and I hope you had a good weekend too!