I Declare War on the Dog Whisperer!

Today was my Friday at work. We're fortunate enough to get 'Spring Break Friday' (aka: Good Friday) off from work. This is one of the things I like about my company.

It helped that today, it was over eighty degrees here. It was so warm, it felt alien. Even with the days we've had prior, days that are purely Spring- today was definitely the warmest yet.

The bad part about a day like today is that going to work is hard. It's the type of day where you just want to be at home, lazily enjoying the warmth and the sunshine and, in my case, watching the puppies play in the garden.

I did get to do some of that this evening. We had the garden to ourselves with the absence of the Dog Whisperer for a while.

I've had enough of the Dog Whisperer. He's starting to be a little...creepy. My little puppies happily frolic around the garden, amusing one another and exploring the world and then he lets his beasts out. My puppies...continue to frolic around the garden, amusing one another and exploring the world.

His beasts continue to bark.

My puppies continue to ignore them.

Then, to add insult to injury, the Dog Whisperer himself comes out. He comes to the fence. He crouches down...he tries to entice my puppies to go and see him.

My puppies ignore him.

I'm glad about this. I'm trying to train them to be ok with outside stimuli- loud noises and distractions. I don't want them to pay attention to my neighbour.

Unfortunately, I don't think he's going to give up. Two nights ago, for example, I checked to make sure that his ferocious beasts were inside the house before I opened the back door to let the puppies out. I was desperately trying to clean my house and since the puppies are scared of the vacuum, I thought the smart thing to do was wait until they were out of the way.

So I let my puppies out. I whipped around, picking up their toys, getting ready to vacuum. I plugged in my vacuum cleaner and then...I heard yapping. Yes, the Dog Whisperer had let his dogs out.

I was irritated but I realized that all I could hear was his dogs. My puppies were quiet. When I glanced out the window, Rory and Sookie were on the other side of the yard, far away from the yappy dogs.

I started to vacuum. I finished one room and stopped to check on the puppies. They were still minding their own business but now, the Dog Whisperer was crouched at the fence, desperately trying to get their attention.

This is not the first time he's done this. I know the puppies are cute but, clearly, they don't want to know him. To them, he's the neighbour with the annoying dogs and they have sticks they'd rather chew, areas to sniff...they just don't care.

I'm not sure how to take this. I find it slightly creepy that he's trying so hard to get their attention while his own loud and obnoxious dogs continue to bark like there's no tomorrow. I sound like one of those parents when I say this, one of those parents who believes her kids are perfect and it's always the fault of the other kids but, well, honestly...my puppies are being good. It's him who clearly has the problem.

Tonight, I think I've reached the end of my tether. As the warmest day yet, I thought it'd be the perfect opportunity to keep the puppies outside to help them start to realize that it's best to eliminate outside, not in the house. Even though the Dog Whisperer's dogs would continue to bark, I felt like that wasn't our problem and as long as Rory and Sookie ignored them, it was ok.

For the first part of the evening, this was fine. Then, as I was ready to settled down to watch TV for the night, the normal time when the puppies start calming and get ready to sleep, I let them out as I usually do. Then...I heard barking. I waited. The barking continued. This time, it wasn't just the Dog Whisperer's dogs...mine were barking too.

Sighing, already having problems with my DVR and knowing I was going to miss some of my show, I went outside. Lo and behold, it wasn't just the Dog Whisperer's dogs. No, he, his wife, their son and some guests had come out into the yard and were laughing at the puppies. To them, my puppies were cuteness embodied. To my puppies, the laughter and the strange faces combined with the yapping of the annoying dogs was just terror. I tried to coral my puppies...alas, they were overwrought and not sure what to do. They ran.

As they ran, the neighbours chortled and commentated on how funny it was that the puppies were 'so willful'.

No, my puppies were not willful, they were stressed. It was dark out and the neighbours hadn't even put on their porch light. I went out, desperately trying to get the puppies inside so they could calm down while the Dog Whisperer and family continued to commentate on how cute it was. I was too furious to do anything but finally herd the puppies inside.

When I was done, I was angry. I think this might be a telling reason why the Dog Whisperer cannot control his dogs. While I'm trying to be a responsible pet parent, I know I'm slightly indulgent too. However, there's a difference between indulgence and irresponsiblity. If my 11-week-old puppies can play in the yard without yipping at strangers and his significantly older dogs can't, I don't see why I'm the one having to coral my dogs to come inside.

Sorry to vent. It's been a tough evening. Housebreaking is hard enough; when you can't let your dogs out without checking to make sure the coast is clear first, it's way harder. As I've said before, I need a privacy fence. I've even put out an ad on Craiglist to solicit bids. Apparently, even with this bad economy, no one is looking for work that badly.

I suppose I can wait to see if I can get my dad to help me build one. In the meantime, I know I'm going to have to find a way to deal with the Dog Whisperer and his attempts to get the attention of my puppies. Clearly, they don't care so I'm not sure why he keeps trying.

Ah well, at least we're going to my parents' house tomorrow. They'll get a break, at least... In the meantime, I'm about to let them out for the last time tonight. Keep your fingers crossed that the Dog Whisperer has gone to bed.

We can only hope.

Happy Friday and...Happy Easter!

The Yappy Sounds of Spring....

Today was a real spring day. Even though the calendar, technically, still declares it winter, it might be hard to tell mother nature that. When I came out of work, it was a balmy 63 degrees. I didn't need my coat.

It was strange driving home and still being overly warm because I'd dressed for the weather this morning when it was only 34 degrees. It was even stranger to see the mounds of snow still piled high in the car parks where it was frantically shoveled to make way for traffic. The snow piles are really just ice-piles, dirty snow cones of leftover winter detris. Yet on a warm evening, they seemed almost alien.

The snow in my back garden has finally melted. I went outside tonight to try to inspect the fence to make sure that if my puppy comes to live with me, she'll have no escape routes. I also wanted to see how many daffodils, crocuses, tulips and hyacinths were starting to push their way upwards out of the earth.

I made it outside for about five minutes. I was driven inside by my neighbour's dogs. I've now lived here since August and still the blasted things bark as though they've never seen me before. I'd take it personally but I know they bark at anything that moves. I know this because they're often outside at 6 a.m., barking loudly at a sound they heard on the street. Given that they're barking less than 15 feet from my bedroom window, you can imagine how happy this makes me.

I'm not sure what to do. Tonight, my neighbour was actually outside, grilling while the dogs were barking. It wasn't The Dog Whisperer but it was his wife. She shouted at them, once. They ignored her. She made a show of trying to get them to quiet but it became obvious that they weren't going to listen.

Given that I had a bit of a headache and was not in the mood to try, once again, to bond with the dogs in an attempt to quiet them, I ended up going in. I've tried to bond with the dogs. The closer I get to the fence, they louder they get. One of them snapped at me the last time I tried to befriend them.

I admit, I'm a little worried about getting a puppy. She's going to be very tiny and vulnerable and those dogs are big and loud. It's bad enough that I feel like I can't go outside in my own yard without setting the dogs off. What's going to happen when I let my puppy out?

I have no clue what to do. My coworker did give me a device that supposedly lets off a high-pitched whistle, only audible to dogs, when you hit the button. I tried that the other day. It actually seemed to have an effect. It's not, however, the kind of thing you want you neighbours to see you using. I don't think it harms the dogs but they probably wouldn't approve anyway.

I could rant on about how they need to discipline their dogs, teach them to keep quiet but I'm a realist. I know it won't do any good. They're dogs: They bark. They're going to bark. Short of the dogs actually going away, I don't see a solution here.

For me, when I'm outside, I will put my iPod on and block out the yapping. Yet, for my puppy....what happens then?

I'm going to have to think about that. I tell you though, on a nice spring evening, it would have been really nice to wander around my yard, peacefully taking in the signs of spring. Instead, I was subjected to the bark of three dogs who followed my every move. It did rather kill the mood and kill the sereness of the evening.

Still, there's always tomorrow, I suppose. If not, is it a bad thing to take a hose to the neighbour's dogs?

Just kidding.

For now.

Happy Tuesday!

The Weekend is Nigh...

We made it to Friday. It has been one of those weeks that seems to have whizzed by but, at the same time, dragged a little, at least for me.

It's supposed to rain this weekend. I'm actually quite happy about that. It hasn't rained properly in a while and the ground in hard and parched. I've had to water my plants every night which isn't too much of a hardship except for those annoying dogs next door. It's official; the man thinks he is the Dog Whisperer. He even told me this last night as he, in turn, picked up all three dogs and held them up for me to pet.

I did not want to pet the dogs. Especially as it does not good because the moment he puts them down on the ground, they start yapping again. He told me last night that now when they run out, the come to the fence looking for me and that's progress!

Well, in his eyes, that's progress. In my eyes and my ears, they're still yapping the minute they're let out in the yard and they see my movement. I suppose he thinks that's an honour, that they're yapping in greeting. Maybe they are. The problem is...they're still barking and even when I attempt to say hi, they go ballistic.

Ah well, it's one of the joys of suburban living, right?

Speaking of suburban living, let's talk about Nutley 2.0 for a minute. Yesterday when I was driving, I noticed a sad sight: A squirrel had been run over just a few houses down from mine and lay splayed and broken in the road. I did wonder if it was Nutley 2.0 and was a little sad. For all of his mischief, I don't really wish death on the squirrel even if I do sometimes wish to shoot him with a BB gun.

Well, it turned out not to be Nutley 2.0 as I saw him in my yard last night and he brought with him a new problem: Nutley 2.5. Yes, I think Nutley 2.0 has a girlfriend.

I'm almost certain it was a girl squirrel from her smaller size and the way in which Nutley 2.0 was treating her. He ran across the yard, doing this weird happy jumping thing and then he stopped and waited while Nutley 2.5 caught up with him. Then he proceeded to chivalrously wait while she scampered up the tree and he followed her. Then I heard them BOTH chattering at me.

Maybe they were chatting to one another. Having found the half-chewed rose petals the other night, I did briefly wonder if Nutley 2.0 got himself hitched in some bizarre squirrel wedding ceremony. They probably had tomatoes on the buffet for the other squirrels. I hope they invited the bunny as well.

Then I realized that it's probably an odd thing to think about, picturing a squirrel wedding. I mean, they probably don't get married or anything like that. Not that we'd know. As I child, I used to picture all sorts of humanlike goings on with the wildlife once they were away from prying human eyes. I think I probably watched too much "Wind in the Willows" because I used to picture them in little dwellings complete with furniture.

Actually, I still sort of do that but I do, at least, know that it's not likely. I still like to picture it though. It's a lot nicer than thinking of an insect ridden nest that smells bad.

I'm wondering if Nutley 2.0 is going to settle down. For a squirrel, he has a certain level of cockiness and he's rather large. I picture him as a bit of a squirrel Lothario, bringing his 2.5's to his nest to check it out but then kicking them out in the morning.

Ah well, whatever he is, he's still digging holes in my back yard and I'm not sure why. I keep having to readjust my mulch to cover them. It's an ongoing battle. I was going to put more mulch down this weekend but if it rains as much as the terrible weatherman 'promises', I may get stuck indoors. This won't be so bad. I still have boxes to unpack and hideous curtains to replace. There's plenty to do so I won't be bored.

Especially in Nutley 2.0 has anything to say about it.

Happy Friday and have a great weekend.