Bittersweet Mondays and Insane Bosses

It was strange going into the office this morning knowing that it was my last Monday ever there. It was a bittersweet feeling: While I'm glad to escaping that job, I've given it two years of my life and that's two years I'll never get back.

I don't know what I really expected this morning. I suppose I secretly hoped my boss had come to his professional senses over the weekend and realized that he had been acting...rather childish. I hoped that my last week would begin with him having accepted the fact I was leaving and that even though it was going to be a nuisance for him, he wished me well.

Alas, once again, I was, for the most part, the Invisible Woman. He spoke to me when necessary but in the obligatory tone you use when you've fought with someone and don't want to speak to them any longer than you have to. I don't think I'm imagining it either.

What I find amusing is that I've had quite a few jobs in my life. On my quest to discover who I was and what I wanted, I used jobs to help me find the way. I've had jobs I've disliked a lot but even when I worked for a crazy woman who would show her anger by taking off her shoe and using it to make a rather large hole in the wall, my resignation was accepted with some diplomacy and grace. That job with the shoe-hammering boss was one of my least favourite; I worked for an international market research company that really only had one office in Fort Wayne, Indiana but we paid other market research firms from around the world to do our job and our boss would then pretend they were our 'satellite' offices. She was a crazy woman. In a way, she saw herself much like Meryl Streep's character in "The Devil Wears Prada." In reality, she had been married three times and had two children she spoiled rotten in an attempt to make up for the fact that she was never home. She was, I believe, also certifiably mad at times.

Nevertheless, she liked me and appreciated my work. When I quit that job because I was afraid that someday the shoe's stiletto heel would wind up my forehead, she tried to persuade me to stay with a generous counteroffer. When I declined, she told me how sad she was to lose me but she understood that market research wasn't for me and she wished me well.

My other bad boss was when I worked for a law school in California. That boss was supposed to be temporary, filling in for my much cooler and saner boss while she was on maternity leave. Alas, my real boss decided she wanted to be a full time mother and we got stuck with the temp. While she was a temp, she made mine and most of the staff's lives miserable by spending absolutely no time understanding the job but, instead, spending all day on the phone with contractors while her house was remodeled. She was only hired because she was best friends with a 'higher-up' at the law school. She was completely unqualified and absolutely terrible with the students. Nevertheless, she snagged the full-time job and we were stuck with her. She still spent most of the day on the phone with contractors. She befriended the students of rich parents who had a little power. She was rude to the other students who weren't in the top of the class. Generally, she was awful. She was the only boss I ever had who actually told me off for doing too much work. I'm not joking.

She was a terrible boss because she didn't bother to learn the job but, instead, decided to do it however she wanted. It was not a good method and before long, I was job seeking.

When I got another job and handed in my two-weeks notice, she wasn't surprised. She was, however, nice. I think we both knew that it was for the best that I was leaving. Sometimes, there are people that you simply cannot get along with, not matter how hard you try. She was one of the few in my life for whom I knew there was never going to be a good working relationship. We just rubbed each other the wrong way.

Nevertheless, when I left that office, she wished me well and I think she might actually have meant it.

Those are the two worst bosses I've ever had. Both of them were slightly sanity-challenged at times but they still appreciated the work I did and were decent in the end.

My current boss is not un-sane. He's a very logical man who is a very good computer programmer. He is also, unfortunately, a male. Worse than that, he's a bit of a stereotype. When things get tough, he starts talking sports. He talks to the men in the office about sports for hours. This, like so many other communication-challenged men, is his language of safety.

His language of safety does not include communicating with employees who have decided to jump ship when he can't see a logical reason for their impending departure.

Thus, he has stopped communicating with me unless forced.

I find this sad. Mostly because if my two former bosses who were slightly mental were able to be decent about my leaving, I'd expect this sane, Company Vice President to be able to suck it up and wish me well. In the past, he's always taking departing employees to lunch. I expect no lunch. At best, he'll show up to the happy hour my coworkers have planned for me this week and sit awkwardly in the corner out of obligation and he'll end up talking sports to whoever can speak the language of the Cincinnati Reds or the Bengals.

In a way, this bothers me. Those two years I've worked for this company may have been a little bitter for me at times because of the constant upheaval of being sold, being moved, being merged, etc. Yet I still have done my job and I think I've done it pretty well. In the end, I've learned that this means very little to my boss because, as he said to me in a meeting, he "doesn't want to have to go through the bother of hiring someone new because it's so much work."

I think that pretty much sums up how he feels about my departure. It's an inconvenience. I get that. I understand that. Yet, surely, he can't expect people to want to stay forever in a job just because it's going to cause him some bother.

Ah well, in the long run, maybe I'm doing him a favour. Maybe he'll find someone to replace me who a) doesn't mind having a crappy computer, b) doesn't mind blatant favourism of a coworker who has the same job title but does half the work you do because she's always gossiping in someone else's office, c) is a male and so my boss's sexism won't be an issue for him, d) likes sports a lot more than I do and, finally, e) likes his job so much he never, ever dares write a letter of resignation and stands by it.

No matter. I only have four days left until I move on to greener pastures. What's a little silent treatment when it leads to freedom?

Perhaps I ought to take my boss into the Most Optimistic Bathroom in the World and show him that he should "Live for Today because [his] Life is NOW!"

Then again, taking an already moody boss into a ladies bathroom might not be the best idea in the world, not matter how good the intention.

After all, I may need a reference some day.

Ah well, it was a nice visual if nothing else and on a bittersweet Monday, those funny visuals make everything better.

Happy Tuesday!

Hunting Geese on an Autumn Day

I'm on my last Sunday evening before I start my new job. This is the last Sunday I'll have, I hope, where I remember that I have to go to work the next day and I feel that a grey cloud is settling over me.

I've had bad jobs before where I've been unhappy. This job is unusual in that I didn't realize how unhappy I've been until I decided to leave. It shouldn't have been hard to figure out. If I go back and read my blogs from the past two years, it's pretty obvious that I've felt trapped and discontented. It's just that it wasn't until I decided to make a change that I realized I've been unhappy with the way things have been.

I have no idea if my new job will make me happy but I have an inkling that it might. I'm excited to start the job. Ever since I decided to take it, I've felt a metaphorical weight being shifted off my shoulders.

It's made life fun again. It's made things seem more real, like I'm not stuck in my rut anymore. It's making me appreciate the world I have around me. This weekend, for example, it's been beautiful outside. I'm not sure if it's too early or not to declare it but it seems as though we're having an indian summer. The temperatures have been in the high 80's during the day but dropping down to a delicious crisp low at night.

I decided that the best way to appreciate such a gorgeous day was to take the pups for a long walk. We actually ended up having two of them. As is my habit on weekends, I've taken to letting the puppies play outside when they wake up at 7:30 a.m. and I go back to bed and doze until they've had enough frolicking outside and come inside to find me. This morning, however, I was awoken by a furious yipping from the girls. Last time one of them yipped like that, it turned out Sookie had escaped the yard and was squirrel hunting in the street. Thus, I got up with a start to see what the barking was about.

Well, it turned out that one of the pups' "friends" had come to visit. Our neighbourhood is full of dogs. As we go for our evening walks, there are several dogs who always come to their fence to exchange a friendly bark with the puppies. I call these the girls' "friends." This particular 'friend' was a large, yellow mutt from down the street. I'm not sure if he'd escaped or his owner was walking him without a leash but by the time I was outside and dressed, the dog had gone. I was a little worried that he'd escaped and, putting myself in his owner's shoes, thought it might be a worry. So, I put the girls' harnesses and leashes on and we went for a walk in the neighbourhood.

We never did see the dog again but it was a nice day for an 8 a.m. walk. That time of day is interesting. There isn't much traffic on the roads, the squirrels are out in full force and the smell of bacon drifts out from a few houses.

Even though we had a walk first thing in the morning, I decided that we'd still go over to the woods for what is becoming a semi-regular Sunday walk. This week, I hoped that we wouldn't stumble upon a sponsored walk. All I have to do now is say, "Walk?" to the puppies and they go and sit by the front door, their tails wagging in anticipation. So, we headed to the park.

We got there by around 10 a.m. and it was still pretty quiet. There were quite a few joggers. There were one pair who were a little perplexing. They appeared to be communicating through bluetooth, even though they were not that far apart. When we pulled into the parking lot, they were walking haphazardly around the picnic benches in the parking area. Then, as we began to walk along the trail, they crossed our path again. This time, they were about 20 feet apart, still communicating via bluetooth and walking the opposite direction from us. I know they were communicating with each other because it was like they were having a conversation...only they were 20 feet apart. It was peculiar. What was more annoying is that the male was making really unpleasant comments about "The amount of damn dogs on the trail," and, as he passed us, he gave the puppies a rather threatening look. This, obviously, did not make me happy. The trail is about ten feet wide. My dogs are small and they were happily trotting side by side far away from the man. While I can understand being annoyed at dogs if they're either not supposed to be there or they are actually bothering you by getting in your way, I didn't understand his animosity.

Still, we shrugged it off and kept going. It was an amazing day for a walk. Autumn is fully here now and the sheer grandeur of the colours of the leaves is seriously breathtaking. There are bright golds, reds, oranges and greens all blended together. It's just stunning to take them all in at once. We stopped a few times so that the pups could have a drink and rest for a minute. Then we got to our favourite area of our walk- it's the area where we go 'off trail' and run around in the leaves while the puppies get to sniff out their prey.

Today's prey didn't need to be sniffed out, it was pretty visible. There, where we normally spend some time while the puppies have some leisurely sniffing time was a flock of Canadian geese.

This may not seem like anything unusual but for Sookie, this was a dream come true. She's fascinated by the things. They often fly over our house, honking loudly. No matter what Sookie is doing, as soon as she hears that honk, she's looking upwards, trying to find it's source. For many months, I believe she has longed for her very own Canadian goose.

Thus, today, her dreams were almost realized. She and Rory, upon seeing the flock, got very excited and pulled their leashes taut, trying to move towards them. Knowing that geese can be mean, I held back for a while but then decided that it wouldn't hurt to let them go closer. If the geese pecked them, well, then, maybe they'd be less enthusiastic in the future.

We moved among the flock. Sookie was beside herself with excitement. She got close to one and then...it flew away and landed gracefully in the small lake nearby. She got close to another and that one flew away. Each time she got close, the silly geese flew away.

Still, she didn't seem discouraged. Rory was very enthusiastic also. She'll jump into the thick of anything without a moment's hesitation. She joined her sister in attempted to herd the geese into a corner so that they could pounce. Unfortunately, neither pup can fly and so after a while, they were discouraged.

I finally pulled them away and distracted them by leading them to a large pile of leaves. They promptly dove into the leaves and happily forgot the geese. We walked on. We came to the area where we can either go home or loop back around the lake again. I wasn't sure how tired the pups were so I let them lead me where they wanted to go which turned out to be looping around the lake.

This of course put us right back into the thicket of geese. It was once more into the breach, we went. Once more into the breach.

Sookie joyfully tried once more to catch herself a goose. Rory also gave it her best effort. Neither pup had yet learned to fly and they were thusly thwarted in their attempts to catch a goose.

I pulled them away. We moved beyond the geese back to the grass that would lead to the car. Sookie and Rory promptly sat down, clearly exhausted. My attempts to tire them out so they would sleep had worked. They were just working a little too soon.

I ended up plopping down on the ground so they could rest for ten minutes. At the distank honk from the geese, Sookie had an energy burst but as soon as I attempted to use that burst to my advantage and walk them to the car, she promptly laid down again.

Finally, they had the energy to walk and we made it back to the car. Their energy burst returned as soon as we got home and they spent much of the afternoon running around the garden. This means that they'll probably climb up on the couch this evening and won't move until bedtime and they won't stir again until morning.

It was a beautiful day for a walk/geese chasing. I feel like I got to appreciate nature with a fresh pair of eyes. With my freedom from my current job approaching and the hope of fresh possibility at my new job looming brightly, I think I'm finally shaking off the cobwebs of frustration. It's a beautiful world of autumn out there and it's nice to it share with with two puppies, a flock of geese and the other intrepid walkers we passed on our morning jaunt.

I'm just glad they didn't catch their goose.

Happy Monday!

The Invisible Monkeypants

Ever since I handed in my resignation on Monday, I feel like when I walk in the office, first thing in the morning, there's an invisible sign over the doorway that marks the day. For example, today would have been "DAY 4".

Day four of my resignation was the day on which I became completely invisible to my boss. I knew this was likely to happen. There was no eye contact, no chit-chat...nothing. The only time he spoke to me was in a meeting I had with him and two other people in which he sarcastly commented on the fact that I was eating my second lollipop of the day. I'm glad he's keeping track for me. It's quite useful.

Aside from that comment, my existence was not acknowledge. I find this rather a welcome reprieve after three days of moody behaviour.

In contrast, he made sure to spend a lot of time with my coworker, chatting with her and joking with her. Meanwhile, she milked him for sympathy about how busy she's suddenly become and how much work she's going to have. I'd feel sorry for her but since she's always telling me how very bored she is, I think I'm actually doing her a favour.

This may seem like I'm being a little assumptive in my opinions of how things are at my company. I mean, it could just as easily be that my boss didn't get a chance to talk to me or he didn't have anything to say and he did have something to say to my coworker. My coworker might even have a point about how busy she is.

The thing is, I've worked at my company for a while. Based on Days 1, 2 and 3 of this week, I'm pretty certain I'm not projecting the way I expect them to behave on the way they're actually behaving.

Still, it makes for a nice quiet day for me. I'm finding since my motivation isn't as high as it usually is when I leave a job, it's quite relaxing at work. Usually, when I quit, I want to be spoken highly of and I work until the last hour, trying to make sure I don't leave too much for my fill-in to do. In this case, I'm pretty certain that the minute I leave, I'm going to become the scapegoat for everything that goes wrong. I've seen how it is when other employees leave. Also, I've already heard a few somewhat disparaging comments. Since they're coming from one of the lifers who would lay down in front of a train if it meant proving she was the best and brightest, I don't care too much. I do care that no matter how well I've done in my job, it's going to be forgotten because, by leaving, I've betrayed the company in some way.

It makes me even happier to leave. Tonight, I had to go fill out my new hire paperwork and my future job. Let me tell you, my new boss was nicer to me in ten minutes that my current boss has been in six months and that's not an exaggeration. He was so excited that I'd accepted and he seemed genuine. He raved about how great I'd do and how easily I'd fit in. It made me feel so good about starting my job there.

Also, they let me choose my office.

Yes, you read that right. I, Ms. Cubicle Dweller with the broken desk, mended chair and nasty keyboard is actually going to get an office. Not only that but I go to choose my office.

There were three to choose from. Two were small cosy inner offices with no windows. The third was a large office with a big window. Even though the idea of the window appealed to me, I know that I tend to be a bit of a wimp when it gets cold. I get cold easily. So I asked how it was in the winter. The office manager was honest and said, 'freezing'.

I chose one of the cosier offices. It might be smaller but it's an office and it's going to be mine. They're giving me a new PC with a new Windows 7 installation and Microsoft Office 2010.

I asked for Windows 7 and my current job and I was told there weren't enough licenses.

Needless to say, I think I'm more excited than ever to start my new job. Everyone there always seems so happy. I don't think it's even one of those illusions because I've been there four times and there's this strange aura of calm productivity that I haven't experienced in quite a while.

I think with the knowledge that I'm moving on to greener pastures in which I'm allowed to have new software, an office and work from 8:30 to 5 p.m. on a normal day, I can deal with whatever my boss throws at me.

Of course, to throw something at me would mean he has to acknowledge me.

Ah well. Day 5 is tomorrow and then it's the weekend. I think with it being Friday, it should be a better day. If not, I'll just keep smiling, secure in the knowledge that I'm getting out and escaping. I'll just keep that cosy little office in my head.

Maybe my boss will have moved on to his acceptance stage of being dumped tomorrow. I'll let you know.

As always, thanks for reading and have a great weekend!

Happy Friday!

The Fourth Stage of Being Dumped: Anger

Apparently, like grief, there are five stages to being dumped. The stages are very similar to that of grief:

1) Denial
2) Bargaining
3) Depression
4) Anger
5) Acceptance

Except for the first and last stages, the middle three can come in any order.

My boss is currently on the anger stage. He's been through denial. This stage was when he didn't want to accept that I'd resigned and tried to talk me out of it. This was handled in two awkward meetings on Monday. The second stage, bargaining, soon followed. This was handled in another two awkward meetings in which he asked what I wanted to stay. It was also followed by an imaginary job description that was supposed to appeal to my desire for more control and responsibility. It was not, however, followed by an offer of a salary increase.

Stage 3, depression, apparently followed on Monday. According to my HR manager who called me in yesterday to justify my reasons for leaving, my boss was 'pretty torn up' about my decision to leave and 'very down.' I did not see this. He didn't not tell me that he was torn up. He just denied it and then bargained for me to stay.

What I saw was him move right to anger. If this were an actual relationship in which he were a boy being dumped by a girlfriend instead of, you know, a vice-president of a company whose employee has professionally resigned, this would be the stage in which the dumped boyfriend acts like a complete jerk and treats his ex-girlfriend like crap. He would be at the stage in which he finds a rebound girl intended to make his ex-girlfriend jealous and regret dumping him.

Sadly, I don't think my boss realizes that he's not actually personally being dumped because he certainly has the anger stage of a breakup down pat. Today, for example, one of his only interactions with me was this morning was in reference to the fact that I finally broke down and cried in his office yesterday because I was so stressed from having to justify, explain and discuss my 'reasons for leaving.' Today, his comment was, "Are you feeling better today?"

It sounds like an innocent question but when it's said with the right amount of sarcasm, snarkiness and bitterness, you know he's really saying, "are you going to have another girly fit of crying today?" Naturally, like any ex-, he feels that he has a right to make me feel bad because he's been mistreated by my dumping him in the first place whereas, silly me, tend to think that as my manager, he probably shouldn't be taking this quite so personally.

He moved towards the rebound stage as soon as he asked my coworker to temporarily learn my job responsibilities. This morning, I had to sit through a painful meeting with him and my coworker in which he went through each of the issues I've been working on to see how much I had left to dump on my coworker. If he'd bothered to get to know me personally or, perhaps more likely, he wasn't being slightly vindictive, he would know that while I might not love my job, I still do it. Thus, even though I told him that everything was done, he still had to go through each of my issues one by one to try to catch me out. He failed. I also had to sit through him praising and sucking up to my coworker.

Then, just as he knew I was going to set up to train my coworker on some of my responsibilities, he casually asked for a minute with her. Rather than close the door as he's done with me during 'our breakup,' he kept the door open because I was in the room next door and every word was audible. I was irritated that he knew that we were supposed to meet and he decided that this was the perfect time to talk to her about her new elevated/increased role and how a salary increase would be in order.

I'm probably taking my analogy a little too far but to me, this certainly screams, "look! I can find someone better than you! You're nothing!"

Except, in this case, it's more like: "Look, ingrate! I'm going to give her the salary increase and promotion I wasn't willing to give you because she's better!"

For the rest of the day, he ignored me and spent a lot of time joking with her.
I know that anger is a tricky stage of being dumped and it can last a while so if it goes on for a couple more days, I'm not going to be shocked.

The nice thing is that I don't care that much. It bothers me that he's acting like a child rather than a professional but on the other hand, it sends home the fact that my inevitable escape to greener pastures is a wise decision. It also, sadly, makes me want to do far less to make my departure easy than it has ever done before at any other job. I'll keep trying to be productive but if this continues, I think my motivation is going to dwindle to the point where I might end up just popping over the road to Target for a while instead of sitting at my desk.

Nevertheless, even though his behaviour is making feel like skipping around the office when I contemplate the freedom from the place that I soon will have, I'm trying to remain professional. One of us has to so it might as well be me.

Still, I can't help that tomorrow he'll move on to acceptance.

Happy Thursday!

How to Accept a Resignation Graciously

This is an open letter to all bosses, particularly mine, regarding how to accept an employees resignations with grace and diplomacy.

Dear Bosses,

I'm very sorry to hear your employee has resigned. That's not good. It's always a rough thing when that happens, particularly when it comes as rather a surprise.

However, just as a note, these things should never really come as a surprise. It might seem out of the blue when you find yourself confronted, on a Monday morning, with a resignation letter. It may blindside you temporarily because you had no idea it was coming. Yet, when you stop and look back, unless you have a very, very bad memory, chances are...there were a lot of signs that this might have been coming.

If you do have a bad memory, that's rather a nuisance, isn't it? Especially as you're in charge of people and are expected to manage them. In that case, I suggest you keep something like a journal to keep track of issues that have arisen with an employee.

For example, say an employee has been to see you four times over the past 18 months to tell you she's underutilised and feeling like she could be doing more. Wouldn't you, as a manager, find that a delight? Here is someone willing to do the work and she's not even asking for more pay! Yet, I suppose, it is a bit of a nuisance to come up with more work for this employee when you're already supervising quite a few other people and they're able to keep themselves occupied, even when it's by spending hours and hours in their coworker/friends' offices, feet up, eating candy and chatting away about family trees and the like. So, maybe you don't do anything about it and you hope that the employee finds more work to do on her own. She says she has initiative, right? Then let her prove it! I mean, just because you're a manager or even a Vice President of the company, what power do you have to find more work for an employee to do?

Then there's the issue of equipment. This same employee has had a broken chair. The back is literally disconnected from the rest of it. She complains. The chair is taken to be glued. The glue doesn't hold. The chair breaks. The employee has to sit on a crappy chair for three weeks because hers has been sent away for repair. Isn't there some logical part of you that thinks, 'well, it's just a chair. Maybe we should get her a new one!"

Oh, but why bother! It's just a chair! Just as it's just a computer when you buy brand new Mac's that cost over $1000 each for every other employee in the department but you make her keep her old Windows machine. So what if it means the people this employee works with most have to have a special version of Windows to work with her because she doesn't have the same operating system. Phooey on that!

And when the rest of the department can pick up their shiny new Macs and go work outside on a beautiful Spring/Summer/Fall day, this employee is trapped inside on her desktop PC. No big deal. She'll probably get more work done anyway while her coworker is lounging outside on the grass, not even looking at her laptop.

Another thing you probably forgot to write in your little journal because your memory is so bad, this same employee asked to go to a conference last year with her coworker. They were rejected because it cost too much. This year, the same conference was local. So you let her coworker sign up and also approve another person to go who doesn't even work for you when this other employee doesn't even know about it yet. Never mind that the two people who are going don't really both need to be going and it would actually be more beneficial to send your neglected employee.

So, when this employee who you have been treating as thought she's invisible resigns, it really shouldn't come as a surprise to you, should it? When she does resign, you should be able to look back over your memories (or your journal since your memory is horrible), and at least have some semblance of an idea that maybe there is a reason. There's probably a whole lot of reasons, only a few of which you catch as you scan through this journal you've been keeping since your memory is so bad.

Thus, when she resigns, you should say, "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. You've done a great job here. Congratulations."

THAT is how to accept a resignation gracefully. Since she's been gracious enough to give you two weeks notice even though it's an 'at-will' company that could fire her without any notice, you should be a little disappointed but accept her decision.

What you should not do is this:

a) Act like a boyfriend who's been dumped and ask her what you've done wrong and turn it into something personal.

b) When she tries to be professional and tell you that she 'just wanted a change', don't push and bully her into telling you more. She's trying to be diplomatic so she can leave on good terms. Then when you finally bully her and she cracks and tells you some of what's wrong, do NOT defend yourself and contradict her.

c) Ask her what you can do to change her mind. Resigning from a job with two weeks notice generally means a person has thought it over and made up her mind. If she wanted a counteroffer, she would have said, "I have another job offer. What can you do to make me want to stay here."

d) Even when she says her decision is final, scramble around and invent a position for her that you've composed from pulling various job descriptions off the internet.

e) If you do invent this position, you SHOULD offer her a raise. Chances are she won't take it but when you involve a salary, it means you're serious. What reason would she have to stay based on a quickly thrown together email of a made up job?

f) Keep calling her into your office, making her close the door and bullying her into telling you why she's leaving. She's told you.

g) When you tell her to compose an announcement to the staff, take out everything she says other than, "I'm leaving this job to take another position." When you do, do not be annoyed when she politely asks you to compose and send the email yourself.

h) Make her have to talk to 1) The outgoing president, 2) The incoming president 3) The HR manager and 4) yourself (again) within a 24 hour period in order to explain why she's leaving.

i) Ask her to postpone her start date at the new job because you've suddenly decided that her coworker is going to have to take over her work and needs to be trained. This isn't an unreasonable request but if you're asking her to postpone because said coworker is going to be at the conference you didn't even ask if the resigning employee wanted to attend for three days during the outgoing employees last week at work, it IS unreasonable.

j) Call her into your office again and make her feel guilty for leaving her job. When she breaks down and starts crying because she's just had enough and is stressed out from the way you and the upper management have been treating her, do NOT act like she's an alien from outer space. She is a human being who is embarrassed about crying. Chances are she's crying for a reason.

In conclusion, when an employee wants to resign and she's said her decision is final, for the love of all things that are good and wonderful, LET HER BLOODY WELL RESIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST LET HER GO!

This is how to accept a resignation graciously.

Sincerely,

Captain Monkeypants, an employee whose resignation was not accepted graciously.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do...

Today was probably one of the most draining days I've had at work in a long, long time. It wasn't supposed to be draining. Today was supposed to be a happy day. You see, I decided after less consideration than I probably ought to have given it to quit my job and take the other one that I have now officially been offered.

I walked into the office this morning. I was feeling a little nervous about telling my boss but lighthearted about the fact that after months of complaining and stressing about this job, I had finally found a way out and it looks to be a positive change.

When I got to my desk, I typed out a short, polite generic resignation letter indicating that I was giving two weeks notice as of today. I know not to put too much in writing when it comes to letters like that. The less said, the better. If they want to know why, they can do an exit interview.

By the time my boss came in, I had decided to give him a fifteen minute settling in period before I gave him my news and my letter. All went as planned. Then I went in, shut the door to his office and told him I was leaving.

It turns out that contrary to my belief that he had wind of me job seeking, he had absolutely no clue. I had blindsided him. His jaw literally looked like it dropped to his desk and for a minute, I felt like I'd kicked a puppy.

He didn't know what to say. Shock was involved. Then speechlessness and then, finally, in a slightly less confident voice than I'm used to from him, I heard him say, "I don't understand. Is it something I did?"

This is not what I expected at all. I tried to give him some of the more general reasons but I outlined why I was accepting this other job and why I was giving my notice. It wasn't good enough. It was rather a painful experience. He finally looked at me and said, "If I can come up with a better position for you here, would you consider staying?"

I knew most likely nothing was going to change my mind but he seemed...desperate. So I told him I'd definitely consider it.

What followed was a stressful morning. He instant messaged me. He called me into his office for another painfully awkward conversation. He dashed off to speak with his boss- our company president who has also resigned- and then I got an email outlining a new position and the responsibilities.

I knew as soon as I saw the email that I wasn't staying. Truth be told, my reasons for leaving are as much due to the politics and environment of the office as they are with me being bored at my job. I had told my boss that one of the reasons I was resigning is because I needed more responsibility, more control over my own work. The job description he cobbled together was a desperate attempt to appeal to that area of my request.

I spent the afternoon being almost angry with him. I've worked for him for a year and a half. I met with him no less than four times to tell him I wanted more to do. I met with our company president and told him the same. Finally, I talked to our incoming company president with the same request. Nothing. I've spent months of feeling like I'm useless at my job because I get no feedback. I watch my coworker get rewarded with projects, a Mac laptop and whatever software she needs while I sit and have to download free versions of software on my old Windows desktop.

Then, I finally quit my job and suddenly, I'm irreplaceable. I'm invaluable. I'm necessary.

I was annoyed. I had hoped my boss would express regret that I was leaving but graciously accept my decision. Instead, I spent the day feeling guilty and dishonourable because I'd let him down.

In all honesty, it felt like a rather bad breakup. I've had those before. One in particular was with a rather nice man who I liked a lot but I was too young to settle and so knowing it wasn't going to go anywhere, I broke up with him. He had no idea it was coming. He was upset. He begged me to change my mind. He asked what he'd done wrong and what he could do to fix it. I felt horrible because he was so broken.

My boss was like that today only it was the 'professional' version of a breakup. I quit my job. He doesn't understand. He wants me to give it another go because it might work out.

Finally, late in the afternoon, I was summoned to our outgoing president's office. My heart sank. My head was already pounding from the stress of dealing with my bosses attempts to awkwardly communicate. Nevertheless, I trudged down to his office, waiting for yet another promise of improvement and fulfillment of my professional needs.

To my intense pleasure, it turned out to be a great conversation. Having resigned himself, our president understood that my decision wasn't just due to job dissatisfaction. He understood how stressful it's been to have entered a company during a time of turmoil- being sold, being merged, moving, being renamed, etc. He understood my need to get away from an office where, while I like most of the staff, the cliques, gossip and favouritism was too much for me. He understood that, sometimes, you just know when it's time to move on.

I felt much better when I was done talking to him. So much better that I went straight to my bosses office and told him the decision was final and that, while I enjoyed working for him, it was time for me to make a change.

He took it...ok. He was clearly surprised I didn't cave to his counteroffer but I think he knew he'd lost before that really.

I feel right about my decision. A wise friend of mine, Ms. P who is down in Texas, compared my job situation to one of my favourite Christmas movies- "The Holiday." It's a romantic comedy about two women who swap houses and find love. Specifically, she compared me to Kate Winslet's character who has been in love with a man for years. She's done everything for him, tried to make him love her but she was just a square peg trying to fit in a round hole and he can't appreciate her for the great woman she is. She leaves him and he finally realizes what he's lost yet our heroine, Ms. Winslet, realizes she deserves better than that and leaves him for good.

In this case, my situation isn't a man but a job. I've tried for two years to fit into the company. I've worked hard. I've done everything I can to be a good employee and yet I've felt as though I'm stuck in my cupboard under the stairs, underappreciated and invisible. Then, when I finally decide to leave and move on with my life, the company realizes what it's losing and begs me to stay.

Well, like Kate Winslet's character in that film, I think I finally found the gumption to move on with my life. I'm not sure what the future holds but I have a strong feeling it's going to be better. If nothing else it's a new opportunity.

I never thought I'd say it but I'd like to thank the Most Optimistic Bathroom in the World for dispensing some wise advice: "Live for Today for your Life is Now."

Of course, my guess is that when our CEO picked out those signs, she didn't intend them to inspire us to quit our jobs.

Ah well. The deed is done.

Happy Tuesday (and thanks for reading!)

De-Leafing Puppies and Adventures in Sponsored Walking

Here we are again on a Sunday evening after another whirlwind weekend. It's a dreary Sunday night. It's been cloudy all day with the vague threat of rain. It actually just started raining but it's that slow type of rain that just dampens the world outside rather than make it wet. The leaves are falling a little quicker as they're weighted down with the dampness.

It means that the wet leaves will be easier to tread inside, especially when puppies are involved. Given that I spent the day cleaning my house from top to bottom, it's Murphy's Law that we get this rain that will allow my pups to bring the outside indoors merely by running around the garden.

Of my two puppies, it's Rory who I affectionately refer to as my "messy little sod." If there's a puddle, Rory will be the one in the middle of it. If there's a pile of leaves, Rory will dive. If there's a place to dig, Rory will be the one with dirt covering her from head to toe. Sookie is one of the perpetually tidy dogs. Even when she digs, the dirt doesn't stick to her. She doesn't get the leaves trapped in her coat the way Rory does and while she doesn't mind getting a little wet, she doesn't stick her head in my parents' fish pond the way Rory does.

Today, we decided to take an autumn walk over at the park we went to before. It briefly was sunny this morning and blue sky peeked through. It was at this time I decided we should take the walk. Naturally, by the time we got to the park, the sun had gone, the blue sky had vanished and the murky threat of rain loomed overhead.

Still, we walked. For a few moments. Then we suddenly saw crowds and crowds of people walking towards us. I'm talking hundreds of people, snaking their way along our trail. It turns out we had decided to take our walk on the same day there was some type of massive, multiple charity sponsored walk.

We bravely kept walking. It wasn't terribly fun. One of the reasons I take the girls to the park is because I'm trying to socialize them slowly with other dogs and other people. Sookie tends to be rather skittish around strangers and barks a lot when she's nervous. Today was a bad day to try to slowly socialize the girls. It was like being thrown in the deep end and hoping not to drown. At first, Sookie panicked. She woofed and ran around, frightened and worried. By the time we were embedded in the crowd, both she and Rory were clearly just trying to keep their heads above water. I'm all for charity and sponsored walks but it was a little frustrating because the trail is divided into two paths, one for people coming one way and one for the people coming the other. We were walking against the crowd but we were frequently bumped off the path of the trail so that we had somewhere to walk because at times there were up to seven people all trying to walk side by side.

Rory and Sookie were very popular. I can't count the amount of people who exclaimed, "Aw, look at the weiner dogs!" or "AWWWWWWWWW!". It was good for the girls' egos except I think they were just trying not to go mad in the throng of the crowds.

We finally got to the place we found last time we walked there. It's an outcropping over the lake that is a detour from the trail. I took the girls there and, thankfully, we were alone. I sat the girls down, made a fuss of them and gave them some treats and water. It seemed to really help calm them down. We waited until the passing crowd had thinned out and we started back up. We were lapped by some of the same people who'd already passed us but it was much easier after that. By the time we got to the girls' favourite area which is another trail bypass, we were back to being alone in our walk. Their favourite area is by another small lake. There's an actual walking path but we prefer to ignore that and, instead, cut through the trees and explore.

The girls were in heaven then. They found piles and piles of leaves in which to dive. There's a dried up stream that's full of rocks. We normally walk around but today, the pups had scented something and were on the hunt. They wanted to ford the dry stream so I let them. It's much easier for a puppy than a human, it seems. I had a bit of trouble on the rocks but we made it through.

Then Rory decided to dive into yet another pile of leaves. Sookie followed. Rory emerged covered head to tail with burrs. They clung to her ears, her tail and her belly. Sookie emerged...burrless. I tried to pick the burrs off Rory but a couple of them were tangled in the long hair of her ears and there was no way to get them off without cutting them out.

Still, by the time we were done, the puppies seemed happy. Their eyes gleamed with the thrill of the hunt and my own cheeks were red from the wind and the effort. It turned out to be a lovely walk in the end even if it was a bit of a nightmare in the beginning.

When I got home, I attended to Rory's burrs. I also untangled the leaves from her fur. Sookie, of course, had no such issues.

Now we're home on a wet Sunday evening. It's a perfect stay-at-home type of night. It's the type of night in which you want to curl up with two puppies, watch some TV and enjoy the fact that it's Fall.

Of course, I'll have to inspect Rory first to make sure she's not carrying any debris before we curl up. Oh, my messy little sod.

I wouldn't swap her for the world.

Happy Monday