Monkey Massacre!

So, as is the nature of life, today was the complete opposite of yesterday at work. This is to say things were rather slow in the office. It also didn’t help that our boss is currently taking a few days’ vacation. Even when you really like your boss, there’s something rather nice about it when he’s gone. Things become more relaxed.

This is actually quite a feat for us. Generally, on most days, we’re quite relaxed in the office anyway. However, when he’s gone we’re even more relaxed. After the busyness of the past few days, I admit it was quite nice to have a breather. I clearly wasn’t the only one who felt this way because by 4 p.m., we were all gathered around our coworkers desk looking up each other’s addresses on Google maps so we could see each other’s houses.

In addition, our daily meeting was also more relaxed. This is probably why we all shared what we’d had for dinner last night. This stemmed from a description of our coworkers dream in which we were all at some mystery wedding and one of our salesmen was trying to convince the bride and groom that they wanted fish sticks at their reception.

As I said, things are more relaxed when the boss is gone.

It’s fun to work in an office where everyone gets along and there aren’t any awkward politics. There’s no one sucking up to the boss to try to climb to the top of the corporate ladder and there are no cliques. It’s a refreshing change of pace from my last office which was a mess of tangled politics and loyalties, not to mention the alliances and cliques.

Since I still keep in touch with some of my former coworkers, I do hear about some of the things that are going on in my old office. Suffice to say when someone mentions the name of the product you used to have to work on and you get a shudder running down your spine, you know you made the right decision to leave.

I’m very thankful that I found this job. While there are some days where I feel like banging my head against the keyboard because no one is returning calls or emails and I’m not getting anywhere, there are days like yesterday where good things keep happening and you actually feel exhilaration at your accomplishment.

And then there are days like today where even though no one is answering my phone calls and all the resumes I’m getting in response to my job postings are completely unsuitable, it’s ok because I’m having fun.

I’ve learned, by the way, why it is that I get the resumes I do. I did not realize that when some folks are at a certain level of their unemployment compensation that they are required to apply for a certain amount of jobs per week. Now I know this, it explains why Mitch the forklift driver from Idaho is applying for Java developer position in Cincinnati. While I have compassion for Mitch, it’s rather tiresome to have to wade through the large pile of completely unsuitable resumes to find the ones that are actually from people who genuinely are interested in the job I have posted.

Still, you learn something new every day. Today was no exception. Today’s lesson was actually not at work but, rather, at home.

It was this: Never leave two playful dachshunds home alone with a one legged monkey.
You might think this sounds strange. It makes perfect sense. You see, Rory and Sookie have a favourite toy. We call him Monkey for that is his name. This is actually Monkey 2.0. Monkey 1.0 met an untimely death because Rory and Sookie had a tug of war with him. I felt bad for the pups since they really loved their monkey. So I found another one at Petsmart.

Monkey 2.0 lasted a good three months. Then, early this week, I looked out the window at the snow-covered backyard and noticed a small blue thing lying there. Curious, I investigated to discover it was one of Monkey 2.0’s legs. Since it was frozen and stiff, I brought the limb inside and put it somewhere safe so that I could stitch it back on when it was a)defrosted and b)I had time.

Alas, that time never came. When I came home at lunch today, I discovered poor Monkey 2.0 disemboweled on the living room floor surrounded by the polyfill that used to be inside him. In my absence, the puppies had their own private Monkey Massacre.

It was my fault. I should either have confiscated Monkey 2.0 or stitched his leg on in a more timely fashion. I could have saved that little blue monkey but, alas, he is no more. I laid him to rest in the rubbish bin. His time of death is estimated to have been between 8:10 am. and 12:20 p.m. No autopsy will be necessary.

Now I’m trying to decide if we should think about a Monkey 3.0 or we should find something a little more durable. It’s just that the puppies clearly favour Monkey above all their other toys. It’s fun to watch them share him as they trot outside, each one carrying a limb in their mouth as trot off proudly.

Of course, this is probably why I find little monkey limbs outside in the snow on occasion.

Ah well. Like I said, you learn something new every day. My lesson today was that perhaps Monkey is not the best toy for two dachshunds who love to play tug of war and can grip an object very tightly in their teeth for ages. Sookie, especially, is very determined and when she sets her mind to holding onto her toy, she’s not letting go for anything.

This time, it was poor Monkey 2.0 who paid the price. I vow to not let it happen if there should be a Monkey 3.0.

Monkey Massacres are no fun to clean up.

Poor Monkey. May Monkey 2.0 rest in peace.

Happy Friday!