Thursday, August 4, 2011

A Day to Rant and Rave...

Some days, I find that I wake up in a good mood and I’m feeling fiery. I don’t know why but days like this I find that the smallest things inspire me to a passionate reaction whether they’re good or bad. Today is one of those days. So I’ve decided that this blog will be about the small things that both drive me a little crazy and make me strangely happy.

The annoying little things

1) Passive-aggressive female bathroom users. These are women who go in a stall, find it’s not flushed and immediately leave to use another one. Yes, it’s vile and disgusting but just flush the damn toilet. You don’t have to use it afterwards but flush it anyway. Be a doer, not a dodger.

2) Annoying cutesy shortened words. I hate things like ‘FroYo’- sure it’s clever but just say frozen yogurt. Please. Say ‘vacation’, not “Vacay”. Also, I hate when people say, “I’m on the ‘puter”. It’s a COMputer. It’s one syllable. Seriously.

3) Paul McCartney. I don’t know why but he inspires rage. I think it’s time to quit, Paul. You are NOT the Beatles. You were only one of them. Go do a nice kids show like Ringo and then I might rethink it. Also, I think you disrespected Linda when you got married to that weirdo very shortly after she died. I can’t help it. I think that way. Also, I know people want to see you sing because you were a Beatle but you should stop touring anyway. Let it go. Also, I know you’ve had plastic surgery. I think it’s pretty obvious.

4) Mosquitoes. I am covered with bites. I’d still like to figure out their purpose on this earth because, really, I think we can do without them. Also, they’re evolving. We have a stripey kind now in Ohio that apparently is an Asian Tiger mosquito. It appears to be immune to the power of my Off-Mosquito Fan.

5) True Blood. I used to love that show. I used to get excited on Sunday evenings because it was on. Now it’s just a giant mess of storylines that leave the main character almost as a peripheral and focuses on far too many stories and really annoying characters who really should just go away (Tommy and Tara). Alan Ball, I know you’re trying to create a world that borrows from the books but creates a separate reality but there’s no need to take stories from four or five of the books and cram them into a TWELVE EPISODE SEASON. There’s nothing wrong with loosely just following the books. The first season was great. Yes, I’ll still watch it for now but, as with Glee, my patience is wearing thing.

6) Tarragon. I really want to like it. I like licorice after all. I just can’t like tarragon. I’ve tried.

7) Those African tribal type of ear rings that make a giant hole in the lobe and just keep getting bigger. They’re weird. I should have the urge to throw wads of paper THROUGH YOUR EAR HOLE. I know, I know…it’s a form of self-expression but, well, don’t you think it’s a little odd that people can see you neck THROUGH YOUR EAR? Sorry. I can’t help it.

The good little things

1) I published a book and having friends who are so supportive that they’ve bought it already either on the Kindle or the paperback makes me happy. Thank you!

2) I published two book. This was my dream as a young ‘un. Granted, it’s not the same level as if a huge New York publishing firm bought it and marketed it for me but that doesn’t happy very much anymore and I tend to think that if we want something to happen badly enough, we just have to do it. I did it. Even if no one but my friends (see #1) buy it…hey, it’s out there…right?

3) Bacon. Yes, I’m on the bandwagon but bacon is good. I’m not on the bandwagon where it should go in everything (I’m not into the bacon ice-cream thing) but I do think it makes a mighty fine addition to many soups, vegetables and entrees. Mmm….bacon.

4) Fresh veggies in the summer. Last night, I made cabbage with juniper, sautéed zucchini and yellow squash and potatoes with sage. All were from the farmer’s market or my garden. There’s nothing better than pickin’ it, cookin’ it and then eatin’ it.

5) My job. Even on bad days, I’m incredibly grateful to have a job that I actually like with a boss who STILL says “thank you” when I do something well and coworkers who make me laugh and not want to run away. Also, in this economy, I’m incredibly grateful to have a job.

6) My dogs. There’s nothing better than getting home from work, sitting on the couch and having two dachshunds fight over who gets to slam dance with love into my lap first.

7) George R.R. Martin’s Game of Thrones series of books. Seriously. I’ve been reading them for two months and I’m getting worried about what to do when I finish this last one, they’re that good. WRITE FASTER, GEORGE!

8) Long weekends. I took tomorrow off just because I wanted to and because I wanted a long weekend. The freedom to do that is a luxury.

9) Peaches. Fresh peaches from the farmer’s market that are so juicy, no matter how hard you try, there’s no way to eat them with dignity.

10) That today, my list of good things is longer than the bad which is a good thing unto itself.

Happy Friday!

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