For Peppy....A Slightly Mental but Lovable Chihuahua

Alas, today, we did not lose our network. Though it threatened to be a little sluggish for a while, it plodded along and then recovered itself. I was quite disappointed.

Still, I managed to get some work done. Lately, my job is scaring me. There are days when I actually feel like I could say I like my job. I won't yet though. As I've stated a few times before, I have commitment issues. In this case, I'm afraid that as soon as I say that, my job is going to go right back to being that place where I go to earn my paycheck before I get to go home and enjoy life.

Nevertheless, things aren't so bad. In general, things aren't quite so bad. A week ago, things were much worse.

I think I mentioned that I lost Sausage a week ago. When I say "lost", I mean that he had to be put to sleep.

If you've read my blog for any length of time, you'll know that Sausage was my very lazy, very selfish, very loved dachshund dog who lived at my parents but, possibly, was coming to live with me. He didn't do much but sleep and eat and, when the occasion merited it (usually when I had food or a rub on the nose), he'd show me affection.

Sausage, however, was also a little mean. He'd always been a little mean, ever since he was a puppy. I think he came from a bad home when we got him because he was always jumpy and nervous. As he got older we learned that he had very big teeth that he liked to show when he was irritated. Given that my parents had four other dogs who were smaller than him, Sausage learned to bear his teeth at the ones who irritated most. It was a scary sight which, at first, seemed harmless.

Over the years, he'd always picked on one of my parent's dogs in particular: Peppy, the slightly overweight, slightly nutty chihuahua, who looked like a mini border collie. Peppy was my 'college graduation dog'. My parents had come down to help me move home after graduation and we'd stopped at a pet store. Peppy had been so irresistible, he'd come home with us. He was very loyal to certain people, me being one of them- most of the time. He also loved my older brother and would follow him everywhere when he came home. As he got older, he started to lose his vision. By the time he turned almost13 this year, he was virtually blind. Sausage had begun to pick on Peppy more and more, attacking him when he got a chance. We worried about it but we never realized how bad it would get.

Last week, my mother came home to find that Sausage had almost killed Peppy. My dad took him to the vet but nothing could be done. We'd lost Peppy. When I heard the news, it was a huge shock. What was just as much of a shock was what had to be done about Sausage. He was getting meaner with age and in addition to the other three dogs my parents' have, my nephews and nieces are often around. Given the brutal state of Peppy, it was too much of a risk to keep Sausage around.

The next day, Sausage was put to sleep. My heart broke a little, not just for Sausage but also for little Peppy who had been the victim of a bully.

It's been a week and it's easier to talk about even if it's not easier to comprehend. It was so sudden, two dogs, two days. I know, for my parents, it was a different kind of shock. They had to deal with the physical nature of what happened. My dad had to take the dogs to the vet, my mother has been dealing with an emptier house.

I suppose, in a way, it's been easier for me than it has been for them. I got to mourn away from the scene of the tragedy. Though, I will say, it doesn't make it any easier to lose a dog. When they've been part of the family for as long as they have, it's never easy.

I think the hardest part in this is trying to comprehend what it was that Sausage did. Peppy is the real victim in the tragedy. Mauled by Sausage, he didn't stand a chance. He was a sweet dog, if a little...different. He had strange dances he did, a high pitched almost soprano squeak that he'd lift in answer to the other dogs bark when, on occasion, they'd decide to have a 'sing', raising their barks in unison to whatever invisible trigger motivated them. He would sit by my feet when I was on the computer, my 'writing dog' as I called him. He was a loyal dog who didn't deserve the fate that Sausage dealt him.

Yet...I can't help but be sad about Sausage. As my dad reminded me, Peppy is the one I feel sorry for and should mourn and I do. But Sausage was....my Sausage. In all his meanness, I loved that stupid dog. I loved the snow dance I did with him, the fact that he would manage to find a patch of sunshine even if they were few and far between. He'd recharge himself in the sun and become, as I dubbed him, Solar Sausage.

It's hard to forget those things, no matter how much I should despise him for what he did. I don't think we can help who or what we love and though Sausage turned out to be a bad apple, I still loved him. I will miss him for a long time, probably always, just as I miss Peppy.

Through all of it, I know my parents had to do what they did. I will never blame them for that. I wasn't there, I didn't see how badly Sausage injured Peppy. I didn't have to be there as Sausage left the house for the last time. I've imagined it...a lot. Each time I do, I get sad and am eternally grateful I wasn't there because, if I had been, I would have begged my dad not to take him, even though it would have been the wrong thing. I thought about it the whole night before Sausage died, thought about calling them, begging them to stop.

But I didn't because it wouldn't have been right. It's only been a week and it's still fresh in my mind. I feel bad writing this because my mum will read it and I don't want to depress her or upset her. But, as a writer, this is how I express myself and tonight, I felt like it was time to talk about it, to eulogize both dogs in blog form.

I'm not quite ready to move on yet but I've decided that when Spring comes and stays for good, I'm going to go to the Dachshund Rescue of Ohio and look for a dachshund to rescue. In my anger and shock about Sausage, I tried to find another type of dog that I might click with; I even went to the pet store with my parents to look this past weekend. In the end, it was the tiny little dachshund puppy that I kept watching and I realized that it was no good. I'm a wiener-dog Monkeypants, no matter how hard I try. I'm going to look for a little girl dog who's old enough to need to be rescued and to appreciate a good home. While the puppies are adorable, I want to find a companion who'll appreciate being rescued and enjoy the home I can provide.

In the meantime, I'll continue to miss and grieve for Peppy and, despite the circumstances, Sausage. Every time it snows, I'm going to picture him doing the snow dance and giving me one of my favourite things in the world, even though he hated snow and would cower whenever I gave the victorious shout of "Snow, Sausage, Snow!"

And as for Peppy, I'll never be able to sit at my computer without imagining him sitting by my feet, patiently waiting and enjoying the peace.

I'll miss them both.

Happy Wednesday

Strange Sorts of Mondays

Today, at work, I made a foam hat for my Benjamin Linus bobblehead toy. It's not every day you can say that.

In case you're wondering who Benjamin Linus is, he's my favourite character on the TV show Lost. He's very intelligent and a master of manipulation. He's also a bit of a murderer who will stop at nothing to get what he wants. Naturally, I find him fascinating and intriguing. Hence the fact that I have his bobblehead on my desk.

You're probably wondering why I made him a foam hat. The answer is pretty simple: I had nothing else to do and it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Today was supposed to be a very busy day at work. It was the day of a software release when all hands are on deck, making sure it worked. However, when your entire network decides to stop dead quite frequently throughout the day, you tend to find yourself with some free time. Since everything we do is connected to the network in some way, it meant that we were a little handicapped when it wasn't working.

For a while, I tried to be patient but it got to the point where it was taking five minutes after you clicked on something to actually do anything. In the end, I decided to make use of the time wisely. I already had the foam. It came from a clock that I'd been given a little while ago. I found the foam more interesting that the clock and so I kept it. Today, I used paperclips to hold the hat in shape and made makeshift Mickey Mouse ears for Ben. He's proudly wearing them now.

I don't know why I feel compelled to blog about my foam hat. I think it's probably because it was just one of those days. It started out ok but when the network first started to go slowly and then just stopped altogether, it put a bit of an obstacle in the way of getting our software out.

In the end, we did manage to get almost everything done and that which we didn't is being postponed for the next release which will, most likely, be in about six weeks. Meanwhile, I got to make a foam hat for a bobblehead, take a very long walk to the bathroom to stare at the motivation posters, go into the kitchen to get coffee and ended up having a very pleasant chat about food with a coworker and also plan tonight's dinner. It was a very productive day, just not quite the kind of productive day I had planned.

Still, the hat is interesting and my dinner was tasty. I made salmon that I cooked in a salt dome like I've seen on the food network, fingerling potatoes with mint and an arugula and orange salad with parmesan crisps. I have to say, it was pretty tasty. Also, it really only took about 30 minutes to cook and prepare. I love dinners like that. Of course, since I'd already mentally planned it at work this afternoon, it probably did save me some time which is always good.

All in all, it was a very strange Monday. It was the type of day that is pretty much the exact opposite of what you expected to happen. I don't think I'm going to complain about that. After all, I got a foam hat for Ben out of the deal and a pretty good dinner. Also, I got to chat to my cubicle mates which is always fun when people are frustrated. One thing my years of experience of working with software developers is that they're a very sarcastic bunch when they're bored. It's highly entertaining, actually.

I'm hoping we have the same situation tomorrow although I'm sure my boss wouldn't agree. I'm thinking of making Ben a sweater vest to go with his hat.

Happy Monday.

The Strange Effect of Saturdays...

I can't believe the weekend has flown by already. It seemed as though a moment ago, it was just beginning. Now it's Sunday evening and I'm readying myself to wind down so that I can start the new week.

I love weekends because, well, they're weekends. Yet I'm slowly realizing that I don't seem to be a big fan of Saturdays. I don't know why but it seems like Saturdays are the days for me when things most likely aren't going to go right. If I use them to run around and do errands, I feel as though I've blown a precious day of freedom by being horribly productive. If I decide to do nothing and spend the Saturday doing very little, I end up doing that for a maybe a couple of hours and then realizing that I'm being lazy and finding projects to do.

Regardless of it, I often wake up on Saturdays feeling antsy, unable to relax. I run down the roster of things I need/want to get done that day and immediately the simplicity of being able to lay in my bed and be free not to get up fades and I find myself feeling guilty for staying in bed when there's stuff to do. So I get up and do it and the day begins its strange magic of taking me across the bridge of it just starting to be the weekend on one side and realizing it's already half over on the other.

I can't really explain why Saturdays have this effect on me. I didn't realize that they did until recently when I find myself feeling habititually like a foul tempered beast on Saturday afternoons after I've been out and about, running errands. I end up getting angry with myself and impatient with others. If I stay home, I wish I'd gone out and about. If I'm out and about, I just want to be at home. It's a strange phenomenon. I'm hoping it's temporary. After all, Saturdays are a perfectly nice day. They're part of the weekend which, let's favourite, is almost everyone's favourite time of the week.

I do wonder if it's the same thing as the Christmas Day phenomenon. I find myself feeling antsy on that day too. It's like...an anticlimax. All those weeks of shopping, wrapping, baking, movie-watching and hall-decking and then, in a day, it comes to a head and...boom, it's over. I love Christmas Day but I so much prefer Christmas Eve where the anticipation is everything and the possibility of tomorrow is a strange, unknown creature the entices us and taunts us but makes us excited to find out.

Maybe that's what it is with Saturdays, albeit on a much simpler scale. All week long, we count down to Friday and the idea that when that day ends, the weekend is nigh and freedom is ours. Then freedom comes to us on a Saturday and we realize that while it might not be as confining as work, it often comes at the price of having to use that day to either run errands, go to scheduled social events, clean....something...anything. I know some people who can just wake up whenever they like, roll out of bed and do nothing but most of those people are a)either not adults or b) they refuse to accept that they're adults or c) need to help me figure out to stop being so responsible and say "screw it" a little more often. I've tried it and that pressing feeling of knowing that if I just do the stuff on a Saturday and get it done, I can have all day Sunday to be lazy or do whatever relaxing activity I want to do.

When I was in school, I used to try to do my homework on Friday nights. This is the point when you realize I was, in fact, a nerd. I am still, in fact, a nerd. I liked that feeling of getting my homework done. While my brother was up until late on a Sunday night, trying to get his homework done and inevitably ending up sleep-deprived and snippy on a Monday, I was reading a book, watching a movie...doing what I liked.

Nowadays, I don't have homework but I do have errands. I try to do as many of them in the first part of the weekend as I can so I have the second part of the weekend all for me. This is probably why I end up enjoying Sundays more than Saturdays. Also, I never feel antsy on Sundays. They're naturally relaxing.

I really can't figure out why Saturdays aren't that way. They should be that way. If you have a theory on this, feel free to comment below. I'm open for any suggestions. You can even suggest that I'm just completely mental although be aware you won't be the first to suggest that, if you're going for originality.

Nevertheless, weekends are still good. I'm just sad this one is over already. Oh well, only five days until the next one.

Happy Monday!

The Weekend is Lurking....

It's finally Friday tomorrow. This week has gone by surprisingly quickly. Busy days at work will do that to you. Dog tragedies also make time go a little off kilter.

The weekend is creeping closer. I'm heading back to my parent's on Saturday morning. I haven't had a chance to get home for a few weeks because of the snowy February we've had. It's supposed to snow a little this weekend but nothing unmanageable. Besides, I don't mind driving while it's snowing, as long as it's not accumulating.

Still, there's tomorrow to get through. The company bowling trip has been postponed for a week because our president realized that it probably wasn't wise to have the whole staff leave two hours early the day before we release a new version of our software, particularly when it's being problematic. That was probably a wise choice.

Tonight, I had to do my taxes. Because I bought my house last year, I qualify for the First Time Homebuyer's Credit which is really nice. However, it also meant that I had to go to a real live accountant to get my taxes done since all kinds of fancy stuff had to be done with amended returns and other taxy kind of stuff that meant something when it was explained to me but I'd be hard pressed to recall what, exactly, it was. I went to H & R Block, mostly because there's one around the corner from my house. Also, I tend to do my taxes with them online every year and it's nice when all my numbers from last year are already in the system. Of course, with our company being sold and moving locations, it meant I had to file the regular Federal and State taxes as well as a school district tax form and two city tax forms for the two cities in which I lived/worked. Ohio is odd like that: Depending on where you live, you either have to file city taxes or...you don't. I had to file. That's a lot of things to file.

Still, it's a nice feeling to walk out and know that you're done for the year with your taxes. It's the same sort of feeling that you get when you've done all your laundry or cleaned you house throughly or paid all your bills....anything that requires effort to get done but feels like you've accomplished something when you're through.

I was also lucky enough to have a really nice accountant. I like when people are nice, it makes life much better.

All in all, it's been a very productive week which sometimes is a nice thing indeed. The snow is finally melting away outside, even with the flurries that continue to fall. I saw the first daffodil shoots yesterday, poking out of the ground under a tree outside our office building. When I got home last night, I walked around my front garden and, sure enough, my spring bulbs are fighting their way upward, challenging Winter to hurry up and leave. While I love Winter and all her snowy glory, I like Spring too. Though it doesn't mean I'm ready to stop hoping for snow, not yet. I know I'm probably alone there but I don't care. Spring will come, followed by summer and I'll have to wait months and months for the next snowfall. So, just for a little while longer, I'm holding onto Winter but enjoying the possibility and promise of a Spring that's lurking around the corner.

Just like, during a Friday at work, the weekend lurks around the corner, waiting to embrace us with its freedom.

Happy Friday!

Passions, Cheese and Writing....

So, I just wrote this whole blog about my life and my writing and my job...and when I tried to publish, the server gave me an error message and now I have to start all over. I'm annoyed. I'm an impatient sort of Monkeypants. Also, I'm very tired and it's late and I really don't have a clue if I can mentally pull it together to recreate that blog.

Basically, the gist of it was that, scarily, I'm actually liking my job at this moment in time. I know, I know. The idea of me, Captain Monkeypants, saying that is...alarming. I think the scariest part of all is that it's temporary. I know that, in a week, my euphoria is going to be over and that I'm back to concocting ways to entice a squirrel to a) eat through the power lines or b) take down the internet. Either option would render us useless. Even if a squirrel is not involved, on a normal day, I confess that I do find myself imagining ways for our building to be out of commission long enough that we get to go home.

Still, for now...I'm liking my job. Today, I got invited to a meeting that involved the programmers and me and, interestingly, I was vital to the meeting. That has never happened before in this job. It happened in my last job but it was at a point where I could see that I'd finally hopped over a fence that I'd never have to navigate again. This job...who knows. One minute, my boss is asking for my assistance, the next thing he's treating me like a blond bimbo who can't possibly comprehend anything more technical than "microwave or toaster"?

But, I'm scared to say that today and yesterday were, um, fun for me at work. I am getting to test issues that have been found to be wrong with our software. Then I get to try and break them. Then, when I'm successful in breaking them, I get to tell the programmers what to do.

I'm good at telling people what to do.

I know it's only temporary, that once we release our software, I'm relegated back to the ranks of "what are we supposed to do with you?" Those days make me hate my job. They send me back to the days where I'm job searching. They send me back to the days when even working as a cheese shop manager at Jungle Jim's sounds appealing.

For the record, the last time this happened, I did apply for a Cheese Shop Manager position at Jungle Jim's. I'm annoyed that I didn't even get an acknowledgment for my application. While I might not have an official background, I still think I was a good applicant. While I might not have a passion for software, I'm sad to say I have a passion for cheese. I'm good with customers. I like people.

Also, twice now, for the record, I've been in Jungle Jim's and have been able to assist customers when the store employees could not. I'm not joking.

For the record, Creme Fraiche is found on the top shelf of the "French" cheese section. It is a mild sour cream and can be substituted for American whipping cream although it doesn't have quite as much bite. I highly recommend the real stuff.

Also, though Gorgonzola is a strong blue cheese, it is not Danish blue, as many assume. It is, in fact, Italian. Thus, it can be found in the "Italian" section of Jungle Jim's cheeses. I can recommend it as an excellent topping for salads or, even better, with mashed potatoes or stuffed mushrooms.

Anyway, I'm moving on, even though I'm slightly saddened that my future in Cheese Shop management is not to be. I know this sounds sarcastic. But, in truth, like a wise friend of mine says, [I'm] not sarcastic!, [I'm] British."

Seriously, even though my day job in software is sometimes good, as it was today, I do know this is not my passion. I can't pretend that I will ever compare the thrill I get to doing well at this job to the thrill I get when I'm writing.

When I'm writing or doing anything to do with my writing, I get wired. I find an excitement that can't be replicated by much else in my life. I'm doing scarily well with my Amazon Kindle sales of my novel, The Reluctant Demon. In a few days, my book will be for sale in a paperback format. If I do half as well as my potential sales targets promise, I'm going to be ok.

But it's not about the money. You must know that about me by now. It's more about trying to get my book out to people who I think will enjoy it. I don't care if I get any profit...I really, honestly, just want people to find it entertaining and not mind paying the $10 I'm charging.

(For the record, I'm going to charge $9.99. My original wish was to charge $7.99 but in the interest of not going into insane debt and still getting my book out there, I had to compromise. A fact, for which, I apologize).

No, I really just want people to read it, to laugh, to not mind that they had to buy the book to read it. That's it.

Ironically, in my attempts to find out the status of my proof copy of my novel, I clicked on Amazon.com. I discovered that tonight is "The Night" for the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award entrants.

A year ago, I was one of them. I had a novel entered in Amazon's competition. I wanted to pretend I didn't care but I did. At 3 a.m, I remember awaking, panicked after a dream in which I realized I sucked as a writer. When I checked my emails, I discovered I had been awarded a semi-finalist position for my novel.

I was elated. I was excited. It was the furthest I'd ever come with a novel. I reveled in the knowledge that I didn't completely suck.

That lasted until I got my prize from Amazon.com: A review by Publisher's Weekly. My review was terrible. It summarized my book. It gave a good explanation of the events. Then it trashed me. It gave no explanation why, no constructive criticism to help me figure out why my reviewer hated it, only that my book was awful. It was, in short, destructive criticism.

Sadly, as much as I hate to admit it, it began a horrible period of writer's block for me. A period in which I doubted my skills, my abilities, my desire. I tried to write something...anything. There was nothing but this blog.

Then I did some research and discovered that for the purpose of the Amazon.com Breakthrough Novelist Award reviews, Publisher's Weekly had hired reviewers for a pittance, just so they could get the 'job done'.

Someone's $50 profit was my mental breakdown into self-doubt about my writing. Thanks, Publisher's Weekly for being professional.

Still, then came the wonderful, amazing National Novel Writer's Month challenge (NaNaWriMo for short). In November, in the short space of a month (or three weeks if you're me and helping a friend with a master's thesis), I managed to write my novel, The Reluctant Demon. It was easy. It was light. It was fluffy.

It was fun.

I'd re-discovered my passion and my love for writing. The result is my most marketable novel to date. A novel which can be yours for the low-low price of $9.99 once I approve it. It's not about the money, it's about the fact that a would-be novelist found her path in life again.

And, no matter how much I enjoy my day job in software, for me, it's about the passion I feel in the evenings, when I get to write. Granted, I'd love to find a day job that solicited my passion too but...we can't have everything.

In the meantime, I'll settle for loving cheese but being passionate about writing. In between, I'm enjoying my current job.

It's all about the now...right?

Happy Thursday.

Self-Discovery and the Art of Distraction...

Today has been a sad, hard day. All I can say is that Sausage is no longer with us. When I'm ready, I'll say more about him but my mother reads my blog and I know it's been a rough time for her too so I don't want to go on about it right now.

When it's time, I'll blog about it.

I'll miss him. That much is probably obvious if you've read my blog for any length of time.

It's funny how a cloud like that hangs over you all day. You know it's inevitable and you know it has to happen but it's still always there in your mind, the minute you stop and think.

I do think we get to know ourselves better when something like this has happened. I learned that I really am rather British. When I found out that I was going to lose Sausage, I did what any good British person does: Made myself a pot of tea. There's something about tea which is infinitely soothing. The warmth of it, the familiarity of it...there's nothing more comforting in all the world.

I also learned that I'm one heck of a worker when I need to distract myself. I think I got more done at work today than I have in a long time and I've actually been working lately. It was the good kind of work that sucks you in and absorbs you and before you know it, the day has gone by and you actually find yourself staying a little late to get stuff done.

And you know when I do that, something has to be wrong because I try not to stay later than I have to stay. As I've said before, I don't hate my job. I just don't feel like I'm loyal enough to put in any more effort than I get paid for. It's a sad fact but it might explain why I don't want to be part of the "Great Bowling Adventure" on Friday.

Our company president has decided that we need to bond as a 'team'. Instead of ordering pizzas and putting a movie on the giant HDTV's we have in our building and rarely use, he wants to go bowling.

I admit, I am not a bowler. The only time I like bowling is with friends, beer and silliness. Awkward Bowling Adventures are not a way I like to spend with my coworkers. They are far worse than Awkward Bagel Days. Trust me on that one. We had one last year. Not fun. People show up out of obligation, everyone tries to sneak out early.

Still, I suppose it's the thought that counts. To me, it only counts if it's during work hours. If it's in my free time, I'm sneaking out too.

Still, the idea of an awkward bowling day was a nice distraction from brooding about a dog. As was the fact that my boss sat at my lunch table and found out that I was publishing my novel in a paperback form. He actually was quite excited and even pulled up the Kindle version when he got back to his office. His enthusiasm surprised me. He's going to buy one. I admit, I'm a wee bit worried that when he gets to the part when my heroine lets a demon run rampant in her office building because she's not fond of her job, he might be concerned. Also, my heroine has an awful lot of similarities to...me. I just hope he takes it with the dark and twisted humour it was intended. I'm not cruel...I might be a little...sardonic but it's all in fun...right?

I'll let you know when he reads it. He was also the first person to inform me I had a five star review on my novel and I don't have a clue who posted it. If it's one of my blog readers, I thank you. If it's a stranger, I thank you too. It's very flattering and it made me feel very good, as a writer.

Also, it was a nice distraction and I needed that today.

Thanks for reading. Happy Wednesday.

Still in Weekend-Mode...

Just a short blog tonight. It's been a long and tiring Monday as they so often are. I think it's harder on Mondays because you're still in Weekend Mode. For me, Weekend Mode means knowing I can relax in the mornings because my alarm is not going to go off and rudely awaken me from sleep. I know that weekends don't have as much structure, that there are two blissful days off peace before the rigor of work sets in again. Weekend Mode means that I don't like having to do anything. When you're at work, Weekend Mode doesn't work well because there's always something you have to do.

Today went slowly, as Mondays usually do. I know I worked and got some things accomplished but ask me to look back and tell you what I did and I'd be hard pressed to tell you. Of course, my job makes it easier because we now have this efficient (aka- annoying) time keeping system to keep track of what work we do. Every twenty minutes a window pops up and says "[Captain Monkeypants] What are you doing?"

So far, I've been a very good little Monkeypants and I obediently tell the little window what I've been working on during the last twenty minutes. I can't tell you how often the temptation arises to be a little more honest and say things like: "Staring into space, trying to look busy," or "eating a banana," or "playing with my iPod," or "surreptiously surfing the internet on my Blackberry."

I don't think my boss would like that though. It was his idea to implement this time-keeping system so we could keep better track of our time for future project planning. So, like a good little employee, I tell the little window what I'm supposed to be doing. That way, it looks like I'm being productive even if I have taken a break to walk to the kitchen to get away from my computer for a while. My boss doesn't seem to notice. Besides, a good rule of thumb in any company is if you are running away from your desk, always take a piece of paper with you and walk fast. No one ever stops you when you do this, it's just a rule: You look busy, therefore, people assume you are. Granted, in my building, it's really just a big circle but even that's better than sitting in my cubicle at times. Usually though, I go to our optimistic bathroom and hide in there for a while.

I find myself hiding a little more on Mondays. It's hard to get into the swing of things and I like to move at my own pace. Still, tomorrow is another day and since I have no excuse for being in Weekend Mode, I suppose I better make sure I'm busier.

Then again, maybe I'll just take more papers with me when I run away. That way I look busy.

Happy Tuesday.