Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Power of Yoga and a Smile....

Today was one of those days at work that seriously challenge my newfound attitude to say, "it's just a job! Screw it!". I've been doing very well at keeping zen even when things don't always go quite right.

Today was probably the worst day I've had in a while. Once more, my boss decided to completely disrespect the work I've been doing and basically say that I might have been wasting my time, even though he doesn't give me any projects to do. I thought I'd done rather well in undertaking a necessary project that I've heard over and over that needs to get done. Nevertheless, even though I'm almost half the way through, my boss has decided that he now needs to see what I've been doing before I can proceed. Naturally, he did not mention anything else that I would be doing in its stead which means that, as before, I'd be sitting at my desk, bored out of my mind because I don't know what I'm supposed to work on.

It didn't help that I had to sit through almost three hours of solid meetings, one of which was basically one of those where absolutely NOTHING was decided because my boss, the Executive Vice-President of our company cannot make a decision and feels that he absolutely must defer to his boss. While I understand his instinct, it still shocks me a little that he can't make a decision. After all, if his boss should happen to get hit by a bus or befall some other hideous fate, guess who's in charge?

The thought terrifies me a little.

Still, even though there were moments where my resolve was thoroughly tested, I managed to get through the day without getting too upset or angry. This, I think, is an accomplishment. While I still had the brief desire to run away, I didn't get in a snit and tell myself that I'm going to pour over Monster.com tonight and find another job. Granted, I might still have a look, just to see what's out there but it's not with the urgency and fury that I've had in the past.

I think I owe it to yoga. I took it up about two weeks ago, about the same time that I decided my job was not worth giving myself an ulcer over. I'm not the most flexible Monkeypants but that doesn't seem to matter. It's not about the flexibility as much as it is about the breathing and the ability to let your mind go. I think I'm getting the hang of it and I am seriously noticing that my stress level has declined.

So, in my meeting today, I used the same breathing technique I use in yoga. It worked for a little while. Then I visualized using the yoga strap that we inflexible folk use to stretch our legs....

ok, so I did sort of, uh, visualize me wrapping it around my bosses neck and then beating him with my yoga block but that helped too! Yoga is wonderful!

I did my yoga as soon as I got home from work and I can fully state that it really, really does help. While the frustration is there, it's no longer a tangible thing that makes me want to strangle something or someone with a yoga strap- it's a manageable situation that happened earlier today but is over. It might continue tomorrow but, if it does, I can deal with it.
I'm pleased. I like that I've found a way to accept my job and the paycheck I earn without turning it into a drama, without seeking out my coworkers and venting about my boss. I like that even if my relaxation techniques get a little violent, they make me laugh and grin like a loon. My boss caught me grinning like a loon at one point and I could see him look a little confused.

I figure that the more I confuse my boss, the more fun I'm having at work. There's a song made famous by Charlie Chaplin, called "Smile" and the basic concept is to smile, no matter how much life sucks or how upset you are.

What's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is worthwhile,
If you just smile."

I can't say that this always works but when it makes your boss wonder what, exactly, is making you smile like in a slightly maniacal manner, something's worthwhile there.

Happy Wednesday.

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