Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Final Countdown...

In honour of tomorrow being my last day at my current job and, hopefully, an end to my work whining for a while, I've decided to make this blog entry into a handy dandy list:

Things I will not miss about my job:

1. My job. I'm tired of knowing the nuances of software applications and still feeling like I know nothing. No software should be so complex that after two years, a person can still feel like an idiot for not knowing very much about it.

2. My boss. Nothing is more exhausting than constantly having to tell your boss things you want to do, things you are doing and things you should be doing.

3. My cupboard under the stairs (aka, my cubicle). It has a broken keyboard tray, an old computer, one less file cabinet than everyone else and a chair that once was glued but was sent away and is fixed but still hurts my back. Also, everyone else has shiny new Macs and I have an old PC with Windows XP. Almost everyone else in the office got upgraded to Windows 7.

4. Wearing a shirt that happens to be the same colour as one of our logos and being told, "Hey, you're wearing [software name] blue!"

5. Dressing nicely for work and being asked why I'm dressed so nicely.

6. Going into the bathroom to hide from my cubicle and being assaulted by optimism.

7. Being Instant Messaged by my coworker every five minutes even though she sits across the aisle from me, less than ten feet away.

8. Trying to train the same coworker in #7 and constantly having to remind her to focus because she's too busy giving me her regular State of the Company Address According to [Captain Monkeypants' Coworker]

9. Having to debate how sick I really am when I'm actually sick in order to decide if I can afford to use valuable PTO.

10. Having my boss perch awkwardly on my desk and try to carry on a conversation. Even when I try to talk sports, he gets a panicked look in his eye, knocks over something on my desk and scrambles away.

11. Wondering if we'll actually get our annual Christmas bonus of a miniature candy cane in our mailbox or not. Last year, we didn't.

12. Wondering why we spent several thousand dollars on a "Smartboard" when we only use it as a projection screen when the money could have been spent on something more useful.

13. Making coffee in the mornings only to discover that whoever was nice enough to rinse the pots the night before was not nice enough to empty out the old, soggy coffee grounds. I hate soggy coffee grounds.

14. Being asked daily if I've changed my mind about my resignation. Then, on a happy hour the night before I'm due to leave, going to a coworker-arranged happy hour, only to find out that the boss who has not really spoke to you in a week AND the president of the company show up and proceed to baffle you by the fact that they're friendly and nice about you're leaving. Have we FINALLY reached acceptance?

15. Feeling horrible because I resigned and my boss couldn't even be bothered to take me out for lunch the way he has for EVERY OTHER EMPLOYEE WHO HAS LEFT IN THE PAST TWO YEARS.

16. My boss. Yes, I know I said that in #2 but given the fact that he's acted like I broke his heart by leaving and thus is acting slightly like a vindictive Ex, I'm allowed to say I won't miss him again. Also, he made me cry and that still irks me.

17. Making a drinking game up based on the amount of times my coworker vanishes down the hallway to chat to her friend/coworker and then comes back and whines that she doesn't have enough time to get her work done.

18. Wondering why the walls of my cubicle are the exact same colour as baby poo or chocolate that melted and then went hard again. Neither one is pleasant.

19. Having emergency staff meetings fairly regularly that tell us that some further turmoil is befalling our company. After having been sold, merged, moved and re-presidented, it's been a rough two years.

20. Awkward Bagel Days.

Things I will miss about my job

1. The coworkers I actually like.

2. Getting to work at 7 a.m. and having no one be there yet.

3. Having meetings where I imagine I set a demon on everyone.

I think that much says it all. Hopefully with the new job comes a new series of blogs. Stay tuned and have a great weekend!

Happy Friday!

No comments: