Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The Nuisance of "Chubby Days"

There are days in life when you just feel blah about things. They are days when you go to your closet and look at all your clothes and wonder what on earth you should wear. Sure, you have a bursting-at-the-seams selection in front of you but nothing jumps out. You feel as though everything you put on will make you feel like an enormous blob because you’re having a ‘chubby day.’

If you’ve never had a ‘chubby’ day, you’re very lucky. I’m not sure if men have ‘chubby’ days or not but I know that I, as a female, have them far too often.

In my case, a chubby day means that you realize you no longer have the fabulous metabolism that you had when you were 18 and could fit into size 2 jeans. It means that you have to wake up and realize that as much as you enjoy the taste of French fries, butter-sauced food and lots and lots of cheese, you can’t always give in to the urges. Instead, you find yourself looking up ways to make a healthy dinner that’s tasty.

Chubby days also mean that you look in the mirror and feel unattractive. You know you’re not and that you don’t look like a drag queen or Arnold Schwarzenegger when he dons that woman’s disguise in “Total Recall” and, can't help but feel like you do.

Often, when I'm feeling like this, my strategy is to make sure I wear something that makes me feel good or attractive. I try to spend a little extra time on my makeup, make sure my hair looks right.

Sometimes this helps. However, there are occasion chubby days where nothing makes you feel that great and even when you try to look nice, you feel like you don't.

I know it's all in how you feel about yourself that counts. I'm pretty sure people don't look at me and say, "wow, she's quite chubby!" There might be people who remember my 18-year-old metabolism who would say, "wow, she's gained some weight" but, in the grand scheme of things, it's not that bad.

It's all in my head. I know it. The fact that I think I have nothing to wear when I have a closet full of clothes is definitely a psychological block rather than a physical one. It's just that my sweaters make me feel bulky. If I wear something that isn't a sweater, I'll freeze. It becomes an issue of common sense vs. vanity. Vanity often wins. Then common sense laughs at it and says, 'told you so,' when I'm sitting in my office, hugging my tea mug for warmth.

I usually try to fight chubby days by trying to eat a little lighter or healthier and make sure I'm doing at least a little exercise. That way I feel like I'm doing something about that which is bringing me down. I might dwell on a problem for a while but eventually, I always find a way to deal with it. In the case of chubby days, I can attempt to fight them. Or, more realistically, wait for them to pass and try again tomorrow.

Perhaps I should pick out my outfit for tomorrow now. That seems logical.

Except that by the time I get up tomorrow morning, I probably will have changed my mind.

Hopefully I'll feel less 'chubby' tomorrow.

Happy Thursday!

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