Time Flies When You Like Your Job!

I can't believe this week is going by so fast. It's unusual to say that. Usually the weeks drag by while the weekends fly.

I don't know if it's because my job is new or if it's always going to be busy but it seems like I barely look at the clock during the day. I find this to be a very good thing. In my former job, clockwatching was my main event. On days when I didn't have very much to do at all, clockwatching was an obsession.

The thing is, now I look back, I always got my work done. I never missed a deadline. Granted, I probably could have got more done on my backburner projects which were really busy work but I don't recall ever failing to get my job done.

Which may not seem like a huge thing but, well, if I told you how little work I did some days, particularly when there wasn't much to be done, you might be shocked. Let's just say that if they ever took a look at my internet logs, my former workplace might notice I had a bit of a web-surfing addiction.

I web-surfed while I was working on other projects. You might wonder what I could constantly find to surf the web about. Well, here's an example of a fairly normal unbusy day at work and the sort of things I would read on the internet.

1) Recaps of my TV shows on Entertainment Weekly.com

2) Facebook. Yes, my office did block Facebook.com but there are these things called proxy servers and if you use one, you can bypass firewall blocks. Hey, they paid me to do web security. You learn a thing or two.

3) I would see these brightly coloured cookie things online or on magazine covers so I'd go on a quest to find out what they were. Turns out they're called French meringues. Who knew? The Internet did!
4) I'd want to know how to stop my puppy from barking at strangers when we walked so I'd look to see what tips I could find.

5) I wanted to see if a cookbook I borrowed from my mother was available in the US since she got it in England and I fancied my won copies.

6) I'd read recaps from televisionwithoutpity.com. They have a huge library of recaps. It's good for hours of endless reading. Unless Jacob wrote the recaps in which case regardless of how much I like the telly program, I simply cannot read his awful waffling.

7) I'd check my Hotmail account

8) I'd check to see if I had any email in my author email account

9) I'd see if my book had any new reviews

10) I'd email my friends, particularly my two librarian friends.

11) I'd read another recap on televisionwithoutpity.com

12) I'd try to find out what the berries on the tree outside my house were because Rory keeps trying to eat them and I want to make sure they're not poisonous.

13) I'd find out about woolly worms because I remembered seeing tons of them at my parents' house and, at the time, I didn't realize they were woolly worms. I thought they were having some bizarre caterpillar invasion.

14) I'd google "Bad Bosses" to see how my boss compared.

15) I'd go to Monster.com to see what else was out there. This is how I found my lovely new job.

Sadly, this is probably less than two hours of surfing time.

I have a problem. I know. However, in my defence, it's only when I'm bored. In my current job, I don't have time to get bored. It's rather fabulous, actually. I'm working all the time and enjoying it. I'm getting stuff done.

I promise in a couple of days, I'll stop blogging about how wonderful my new job is compared with my old. I'm suffering from post traumatic job disorder. Once it passes, I promise to move on to other subjects.

In the meantime, I'll continue to be amazed at how quickly my days are going and how much I'm enjoying learning about what my job will be. Today, I managed to find a candidate for an immediate job placement and if he does well on his interview tomorrow. If he gets it, it will be my first placement. I'll earn a commission but, honestly, it's not about the money. It's about knowing that I've found someone who's out of work, has a six year old son and who really needs a job and helped him find one.

That's a nice feeling. It beats surfing the internet any day.

Happy Thursday!

Day 2: The Polar Opposite of My Last "Day 2"

Today was Day 2 of my new job. If life were like a video game or, even an episode of a TV show, I'd have had that fact depicted over my head in the form of a chyron that said "DAY 2."

It's interesting. My last "Day 2" was the second day after I'd turned in my resignation. It was horrible. My boss was in his stage of our 'breakup' that was a cross between depression and anger. It was a horrible day. It was the day where I finally cried because my boss had been so mean and the fallout of my decision to leave my last job was intense.

This "Day 2" was about as opposite as you can imagine. For one thing, I didn't feel a sense of depression and gloom as I went about getting ready to go into the office. When I did get to the office, there was a pleasant atmosphere. I wasn't being called into impromptu meetings in which I was forced to explain my decision.

Instead, as a pleasant diversion, I was, instead, treated to a good day in which I felt that my decision was explained for me by the powers of the universe. For one, I received more training. This, in itself, is different from my last job. My new boss is nice. He's not just the type of nice you get when you're new. I think he's just...nice. When we finished our training session, he assigned me some tasks but told me no pressure. I thought I had an idea of what to do so...I did it.

Truth be told, actually doing stuff at a new job is nervewracking. I tend to like my hand to be held until the very last minute. As a child, I was painfully shy. As an adult, I'm much less so but the recumbant gene of youth makes me feel shy and nervous when confronted with the idea that I have to talk to strangers. Fortunately, with adulthood comes maturity and while my instinct is to shy away from making phonecalls, the reality is that that once I've dialed a few numbers, it's quite easy to babble to strangers.

As a result, I had a rather successful day. What iIdidn't realize is that my boss didn't actually expect anything. This is not to say he's treating me like I'm special...as in the type of special that rides a special bus and that he didn't expect anything because he knew I would be able to do it. It's just that he's normal and he knows I'm new. Thus, he didn't expect me to do very much.

Nevertheless, I gave it a go and it turned out to be quite fun. I had a productive day. I'm already getting the hang of the job. I already love it or, at least, the idea of it. It's a lovely feeling to know that the people I'm calling to interview for a potential job may not not have a job at all and that they may be glad of my phone call. It's nice to know that even though I'm having to interrupt people's days, it's for a good cause.

Most of all, it's nice to have results. It's nice to see that the work I'm doing is yielding something.

This may sound dramatic. Yet, when you've been in a job for two years where the yield of your work is measured in the fact that you don't get fired, it's ok to be dramatic.

What's more dramatic is when your boss leaves for the day and makes a point of coming by your office and actually saying, "You did a great job today," that for a split second, you suddenly want to a) either hug him in gratitude, b) have a brief cry because you're simply not used to any type of feedback and even the small stuff is overwhelming at this point in time or, more likely c) where your mouth falls open with shock for a split second because you're simply not used to praise. Yes, this is dramatic for a job. I get that. It shouldn't be dramatic, that's the point. Instead, this is how a good company/manager/boss operates. You should always know when you do well.

For me, today, it was a start. More than that, it was an affirmation that, if there was any doubt at all that leaving the familiar cocoon of my last job, regardless of the problems, that doubt is assuaged and I have, in fact, done the right thing in leaving.

I'm hoping that as time passes and my job suddenly feels familiar rather than slightly foreign as it does currently, none of these positive things will strike me as odd. Instead, I'll get comfortable with the fact that they are, actually, quite normal.

At the very least, I'm hoping my job becomes normal in that it becomes the way I earn money and that I do it well but it's not the focal point of my life. While I know my job supports my writing, my writing has been there to define me and who I am. Lately, with my past job, I felt like my writing fell short because my soul was being sucked dry. Slowly, but surely, my soul will come back to me. I can feel that now and it's nice to have hope again.

It's also nice to have a little bit of praise and feedback because, sometimes, that's all it takes in jobs, in life and in everything else.

Happy Wednesday!

Playing "Office"...

When I was a child, one of my favourite games to play was "Office." My dad had this old, old computer from work. It was before the days of quick loading computer software, USB's and flash drives. It didn't have a mouse. It was an all in one machine that didn't have an operating system. What it had was its own special language and nothing but green text on the screen. I was too young to know what it really did but I did manage to make up games on it. I'd sit and turn it on, typing away as if I was actually doing something. Nothing every happened except I made it beep. Yet, I had a fine old time typing and pretending I was in my very own office.

Other times, I'd sit at my desk in my room and pretend I was sitting in an office, my pens ready to go. I had a child's typewriter and I would type Very Important Things on it. It was one of the old school typewriters, no correction tape and an old ribbon that would dry up if you didn't ink it.

Office was one of my favourite games to play by myself. I think I attempted to solicit other players but it was hard to get anyone interested in writing letters and things.

You might wonder why I'm telling you about yet more of my rather odd childhood games. The reason is that, today, at my new job, I managed to finally accomplish that which I'd only pretended to have as a child: I have my own office.

It really isn't the first office I've had. When I was a legal secretary, I had an office but it wasn't really mine. It was a room they stuck me in and I was across the hall from our grumpy office manager who could watch my every move. When I was in my international market research job, I had an office but, again, this was just a room they put me in and we had to swap constantly. It wasn't really mine.

The office today is mine. I'm finally in a job where I don't have to be administrative support as I have in the past. I don't have to type memos for anyone. I'm in my very own office doing my very own job. I have my own supplies and even have the freedom to order more supplies if I'm lacking anything. I have a new computer with the newest versions of Windows and Microsoft Office on it. I can close my door. I can decorate my office.

It's an exciting thing. I think if I hadn't been so...deprived in my last job, it probably wouldn't seem like such a big thing. However, when you used to have to take whatever office supplies were available or bring in your own and you didn't get new software, even when you needed it....it's the small things that make a new job all the better.

Better yet, I'm getting training.

(Private aside to one of my readers, known as Raindancer...YES, Raindancer, there IS such thing as training in a job! It is not a myth! It exists. I am living proof that it is possible!)

This, again, may not seem that unusual but...it actually is compared to my last couple of jobs. There was no training in those except to possible read a handbook. In this job, I'm sitting down with my boss and learning things.

It's exciting. I won't lie and say it was a perfect day. First days are always awkward. It's a strain to have to keep taking in the new information and to get to know the coworkers who have been working together for years. Yet, they all seem so nice. I'm a bit alarmed by that. It's a bit like the first time I went to Chick-Fil-A. That is the first fast restaurant where everyone in there was happy, genuinely friendly and seemed to like their job. I thought it was creepy at first, being used to the typical fast food experience of having someone take your order without making eye contact and being as slow and unfriendly as possible. Then I realized that it was a good thing. I like going to Chick-Fil-A.

My office is a bit like Chick-Fil-A. My coworkers have been there for years. They like their jobs, the office and one another. They're willing to share knowledge without trying to steal credit for each other's work. They don't gather in each others' offices, close the door and whisper.

It's a change and a welcome one. While my first day was exhausting, I'm pretty sure I'm going to like it a lot.

If you've ever seen the movie, "Working Girl," there's a scene at the end of the movie where Melanie Griffith's character gets a promotion. She goes in and sits down at the secretary's desk only to discover that it's not her desk, she actually has earned an office.

Today, I felt like that. I felt the inner child in me rejoice at the actual realization of what used to be my imagination.

And, this time, I didn't just randomly hit buttons on a computer and pretend to do something. I actually hit real keys and did something. Also, I have a mouse and the screen isn't just green text.

I've come a long way, baby.

Happy Tuesday!

Feeling Like It's the First Day of School Tomorrow...

I'm hoping I'm blogging this on the evening of the beginning of something wonderful. Tomorrow, I start my new job. I'm going to move from being in the exciting world of software testing and documentation (sarcasm intended) to being an IT recruiter. This means I'll be working at actually helping people find jobs and doing a little career counseling. I'm excited. I've long been frustrated in my old job because I stared at a computer screen and only got to interact with other employees. Now I get to work with real live people and do something that feels like it will be a little more fulfilling.

I'm nervous, I must admit. Just like the first day of school, the first day at a new job is nervewracking. I'm going to be the new kid on the block. I don't yet even know where the bathroom is. To me, that's one of the vital things about any new location. Whenever I've dealt with new employees or coworkers, the very first thing I do is show them where the bathroom is. Not only is this a vital need to human beings but it also gives them a place to run to if they get so stressed out they need a moment alone. This is not to say I expect that to happen tomorrow but, on the off chance it does, it's rather nice to know where I can run to when I need to decompress for a few minutes.

Still, I'm sure I'll find out when I get there. At least I know where my own office is going to be. I already have my clothes picked out. I need to pack my bag. There are a few vital office supplies I need. I put all my office stuff from my old job in a reusable grocery tote but I think I'll give it a couple of days in the new office before I completely move in. I have a lot of toys and silly stuff. It's not that I don't think I'll be staying but I like to at least feel like I know how the office works before I bring out my Green Day International Superhero action figures. However, my Harry Potter calendar, collection pencils- currently Halloween themed- and my box of tissues are musts for my desk. These are what I consider to be vital. Yes...I'm odd. Yet it's the items like these that can make even a cubicle feel like my own.

It was strange packing up the last of my stuff from my old job on Friday. I have to say, it was the oddest last day at a job I've had. When I left my job in California, I was taken out to lunch three seperate times by different groups. I recieved goodbye and good luck cards. When I left the job prior to that one, I even got flowers from my coworkers. I didn't expect any of that stuff but I expected...something. Instead, I got a free lunch at IHOP because my coworker had a buy-one-get-one-free coupon. I know- it's the thought that counts. It was just...pretty unsurprising.

I ended up having to do two exit interviews. One with our HR manager and one with the HR manager of the company with whom we've merged. Surprisingly, our HR lady was very good. Originally, upon resigning, I had planned to say very little other than the fact I was leaving for a new opportunity. However, given how painful the past two weeks have been, primarily due to the fact that my boss has acted like a jilted ex, I decided to be pretty honest. It was pretty therapeutic. I didn't hang my boss out to dry but I was blunt as to many of the reasons I felt he was a poor manager. Our HR manager actually ended up using our interview as a way to vent her own frustrations and it turned out, they were the same as mine. Since she's in the position to do something about it, being a manager, I'm hoping she gets to stand firm and try to make a change.

The other exit interview was decent. It was much more structuralized than the other one. There were questions that had to be answered. Since I was completely honest, I'm sure I sounded like a whiny brat but I said what I really thought. I don't think I burned any bridges in doing so but even if I did, nothing I said hasn't been whispered loudly between my other coworkers as they, too, have had the same frustrations in their own ways.

When I left, it was...anticlimactic. My boss politely shook my hand and that was it. I didn't expect anything else but I wanted something more. I wanted some kind of appreciation for the fact that while I did resign, I gave that job some solid effort and did a lot in my two years. I didn't get it and when I left the building for the final time, it was far more bitterness and regret than I meant to have.

I did, however, sing "Born Free," loudly and off key as I drove home, per my good friend Ms. P. down in Texas. She was kind enough to provide me with the lyrics earlier in the week and I took the liberty of printing them to remind myself that I was glad to be out of there.

It was harder than I thought though. It meant change and change is never easy. Change means new and unfamiliar things and I, being the creature of habit I am, prefer not to have much change.

Still, tomorrow will bring change. It will bring new hours, new coworkers, new challenges and new experiences. I am both nervous and excited. I'm just glad I don't have to ride the schoolbus with a bunch of unfamiliar kids as I would have to do if it was the first day of school. I will, however, be clutching my new pencils, using them as my safety blanket.

I'm sure it will be fine.

As long as I can find the bathroom.

Wish me luck!

Thanks for reading and Happy Monday!

The Final Countdown...

In honour of tomorrow being my last day at my current job and, hopefully, an end to my work whining for a while, I've decided to make this blog entry into a handy dandy list:

Things I will not miss about my job:

1. My job. I'm tired of knowing the nuances of software applications and still feeling like I know nothing. No software should be so complex that after two years, a person can still feel like an idiot for not knowing very much about it.

2. My boss. Nothing is more exhausting than constantly having to tell your boss things you want to do, things you are doing and things you should be doing.

3. My cupboard under the stairs (aka, my cubicle). It has a broken keyboard tray, an old computer, one less file cabinet than everyone else and a chair that once was glued but was sent away and is fixed but still hurts my back. Also, everyone else has shiny new Macs and I have an old PC with Windows XP. Almost everyone else in the office got upgraded to Windows 7.

4. Wearing a shirt that happens to be the same colour as one of our logos and being told, "Hey, you're wearing [software name] blue!"

5. Dressing nicely for work and being asked why I'm dressed so nicely.

6. Going into the bathroom to hide from my cubicle and being assaulted by optimism.

7. Being Instant Messaged by my coworker every five minutes even though she sits across the aisle from me, less than ten feet away.

8. Trying to train the same coworker in #7 and constantly having to remind her to focus because she's too busy giving me her regular State of the Company Address According to [Captain Monkeypants' Coworker]

9. Having to debate how sick I really am when I'm actually sick in order to decide if I can afford to use valuable PTO.

10. Having my boss perch awkwardly on my desk and try to carry on a conversation. Even when I try to talk sports, he gets a panicked look in his eye, knocks over something on my desk and scrambles away.

11. Wondering if we'll actually get our annual Christmas bonus of a miniature candy cane in our mailbox or not. Last year, we didn't.

12. Wondering why we spent several thousand dollars on a "Smartboard" when we only use it as a projection screen when the money could have been spent on something more useful.

13. Making coffee in the mornings only to discover that whoever was nice enough to rinse the pots the night before was not nice enough to empty out the old, soggy coffee grounds. I hate soggy coffee grounds.

14. Being asked daily if I've changed my mind about my resignation. Then, on a happy hour the night before I'm due to leave, going to a coworker-arranged happy hour, only to find out that the boss who has not really spoke to you in a week AND the president of the company show up and proceed to baffle you by the fact that they're friendly and nice about you're leaving. Have we FINALLY reached acceptance?

15. Feeling horrible because I resigned and my boss couldn't even be bothered to take me out for lunch the way he has for EVERY OTHER EMPLOYEE WHO HAS LEFT IN THE PAST TWO YEARS.

16. My boss. Yes, I know I said that in #2 but given the fact that he's acted like I broke his heart by leaving and thus is acting slightly like a vindictive Ex, I'm allowed to say I won't miss him again. Also, he made me cry and that still irks me.

17. Making a drinking game up based on the amount of times my coworker vanishes down the hallway to chat to her friend/coworker and then comes back and whines that she doesn't have enough time to get her work done.

18. Wondering why the walls of my cubicle are the exact same colour as baby poo or chocolate that melted and then went hard again. Neither one is pleasant.

19. Having emergency staff meetings fairly regularly that tell us that some further turmoil is befalling our company. After having been sold, merged, moved and re-presidented, it's been a rough two years.

20. Awkward Bagel Days.

Things I will miss about my job

1. The coworkers I actually like.

2. Getting to work at 7 a.m. and having no one be there yet.

3. Having meetings where I imagine I set a demon on everyone.

I think that much says it all. Hopefully with the new job comes a new series of blogs. Stay tuned and have a great weekend!

Happy Friday!

Close Encounters of the Larry Kind...

We're finally having a dark and stormy night here in Cincinnati, Ohio. Last night, we had the dark part and the storm rumbled in the distance but it never arrived. Tonight it arrived in full force. At one point, I thought there was a tornado in the back garden. The wind was blowing so hard and there were so many leaves blowing down from the trees that it was a little alarming.

Naturally, the puppies were in the midst of it, frolicking amongst the cascading leaves. They aren't afraid of storms at all and quite enjoy running out to see what all the fuss is about any time there's a clap of thunder.

I like storms a lot though sometimes, when they're loud and ominous, it's nice to have the puppies to keep me company. As a child, I was terrified of storms. I would cower near my parents any time there was so much as a clap. If it was night and I was in bed when a storm arrived, I'd immediately scamper to my parents' room and climb into their bed for safety.

As I got older, I began to be less afraid of storms. This is due to a rather harsh lesson in which my dad, tired of my childish fear, made me go out and stand in a storm and see that it wouldn't hurt me. It was slightly traumatizing at the time but it did work.

My younger brother and sister took my place in being afraid of them and when it was a stormy night, they would climb into my bed and we'd cuddle together until either the storm passed or, more likely, morning because they had fallen asleep and I hadn't the heart to wake them.

Nowadays, I love to lie in bed and hear the rumble of a storm. They're cleansing and therapeutic. They come after the tension in the atmosphere has built up to an almost unmanageable level, darkening the skies with a threatening gloom and only, finally, arriving to unleash the storm on the waiting world.

Tonight's storm has brought some much needed rain. The world outside my window is finally shiny with wetness under the streetlamps. The cars are kicking up the water as they drive by. It's been far too long since we had rain like this and it's nice to look out and enjoy it.

Of course, the rain meant the puppies and I couldn't take our evening walk around the neighbourhood. That's become a regular thing. I love it, especially on the cooler nights. We still see some of our neighbours though Larry the Potential Serial Killer hasn't been around much. However, alarmingly, last night, as we walked, he pulled up beside us in his car and said, "Hey Gorgeous! Haven't seen you in a while." I was ok until I realized by the "gorgeous" part, he was talking to me and not to my puppies. For one thing, I don't really feel gorgeous when I'm walking the pups and, secondly, well, it was Larry the Potential Serial Killer. Since when has he called me gorgeous? I was polite, though I made a mental note to make sure the puppies and I continued to avoid him. He wants to 'catch up.' As he got ready to drive up, he shouted out the window, "we have to plan when we can catch up."

Oh dear. By planning a 'catch up' session, this clearly means that Larry The Potential Serial Killer means more than a casual close encounter outside his house. If you've read my blog, you'll know I mean 'close encounter' literally. Larry is, as I've said, an 'up close and personal' talker without that lovely concept of "this is my space, this is your space."

I made an even stronger mental note to avoid Larry and his 'catch up' session. I was quite relieved when he drove off. I seriously hope he didn't think I meant I wanted to get together with him. I have this horrible habit of not realizing when I've innocently said I'd do something with a male friend only to find out he thinks it's a date. Fortunately, I have no intention of getting into that confusion with Larry the Potential Serial Killer. It does, however, alarm me that there might be the rather disconcerting possibility that, uh, Larry likes me. Damn me and my friendly ways.

Ah well, I suppose it should be good for my ego. Besides, it was a brief, if unsettling encounter. The pups and I managed to make it home where Rory, in her tendency to find ways to be slightly naughty even when she's trying to be good, managed to dislodge one of my large plastic flowerpots from its place on my plant rack on my patio. The pot fell to the ground and the dried up wedge of potting soil that had previously been the bed for a rather thriving basil plant bounced out. Rory promptly claimed her prize and grabbed the flowerpot which turned out to be bigger than she was. She scurried off down the garden with it. Seeing no harm, I left her to her own devices. Better a flowerpot than a baby bunny.

Of course, later that night, she decided she wanted to bring her new favourite thing into the house and arrived in the living room, her little mouth firmly gripping the rim of the flowerpot as she triumphantly managed to bring it inside. That's no small feat for a pup when the flowerpot is bigger than she is. I was going to take it away but she seemed so enamoured with it, I decided it was fine. It wasn't making a mess and she was having such a lovely time. She ended up laying on the floor, her head and half her body in the flowerpot for most of the evening. Meanwhile, Sookie just sat there and watched. I imagine, if Sookie were a human, she would spend much of her time, observing her sister, shaking her head and saying, "That Rory!"

This evening, Rory has abandoned her flowerpot. She has, instead, discovered the towel that I use to drape over their crate. She is currently lying on the towel, having a good old chomp while Sookie lays, watching intently, just a few feet away.

Still, given how wet it is outside, playing with a towel is actually a rather smart thing to do, even if that wasn't Rory's intention. It means I can use the towel to try off the girls' feet as they scamper in from being outside, lured by the call of the storm.

I love Autumn.

Happy Thursday!

Happy 500th Blogday to Me!

This is an important blog for me. It's the 500th one I've written.

I can't believe I've been blogging this long and I've managed to accumulate 500 of them. I remember when I was just dithering about whether to start a blog at all. I finally stopped dithering and started blogging. Here I am, 500 blogs later. My very first blog was written on October 14, 2008. That's two days shy of exactly two years ago.

It's been a fun experience, blogging. If you haven't noticed, my blog wavers from being an outlet for issues in my personal life- most notably my miserable job- to being a commentary on the randomness of life. Since I've had the puppies, it's also been a narrative on the trials and tribulations of being a pet parent.

I find it fitting that exactly 500 blogs later and who knows how many whines, revelations and snarky comments about my job, I'm leaving the job in three days. I finally grew tired of my own bitterness and frustration and decided to do something about it.

I've noticed that 'doing things' is a pattern in my life. It's a good pattern. While I tend to be self-deprecating and lack a fair amount of esteem on most days, I do think one of my fundamental good points is that I'm a 'do-er'. I might be a slight procrastinator on the doing but I do eventually...do it.

I look back in my life and I realize that, for the most part, I've always been in charge of it. I've always managed to do what I want, in some way or another. I decide I want to blog...I start a blog. Then I keep blogging and don't shut up so that eventually, I'm reaching my 500th blogday (that's what Captain Monkeypants is calling momentous days in blogging. Blogdays. Sort of like birthdays but not really).

I got bored of living in the Midwest. I wanted to be a screenwriter. I moved to L.A. I wrote screenplays. Then I decided I'd rather write novels but, nevertheless, I decided to do something and I did it. When I decided to write a novel, I did. Then I wrote 8 more. I'm writing number 10, as we speak. Well, not at this exact moment but I'm writing it at work due to the fact that my boss is still acting like I broke his professional heart and has cut me out of each and every meeting I really should attend in my attempts to make my departure smooth. Since he's now officially acting like I'm already gone, I've decided to also act like I've already gone. I'm still doing the work that gets assigned to me but when I have downtime, I'm enjoying pecking away on Emmy Goes to Hell. If he finds out and decides to let me go early, I shall skip down the hallway with joy. Seriously. If I didn't honour the fact I said I was giving two weeks' notice, I'd have left last Friday.

Anyway, after I wrote some of my novels and had been living in L.A. for almost 8 years, I realized that coming back to the Midwest to see my family were the happiest times in my life. It began to feel like I was leaving pieces of my heart/soul behind every time I got back on the plane to go home. I knew it was time to move back. So I did. I managed to snag a job at my current company who, at the time, were shielded by the finances of the university to which they used to belong, and moved back. Granted, my job has never fit me that well but it helped me move back and helped me find some friends here in southwestern Ohio.

After I was settled, I then decided I wanted to buy a house. So...I bought a house. I wanted a dog...so I got two. My most recent 'do-ing' escapade was realizing I'd not only bored my blog readers to death with the frustration and annoyance I felt with my job but also, my family was starting to get that glassy eyed look every time I had a little whine and a moan about it. I also realized I was boring myself with my frustration. So...I got another job.

This isn't my attempts to pat myself on the back and say, 'look at me, I'm bloody brilliant!'. It's just an attempt for me to show myself that despite the fact that I haven't been able to snag that lucrative yet elusive publishing contract or even so much as get a magazine story published, I've done some things in my life that aren't too shabby. My dream is to be a successful writer. My reality is that I'm a writer who needs to do something else to make money. My dream is to find a man with whom I click completely and can share my life. My reality is I have two little puppies and the hope that he's out there...somewhere. My dream is to have a house near the ocean someday so I can smell the sea as I write. My reality is a little house in the suburbs and a pumpkin spice candle.

What it comes down to is that even if I have a mental picture of my perfect life, the reality of what I really have isn't so bad. I look back over my 500 blogs and I see the good as well as the wallowing, depressed badness. Like any human, I have my ups and downs. My choice here, what I chose to do is to publish them online.

When I look at what I have blogged about, it's eclectic. If you scroll down on this page, to the right, near the bottom, you'll see a word cloud. This includes everything from my Stephanie Meyer rants to blogging about deer and Dexter to ladybugs, avocados, Mario Batali and fire extinguishers. It was originally supposed to be about my writing and the trials and tribulations of being a writer. In a way, it is. It's the portrait of someone who is a writer but that's not all she is. It's also the portrait of someone who clearly has had a beef with her job but hopefully that'll change over the next 500 blogs.

I'm going to keep blogging. I hope you'll keep reading. It's nice to know that there are people out there, reading my random musings. To each one of you, I thank you for reading along. It's been a fun 500. Hopefully the next 500 will be more fun. My new motto...less whining....more writing.

Although I don't necessarily mean that literally. If you haven't noticed, I'm horribly prolific. I'm a babbler. Perhaps I should make my motto, less whining, more concise writing.

But that wouldn't really be me, would it?

Thanks so much for reading. Happy Wednesday!