Not One of Those Days After All....

I'm hoping today's not going to be one of those days. It has a few of the signs of being one of those days. For example, I attempted to bake a loaf of bread in my breadmaker last night and I got up this morning to find an odd jagged looking scone-like loaf that was rock hard and inedible. I'm not sure what happened. I used the same recipe I always do. I put the ingredients in like I always do and yet...no bread. Most odd.

I had baked the bread with the intention of making fancy ham sandwiches for lunch. I love homemade bread on a good sandwich. So I had to go to plan B which was to make a salad. Fortunately, I had made a whopper bowl of salad for dinner last night so all I had to do was put some in my tupperware but it's not going to compare to the sandwich I had in my mind. I know you're thinking, "Wait, didn't Captain Monkeypants just complain about how sick she was of ham sandwiches and ham sandwich weather?" Well yes but not the kind of ham sandwich I had in my mind to make. That was to built around ham I had simmered all day yesterday in my crockpot with rosemary infusion. It would have had hydroponic butter lettuce and german mustard on my crusty homemade bread. That's definitely not the same as Oscar Meyer Deli Sliced ham slapped on two pieces of cheap wheat bread.

So, I must settle for my salad. The bread was a disappointment, however. I really wanted that sandwich.

The second sign that it's going to be one of those days is that literally the minute I had stepped outside of my apartment building, rain began to fall. When I say the minute I stepped out, I mean the exact moment I left the shelter. I made it to my car but, naturally, I had picked this morning to take out my rubbish. This means I had to run out in the pouring rain from the shelter of my car and get momentarily soaked just so my flat did not smell like rotting vegetables and stale bread. I have a very small trash can. It fills up fast and when you add a loaf of failed bread machine bread to it, it gets a bit full. So...I got wet.

I would have used my umbrella except one of them was at home and the other at the office. I made a note to myself to keep one in my car. The problem with non-ham-sandwich weather is that it's a tad unpredictable. I like that but I don't necessarily like getting soaked before I get to work and thus entering the office looking a little like a drowned rodent.

Those are really the only signs that it's going to be one of those days aside from the simple fact I had to go to work. I like my job. I just don't like politics and, after over six months of working for a company, I'm beginning to get fed of being the "new person". I know I'll be the new person until someone else new starts in my area but it means I have to constantly be pushed to the sidelines because I'm still not trusted completely, no matter how hard I work. I've had a lot of new jobs in my life because I variety. I've been the new person before. It takes time. I just have to be patient and, eventually, I'll feel secure in my job and not like I'm going to get fired because I'm useless. I'm going to try not to have one of those days at work.

Of course, in the course of my blogging, I've managed to publish my blog accidentally which means, currently, the world can read an unfinished mish-mash of words.

Sometimes I wonder if those days that I speak of, the ones we all have are of our own making or they're days in which the world just wants to take out its bad mood. I mean, we all have days like that. When I'm snippy and crotchety, my poor mother is my punching bag. She puts up with my attitude and listens to me complain. I also have some good friends who know that sometimes all I need to do is vent and get my frustation out of my system. Yet I know on days like that, nothing is going to make me content; I'm on edge and because I am, there's an invisible jagged barrier between me and the world; those are days on which I can't ever relax because nothing feels right.

Maybe the world around me is having a day like that. Or, maybe, more realistically, I'm having a day like that. It's still raining outside. I'm hoping the sun comes out, just for a little while. I'm going house hunting again tonight and my realtor is planning a marathon. I think I have 10 houses to see. I'm not complaining. I'm loving the hunt and the possibility that each place could become my home.

Yet, maybe if I don't concede and admit it's one of those days, it won't become one. Maybe my refusal to acknowledge it will make it not happen. Maybe all I need to do is put on my iPod, listen to the new Green Day song and focus on the positive. I mean, I have a job and I like it. Just because I'm not feeling like I completely fit yet doesn't mean I won't eventually. Maybe it's better that my ham sandwich plans were foiled; salad is healthier anyway. Maybe the fact that it started raining is a present because I love rain. In fact, when I look at the fact that I couldn't have a ham sandwich AND it's raining, maybe that's the universe's way of saying, "hey, you wanted this! I'm just trying to help you out!"

Which means it's definitely not one of those days. It's the opposite. That's a great thing.

Happy Tuesday.