Sunday, November 29, 2009

Black Friday, Thanksgiving and No Complaining Allowed!

I'm actually writing an early blog today rather than wait until tomorrow morning. This is because tomorrow is the Big Day at work in which we leave our cosy, familiar office building and move into our more "professional" corporate style offices. From all reports of the new office space, our particular division of the company has now been given new cubicles rather than the nice offices that the rest of the company has. In addition, our cubicles are designed so that our monitors face outwards rather than give us any privacy. As previously mentioned, I, for one, am slightly jumpy. Also, while I try not to abuse the freedom I've had at work to surf the internet, there are times when the mind-numbing dullness of my job drives me to escape to the world of Facebook once in a while. Thus, I'm slightly concerned that I may end up going a little crazy because I have absolutely no freedom.

However, we are all assured that our new offices are absolutely spectacular. Also, if we complain, we'll get fired.

Sadly, this is not an exaggeration. I believe the exact words were, "if you complain, consider it your last day at [insert company name here]."

Now, while I am not an ungrateful brat, I do understand that great expense and time was spent on our office and I'm sure it's splendid. I'm sure it's the best office that ever existed.

I just have to admit, I don't particularly care for the fact that we are, essentially, being threatened if we dare use that dastardly right to freedom of speech and express even the slightest negativity.

Of course, I would never do such a thing. Ever. Since my boss made a slight reference to the fact that he knew I had a blog, I'm wondering if that whole complaining thing applies here. If so...I'm doomed. Doomed, I say.

Unless, of course, I do what I'm doing now and write when I'm NOT in the office and thus can complain as much as I like.

As you can see, I'm already feeling a little negative towards the whole situation. I simply don't like being threatened. Also, I like to have a little freedom while I work instead of feeling like I'm being carefully monitored.

Still, I'm lucky enough to have had an entire week away from the office due to the fact that were were moving and, also, there was that lovely Thanksgiving holiday.

I enjoyed my holiday immensely. Even the actual Thanksgiving dinner turned out rather well thanks to some rather absurdly organized scheduling. I believe I can officially say that I watch too much Food Network. By the end of Thanksgiving Eve, I had managed to plot out the time table for prepping the food, cooking the food and plating the food.

My mother and I cooked the meal. All together, it took about five hours of prepping, roasting, sauteeing and roasting. It took approximately 20 minutes for the family to eat it.

I suppose that's the point. It's just that when you are actually the one who helps cook it, it's a little painful to watch those stuffing balls that took quite a long time to prepare, cook, cool, shape and roast disappear quite so quickly. It's also just a wee bit painful because you just want to hold onto the food for a while and admire the fact that it all got cooked with only one teensy little incident with roasted root vegetables and an electric skillet and one minor over-boiling of the mashed potatoes.

Still, it was a good holiday and any excuse to make roast turkey is ok by me.

Of course, cooking Thanksgiving dinner for 14 people is nothing compared to the chaos of the day that follows it.

Yes, once again, my sister and I were among the insane folk who were waiting at Walmart at 4:30 a.m. for Black Friday to begin.

Once again, I got to witness the chaos of a segment of the population who were going to get that 32 inch big screen LCD TV for $249.

Fortunately, neither my sister or I did not need a TV. We focused on the smaller items. Unfortunately, some of them were in the same aisle as the TV so there were so near misses with crazy people. Let me just say that being hit in the thigh with a shopping cart hurts a bit. Nevertheless, by 5:30 a.m. we were on our way to our next stop.

In the end, we spent 13 hours shopping. We saw humanity at its finest and most bizarre. For the record, if there is no parking spot in parking lot that's within reasonable walking distance, it is NOT ok to park on the sidewalk outside a store. Also, it is not smart to just abandon your mini-van wherever you want to because, chances are, there's a reason no one else was parked there.

Nevertheless, I have to confess, I love Black Friday. I love the chaos of Walmart at 5 a.m. and I love being done with shopping around noon. I also love having the freedom to continue shopping for a few hours after lunch, even though you've already been at it a very long time.

It was a good weekend. Not only did I get to spend time with my family but I got to catch up with friends and see "New Moon."

Yes. I confess. I willingly saw "New Moon." Regular readers know how I feel about the Twilight saga. I think it's asinine and dumb. I think Bella Swan needs to be tied up and yelled at for being such a pathetic role model for women. Also, I think any man named Edward is never going to be particularly masculine and tough no matter how much he sparkles in the sunshine. So why did I see the movie? Well, for all the reasons above. I have decided to embrace the fact that the movies are terrible. I am fortunate enough to have a friend with whom I can see the movies who understands why, sometimes, it's good to see a movie purely because it's going to be so silly, it's delicious. Thus, rather than write tomes regarding the creepiness of a shapeshifter (formerly known as a werewolf) who falls for an infant and the ickiness of a vampire who chews through his wife's placenta to deliver said infant, I'm just going to embrace the daftness. Also, sometimes, you just need to mock and "New Moon" was perfect for this. I don't quite think the Twi-hards in the theatre appreciate my friend's and my own snickers at the melodramatic dialogue and need for Kristin Stewart once again to play second fiddle to her hair but I, personally, had a great time. Isn't that really the point of movies?

Anyway, now it's Sunday night. Tomorrow morning begins a new era at work. It may mean I will have to be a good little Monkeypants and not blog quite so much from work. However, I will continue to blog regularly because I have to have an outlet of some kind. Also, because it's fun. Also, because I'm not permitted to speak my mind at work. Not that I think there'd be any reason to complain because it's perfectly natural for a company president to send a warning email like that...right?

Of course, the way my mind works, it's kind of like having someone who looks a little unusual and being told NOT to stare...the first thing you want to do is stare. Or being told that it's a serious occasion and you are NOT to laugh...yes....I'm the one that's trying to stifle giggles because the mere act of not being allowed to laugh suddenly seems funny. Not being allowed to complain means...I might be in trouble.

Oh dear.

Happy Monday and thanks, as always, for reading.


Ladyaero said...

Hola Ms. M.P.! I was catching up on some of your posts and had to follow the Twilight posts back in time and read them too. It cracks me up, 'cause when I was reading the one about teenage obsessions (a la "The Outsiders" for you), it perfectly illustrated why I do like the Twilight books- I am, sadly, (ask Frida, she'll confirm it) a 16 year old girl in a 36 year old's body. Sigh. I can't help it. I love fairy tales and really far fetched eternal love stories, and I can't get enough of a cheesy love triangle. I will suspend my disbelief 'til the cows come home, just smile and say "Really, she's 17 but knows this is undying love? Sure! Why the hell not?" or "Really? He's been a vampire for 90 years and went through a killing people phase, but he's still a virgin? Of course!" I'm afraid I have no justification, no explanation for it. So, I will just ask that when you think of poor saps like me who have been sucked in, you smile a tolerant smile, mentally pat us on the head, say "There, there, we all have our foibles" and send us a list of new book recommendations so we can move on to a new obsession. :-)

Captain Monkeypants said...

Ok, Ladyaero- you have won me over. As long as you're not putting up posters of Edward and/or Jacob on your wall, I'll allow you your foibles. I realize that, as a writer, I'm probably WAY harsher on Stephanie Meyer than I'd ordinarily be but I think I just like my vampires with a bit of an edge. Have you read the Sookie Stackhouse novels? If not, start with Dead until Dark and read at least through Dead to the World. :) But, I do understand what you're saying- sometimes it's nice to throw all reality and common sense out the window and just say, 'ok, then! cheesy love triangle away!. I think it just goes to show that no matter how much we 'grow up' or (at least) age, we've all still got a moody teenager trapped inside us :)

Ladyaero said...

I promise no posters on my walls, but I will say that I thought Rob Pattinson was a cutie way back in his Cedric Diggory days, so I claim an exemption on that one, due to pre-Twilight admiration. ;-P