Sunday, September 19, 2010

Battery Recharging Weekends....

It's already Sunday evening again. I'm sitting here, writing this as storm clouds are rolling in overhead. I'm hoping that means we're in for some rain since we've still be thwarted in our precipitation for nearly a month- aside from the odd short shower or two. It's possible though that the rain may drift over without falling as seems to happen so often lately.

It'd be nice to have a little rain, to curl up on this Sunday evening in front of the TV while the puppies play on the floor. Chances are I'll do that anyway but the sound of the rain on the window always makes it better.

It would be a nice way to end a lovely weekend. It seems that some of the best weekends are those which don't really have any plans. In my case, I headed home to my parents but didn't have too much in mind.

I ended up getting to spend some quality time with my parents and to help my sister study for her national nurses test- the NCLEX- which she takes on Tuesday. Listening to her respond to my quizzing, I have absolutely no doubt she'll do anything but pass but my sister is a worrier and extremely talented at doubting herself. I think once she sits down at the computer terminal to take the test, she'll get in the zone. Until then, moments of panic are rushing at her as so often happens when you're faced with something rather scary.

Still, even with those moments of panic, we managed to have a fun time studying. We were focused on drugs. I would look up the drug in the reference guide she provided and she would attempt to tell me what the drug was far and much more detailed information about it. While she rattled off jargon like she was born speaking it, I couldn't pronounce half the words. I find lipid-reducing medications rather hard to pronounce. Actually, most generic drug names are hard to pronounce.

Equipped with junk food and pumpkin ale, we had a fine study party. My sister proved she knows her stuff and I got to learn fascinating things about drugs. I'm curious about Ambien, a drug for insomnia whose side effects include hallucinations, sleep-driving and 'abnormal thoughts.' More than anything, I'm curious about the abnormal thoughts. That could mean a lot, couldn't it? And by whose standard are they judging the thoughts? I mean, me, for example, have quite a few thoughts that others perceive to be abnormal. I mean, when you're sitting in a meeting and suddenly wondering what would happen if a homicidal jack-in-the-box popped up, that's a little abnormal...right? And yet, that's my thought process. Needless to say, Ambien fascinated me.

I think my sister is in good shape. I can't wait for her to be done with it. I think she'll feel that magnificant sensation of having a weight lifted off her shoulders as soon as she's done and she gets home that evening. Send happy thoughts here way Tuesday though, if you don't mind. I know she'll appreciate it.

Aside from the studying, I did very little at my parents' except relax with them and keep an eye on the puppies. My parents have two nice ponds that have fish in them as well as a plethora of frogs. Rory has decided that she likes to frog-hunt and managed to get rather wet a few times while persuing the frogs. She never caught one but that didn't stop her from plunging her face into the water and coming up with sticks, leaves and rocks. Sookie, meanwhile, nonchalantly stood by, letting her sister do the wet, dirty work and then proceeded to snatch the retrieved sticks, leaves and rocks from Rory. She's sneaky, that Sookie.

All in all, it was the type of weekend I needed. It was the type of weekend that lets you recharge your batteries. Things at work haven't been going spectacularly lately. I'm feeling more and more like no matter what I do, nothing is going to change in my favour and it's hard to deal with the politics. I've spoken to my boss, our current president and also our president who will take over when our current one resigns in December. I still don't feel hopeful that I'll be given more duties that will make me feel useful. I mean, on Friday, my boss told me a large chunk of my job will soon be obselete and then he said, "So what do you want to do instead?"

That wasn't a question I was anticipating. It also wasn't a fair one. I'm very low on the totem pole at work and for my boss, who currently is second in command, asks me to define my own job, I think that's a little unfair. While I like having a say in my work, I do need to feel like I'm there to be useful to my company and I can't help but think it's not my responsibility to figure out what I should do to earn my salary. I mean, sure, I am a self-starter. I am an independent worker but I like a little guidance at first. I did manage to give my boss a couple of potential responsibilities but I admit, I'm a little afraid that this means my job isn't as secure as I'd like.

I was worried on Friday. Then I went to my parents and, as always, my mother had wise words of wisdom. She reminded me that it's just a job. I've said that in my blog before, several times. There have been periods when I fully believe that and while I do the best I can in the office, I don't worry and I don't get caught up in the politics. Then something happens and I stupidly forget that attitude and I start to get caught up in it. I need to step back again.

It is just a job. It's the means to support my writing, my puppies and my horrible Bejeweled Blitz habit. It's the way to support my need to need to splurge and buy fancy cooking ingredients like Maldon Sea Salt and quail eggs.

It's just a paycheck. Sure, it'd be nice to feel that satisfaction in my work that I've felt in other jobs but, for now, this is where I am in life and I can't let it bring me down. Maybe things will improve at this job, maybe I'll have to keep looking for another job elsewhere but for better or for worse, this is where I I need to just let the annoyances of the office roll off me. I've done it before and I can do it again.

So, even though the weekend is winding down, I feel fine about it. Battery recharging weekends can make you feel like everything's better by the end. In my case, that's definitely true. All it takes is some good family time and being reminded of the important things in life. I got that out of my weekend.

And if even looks like the storm clouds might be yielding their rain to the earth. Things are looking up.

Happy Monday!

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