Monday, September 27, 2010

The Devil You Know vs. The One You Don't

Today, it is rainy. It's the first real rainy day we've had in a couple of months. This morning, it was much darker than usual when I went to work and it was quite late before daylight showed up. The rest of the day has been dim and grey.

It was the kind of day where staying home in my comfy clothes, curled up with a book and doing a little writing while preparing something warm and comforting for dinner like beef stew or roast chicken.

Instead, I went to work and appreciated the rain from there instead. Lately, work has been insanely busy. My boss offered me a slightly more elevated role at work last week. Coincidentally, the offer came the day after I had a job interview which I had stupidly scheduled on my cell phone while standing within hearing range of our president's office. That's the problem with having a cubicle and not an office: There's just no privacy.

The thing is, the job interview last week got me excited. I think it went well. It was for a much different job than the one I have now although related to computers and software. I thought I did well at the interview and I left feeling cheerful and upbeat that I might soon be able to escape the office and the politics of my current job.

Then my boss dangles a carrot in front of my nose and though I won't hear from the job interview until tomorrow, my boss's offer is already making me have second thoughts. He's finally offered me more responsibility in a capacity I've been wanting for a while. He's dangled the carrot of a possible pay raise.

Yet what I think it comes down to is that age old argument of the devil you know vs. the one you don't. The people at the office where I had my interview seemed really nice. They seemed happy. They seemed to like their jobs. The only thing I could have seen as a potential issue is that the salary is metric based meaning part of my earnings would be based on commission.

That scares me. Sometimes I have to scrape by with my bills as it is. The idea of making less with only the potential to make more is a little bit worrying.

And yet, it would be a new place.

But...yet it would be a new place. As I've mentioned several times, I'm a creature who likes her habits. At this current office, even though I spend my share of days wanting to slap a bit of duct tape over certain people's mouths and visualizing stabbing them in the forehead with a pencil when they annoy me, it's comfortable. When I get to do what I enjoy doing, I really like my job. It's only when it slows down and I have to scramble to keep busy that I dislike my job and then I start paying attention to the pettiness that exists around the office and the seeing what others have vs. the stuff I don't have.

But when it goes well, I like my job. I like several of my coworkers. For better or for worse, it's my home away from home.

And, besides, given the changes I've had to roll with since I started working at the company- sales, mergers, moves, etc- I feel like I've earned my battle scars and I belong there.

Then there's the enticement of a new opportunity. Who knows what that would hold? It could change my life.

Well, the nice thing is I don't have to make a decision. I may never have to make the decision if I end up not getting the other job. In a way, a small part of me hopes that happens because having to choose is always hard. The rest of me likes the idea that there could be a way out to new opportunities.

I'll just have to wait and see. In the meantime, I think I'll enjoy my rainy evening and drown myself in some bad TV.

Sometimes, that's all you really need, anyway.

Happy Tuesday!

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