No, that's not my opinion on the election. I am not holing up like the Unabomber, ready to unleash gunpower and treason on my government, friends or family. I'd be a lousy Unabomber anyway; I'm not good at being out in nature unless it involves a fancy cabin or hotel room with a working shower and a fluffy pillow. Thus, holing up in a ramshackle cabin....not for me.
The rhyme is one from my youth, one we used to say in school all the time on this date. It's a reminder that today, in the UK (and parts of Canada, South Africa, Australia and other countries that used to have something to do with with Britain) it is Guy Fawkes Day, aka. Bonfire Night. As I mentioned, when I was a kid, Halloween was not big in the UK. Instead, we moved quickly past it onto Bonfire Night.
First, a little history for those of you who don't really know what it is or you haven't see V for 
Vendetta. Guy Fawkes was a major part of a group of English Roman Catholic revolutionaries who weren't too happy with the King and government of England in 1605. King James I hadn't been very nice to the Catholics and so Guy Fawkes and his co-conspirators decided to take action. Long story short (and cutting out all the politics and all that), they decided to blow up the houses of Parliment and get rid of the government and King, once and for all by putting a lot of gunpowder under Parliment and blowing it up.
Except they put Guy Fawkes in charge of the job and, well, his group wasn't any Oceans 11. Some of the group were a bit upset that they'd not only be blowing up the government but also killing quite a few Catholics who were members of Parliment. So they got cold feet and warned one of the members of Parliment who proceeded to discover the plot and all the barrels of gunpowder. Problem is, they didn't tell poor Guy. Who, naturally, got caught on November 5th, 1605.
A few days of torture followed, Guy and his conspirators confessed and they were hanged, drawn and quartered For those of you who've heard the phrase and don't know what it means, well, it's not very nice. And I feel a bit bad about describing it but I will anyway so if you have a weak stomach, you can skip this part:
Basically, the victim was hung by his neck until he was almost dead. Then, before he could escape his misery, he was drawn. This means he was disembowelled and emasculated, his genitalia and entrails were then burned in front of him. Then he was quartered meaning that it was cut into four parts and beheaded. Finally, the pieces of the criminal were displayed in various places as a warning to those who might be thinking of committing treason.
Did I mention that the British have a bit of a violent past?
So, you'd think that would be the end of Mr. Fawkes. And, physically, it was. But from that point onwards, Britain has celebrated the fact that the plot failed and Parliment still stands. Nowadays, the day is most commonly known as Bonfire Night.
Bonfire night, I admit, is a bit of a strange celebration. Until recent years, children would make a "Guy", a scarecrow-like effigy of Guy Fawkes that they would push around in a wheelbarrow, pram, shopping cart, whatever wheeled-device they could find that would let their "Guy" ride around. They'd collect pennies for the "Guy" and people would donate money, supposedly based on how good the "Guy" looked. The children would then use the money to buy fireworks which they would light on Bonfire Night. Well, actually, I'd like to think that those children would actually give the fireworks to their parents who would light them.
In recent years, it is no longer legal for kids under 18 to buy fireworks. I don't know how big the "Penny for the Guy" tradition is anymore. Most of the time, even when I was little, not many people collected money from their "Guy". Instead, most kids built a "Guy"for Bonfire Night.
Bonfire Night usually consists of a feast of traditional Bonfire Night Food: Baked potatoes (known as jacket potatoes in the UK), sausages, baked beans and other hearty and homey dishes. Often the potatoes are cooked on the bonfire (side note: SO tasty). Brits gather round bonfires, throw on the effigy of "Guy" and watch him burn up. Then they have fireworks.
It's fun. I loved it when I was younger. It was exciting and I liked a good firework or two. There's nothing more fun as a kid than holding a sparkler out on a crisp, chilling November night, writing your name and smelling that acrid smell of gunpowder. I suppose it was a good way to remember that gunpowder can be used safely and effectively and didn't have to be used to blow up people.
Granted, when I write it out like this or, actually, try to explain it to people as I have in the past, it does sound a little brutal. And paganistic. And not very nice. Yet as I pointed out in my "Deer, Dexter and the Darkness Within" post, the British have always been a little, um, vicious. Back in the days of Guy Fawkes (and a couple of centuries afterwards), there was no messing around with criminals. They'd be hung or killed in whatever method was most effective in demonstrating why you DON'T cross the monarchy (and/or government). In Mr. Fawkes' case, it was drawn and quartering. I suppose it was effective, no one's tried to blow up Parliment since, at least not that I know of. It was a little brutal though. On the plus side, no one ever forgot about Guy so I suppose you could say at least he made his mark.
So, that's today's history lesson. I couldn't bring myself to talk about the election because there are enough blogs out there doing that today. Also, I'm sick of it. Congratulations, Obama. I hope you can fix everything and be magical and be a fantastic leader. And, if you're not, it's ok. Nowadays, we have ways of getting ridding of leaders without using gunpowder, treason and plot.
Just kidding. I'll let the experts analyze the results, the reasons and the hope of the Nation. Me, I'll stick to saluting this dark and awesome British Holiday. I have my jacket potatoes cooking, my sausages ready to go. I may not be able to light a bonfire but I can, at least, drink a toast to the bizarre history of the UK.
Happy Guy Fawkes Day!
No comments:
Post a Comment