Thursday, March 24, 2011

Commerical Seasonal Disorder and Other Rather Random Musings

It was snowing when I went home from lunch. It wasn’t the good, fluffy type of snow that I love but the cold, not-quite-sure-if-it-should-be-rain-or-snow pellets that actually sting a little when they hit you. It’s a peculiar juxtaposition to see the bright yellow daffodils bowing their heads in the grey day.

It’s hard to know what to do when the weather is like this. Just yesterday, I was overly warm as I walked the pups around the neighbourhood wearing just a light cardigan. Today, I had to dig out my winter coat and I’m not sure it’s going to be warm enough to walk the girls. They quickly got used to the warmer weather and this morning, when I let them out, they trotted right back in and gave me an accusing stare as if to say, “Where’s the sun? Give it back!”

The weekend is also supposed to be grey and gloomy. I had plans to work out in the garden. Right now, my Tuscan room redesign project is at a standstill. The room is done except for the floor and getting a few pieces of furniture and I can’t do the floor until I get my dad to help me move the rather heavy cast-iron stove that dominates the room.

I should use the colder weather as an excuse to indulge in some of the activities I can’t justify when the weather’s nice. Staying inside and doing jigsaw puzzles, for example. Curling up on the sofa and watching bad movies would be another one. Even though I could do these things when the weather’s nice, I feel horribly guilty and feel as though I should be doing something more useful.

The problem with getting a taste of spring is that you quickly get used to it. I had mentally accepted the fact that it was time to start planting seeds and landscaping when, in fact, it really is too early, just as it is every year when I do the same thing. We’re still getting snow. Since most of the seeds I have state that they shouldn’t be planted until danger of frost is passed, it’s definitely far too early to think about planting them, especially when we’re still getting snow, never mind frost.

I’m pretty impatient my nature. I do recognize this fact but it doesn’t change it. This is why I want it to snow in October and why I want the weather to turn warm in April. I love winter and I like it when it arrives and passes but when spring starts being a possibility, I want it to be spring. The only season I don’t anticipate is summer. I’d rather have a very long spring and go right to autumn. Summer is hot, humid, full of bugs, flamingos and pink plastic drinking glasses.

You may wonder how flamingos and pink plastic drinking glasses belong in that sentence. It’s because when I think of seasons, my brain automatically jumps to associations. Spring is full of pretty flowery gardening gloves, little garden ornaments and seeds. These are what signify the season in the stores. Then when summer is nearing, the displays change to plastic tableware, patriotic stuff and paddling pools. Autumn is fake leaves and scarecrows. Winter is hot chocolate, gloves and snowman stuff.

I am quite aware that I’ve allowed commercialism to invade my perception. It’s not a good thing. Yet I can’t help it. It’s happened and I am a victim of Commercial Seasonal Disorder (CSD). It’s a new condition. I invented it. Feel free to use it.

So, it’s established. I suffer from CSD. Thus, when I think of summer, my brain thinks of plastic novelty ice-cubes in the shapes of summary things like fish and flamingoes.

What flamingoes have to do with summer, I do not know but doesn’t it seem like they’re featured a lot during the summer? Whoever decided flamingoes were summary? Is it because they’re bright pink?

Oops. I went off on a tangent. Imagine that. Back to the topic at hand- My impatience.

I’m impatient for spring now. I’m not angry with winter for intruding on the next season. After all, spring trod on winter’s territory. I appreciate the last minute snow. It’s just…well….my mind was already harvesting the first asparagus spears and that’s a little hard to do when there’s frozen precipitation coming down around my head.

Also, I’ve already bought seeds and my flowery gardening gloves and thusly given in to my CSD for Spring. Therefore, it should be spring.

We’ve also moved the clocks forward. SPRINGed them forward. Well, sprung, really but it doesn’t have the same emphasis on the season if you say sprung. Although, now I think about it, people say “I wintered in Florida” and “we summered in the Hamptons.” Do they say “we springed in Myrtle Beach or “We sprung in Myrtle Beach.”?

I apologize. I’m exposing you to a little more of how my mind actually works than usual. Normally, I filter my thoughts a little more when I blog so that you don’t know how strange I actually am. My mind has a tendency to wonder about odd things. For example, I’ve always wondered when they change the light bulbs on traffic lights. I’ve never seen them do it but obviously, they must burn out. I could look it up online, I suppose but I like to wonder. It’s harder to wonder with the internet at your fingertips to give you an instant answer although it is convenient, I suppose.

But sometimes, you don’t want to know….you just want to come up with a fictional answer of your own. For example, a candidate was asked “Why is a manhole cover round” in an interview. This, apparently, is a question that Microsoft ask their candidates. There are all sorts of logical answers online to be found. My first response is because it’s easier for a man to climb through because his head is round. This is not the correct answer, not is it logical. The power of the internet told me how wrong I was. I don’t like finding out I’m wrong. I like to wonder things. I suppose I don’t have to look them up but, well, I’m also fond of closure so I’m compelled. This is a personal issue but along with my impatience and my CSD, I do recognize it and as I and G.I Joe always say, “Knowing is half the battle.”

Doing something about it is the other half of the battle, I think. Of course, I don’t think G.I. Joe ever explained that. He might have done but I’m not really a G.I. Joe fan. I just steal his phrases. In England, our version of G.I. Joe is Action Man. I’m not joking. Boys play with Action Man. Girls play with Sindy. We have Barbie too but the British fashion doll is Sindy. I always thought she seemed a bit of a priss but I still had one. I had a Barbie too. I didn’t really play with them. I just cut their hair, changed their clothes and then got bored and picked up a book instead. Yes, I was a nerd but knowing is half the battle, remember?

It turns out that this is a self-awareness blog on my part. I had no idea it would end up that way but, well, that’s what happens when you have absolutely nothing to blog about and end up just randomly typing. Now I’ve established that I know a) that I am impatient, b) I have Commercial Seasonal Disorder, c) I need closure and d) I’m a nerd.

I appreciate you staying with me if you still are reading. You’re very kind.

I think, however, that this blog proves that it’s been a long week and I might just be ready for a weekend, even one that is unplanned and supposed to be cold and unspringlike. Never mind, Spring will take grasp soon enough and I’ll probably be blogging about how much I hate mowing the lawn.

At least I’m consistent.

Happy Friday, have a great weekend and thanks for reading!

1 comment:

Sarah said...

This email made my day, Captain Monkeypants! Reading it made me feel like I was sitting there listening to you talk...I could hear your voice as you bounced from thought to thought. Miss you!