Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The Limit of Zombies and Other Musings...

Today, it is Tuesday. This is significant because it means it is NOT Monday. Also, Tuesdays are always much kinder than Mondays.

My Tuesday began with a dream about zombies. It was a rather alarming dream in which I discovered that not only was there a zombie apocalypse out there but, also, I had been volunteered to join the fighters who were going to take them on. This lead to a rather alarming reunion with virtually every human being who’s played a role in my life that turned into a dance party. This, of course, was penetrated by the zombies and when I escaped to safety with all of the people I knew, it turned out we were actually already dead and we were to walk into the light together.

I blame this dream on a) my catching up on AMC’s “The Walking Dead” TV show. It has sat on my DVR for months. I’m finally watching it. It’s true zombie glory. If you like zombies. I do. I also blame it on b) the TV show “Lost” because at the end of “Lost”, the cast finds out they’re all dead and walks into the light.

I probably should have done the courteous ***SPOILER ALERT*** on the above paragraph just in case you haven’t seen “Lost” in its entirety yet and I’ve just ruined it. Yet, mean as it sounds, if you haven’t and still don’t want to be spoiled almost a YEAR after it aired, that’s not my problem. Also, it’s nothing that won’t have been spoiled by every entertainment magazine/website/blog out there.

Besides, I was talking about my dream which was an amalgamation of two TV shows as well as my own bizarrely twisted imagination. If you throw in the fact that the character of Bailey from “Grey’s Anatomy” was also in my dream and she joined us in the afterworld because she was killed by zombies while performing surgery, it’s an amalgamation of THREE TV shows. This goes to show a few things- a) How impressed you are that I used the word amalgamation without having to reach for a thesaurus to do so, (Ok, fine, I thought not), b) I let TV seep a little too much into my subconscious and c) even when you’re dreaming, thinking you and everyone you love is dead is a little scary.

By the way, I refuse to acknowledge that perhaps it also means I watch too much TV. I’d like to think I have a nice healthy balance of TV shows. On a week with no reruns, it’s probably six hours a week. Maybe seven if I watch the “Graham Norton Show” on BBC America on a Saturday evening. Given that each show has adverts and runs at approximately 42 minutes per show, even with Graham Norton, this means I really only watch 4.9 hours of TV. Really, in the grand scheme of things, that isn’t really very much when you consider how much I could be watching. Yes, I’m defensive. Also, I love TV, so there.

One more thing, Food Network doesn’t count as TV time. Now, if Bobby Flay had been one of the zombies in my dream or Mario Batali had his brain eating by a pack of zombies then you might argue that my TV time should be curtailed a little.

I digress. The fact is, I dreamed I was dead this morning. Being dead in a dream is fascinating because one part of you knows it’s a dream and the other is slightly freaked out when you wake up that you might actually be dead. Even when you awaken to the weight of a small dachshund sitting on your head and waiting to start licking your nose as soon as your eyes open, there’s still a slight moment of disorientation as to whether you’re still in the dream or not and are, in fact, still dead in the dream.

I’m glad I wasn’t really dead. Also, I’m glad that all my friends/family/acquaintances who moved on into the light with me in my dream are also not dead. That would be weird. Also, it would mean I was on a first name basis with Bailey from “Grey’s Anatomy” and considering she’s a fictional character, that would be rather peculiar and unrealistic.

Then there are the zombies. I’ve had a lot of dreams about zombies lately. This is actually what triggered me to actually watch “The Walking Dead” because I had a dream about zombies.

I like zombies. I like “The Walking Dead”. I think, however, it’s time to move onto another horror-creature that’s a little…less limited.

The thing with zombies is they really don’t do much but lurch and shuffle, look disgusting and eat brains, flesh or body parts. Sometimes, they grunt “BRAINS” a lot. Sometimes, they’re created by a virus. Sometimes they’re created by a supernatural occurrence. Sometimes, they’re just…created with no explanation given. Yet, really, there’s not much you can do with a zombie. They try to kill the non-zombie-still-humans. The non-zombie-still-humans form little groups to try to destroy the zombies. Yet, ultimately, when the world has experienced a zombie apocalypse, what’s the end result going to be, really? It’s the population of the world as zombies against a rag-tag bunch of survivors. Procreation can only do so much.

At least with werewolves and vampires, there’s still a human tie. They can think and feel and thus, have personalities. Granted, this is not always the case (see: Twilight) but the potential is there. Not so much with a zombie. If a zombie did have a personality, he probably wouldn’t be a zombie, would he? Because if zombies become reasoning, thinking things that live in a somewhat civilized manner, we’d call them a vampire. We already have a genre for that.

You might wonder why I’ve just spent 15 minutes randomly musing about dreams and zombies. The fact is…I have absolutely no idea. It’s Fat/Shrove Tuesday today (aka: Mardi Gras); I probably should have written about that or something else more meaningful.

Still, for today, you get one of my more random blogs. Feel free to chime in on your own thoughts about zombies. I’m happy to entertain the possibility that I’m wrong and they’re not nearly as limited as I think.

Besides, it might even mean another dream about zombies which you’ll get to hear about. Aren’t you lucky?

Thanks, as always for reading!

Happy Fat/Shrove Tuesday, happy Mardi Gras and watch out for those zombies (although it might be hard if you’re going to a true Mardi Gras celebration!)

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