I think I have a psychological aversion to Mondays. Every week, I bemoan them and complain about them because they always end up being very Mondaylike.
This week, I decided to not be so negative about Monday and, instead, approach it like any other day. I’d had a long weekend so there was no reason that my Monday should have to be, well, a Monday.
Unfortunately, it seems that even when I try, Monday wins. It’s not like anything bad happened or I have any reason to not be happy today but something about the day tends to make everything just seem….blah.
I woke up from a very comfortable sleep. I had a puppy cuddled under one arm, teddy-bear style and the other snuggled up beside me on top of the covers. I was actually surprised to discover that Rory was my teddy-bear because normally, that’s Sookie’s position. This might have explained why when I finally opened my eyes, I saw Sookie staring at me with betrayal in her eyes. She doesn’t like it when Rory gets cuddled and she doesn’t and Rory’s side of the bed was NOT the side that Rory was sleeping on this morning. It didn’t help that Rory, who tends to be rather a vocal dog, did her best Moaning Myrtle this morning. Moaning Myrtle is what I call her when she starts grumbling. She has a habit of making a groaning noise in her throat whenever she’s perturbed. Based on the rather loud, rather frequent grumblings this morning, she was quite perturbed to get up.
Needless to say, beginning the day with one grumbling, perturbed dog and another that’s sulky because she wasn’t getting her normal cuddle d was not a good sign.
Still, I tried to be positive when I got to work. I reminded myself that not only do I like my job but I also like my boss and my coworkers and those are good things indeed.
Yet, somehow, even though the day was busier than it has been in a while, the Mondays still managed to seep in. No matter how much I tried to fight it, I just felt….blah.
The blahs are no fun. They’re different from the ‘crabbies’ because I’m not crotchety or cranky. Instead, I just feel…quiet. I don’t feel like chatting to people and I don’t feel like doing very much of anything. I just feel like staying in my own world and doing my own thing.
They generally happen on a Monday. The weekend has passed and the workweek lies ahead. I don’t have any plans for the evenings or the weekend. I just feel, well…blah.
I’m sure there are cures for the blahs but I find that if I just wait, they pass quite easily on their own. Sometimes the blahs stick around and these are generally when I feel rather lonely and that my life is pretty boring. My life isn’t exactly a thrill-a-minute. It probably could be but I’ve found that I’m not a terribly thrilling person.
Most of the time, I don’t mind that my life is quiet. The loneliness is usually helped by having two dogs around. It’s amazing how much company two canines can be. I do wish that occasionally they could carry on a conversation with me but, at the same time, we have the most comfortable silences ever.
There are times when I do feel lonely and that I probably should do something about it. I’m not even talking about male companionship though sometimes that might be nice. More than anything, I’d like to find some more friends.
The thing is, that’s quite hard when you’re an adult. Through the school/college years, you’re surrounded by a group of peers that you see often. Thus, it’s natural and easy to make friends. As an adult when you spend most of your time at work, it gets harder. Certainly, there’s nothing wrong with being friends with coworkers. Some of my closest friends are former coworkers. However, it would be nice to be able to make other friends who I don’t see every single day at the office.
I know there are ways. I could join…something- a book group, a gym, a class…something. Yet it’s hard to break into an inner circle. I’ve never known how you find a book club. I’m not terribly good at going to the gym regularly. I could take a class in something but, well, I don’t particularly want too much of an academic commitment when I’m trying to start a new novel. I could try a church group but, as an outsider, it’s intimidating to try to find a church and immediately belong. Also, I’m not particularly good at being a regular churchgoer so I’d feel a bit hypocritical. It sounds weird but it’s the truth.
I have excuses for everything, I know. And it’s not like I don’t have friends. It’s just my friends are…not here in Cincinnati. They’re all over the place but not within the distance where I could say, “Hey, want to come over and have a “Gilmore Girls” marathon with me?” or invite over for dinner because I’m making extra.
I think it might be easier for parents. They have children who make friends. Thus, the parents generally start to get to know one another and friendships are born or they have activities that their children share. Singlefolk like me have a harder time.
I just don’t know how to go out to make friends anymore. I think I’ve lost the knack. Whatever I do will probably mean going outside my comfort zone but where to start is always the biggest question. If anyone has any suggestions, I’d love to hear from you.
Still, it’s not like I’m hurting for friends, as I said. I’m lucky enough to have several very good friends with whom I can discuss everything from sex, fitness and nutrition and the benefits of owning a fish spatula. If I had no friends, I’d be worried that I was a pariah but I know this is not the case. I’m just feeling a little clueless and fish-out-of-water-y at the moment. It’s probably just the blahs from which I’m suffering and for which I’m blaming the very presence of Monday.
I’m quite sure that the blahs will drift away as soon as the week begins to move forward towards the weekend. When even your dogs seem to know it’s a Monday, that doesn’t bode well to begin with, even when you intend to approach the day with positivity.
Still, there’s always tomorrow. Let positivity abound!