Thursday, May 13, 2010

Overactive Imagination vs. The Kindness of Strangers

It's a soupy night out there. If you've never lived anywhere with humidity, you might not know what I'm talking about but, chances are, you have. It's the type of night where no matter what you do, you feel sticky; when you go outside, the bugs flock to you and though you don't see them, somehow you come in with a few mosquito bites, even when you sprayed repellent.

We're supposed to have storms tonight and I hope we do. The atmosphere is thick out there and we need a storm to break it up. Even if it means waking up to crashing thunder and sharp flashes of lightning, it'll be worth it if we can have a cooler day of it tomorrow.

I think the puppies sense the storm. They are, as they have been on previous stormy nights, quite restless. I took them for a walk tonight and though Sookie didn't lie down in protest as she quite often does, they walked quickly as though trying to get home as quickly as possible.

Of course, they didn't take into account that we'd meet Larry, my very friendly neighbour who lives on the second-to-last corner we turn on our nightly walk.

Larry is a sweet man. He calls my girls "fellas" even though I've told him they're girls. He loves to garden and knows I do too. Thus, when we pass by and he's outside as he so often is, he has to tell me his latest garden developments.

He's very nice. He really seems to love seeing the puppies. He's just...a little too friendly, if you know what I mean. When he talks to us, he invades my space and I find myself taking a step back to fight for some personal space. Tonight, he insisted on showing me his back garden and showing me his plantings. It's a nice garden and he's got a lot of good stuff growing.

It just took a long while to make our excuses to get out of there. Also, he uses human hair as a bedding nutrient.

Yes, you read that right. Larry uses human hair to fertilize his plants. Larry is probably ten years older than me and he lives alone. If I had an overactive imagination, I might be a little worried about Larry and his human hair fertilizer. I might think he had some serial killer tendencies.

Ok, fine, I do have an overactive imagination. You know I'm now a little curious and a little worried about Larry. I mean, hello, he uses human hair to feed his plants.

I know. It's not that weird. After all, it's a good fertilizer, I know this. I know you can go to the barber and ask them for clippings and they'll give them to you. But most people don't's a little creepy. I mean, after all, decomposing bodies also make good fertilizer but you don't hear of people going to morgues and asking for unclaimed bodies to make their garden grow nicely, do you?

Fine, that's a disturbingly dark exaggeration. I still won't lie and say it doesn't make my skin crawl just a little that around every tree and newly planted shrub, Larry has a neatly lain circle of human hair.

Personally, I prefer mulch or, you know, plant food or, perhaps, compost which takes a little more work and smells a lot but somehow manages to be more appealing than human hair.

Needless to say, once I saw the hair-circles, I tried to excuse ourselves from Larry's company. He's nice but he's the sort of nice that won't stop talking and doesn't like to see you leave. He made comments about getting one of 'them cute l'il dog pens so the l'il fella's could have their play while you and me sit on the deck'. Translation: He wants to find a way to pen my puppies so we can sit on his back deck and look at his flowers.

Now, while I find Larry to be an exceedingly friendly and kind neighbour, I'm not sure I like the idea of him getting a little pen for my dogs. After all, we can see the Dog Whisperer's garden from Larry's so it's not like they really need to be penned. Also, well, frankly, Larry and his need to get up close and personal while he talks to me, combined with the fact that he uses human hair and appears to be very lonely does send up some red flags, I have to confess.

So, even though Sookie, Rory and I will continue to take our walks, even on muggy nights, I think we'll be a little more wary of Larry and not let him invite us back to his gated back garden to see his hostas. He's very nice and I know he means well but...we're just being cautious, that's all.

Of course, the puppies did happen to conveniently find a 'chicken' bone outside his house the other night. I pulled them away quickly. If I had an overactive imagination, I might debate about whether it truly belonged to a chicken or not.

Overactive Imagination? Please turn off now.

Happy Friday and have a good weekend!

1 comment:

Rain Dancer said...

Oh, Captain better be careful. Larry sounds a bit TOO friendly...not s serial killer perhaps, but...well, you just never know.