Friday Rant: Serving Sizes Suck!

So, in the spirit of Friday, I've decided not to blog about snow. Yes, I know you're shocked but it'll pass, I'm sure.

Instead, I'm going to just do a teensy-tiny bit of ranting. I think I shouldn't listen to media in the morning. I've stopped listening to the awful "Two Angry Guys" from Cincinnati because, frankly, all they do is shout over the top of one another and talk about stupid things. Now, normally, stupid topics don't bother me when they're discussed well. But when it comes down to two men shouting to see who can talk the loudest, I have no patience. Instead, I've been turning on the TV and listening to the news. This is fine. It's the commercials that bother me.

For example, this morning, it was a Progresso soup commercial. Perhaps you've seen/heard it. There are several women talking about their diet's- one's on the Manhattan Clam Chowder Diet, another a Chicken Noodle Diet, etc. Naturally, it means they're eating Progresso soup because there's only 100 calories per serving.

The thing they don't mention is that in one of those Progresso soup cans, according to the nutritional label, there are 2.5 servings per can. Which means in order to stick to the 100 calorie promise, you'd only be eating less than half a can. That's not much soup. If you live alone, like me, chances are that can of soup will be your entire meal. Yes, on the scale of things, it's still pretty healthy but, of course, just reading the label alone and realizing you're eating enough soup to feed three dieters makes you feel a bit like a giant hippo.

Then there are those little cups that you put water in and microwave. Confession time, I love Stovetop stuffing. I don't like it as much when it's been stuffed into a chicken nor do I like it as much when it's been roasted into stuffing balls. I like it freshly made from the saucepan. So, imagine my delight when i saw that you can get little cups of instant Stovetop. Ok, so they don't have the sage flavour I like best but the Chicken isn't too bad. It's put in a little cup that clearly looks like a Serving for One.

Yes, then I read the back. There are at least two servings per cup. Which means you have to double the nutrition facts. Ok, I get that if you're on a strict diet, Stovetop Stuffing probably isn't really much of an option. Yet if you're trying to just be mostly healthy like me, it is. What am I supposed to do, give someone else a spoon and say "Hey, wanna share my Stovetop Cup?" NO! First of all, NO ONE eats my Stovetop and secondly, that would be kind of silly.

Same goes for crackers. Usually a serving is anywhere from 10 to 16 pieces. When you're hungry, that's not many crackers. Besides, counting them out to put in a baggie is tedious.

Yes, I know. The serving size is just a guide. If you eat more, you can double it. Yet then you feel like a hippo again.

I think my problem is that I should just stop looking at nutrition facts. I mean, who really can just eat one slice of pizza? Usually, without an appetizer, the average portion is 2.5 to three pieces of pizza. Then, when you go to view the nutrition facts, you realize "Crap! I just ate over 1,000 calories".

I know, I know. If I was really on a diet, I wouldn't be eating pizza. I know that. Yet on a normal day, i tend to eat at least 5 to 7 servings of fruit and veggies, often as a main course. So, once in a while, I splurge. The problem comes when I report what I've eaten. I have this neato site that keeps track of my nutrition and exercise. It's great, except it grades you. I've been averaging about a B to B+ for the last two weeks. Then I ate pizza. Bad idea.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that while serving sizes are supposed to moderate you, they don't because a normal person who isn't constantly trying to be a size zero needs more food than that. If I stick to the serving size, I feel good for a little while. Then I'm suddenly hungry again and I'll eat whatever I can find which is usually something not good for me. I mean, honestly, when you've got the munchies and can choose between salt and vinegar crisps, a bar of Cadbury's chocolate or an apple, who's really going to choose the apple? Small serving sizes lead to big cheats. They lead to sudden and inexplicable needs for McDonald's french fries or a big old slice of gooey cheese pizza.

So while those Progresso soup commercials aren't lying per se, they're not telling you the truth. They're not telling you that when you've measured out the one serving and realize that it's a little bowlful, you're going to look at the can and think, "will I really eat this again tomorrow and the next day?" and then dump the rest of it into the saucepan to heat.

Ok, so there's some self-control involved with being on a diet. This might explain why I define my own diet: Lots of healthy fruits and veggies, flavoured with something slightly naughty (like cheese) and balanced with some George Forman cooked stuff. I also sort-of exercise but you'll never see me being one of those die-hard joggers who runs in place until they can cross the street.

And I also do eat junk food because otherwise, when I decide to cheat, I'll really cheat and spreading it out over time, in my book, is better.

Or at least that's what I tell myself.

Happy Friday!

Friday, Food and Random Thoughts....

So, it's Friday and it's raining. I love that. I got to lie in bed this morning and listen to the rain. Granted, when I first woke up and hear it, it actually didn't sound like rain against my window; it sounded like someone was in my flat. As you can imagine, I was a little alarmed. I thought about reaching for my hammer. I keep a hammer by my bed as a weapon. It's probably not effective as a gun or even a baseball bat but it makes me feel better to have it so close by. The only slight problem with that is that I can't actually hit a nail when it's 6 inches from my face without missing so there might be a slight flaw in my self-defense mechanism.

However, that digression aside, it's Friday. I like Fridays. My favourite time is Friday evenings; they're my favourite day of the weekend because the entire weekend is in front of me and it's two whole days before I have to go back to work. I'm usually a bit of a lump on Friday nights. I watch a movie or TV, read and enjoy the fact that there's no work the next day. Sometimes I do go out but, mostly, I try not to do things on Friday nights except for a happy hour or something.

When I was younger, Friday nights were our family "Eating Out" night. The six of us would cram in my dad's car and go eat out. I used to love wondering where we'd eat. We had just moved from the UK and eating out was a novelty that we didn't have in England- it was WAY more expensive to have McDonalds or pizza there and, actually, was harder to come by. Nowadays, there is as much fast food there as here but back then, you actually had to hunt to find a McDonalds, if you can imagine. And I'm not even that old. So, when we moved to the U.S. and we got to eat out, it was a very awesome thing. I hadn't yet developed my affinity for more exotic foods like Mexican, Chinese, sushi or Italian (and when you had the palette that I did as a teen, Italian was exotic. Let's just say I was a picky eater). Most of the time, we ended up at Pizza Hut. My dad liked it. We'd order a big pizza, usually with pepperoni, maybe breadsticks and salad bar.

Then again, now that I'm thinking about it, when I do eat out with my parents, we still go to Pizza Hut the majority of the time and we order pepperoni pizza. Hmmm....my dad is definitely a creature of habit...

It's funny how things change when you get older. Back in high school, I loved eating out. Now, I consider it a treat to get to eat my mum's cooking. She's a fantastic cook. Her roast beef, Yorkshire pudding and roast potatoes is the best. Ever. My dad cooks too but he watches the Food Network a bit too much and has a tendency to think he's Maria Batali or Emeril. This is quite nice when he makes something from scratch but often, he likes to open a bag of pre-made something and fry it up. Then he watches you eat , eagerly waiting for feedback. It's hard to give good feedback on a bag of frozen Jimmy Dean breakfast skillet mix that is a bit revolting to begin with. Not to say that he can't cook because he can. He bakes the best bread. I'm hoping his affinity for breadmaking comes back around because that was my favourite of his cooking phases. But, when he does cook from scratch, it is usually delicious. So, in all my teasing, I have to say, I love eating at my parents'. Between my mum and dad, I always get fed nicely before I head home.

So, back to my original topic: my love of Friday evenings goes back many years. Which is why I'm happy it's a Friday evening tonight. It hasn't been a fantastic week. It hasn't been bad per se but it's been long and a little stressful. I'm still the New Monkeypants in town since I've only been in my new place/job for a few weeks. It can get a little lonely but I am lucky enough to have a good family and friends who are there for me. So, I'm hoping that it keeps raining for when I head home tonight. Then I can sit on my new sofa (which I love), turn on my fake-fireplace-heater thing (which I love) and watch a movie or two or read. I'm reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows at the moment. It's the second time. Harry Potter is my security blanket; the movies and books are the best escape when life becomes too much of a reality. I'm enjoying the book. It's everything that Breaking Dawn isn't. J.K. Rowling lives in a world in which bad things happen, a world in which there is consequences for our actions. Her werewolves kill and maim and when a normal, good human becomes a werewolf, he hates the brutality within; he doesn't fall in love with a baby and live happily ever. I'd rather have the reality, thank you. Fairy tales are nice but even the Grimm brothers didn't always believe in a happy ending.

Uh, so...about that digression thing I do...If you can't tell, I didn't really have a topic for this blog. So it's random musing. Which is why the title is "Random Musings from Captain Monkeypants". And it's Friday. And my iPod has just reminded me that I have something way more embarrassing than Kelly Clarkson on it. I have the Jonas Brothers. And yes, they are the teen band du Jour, gracing the cover of Teen Beat as we speak. In my defense, it's a cover of "Yo Ho, Yo Ho, It's a Pirate's Life for Me" which I downloaded for a pirate-themed party and liked before I realized it was the Jonas Brothers. I forgot I had it. My iPod clearly didn't.

So, on this rainy Friday, I shall settle in to begin working, my cup of vile office coffee in my hand because I didn't get chance to make tea, my iPod selecting whatever it wants and be happy that in a few short hours, I can go home and relax. Because the other nice thing about Fridays it that they're the end of the week which means Monday will be a whole new week full of promise and hope.

I hope I see it that way on Monday.

Have a great weekend.