Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Discipline Issue and Publishing Doubts...

It's over halfway through the week and I don't know about you but I'm exhausted!

It hasn't been a bad week though. Work is slower than it has been for the past couple of weeks but I'm still finding ways to keep myself occupied. The only danger in being less busy is that you notice things that usually prickle in your mind as annoyances during a busy day but, in a more relaxed day, really start to bother you.

Still, what is work when things in life are going so interestingly? While I'm experiencing a slight case of puppy frustration- one of my little girls will NOT listen to me, even when I raise my voice (as the reading materials suggest). Even though I take them out regularly, they still like to 'have accidents' inside. I bought them puppy pads, just so they had somewhere to go that was easy to clean. They've decided they're chew toys instead. Never mind that they have a ton of chew toys scattered around the dog-proofed area. Anything they can sink their teeth into is fair game.

I know, I know, they're puppies. That's part of their charm. It's just hard. Sookie is very willful and stubborn. One of my coworkers was generous enough to give me a 'puppy shower' gift- a magazine all about Dachshunds. There are tips in there for everything including housebreaking. It says that Dachshunds, by nature, are willful and stubborn. I'm seeing that first hand. Yet the problem is I'm trying everything they're suggesting and still Sookie ignores me. Rory is more manageable. She's a sweet soul with a mischievious streak but she does listen and she does know when she's done wrong. Sookie, on the other hand, glares at me when I firmly tell her 'No' and slinks off. I love them both, equally but I'm not sure how to handle the differences in personality. While I'm glad I have them both for the sake of them being able to keep each other company, I also worry that they won't need me so much. That I'm just a third party to their little puppy world.

I think part of it is that they're both a little afraid to go outside, thanks to the beasts that live next door(s). This morning, I was trying to encourage them to relieve themselves so I could go to work and just as I feared, my neighbour let his three noisy dogs out into their yard. Pandemonium ensued. In the darkness of Daylight Savings Time, my girls were terrified. They didn't relieve themselves because they were too worried by the barking. I was angry. While I know my neighbours have every right to let their dogs out, it would be nice if they would be slightly more thoughtful and at least look to see if we're out there. I only put my back yard, outside light on when we're out there. It wouldn't take much to be thoughtful.

But I've lived here since August. Thoughtfulness is not in their reportoire. Before I got the puppies, I'd be out in my yard, working. I could hear the neighbour's dogs bark at me from inside. Clearly, the neighbours got fed up of the barking and so they let them outside. Never mind that I was enjoying my peace. Never mind that they don't control the annoying creatures. They just didn't want to hear the barking.

I think my only solution is to build a privacy fence. I've done the estimates and if I get the materials myself and build it, I can afford it. It should be my responsibility but, in truth, I do want the privacy and so I think it's our only option. I don't expect it to eliminate the problem entirely but at least I'll be able to set foot in my own garden without being besieged by a platoon of yapping dogs.

Puppy/dog woes aside, this is a big week for me. My book is published. It's for sale. I'm now in that stage where I'm wondering if it was the right thing to do. I published because I had a ton of people say they'd buy my book, mostly on Facebook. So far....there's not much follow-through. I know, again, it's a question of the impatience of Captain Monkeypants. I want instant results. People don't give instant results. They'll buy it if and when they're ready. If they don't, well, I gave it a shot. I'm going to try self-promotion next. I have some ideas. I have some support in good friends who either have already bought my book or have pledged to buy it. Other than that, I'm in a scary stage where I've put myself out there. Readers will either like it or politely abstain from giving feedback.
In my heart, I know it's a good read. I won't say it's a good 'book' because, let's face it, I don't intend to win a Pulitzer with it. But I think if people gave it a shot, they might like it. The worst part now is that I'm reliant on those sales, on that feedback. And, as a self-professed control-freak, I'm not sure I like having that reliance.

The thing is, I do now have that reliance and I have to accept it, even if I don't like it. It's part of the writing process, for better or for worse.

And, if it gets to me, I still have two puppies that keep me entertained. For example, I have one of those small animatronic "Fur Real" pets that's a pig. If you press its back, it grunts and snorts and wiggles. The puppies are fascinated and...slightly worried. If an animatronic pig can get their attention, there's hope for me yet.

Happy Thursday!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

In Search of Writing Inspiration and Discipline...

I can't complain about gloomy weather as the sun is shining and it looks like it's going to be a beautiful day. My drive was sunlit and green as I drove through the hills and I think at least for a day, we have a break from the threat of rain.

I'm glad it's Thursday. The weekend is getting close and I can feel the impatience in me growing as I subconsciously count down the days.

Last night, I thought I was going to sit down and write for what would be the first time in many months. It didn't happen, unfortunately. I seem to be experiencing quite a bit of self-doubt. Every idea I come up with seems to be silly or unoriginal. Every time I try to put the words to paper, I hear this faint whisper in my mind saying, "Why bother, it'll probably just be bad anyway?"

I'm trying to banish that whisper in my mind and push on. I'm also trying to ignore that fact that I keep reading that there are no original ideas in the world anymore. Looking at the bookstores lately, that actually seems to be true. Vampires have taken over the literary world and no one seems to mind.

I don't really mind; I like vampires. Trouble is, if I give in to the trend, by the time I've written a vampire novel which couldn't possibly be very original since there's not much original to say about vampires other than the fact that they can't go out in the sun because they sparkle. Which is pretty original, if a little too cuddly for my darker tastes. Also, by the time I'd written one, the trend would be over and the literary world will have moved on.

So, I sit at my computer in the evenings wondering if I really have the right to call myself a writer if I'm not writing. I have written. I just haven't done much lately.

Still, I'm going to try to keep writing. A wise friend of mine suggested I just write crap. Maybe something will come of the crap and maybe it won't. Even if it doesn't, at least I'll be writing.

I like that idea. The problem I'm having now is that I'm having to refresh myself on how to be a writer. It takes a little discipline which I used to have quite a lot of. These days, I'm having to re-fight the urge to procrastinate. That Direct TV is just so...tempting. The stupid DVR records the shows I consider mindless fluff and yet it's fluff that just seems so comfortable. It's so tempting to get home from work, walk out in the garden to see if my tomatoes are finally ripening (they are!), look for the bunny and then go inside to kick off my shoes for the day, sit back with the remote control and...veg.

For a while, it was ok. I'd just moved. I'd just been to Comic-Con. I needed to relax. I think that's now just a convenient excuse. I've had my relaxation, now it's time to remind myself that when I do write, it's one of the best feelings in the world. It's my reason for getting up, going to work and dealing with the politics of my office. It's the reason that when things at work make me a little crazy, I can go home and remind myself that it's just a job, writing is my craft. At the moment, without having a project to work on, it's hard to remember that.

I'm going to though. I need to drown out those horrible negative voices in my head. Who cares if what I write is rubbish? It's the writing I like, the process of making up stuff, of weaving words together in ways I've never done before. It's the feeling that I've made something new, something that seems original.

In the meantime, I might have to hide my Direct-TV remote. There's just too many episodes of Throwdown with Bobby Flay, Cash in the Attic, Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares and Iron Chef to watch. I'm starting to think I might have to write about food since that seems to be the thing I've been watching most. Then I could call it...research!

Seriously though, I do need to find my discipline again. Since I'm going to my parent's this weekend, I think I'll have one of the conversations I treasure with my mother. She's great at helping me figure stuff out and she's good for my fragile ego. Usually, I leave with some good ideas. Hopefully that'll happen this weekend.

And, if not, there's always vampires. I'm thinking a vampire food critic. That might actually be original. Especially if he can only drink blood and he's obsessed with food anyway.

I need to stop watching the Food Network. This is why I never let myself have cable TV before. It's running my life. Help!

Happy Thursday.

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