Puppy Love on Valentine's Day

Today is Valentine’s Day. That’s pretty much the extent of my acknowledgment. It’s a day where there are lots of pink hearts, red roses and love in the air.

My two valentines are furry, black and have four legs. They can’t send a card nor send me flowers but in their own puppy way, they can tell me they love me. It can be as simple as the lifting of the blankets in the night and feeling the little warm body curl up next to mine so that when I wake up, there’s a puppy nose only inches from mine. It’s in the wagging tails and excited greetings I get when I get home at night. It’s sitting on the sofa on a cold winter night and having two dogs sleeping splayed on their backs, feet in the air and letting me know they trust me absolutely.

I’ve never been much of a Valentines girl. We never really did the card exchange in school in England the way that kids here in the States do it. We occasionally used to make heart cards for our mums and dads but that was it. When I got older, it was always whispering and giggling to see if anyone would get a Valentines card. There were maybe a couple of girls who did but that was about it.

In high school when I moved to the states, it was all about carnations. For $1, you could choose a white carnation (meaning friendship), a pink carnation (indicating someone liked you) or a red one to say that someone loved you. I got white ones. I think I even got a pink one once. That was exciting. Granted it was from my boyfriend at the time but it was still quite nice to get a carnation even if I didn’t like the boy much. College was nice because I did have a boyfriend for a couple of Valentines’ Days. He was generous and always got me roses or a CD or something he knew I’d like. But…that was it. I think I went through the embittered period of resenting the holiday because I didn’t have anyone to share it with. It was a Hallmark holiday, designed for people to spend money.

I don’t think like that anymore. I’m not sure when it happened. I think even last year, I was wistful and a little sad that, yet again, I didn’t have a real Valentine.

This year…I don’t really mind at all. It’s a nice holiday for those that celebrate it romantically. It’s also a nice holiday to just celebrate love in general. Granted, we shouldn’t need a holiday for that but, well, we have one. It’s just like when people say we shouldn’t have to wait until Christmas to give gifts. I agree with that which is why I, personally, accept gifts year-round. However, I also think it’s rather nice to have a day that’s slightly different from every other day, a day which is dedicated to something.

It’s like birthdays, really. Why choose to celebrate the day as a particular anniversary, to say, “I have been on this earth X years!?. Sure, that’s nice but we can do that every day, right? I mean, today, I can say, “Today, I have been on this planet for 36 years, 1 month and 4 days!” Of course, they don’t make cards for that. It’d take up a lot more room that “Happy 30th birthday!” wouldn’t it?

So, regardless of whether you think we need a holiday to celebrate love, we have one. It’s called Valentine’s Day. I know there’s that whole “Sweetest Day” thingy too but that one is completely made up by Hallmark and doesn’t really exist. It’s not even on the calendar. Most people don’t really know when that day is. I’m sure almost everyone knows that today is Valentine’s Day.

I’m not planning on doing much to commemorate the day. I’ll probably give the puppies a cuddle but I’d do that anyway. They don’t know the difference between today and any other day so, to them, it’s just business as usual. This means foraging in the garden for treasures, sniffing for bunnies and digging the odd hole in the ground which is finally starting to thaw. It also means squabbling about who gets to sit on my lap (if it’s Rory, this means Sookie will sit away from us, staring balefully at me as though I’ve wronged her. Whereas if Sookie gets to sit on my lap, Rory grabs a toy, starts grumbling at it and nipping it.)

But I can’t complain. It’s nice to be squabbled over, even if it is by my four legged friends. It makes me feel very loved and when you feel that way, who needs a card or flowers to prove it?

Happy Valentine’s Day! (And Happy Tuesday too!)

The Penalty of Snow....

It's Friday tomorrow. Not only is it Friday but it's the Friday before a long weekend. Three pure, unobliterated days of not having to work. I can live with that.

My weekend is already shaping up way differently than I'd planned. As I mentioned earlier in the week, my best friend Saz was supposed to come in to visit from Washington D.C. Unfortunately, nature intervened and made travel slightly difficult. I suppose two feet of snow will do that for you, as people in Washington D.C. are experiencing.

I'm sad that Ms. Saz will not be coming to visit quite yet. She has, however, rebooked for Memorial Day weekend and I find it highly unlikely that a blizzard or several inches of snow will be impeding that visit. If so, I think we'd be having much more serious problems than just the weather.

It doesn't make me like snow any less...it just means that it misbehaved, that's all. When I did the snow dance two weeks ago, I certainly didn't think it would have this affect. Thus, I claim no responsibility. I suppose it's the penalty of winter.

So, now, I have an unplanned weekend. I'm sure I'll find ways to fill it: I usually do. I have a sequel to write and a novel to format so I can publish it on the Kindle and the Nook. I have food to cook, books to read, movies to watch. I'll just miss seeing Saz for a couple more months.

In addition, it's Valentines Day. As we singleton's like to call it "Single Awareness Day." While I respect Valentines Day and honour the fact that it's a good day to avoid going out to restaurants lest we singletons choke on the bitterness of having to buy our own chocolate and flowers, I'm not a fan. I liked it best when we were young children and everyone got to put anonymous Valentine's cards in a communal box for delivery in school. I usually got one or two. I always tried to ignore the girls with their desks piled high with cards but it was hard to ignore that. My cards were from friends. I always longed for an anonymous admirer but, alas, it never came.

It didn't make me bitter, just as I'm not bitter now. I admit, I do get a little bitter when it's December 26th and Christmas, my favourite holiday, has already surrendered its greens, reds, golds and silvers to the overwhelmingly garish glow of reds and pinks as the Valentine's aisles take over the store but that's only because I think Christmas should last longer.

No, when it comes to Valentine's Day, I'm of the opinion that it's a perfectly nice made-up holiday. It's a Hallmark holiday. It means something to those people who are in love but those of us who keep hoping merely look on it as a reminder that we've either made terrible choices or we just haven't been lucky. But it doesn't have to be that way, does it? Does Valentines have to be a day about romantic love or can it just be about celebrating any kind of love?

I think, If I had kids, I'd send them cards. If I was going home, I'd probably give my nephews and nieces and even parents one of my Harry Potter Valentine's cards that I bought. They're the kids kind of Valentines that come 18 to a box and say things like, "Thanks for being a great friend- Happy Valentine's Day." I like that idea of Valentines'. The pressure is off, it's celebrating love but not the ooey-gooey kind that only really and truly happens on the big screens and TV screens in front of us; in reality it's messy, painful, insane and realistic and, from what I know from my friends who are lucky enough to have found it, worth every minute.

This year, Saz and I had planned on having sharing Valentine's Day as singles. We've done it before. We go to a movie, drink wine and talk about the positives of still being single. Since we won't be able to do that, I think I'll honour the day by not being bitter but, instead, respecting those around me who celebrate the day and enjoying the fact that it's a day upon which I don't have to buy anyone a gift. Also, it's a day to appreciate those I love, whether romantic or otherwise. I am lucky enough to have quite a few of those. So even though it won't quite be the weekend I planned, it won't be wasted. It'll make me think about how lucky I am to have people I love in my life, even if it isn't the red roses, heart-shaped chocolate boxes or even heart-stamped boxer short kind of love that retailers seem to think is necessary to celebrate Valentine's Day.

Also, I'll celebrate February 15th just as happily. It may not have an official name but, to me, it's always going to be "50% off all that chocolate you couldn't be bothered to buy for your true love" day.

Now that's another day worth celebrating. And since I love chocolate and Valentines is about love, it fits when you think about it.

Happy Friday! Have a great weekend! (And happy Valentine's Day to all!)

Happy Valentine's Day....

It's been another long week. Yet, being Friday, it's almost over and the weekend, once more, lays before us, untouched in its promise of two days of freedom.

It's also Valentine's Day tomorrow. This means that day will be filled with men scurrying to buy flowers, cards, chocolates and jewelry and the evening will be filled with dates, romantic evenings in which couples celebrate their relationship.

I'd like to say I'm one of those people who sneers at the day and wonders what the point of having one day to declare your love when, technically, you should be doing it year round. And, in a way, I am one of those people. Yet, as always seems to be the case, I don't see it in black and white and so I do understand why February the 14th is special for people.

I have to confess, I think I've had maybe two Valentine's Day's in my life where I've been in a relationship. They were during college and both years, it was the same relationship. Those were good days, days in which I felt spoiled and lucky and appreciated having a boyfriend. Since then, my timing has sucked. I've never actually been in a relationship on Valentine's Day. Seriously. I've either just stopped seeing someone or...there never was a someone.

You'd think this would make me angry and bitter. It used to. In high school, where Valentine's Day seems a much bigger event than in reality, there were always the girls with bouquets. Our school used to sell carnations for a dollar, red for love, pink for 'like' and white for friendship. I think I got a pink one once which was nice. Otherwise, I got white ones from friends. There were always the girls who had an actual bunch of red carnations at the end of the day. I was never one of them. Truth be told, it was never about the flowers. I always wanted the more...Victorian...valentine. I wanted that unsigned card in my locker that gave my life an air of mystery. I wanted to find out I had a secret admirer.

I never did get my card. The pink flower was the closest I came. That was exciting at the time because it was almost the same thing. I had a suspicion I knew who sent it and it turned out to be right. It was someone I'd been in drama with and I ended up dating him for a while. As awful as it sounds, I never really liked him. I did like the fact that he had his own car and he introduced me to such glamourous places as The Olive Garden and Chi Chi's Mexican restaurant. Hey, in high school, those places are glamourous.

Yet to this day, I've never had my mysterious unsigned Valentine's card from an admirer. I've had cards from my dog and my parents yet never from an admirer.

However, these days, I don't look on Valentine's day as a disappointment, a constant reminder that, yet again, I'm single on this day. Instead, I look at the other 'loves' I have in my life. I have great friends and a good family. Normally, I try to be on the ball and send friendship Valentine's cards. If I'd have thought about it, I would have sent some to my nephew's and nieces. Yet, this year, the day slipped up on me and I haven't had a chance to send them. That makes me feel bad but it doesn't mean that tomorrow, I won't be thinking of them all and appreciating them.

I also intend to make the day special for me, to remind myself of all the reasons that I do enjoy being single. I love to go to the movies alone because it's relaxing. I will make something nice for dinner and I will take a nice bath, probably with candles. Just because I don't have anyone to send me flowers, it doesn't mean I should look on a day that is all about love with disdain. I had intended to drive to my parent's this weekend and spend the day with my family but due to, um, a slight problem with expired license plates, I'm a bit afraid of being pulled over. So I'll stay local and try to dodge the police. I've already had one incident with them since I've moved, I don't need another. Next week, I should be able to get new plates because FINALLY the lienholder on my car sent the title to the state of Ohio. I've only been trying to get it for over a month.

But, I digress. Again. Thus, I shall be spending my Valentine's Day alone. I'm actually ok with that. If I can't be with someone I love, being alone is good because Valentine's Day is a good reminder to try to love oneself too even if that self is feeling a little fragile due to potentially losing her job, constantly being rejected by men, agents and publishers and feeling like she's a bit crap at the job she DOES have. Yes, I'm a pathetic creature but for once, I'm not going to mope about it. I'm going to revel in the flowers and the hearts and all of the other Hallmark symbols of Valentines' Day. And to all the other singletons reading this blog, I salute you and remind you that love doesn't have to be romantic, it can just be....love.

Happy Valentine's Day.