Random Rants: Extreme Air Conditioning

There are some things about summer I will never understand. At the top of my list would be air conditioning.

I’m not saying that I don’t believe in air conditioning. I definitely do. In fact, if you read back in my blog to almost exactly a year ago, my air conditioning died during a very hot period. My whining and moaning definitely indicates that air conditioning is pretty much a necessity when it’s 95 degrees outside and the humidity is high.

No, what I am saying is that I don’t understand Extreme Air Conditioning.

I’m sure you know what I mean. Extreme air conditioning is when you’re coming in from the sultry outdoors and within seconds, you already have goosepimples.

Extreme air conditioning is when you’re sitting in your office and your fingers are numb from typing. Then, when it’s finally time to leave, your hot, greenhouse effected car feels wonderful as you slowly begin to thaw.

I don’t understand it. As I said above, I’m a firm believer in air conditioning. I like to be comfortable. Who doesn’t?

However, Extreme Air Conditioning is not pleasant. I don’t think it’s necessary. Yet, it’s everywhere. If you go to the mall, the cold air feels great at first. Then, once your body has cooled down comfortably, the freezing cold air continues to cool your body down until you’re suddenly regretting not remembering to wear your thermal underwear in the middle of summer.

You should not be longing for a scarf and jacket when you’re already wearing a light sweater. I find this usually occurs in movie theatres. Having been frozen like an icicle several times while watching movies in the theatre, I’ve learned my lesson and, as a rule, I try to take a cardigan or light jacket with me to avoid completely freezing. However, when you find yourself STILL shivering with the sweater or jacket on when it’s almost 100 degrees outside, there’s something not quite right there.

My theory has lately been that malls and movie theatres crank up the air conditioning to cater for the crowds of people that they expect. Crowds of people generally make a place hot and stuff. Thus, to account for this potential, they crank up the AC and thus you have Extreme Air Conditioning.

The thing is that I still find myself shivering in Extreme Air Conditioning even when there are crowds around. Granted, there will always be those pockets in the mall where it gets hot. I find this most often in those malls with skylights that let the sun stream in. These places get hot. However, the rest of the mall still resembles being on the inside of a refrigerator. I’ve wondered if they have it automatically set to a certain temperature and it kicks on much more quickly because of these skylit hotspots. Yet, since these hot spots remain hot and the rest of the mall feels like you’re about to go visit Santa at the North Pole, this theory doesn’t really hold water.
I’ve been experiencing Extreme Air Conditioning at work this week. I’ve mentioned our thermostat wars before. Well, lately, since it’s been hot outside, the thermostat has been cranked to allow for Extreme Air Conditioning. Since I quite like feeling my fingers when I type, sometimes I try to turn the air conditioning down just a little. This will inevitably lead to my next door neighbour/account manager suddenly yelling “HOT!” at the top of her lungs.

She does this a lot. Very occasionally, she shouts “COLD!” but more often it’s “HOT!” She also gets “HUNGRY” and “TIRED”. I’m not sure why she has to yell so we all know but, well, that’s her way.

Interestingly, she’s usually the only “HOT!” person. Yet, somehow, she usually wins. All I have to do is go to the bathroom and when I get back to my office, the air is suspiciously growing colder by the second.

I suppose Extreme Air Conditioning really is relative to a person’s normal body temperature. I’d say that perhaps I tend to just run colder than everyone else which is why I sit in my office shivering but the truth is I’m not the only one. I’ve been told to wear a sweater but, well, it’s summer. I shouldn’t have to wear a sweater to be comfortable in my office.

No, the truth of the matter is that I personally believe that air conditioning is intended to make the room comfortable. Honestly, I think it should just cool the room to a comfortable liveable temperature. Generally speaking, when it’s 75-78 degrees outside and it’s not humid, we consider that to be a perfect temperature. So, why is it indoors where there’s nowhere for the cold air to go but sit between the four walls that Extreme Air Conditioning Enthusiasts decide that 64 degrees is an acceptable indoor temperature?

No. It is not an acceptable temperature. An acceptable INDOOR temperature is when you can wear traditional seasonal attire without being uncomfortable. This goes for winter as well. There is also the case of Extreme Heating in winter. To summarize Extreme Heating basically that boils down to you needing to shed almost every layer of clothing you’re wearing because you’re sweating indoors while it’s below zero outside.

Thus, in summer, I wear t-shirts, short sleeve blouses and capris with open-toed shoes. While I’m inside, my feet should not feel like blocks of ice. My arms should not be covered with little goosebumps and my fingers should not be numb. Just as in winter, if I’m wearing sweaters and boots, I should not be wanting to peel off everything because the heat is cranked high. Now, if I’m wearing the capris in the winter and I’m cold, that’s my own fault because, well, it’s winter. Likewise, if I’m wearing a thick sweater in summer, it’s my own fault because I’m too hot. At no time should I feel I have the right to make everyone else freeze to death because I made a poor wardrobe choice.

Thus, I go back to my original statement: I do not understand Extreme Air Conditioning. It’s rather silly to wish you’d brought a pair of socks to work because your feet are cold. Also, it’s distracting because I find when directly affected by Extreme Air Conditioning, I spend much more time focusing on the fact that my nose is running, my toes are numb and I can barely feel my fingers than I do working.

I’d like to advocate that thermostats not be made to go below 68 degrees and above 79 degrees, please.

Ok. Rant over. Thanks for reading. Here’s hoping you’re not freezing while you’re doing so.

Happy Thursday!

Complicated Hat Situations...

It was a very cold day today. By cold, I mean it's the type of cold in which the formerly beautiful, fluffy festive snow has been turned to brittle, hard ice. It started to melt yesterday so it lies on the ground in a mottled patchwork quilt of green and white.

It's the type of cold that you feel before you even get out of you warm nest of a bed in the morning and know that the minute your feet hit the ground, they're going to get cold.

When I let the puppies out this morning, they started to do their usual mad tear from the back door, all the way across the vegetable patch where they generally stop and inspect for squirrels and bunnies. They usually then proceed to the toolshed where they see if, by any miraculous chance, my blockades to stop them getting underneath the shed have somehow evaporated and they can now get underneath. Fortunately, this is not likely since I used cement blocks and bricks. They can move the bricks but the cement blocks aren't budging. This doesn't stop them from trying to dig but the most they can do is create a furrow that isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

This morning, however, they started their mad tear. Then you could see them stop, look about and stare at one another as if to say, "dude, it's COLD! What's up with that?"


They promptly did their business, looking horribly offended at the frozen snow-mottled ground as they did so and then came in. They did not, as they normally do, run in and out multiple times before I finally made them come in for good. This may have been because I usually leave the back door open a crack since the family room which holds the back door is not heated but today, that was not happening. When you can see your breath before you even expose your breath to the outdoors, you know it's cold out there.


The puppies are seemingly fans of snow but not of bitter cold. They actually jumped into their crate of their own free will after coming in this morning for the final time. This is normal for Sookie who knows when it's time but Rory is my little rebel and I usually have to show her the 'crate treat' she's going to get before she's actually in the crate.



Still, winter is upon us and we'll all get used to it. It's technically only been a couple of weeks since it became full-on coat weather. We were still having balmy enough days that it was feasible not to wear a coat in the mornings because it'd be warm enough by lunchtime that a coat was irrelevant.

Now it's not only coat weather, it's scarves, gloves and hat weather. I don't actually own a hat. I want to own one because I find them very practical and they warm the ears. However, I think I'm one of those unfortunate creatures that doesn't do well in hats. At least, I don't think I do. This is because everytime I try on a hat when I'm shopping with someone, they tell me to 'take it off, it looks silly.'

This makes it rather hard to know what type of hat to wear. No one wants to be told they look silly in a hat, after all. I've tried a beret style which ended up not so beret-like and more like a fabric flop on my head. I tried a simple wool hat on but my sister said I looked silly. I'd try one of those earflap hats which, while warming, really aren't my style. I don't think I can pull off an earflap hat.


I'm not sure what other type of winter hats there are, honestly. When I was a child, a simple bobblehat would suffice and no one thought twice about you wearing one. Nowadays, it's all about trying not to look like a doofus while simutaneously trying to keep your ears warm. I obviously shouldn't care that I look like a doofus but, alas, I do. I blame the catalogs. They show these beautiful women in classy hats and coats marching across parks and things. They make everything seem so glamourous. In actuality, if the weather were actually appropriate for the hats and coats that the models are wearing, the models would also probably have bright red noses, shiny eyes because the cold brought tears to them and far less neatness to the newness of the coats.


Of course, this might just be me. Try as I might to be catalog-model worthy in my winter wear, I never look that...neat and tidy. If it's snowing, my coat will be covered with melting flakes. If it's raining, my hair will be stringy around my face because I don't have a hat of any type, doofus-making or not. If it's cold, I don't have time to saunter across a park. Does anyone? Pretty much, when it's cold enough for the full winter wardrobe- hats, scarves, gloves and thick coat- there is no sauntering. There is only bustling around trying to get from warm point A to warm point B.



Still, cold or not, I love winter. I love winter coats, scarves and gloves. I'd love to like hats but, well, there's the doofus-factor. I'd use another word but there's just something amusingly juvenile about the word doofus. I heard it for the first time when we first moved to the U.S. from the U.K. but it's just a fun word to use.


Anyway, on cold days like this, a hat is sort of a necessity. Fortunately, aside from getting out my car to bustle to my building (no sauntering here!), I'm not exposed to the elements that much. It would, however, be nice to have a hat so I could do things like walk the dogs in a fashionable and trendy manner, ala the catalog models but, well, frankly, I'm guessing they don't walk their dogs when it's 23 degrees outside with a windchill of 15 degrees. Perhaps this means I shouldn't walk the dogs either. That would be the sensible thing.

Nevertheless, I'd still like a hat.

Provided it doesn't make me look like a doofus.


Happy Tuesday