Black Friday...Another Year of Chaos, Another Year of Bargains!

Well, Thanksgiving has been and gone already. I hate when that happens. One minute, it's Wednesday evening, I'm heading to my parents after having left work early and the next, it's Sunday evening, the turkey's all gone and it's back to normal tomorrow.

I did have a good Thanksgiving though. As always, it was a nice calm day where my mum and I worked together to get everything prepped and ready for the meal. Then people started showing up, the food started being ready and chaos ensued. It's always getting the food from stove to table that seems to be the hardest part of a large meal.

However, it all turned out fine in the end. It was a delicious meal, I got to see almost my entire family- my poor sister had to work- and find out some ideas of what gifts I wanted to shop for on Black Friday.

Black Friday, of course, is definitely part of my Thanksgiving traditions. This year, due the annoying schedule of the stores, my sister and I did things a little differently. We did make it to Walmart at 10 p.m. Well, actually, we got there around 10:40 p.m. since my sister had to work until 10:30 p.m. Amazingly enough, my sister got everything on her list- quite a surprise considering we weren't there for the mad rush of the beginning of the sale.

Though Walmart was much busier than normal and the aisle with the electronics that were to go on sale at midnight was already a scary, scary place with people waiting, the rest of the shopping experience wasn't too bad. The trick is to know where to look for items. Sure, Walmart puts the specials in the middle of the aisles and provides a map but they don't go to the actual shelves and remove those items. Thus, though the salespeople said they were out of the Leapfrog Tag system my sister wanted for my niece, we merely went to the shelf, found the same item sitting there, price checked it to make sure it rang up at the Black Friday price and moved on. It was a little too easy, actually. I didn't buy anything at all. The only thing I wanted was a wireless media player for my TV but since that was part of the midnight sale, I wasn't about to stick around.

Besides, we had to be up and at 'em early the next day. We were up and out by 5 a.m. Our first major sale started at 6 a.m. at Menards. We were part of a line that wrapped around the building. However, in previous years, due to Walmart's 4 a.m. sale, we've never quite made the opening of Menards and always got there late. This year, we actually got there as the doors opened AND we secured a basket. Never before, in the history of our Black Friday shopping have we secured a basket in which to put our stuff.

Unfortunately, the basket soon became full and also, my sister decided she wanted to purchase a rather nice spa box for my sister-in-law that appeared to be on sale for less than $10. It was about 24 inches by 24 inches and weight about 6 pounds. Due to the fact that my sister is pregnant and I'm a little overprotective, I gave her the lighter basket to carry and the spa set became my carrying vessel on which we piled stuff that wouldn't fit in the basket. We were almost 100% successful at Menards. I purchased two rather nice 1.5 quart crockpots for $2.97 each! Now THAT is a bargain for me. I'm not greedy enough I wanted both- I got one for my mum. I also got dog toys, slipper socks and various other useful items. While some of them were for gifts, I also find Black Friday to be an excellent way to get items that I actually need/want at bargain prices. I only buy things I don't ask for as gifts, by the way.

However, even with the triumph of finding everything on our lists giving us energy, by the time we got to the checkout, my forearms were rather tired from holding the spa box and all of its cargo around the store. Also, Menards was a madhouse- people WILL fight to the death for a $3 Snuggie. (I don't buy Snuggies, for the record). THey also fight for $1.49 fleece blankets. I did join the fray for one of those. The girls and I like to snuggle on cold winter nights and last year's bargain could easily be replaced.

By the time we were next in line to checkout, I had jelly arms. Finally, success! My sister and I seperated our buyings so that she could pay first. I was not unhappy to release the spa box. Unfortunately, when it rang up, it was $29.99, not the $7.50 it was labeled on the shelf. We did think it was an awfully good deal but it also was Black Friday. There turned out to be no rebate and suddenly, $29.99 did not seem like a deal so my sister asked the cashier to take it off her receipt. I didn't blame her but it would have been helpful to know that I hadn't had to carry that rather heavy item around the entire store for 30 minutes.

Ah well, we moved on to Target which had started its sale at 10 p.m. the night before. Surprisingly enough, with the exception of one board game, my sister also go everything on her list. We moved on. Since there was a different Walmart there, we stopped in so I could see if they had my wireless media player. Lo and behold, they did. In fact, aside from the $2.99 chopper and $9 griddle that eluded us last year also, Walmart also appeared to have almost everything from their ad except for the HDMI cable which I needed for the media player.

After Walmart, we went to the local mall and managed to get several gifts checked off our list. By this time, it was 10 a.m. and the insanity of the die-hard, early morning shoppiers had died down.

We ended our day with a tasty lunch and headed home. It was a very successful Black Friday. I even ended up getting my $10 HDMI cable- I wanted to look at Christmas trees so my parents and I headed back up to their local Walmart after I'd had a bit of a break. Lo and behold, they had lots of the $10 cables which the other Walmart did not have.

The moral of this Black Friday tale is that while it's sort of fun to join in the chaos of being one of the early morning shoppers, it's not always necessary to score a deal. Just like we weren't the first customers at Walmart the night before but still managed to get a Wii for $99 (my sister's purchase), we managed to get everything on our lists at almost every store without being there at the opening. Menards was the exception. That's the one store that has such good bargains that you do have to be there as early as possible. People tend to really go for the $2.97 crockpots, $1.99 unstuffed dog toys, 99 cent furry slipper socks, $1.49 fleece blankets and, of course, $3 Snuggies.

When all was said and done, my sister and I finished another Black Friday successfull. I am further ahead in my shopping than ever, have ideas for gifts and am well on my way to being ahead of the Christmas shopping game. While I love Thanksgiving with my family, eating yummy turkey and cooking the meal, I also love Black Friday. It's a tradition between my sister and I and I enjoy the lunacy of being up, awake and shopping at 5 a.m.

It ended up being a good weekend. However, like all good weekends, its followed by a return to work tomorrow. Since I like my job, I'm not dreading it. I do wish I had another day but, well, that would be greedy. Now it's time to relax with the pups, review my Christmas shopping, check out Cyber Monday deals and settle in for the night.

There could be far worse way to end a weekend!

Changing the Traditions of Black Friday

I’m a little annoyed about Black Friday this year.

Last year, after Black Friday, I wrote a blog complaining about how irritating it was that Walmart had two sales- one at midnight on Black Friday and one at 4 a.m. Due to the midnight sale, those of us who got up early to make the 4 a.m. sale were screwed out of most of the good bargains. I know it served both me and my sister right for being lazy for not wanting to stay up really late after a day of spending time with the family, helping cook a massive meal, wrangling dogs and entertaining children. Instead, we chose to sleep a little and then got up super early to go to the Walmart 4 a.m. sale and then go onto the other 5 a.m. sales.

So, imagine my irritation this year now that Black Friday has become Black Thanksgiving. Walmart is now starting their sale at 10 p.m. on Thanksgiving. Toys R’ Us are starting at 9 p.m. Never mind the fact that some people actually want to spend the day eating turkey and relaxing with family without having to plan on how they’re going to be able to make it to the store at 9 p.m. in order to try to compete for bargains.

I suppose the easiest thing for me to do would be to just shut up and not bother going to the sales if I really am that irritated at it.

It’s just that, well, I don’t like having to make that decision. Most of the stores are opening at midnight this year- Target and Macy’s come to mind. This means that shoppers can celebrate Thanksgiving and then, after probably drinking wine with their meal, heading out to wait in line for the stores to open. Alternatively, they can spend a portion of their day sleeping so they are refreshed in order to go out and about and shop.

Either way, it seems a little bit rude to the Thanksgiving holiday.

Ironically, I’m British. My family wasn’t raised with Thanksgiving. We only started celebrating it because we moved to the States and it was part of the culture. Now we celebrate because we have American ‘interlopers’ in the family who do celebrate.

Still, given that Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time for relaxing, reflecting, spending time with family and/or friends and, you know, BEING THANKFUL, isn’t it a little disrespectful to interrupt the day making people have to decide between tradition and bargains?

I’m not the only one who thinks so. A Target employee from Nebraska started a petition online requesting that Target open at 5 a.m. like always because opening at midnight is ruining Thanksgiving for the employees who have to work.

I agree with him. I don’t work at Target but I did work in a video rental store that was open 365 days a year and, let me tell you, it sucks to have to bolt down your Thanksgiving dinner and then go listen to people complain because you don’t have a copy of “Dumb and Dumber” in stock. It also sucks if you go home and you have to have your Thanksgiving dinner reheated on the plate ‘cause you had to work while everyone else in the family had time to eat.

Also, it’s just awkward timing because there are stores opening at 5 a.m. Now the choice becomes do you want to go do some shopping on Thanksgiving night, get home at 1 or 2 a.m. sleep for two hours and go back out or do you want to stay up all night?

Either way, I don’t like it. I’m not a late night person, I prefer to get up early and get out and about. I liked it when people called my sister and I crazy but getting up at 3:15 a.m. in order to get to Walmart and be there when it opened at 4 a.m. Sure, it was crazy but it was the beginning of a day where we’d move on to other stores, pause for lunch somewhere and be done by 2 p.m. Now, if we follow this plan, most of the stores opening at midnight or earlier will most likely be out of the doorbuster bargains and it really won’t be any different to shopping on a regular day.

I’m disappointed, I admit. Granted, in the grand scheme of things, it’s a small thing to be disappointed about. It’s just that like Thanksgiving itself, the 4 a.m. shopping trips were tradition for my sister and I and I don’t like it when people mess with tradition. I love the time with my sister because we don’t get to go out together as much as we used to and this has become our day.

I just don’t like that it’s not a straight shot anymore. You can either eat turkey, shop, go to bed and get up again, you can eat turkey, run to Walmart, run home, sleep for three hours and then go out again or you can skip the sleep entirely and most likely be quite unpleasant the next day.

Still, even with the petition, the circulars are printed and the store hours are set, at least for this year. The sad part is that now the stores have changed the tradition, they’re probably going to keep the new one for a while.

Is it so wrong that I want to enjoy my Thanksgiving day without having to think about fighting people in Walmart for a $3 chopper a few hours after eating my turkey?

Happy Friday and thanks for reading!

Nostalgia for Days of Yore....

I think that, when the holidays are upon us, it's inevitable that we look backwards in time to Christmases that have come before.

Or, at least, for me it is.

It's hard not to, really. It starts with the brochures, I think. This year, the Toys R Us Toybook came quite early and it's been at my parents' house where my nephews and nieces can leaf through it and decide what they'd like to add to their Christmas list. I leafed through the book and many other brochures this past weekend. It's amazing to see the toys that are popular now and compare them to the toys that were popular in my childhood.

Some of them are the same. Strawberry Shortcake has made a comeback, Cabbage Patch Kids are still around and Calico Critters bear a striking resemblance to the Sylvanian Families of my youth (and of which my younger sister was a collector). Heroes like Batman and Spiderman never really go out of style.

Yet there are new toys as well- Bratz, Monster High, LaLaLoopsy and other weirdly named dolls seem to be in vogue. Toy Story 3 is everywhere although those toys are actually Disneyfied versions of mine and even the generation before's youth.

It's not just the toys that are different. It's the world, really. Now's the time when, if I had a child, I'd be saying, "When I was a child..." and telling the stories of having to walk through snow and rain over the miles to get to school. Actually, I did have to walk a mile to school in the snow, thank you very much. It was freezing especially when you had to wear a school uniform that required a skirt.

But the world is different now. It was different in my youth from the generations that had come before me. It's constantly evolving. The places I notice it this time of year is in the stores.

When I was a child in England, there were toy shops. There were butcher's shops, a greengrocer, a fish market. There were bakeries and post-offices where you had to go to get stamps. To go shopping was an event. I'd wait patiently for my mother to order her merchandise from the vendors. The butcher's shop, for example, smelled of sawdust that masked the odor of meat. Behind thick strips of hanging plastic in a doorway, we could see the racks of meat hanging, waiting to be cut to order. In the greengrocers, the scents of apples and oranges, of onions and leeks and cabbage would blend together and I'd wait while my mother bought her potatoes and whatever else she needed. In the newsagents, they'd sell sweets and snacks, newspapers and soft drinks. We'd go there to pick up our weekly comics. That was my favourite shop because I had a sweet tooth and I'd spend my 10p of pocket money on 'little sweets' from the penny county counter.

What I'm getting at is that the world isn't like that anymore. The stores of my childhood are gone. They've been boarded up or replaced by cellular phone stores. If you want meat, you go to one of the mega-marts that are everywhere. The same goes for bread, for produce, for sweets.

It's the same in England as it is in the States. Here, you buy toys at Walmart or Target or K-Mart. Sure, Toys R Us is there but that's a megamart of a different kind. It's not a little toy shop with hand carved puppets, deluxe softtoys or collector-quality trainsets. It's a store full of what's popular. They sell FAO Schwarz toys in there now which makes me sad because I think FAO Schwarz is almost gone from the face of the world. That was a toy shop to see. I went to the New York Store which I think is still there and it's just something else. Even as an adult, I felt like I could be a kid in there again.

Speciality stores have become a novelty nowadays, oddities that are fun to peruse but more expensive to buy from because they have more overhead than the big chains. It's like in the movie, "You've Got Mail," in which Meg Ryan's delightful little children's book store is overshadowed and overpowered by the big chain bookstore.

I'm as guilty as the next person for helping this happen. I mean if I see something in a specialty store or catalog, the first thing I do is go to Amazon.com or other website to see if I can get it for less.

It's just the way of the world. It's economy and convenience. It's not wrong it's just...a little sad that this is what's happenend. Sure, we can blame Walmart but it's not all their fault. They wouldn't succeed with out us, the consumers who are eager for low prices with less hassle. Of course, personally speaking, these days I almost always find Walmart to be a hassle but the point remains.

It's just sad to look back and look upon a world that's lost the personality of individual stores and given way to 'all-in-one' types of places. It's hardest, I think, at Christmas because shopping is such a part of the experience. Nowadays, it's entirely possible to get all your shopping done in one store if you're careful.

Me, I like to spread the shopping around. This is probably why I enjoy spending time shopping online. The digital stores have become our speciality stores. I don't know if that's a scary thing or something that's just plain interesting to contemplate. I'm going to have to think on that.

In the meantime, I'll continue to look back through my rose-tinted glasses on past Christmases where Christmas shopping meant getting to look round the expanded toy sections of each department store and, as a special treat, to go visit Father Christmas in one of them. While I enjoy the scrimmage and chaos of early-morning Black Friday shopping, I like the idea of spending a day shopping. It means going to more than one store to get the shopping done and even though the stores carry much of the same products, it still feels different in each one.

I suppose that's the closest we can come nowadays to the forgotten days of speciality stores where each store sold lots of types of the same thing. I miss that, in some ways but it's quicker these days to shop and get the job done in one or two stores.

I suppose it's all a trade off. The world has moved on and we've moved with it.

But sometimes, wouldn't it be nice if time could stand still for a while?

Happy Tuesday!

No Mini Chopper for Me!

Well, Thanksgiving has already come and gone and it seemed to be far too quick. It seems like it was just Wednesday morning and I was loading the pups into the car and driving off to my parents. I love being able to do that. For too many years, Thanksgiving involved a red-eye flight from L.A. and landing in the wee hours of the morning on Thanksgiving day, being tired and irritable and never recovering quite enough to really feel like eating a ton of turkey.

Nowadays, it's a luxury to hop in the car and be there in just over two hours. It's nice to unload the puppies, sit down and relax the day before Thanksgiving so that when the day arrives, I can help cook.

It was fun this year although, as always, when it came time to serve up, everything got chaotic. Trying to get everything into serving plates while 14 hungry people await including four young children leads to a bit of chaos. In the end though we were all fed to our hearts' content, even the puppies who were treated to a little bit of turkey of their own.

Traditionally after Thanksgiving, we all retreat into the living room and pour over the ads for Black Friday. This year, my nephews and nieces decide to have a lot of fun running around, burning off energy. They weren't any trouble...just a little loud.

By the time everyone was gone, I have to admit the silence was a treat. My parents and I sat in a bit of a haze, letting the calm wash over us. The puppies were also a little traumatized. Usually, it's just me, Rory and Sookie at home. It doesn't get very loud and chaotic. The most chaos they're usually around is when they rile up the neighbour dogs or, if we're visiting my parents, when my pups chase around my parent's dogs and make them all hide.

Thus, a Thanksgiving evening filled with the squeals of childish joy, coupled with the overloud sounds of the TV as my older nephew watched "Kung Fu Panda" combined with a room full of adults conversing....well, it was no wonder Sookie was a docile as a teddy bear and needed to be soothed from her slight case of trauma.

Still, it was a fun day as was the next day. My sister and I followed our annual tradition of getting up for the Black Friday sales. Aside from the fact this year I managed to come down with a nasty cold on Thanksgiving night, we had a lot of fun.

We were a little irritated, however. We generally start at Walmart at 5 a.m which is when their big sales usually start. After that mass of chaos and confusion, we usually venture up to the other stores and do the rest of our shopping there. This year, however, Walmart decided to start at midnight with most of their specials and put only their electronics on special at 5 a.m.

This may not seem like a big deal but when most of the other stores we frequent on Black Friday don't start their sales until 5 a.m., the midnight specials are a little...inconvenient. We'd either have to go at midnight and then try to catch a couple of hours sleep before heading out- an idea which in theory sounds good but, in reality, would result in us being groggy and crabby all day- or just head out at 5 a.m. as planned and hope that they still had some of their sale items left.

We opted for option b, although my sister did send her husband out at midnight to Walmart for one item they absolutely wanted to get. He was successful. My sister and I...not so much. I didn't have a huge list of items but I've been wanting one of those mini choppers for a while. Every year on Black Friday, Walmart has a ton of them on sale for about $3. I was excited and had decided to buy one. I didn't think there'd be an issue. After all, for the past four years, at least, these choppers have been on sale on Black Friday for that price and every year for the past four years, you've been able to go to Walmart several hours after the craziness of the 5 a.m sale is over and still get yourself a mini chopper for $3.

Not this year, apparently. No, the one year I really want one, there seemed to be a run on the blasted things. There wasn't one to be found. Nor crockpots. Nor hand mixers. They were all $3. They were all sold out by 5 a.m.

Needless to say, I was rather perturbed. Why this year was there a run on mini choppers? I was so annoyed that when my dad went to Walmart later in the day on Black Friday, he asked an employee if they had any. By this time, my sister and I were deep in the middle of our shopping but I'd called my parents to check on the puppies because they were kind enough to puppy-sit and relayed my woes of not getting my chopper.

According to the store employee, people were buying the choppers by the cartfuls. Apparently, many were going to put them on ebay.

To this I say, um....really? Ok, so it was a great deal. Who doesn't want a mini food processor that can chop onions in a matter of seconds? Obviously, I wanted one so they're a hot item.

However...eBay? Really. As much as I want a mini chopper, it's not the kind of item I'm going to go try to outbid someone for on eBay.

All I can say is people are a little crazy. Granted, I was up at 5 a.m. to buy a $3 chopper so I also may be a little crazy but buying them for eBay? Huh. All I can say is that when my parents' town hosts their annual Garage Sale Day in May of next year, I guarantee there might be a few mini choppers to be had.

Still, even though I was thwarted in my chopper as well many of the other items I had on my list, my sister and I managed to put in a good, solid ten hours of shopping and managed to take care of much of our Christmas shopping. It was a lot of fun, rather productive and worth every minute of having to blow my nose, wait in line and freeze while we ran into stores. For some reason, every year, Black Friday tends to be the first really cold day of the year. This year was no exception. When I got up at 4 a.m., the ground was frozen, the rain that had poured down for most of Thanksgiving day had frozen into icy puddles and the wind cut through us like a nice.

Still, we persevered, we shopped and we conquered. It was a good Thanksgiving and a good Black Friday.

Even if I didn't get my mini chopper.

Stupid Walmart.

Happy Monday!

Thanksgiving Traditions...

Today was my "friday" at work. I decided to take tomorrow off so that Thanksgiving wasn't so rushed and quick and the puppies and I could take our time as we drove to my parents' house tomorrow.

Weeks like this are nice but usually slightly frustrating because everyone's already slightly in 'holiday' mode and everything slows down. It's harder to get people to return phone calls, harder to get people to commit to meetings/interviews and harder to get people moving forward.

I can't blame them, I suppose. I mean, this is a short week for me and all day today, I had that sense of an internal 'countdown' that didn't stop ticking until the clock hit five p.m. and I was officially on vacation until Monday.

Of course, it's not going to be the most restful vacation but, really, is thanksgiving ever really restful? As the self-appointed soux chef to my mother in the kitchen, Wednesday is usually spent with me and my notebook, planning each stage of cooking Thanksgiving Dinner in a Dinner Impossible style. My mother and I plan how long things take to cook, what needs to go into the oven when and how we can keep things moving so that we don't run out of oven space. This is usually coupled with trying not to panic because people are arriving and coming to say hello by standing in the kitchen and being social. Since my parents' have a relatively small kitchen, this makes movement and smooth sailing quite impossible.

Also, there always tends to be the issue of the carving of the turkey. My dad, naturally, likes to do this. We generally let him because otherwise, he sulks a little. One time, we let my older brother do it but he ended up taking three times as long as my dad usually does because that's just the way he is. He's very meticulous and quite a perfectionist. It's the same when you ask my brother to put lights on the Christmas tree. It ends up taking him several hours to position each individual light correctly on the tree branches. It ends up looking fabulous but by the time he's done, you're just wanting him to hurry up and you've sort of stopped caring how it looks.

Anyway, when it comes to carving the turkey, we let my dad do it. He usually picks the most inconvenient time possible. He's either much later than he should be or he decides to come and claim it when my mother and I are doing a graceful dance around the kitchen, moving plates, dishes, etc. to get everything in order.

Still, in the end, it all comes together. The meal always turns out delicously. It gets eaten far quicker than it gets prepared but that's always the way, isn't it?

After thanksgiving, it's become a tradition for everyone to grab the newspaper ads and start talking about what they want for Christmas, particularly the children. This is quite handy since my sister and I are Black Friday shoppers and it gives us ideas for our shopping trip.

We're planning on being at WalMart at 4 a.m. I'm not a huge fan of Walmart in general but it's a tradition. It makes you feel like you're part of something to be there at 4 a.m. waiting for the announcement that it's time to start shopping. That you're not be something sane per se is irrelevant. It's a tradition and it's fun to see all of the other nutcases who are there for the early-morning deals. It's just best to stay away from the big screen TV's. Big Screen TV buyers are a little scary.

I don't know where else we'll end up but I know we're likely to make a day of it on Friday. Chances are by Friday night, we'll be exhausted but in the meantime, it will not only be fun to be shopping all day but also to spend time with my sister and act like a crazy person.

Of course, she'd probably say that I generally act like a crazy person year round which may or may not be true but on Black Friday, I'm not alone.

That's a Thanksgiving tradition I just love.

Happy Thanksgiving- I'll be back next week!

In Which I Decided to Divorce Walmart...

I have to say, my weekend started better than it ended.

On Friday evening, I had once-more working air conditioning and two rather subdued but healthy puppies back from the vet after their spay. I decided that this would be a weekend of just staying at home, relaxing and keeping an eye on the puppies.

Saturday was nice. The only thing I had to do was go grocery shopping and so I went to Kroger and Walmart to get that done.

I've decided that it's time for me to officially divorce Walmart, by the way. Back when Walmart was just...Walmart- before it became Walmart Super Center- Walmart was fun. It was a little messy but it felt comfortable. The prices were lower and it was fun to go there and see what they had.

I enjoyed my relationship with Walmart. Truth-be-told, when I first moved to California, one of my favourite things to do when I came home was go to Walmart because they're a little harder to find in L.A.

Then, as time passed, Walmart stopped being so convenient, their prices went up...and then they remodeled. Their stores now have a warehouse feel and it's just not appealing- well, not to me, at least.

Every time I go in Walmart, I walk around, annoyed that they don't have what I'm looking for. When they do have it, I usually get a choice of the Walmart generic brand and the most expensive name brand. There's not much inbetween. I find myself more and more leaving Walmart, disgusted at how, once again, the store has failed me and rather than continue shopping for other things I need, I'd rather go to Kroger to do my shopping.

Thus, the bloom is now off the rose. As of Saturday when i still believed Walmart had lower prices on some stuff and carried things I couldn't necessarily find at Kroger...I'm officially ending the relationship with Walmart. We had our good times. We had fun together. But as we've grown older, we've become strangers. If it were really a marriage, this would probably be the stage where I'd lie in bed with my husband and start envisioning mean things I could do to him. If you've ever read Roald Dahl's book, The Twits- that's how I'm feeling towards Walmart. It's about a horrible husband and wife who try to do the cruelest things they can think of to each other because they dislike each other. At least, that's the way I remember it.

Anyway, I'm fed up of going to Walmart, hopeful that I'll get everything on my shopping list and finding that I'm always having to compromise or, worse, do without. So, bye Walmart- if I have to go into your walls, I'll be cordial but I don't expect anything anymore and I'd prefer that we remain strangers. It's not me...it's you.

So, aside from Walmart and Kroger- a store which continues to meet my expectations- I spent much of the day with the puppies. I had to do a bit of stern mothering when they tried to play like they normally did but, for the most part, I kept them calm.

Of course, the Dog Whisperer didn't help much with that. Ironically, I'd run into him at the vets. This was not too much of a coincidence since I got the referral for the vet from Wife of Dog Whisperer. However, this means that Dog Whisperer was fully away my pups had just been spayed and that maybe, just maybe, they would want a bit of peace. Or, at the very least, I might want them to have a little peace.

Alas, this was not meant to be since he let his yappy beasts out every single time I went out with the puppies. Now, normally, I leave the back door open a crack to let the puppies go in and out how they want. While it doesn't excuse the barking of Dog Whisperer's pets, it means that by allowing the puppies to run freely and knowing that their mere presence sets off the yaps, I do have a little responsibility there. Not much, but a little.

Of course, if I had my way about it and wanted to be completely mean, I'd be honest and say that yes, my puppies make his dogs bark but, really, his dogs shouldn't be barking like that in the first place. What is interesting is that on one of my recent vet visits, I tactfully asked the vet for suggestions on how to handle it. I figured that since she was their vet too, she knew they were yappy and may have some suggestions. She suggested a privacy fence and said it would go a long way to, "alleviate the tension that exists between you and your neighbours."

Now, call me paranoid but well, since I hadn't expressed any tension but merely asked for advice, I can't help but wonder if Dog Whisperer has mentioned some tension. Given that he no longer makes any effort whatsoever to control his dogs' barking, I can't help but wonder. I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt but, well, I'm finding it hard. Also, now I've realized how pricey a privacy fence is to build (over $1000), I'm finding it hard to feel like I should be the one to construct the fence.

Back to my original point- he let the dogs out every single time I was out with the girls. We went out once every couple of hours. Most of the day, the girl's slept. It's not that hard to look over and see if someone's in the yard next door before you let the dogs out. I do it all the time with the yappy beasts. I did it on Saturday, as a matter of fact so I knew when it would be a good time to take the girls out so they didn't start running around because of the barking next door. All my efforts to make sure the coast was clear went out the window when he let his dogs out anyway.

What made it worse was he came to fence to encourage my puppies to run and play. The puppies didn't know any better. They were probably sore and a little tired from their surgery but their first instinct is to be a puppy, not lie down and relax.

Needless to say, I made sure we went inside and I told the Dog Whisperer it would be better if the girls didn't get too excited. He did what he usually did- gave me a blank look and stood up. He doesn't talk much to me. Sometimes I wonder if he can't understand what I'm saying because he rarely responds to my questions or comments. It's a bit odd.

So, all in all, Saturday wasn't bad. It was nice and lazy.

Then I woke up on Sunday and realized my air conditioner wasn't working. Again. The technician on Friday had told me my 'high pressure switch had reset itself.' He reset it for me and it started working. He didn't know why it reset itself. This time, it seems to be the same problem.

It's not as hot as it was the last time the air conditioning broke but it's still hot. The worst part is trying to keep the puppies cool. I'm really hoping that the air conditioning repair company doesn't try to charge me for a second visit because really, I called them to fix it in the first place. Since they didn't really fix anything, I think that deserves another visit for free...right?

So, all in all, I decided that today was going to be a lazy day. I've done very little but watch Spain beat the Netherlands in the World Cup final match. I've been watching episodes of Top Chef and I've been making sure the puppies stay cool and not too hot. I think sometimes, when life doesn't go the way you plan or the way you want, it's best to just sit back and relax rather than stress about it. Or, at least stress while you're doing something fun.

I'm really hoping that someone will come and fix the air conditioner tomorrow but, in the meantime, we're in for another hot night.

If this continues, I might have to change my name to Captain Crankypants.

I apologize for being crotchety. I blame the heat. And the Dog Whisperer.

Happy Monday!

Dear Crystal Meth Makers...Thanks for Making Things Difficult...

It's Sunday evening already. I'm blogging earlier than I normally would because, after 7 p.m., tonight belongs to Lost.

Yes, I'm that much of a television nerd that I planned my Sunday around this evenings TV. In my defense, it's a big night for Lost- the last episode ever. I think given how much entertainment and puzzles it's given me since it aired, it deserves a proper send-off.

I shall sit down tonight and watch it with the puppies who I am hoping will sleep through the actual episode which is 2.5 hours and doesn't start until 9 p.m. Before that is a 2 hour special that basically honours the show and recaps everything that's happened. Or something like that anyway.

I haven't spent the whole weekend planning for it though. I spent most of yesterday cleaning my house since Saz is coming to stay next weekend. I also did some grocery shopping and bought a new TV as well as a stand for it. No, Captain Monkeypants has not come into the money- she just promised herself that when she got her tax refund, she was going to move into the digital age and actually buy a LCD television.

I bought it from Amazon.com and it should arrive Wednesday. I'm quite excited although I'm sure hooking it up might be a wee bit daunting. We'll see.

So, yesterday was a busy day. Today has been too. I spent much of it outside, sweltering in the sunshine. I mowed the garden, pulled some weeds, planted the last of my vegetable plants that I grew from seed, baked sausage rolls and bathed the puppies.

The latter did not go quite as well as I'd have liked since the puppies hate baths. They're small enough that the kitchen sink works quite nicely. Today, Rory decided that when I was bathing Sookie and she couldn't see her sister that I clearly was inflicting some awful punishment upon her. She proceeded to whine and cry and act like she was terribly wounded. Then, when it was her turn to be bathed, Sookie decided to whimper and cry and act like she was terribly wounded. Then when they were both done...they ran out into the garden, rolled in the grass and chased each other without another whimper. Strange puppies....

I also went to Walmart today. I think I've mentioned that I'm not a big fan of Walmart. When they first opened, like so many other people, I was enamoured with its cheap prices and easy-to-find..stuff. Then as time passed by, Walmart became far less friendly and cheap and eventually became the Evil Walmart that Destroyed Small Town Businesses and Then Became More Expensive than Kroger and Target- at least in my mind. These days, while Walmart does have some good deals, most of the time you can find the same grocery items on sale at Meijer or Kroger for the same price or cheaper. As for the non-grocery items, I find more and more that Target is better value and it's a lot more convenient.

Not to mention, Walmart have recently taken to remodeling the inside of their stores. Have you been in one like this lately? There's absolutely no rhyme or reason to the organization. You're in the kitchen stuff one minute then in crafts and then back in Kitchen. Also, there is tons of empty space between the aisles and it looks like a ginormous warehouse. That might be the idea but, let me tell you, when you're in a hurry and you need to dash in for two items, a ginormous warehouse is not where you want to go. You want to go somewhere where you can a) find the items because they're logically organized and 2) will not cause an asthma attack because it's so damn huge, you have to sprint from one side of the store to the other if you're unlucky enough that the two items you want are far apart which, I find, is most of the time.

My second complaint is actually not just towards Walmart. Today, I needed to buy some Claritin-D for my allergies. Over time, I've gone from being a casual seasonal sneezer to someone who wakes up with red, itchy eyes, a stuffy nose and a need to sneeze every two minutes and they're not the nice, dainty little sneezes... they're the ones that make puppies want to hide.

Here's where I say: Thank you, Crystal Meth Makers for making us allergy-prone people's lives so much more complicated.

I hate Crystal Meth Makers as a group. I don't think I know any personally. I hate them not only because they tend to be the less-intelligent members of society or the ones who have no grasp of reality but, also, because they need allergy medicine to make their stupid drug.

This means that because they were going and buying all the pseudoephedrine-containing products to make their drug, the government had to find a way to stop them. Now, everyone, not just Crystal Meth Makers has to jump through hoops just to buy a box of Claritin or Sudaphed that actually works.

Oh, I know- you can still buy the basic Claritin and other allergy medicines from the shelf because they don't contain pseudoephedrine but the thing is...they really don't work that well. They might curtail the sniffles or the sneezes a little but they don't stop it. It's like putting a band-aid on a badly bleeding cut- sure, it stops the bleeding for a bit but eventually, it's going to be useless.

So now, we all get to show our ID's and have them scanned whenever we buy allergy medicine from behind-the-counter. If we exceed our limit, we can be arrested. You might think, oh, this is just a 'soft' law but, let me tell you, they do arrest people. Take little old Sally Harpold- a grandmother of triplets from Indiana who was locked away in Clinton, Indiana where she was caught buying two cold medicines within seven days. Sadly, she wasn't even buying them for herself- one was for her husband and one was for her daughter. She was charged with a class-C misdemeanor, which carries a sentence of up to 60 days in jail and up to a $500 fine. Her record is potentially able to be expunged of the crime if Harpold pays the court costs, stays clean for 30 days, and presumably comes to terms with “her problem.”

This isn't a joke. It's a news story that I first heard on the radio and then researched because I didn't believe it.

This is one of the reasons I hate Crystal Meth Makers. Poor old Sally Harpold didn't know the law and now she's being treated like she's a Crystal Meth Maker even though all she did was run two errands for her family.

I know it's not the pharmacies' fault that they have to get our ID and report us if we exceed the limits of our pseudoephedrine allotment. It just seems to be that the law isn't always working the way it's supposed to an now it's not possible to have a super quick trip to a pharmacy- it involves digging out your ID, having it run through the computer and waiting to see if you're allowed to buy the medicine.

I suppose it's not that big of a deal, it's more of an inconvenience that the stupid members of our society are the reason we all have to comply to laws like this. I respect the law and all that but every now and again, you have to wonder if it's really doing anything. I mean, I'm not a crystal meth dealer but surely all it would take is asking some of your clients/friends/family to go and buy their allotment of pseudoephedrine for the month and then having them hand it all to you. It doesn't take a genius to figure out ways round a law like this which is probably why there's still a huge problem with crystal meth labs and the consequences that go along with them.

Ah, well...such is life. As I said, it's not Walmart's fault but I'll blame them anyway because I always leave there in a bad mood. Half the time I go in one now and then leave because I can't find what i'm looking for and its easier to go elsewhere.

Still, today, I did get most of what I needed. It turned out to be a nice productive Sunday after a nice productive Saturday. Those are sometimes the best kind of weekends even though they're not what some people call relaxing. For me, that's a different form of relaxation- at least it doesn't involve sitting at a desk, staring at a computer screen and dealing with office politics.

I hope you had a good weekend too. I'm off to start my Lost evening and find my puppies.

Happy Monday!

Black Friday, Thanksgiving and No Complaining Allowed!

I'm actually writing an early blog today rather than wait until tomorrow morning. This is because tomorrow is the Big Day at work in which we leave our cosy, familiar office building and move into our more "professional" corporate style offices. From all reports of the new office space, our particular division of the company has now been given new cubicles rather than the nice offices that the rest of the company has. In addition, our cubicles are designed so that our monitors face outwards rather than give us any privacy. As previously mentioned, I, for one, am slightly jumpy. Also, while I try not to abuse the freedom I've had at work to surf the internet, there are times when the mind-numbing dullness of my job drives me to escape to the world of Facebook once in a while. Thus, I'm slightly concerned that I may end up going a little crazy because I have absolutely no freedom.

However, we are all assured that our new offices are absolutely spectacular. Also, if we complain, we'll get fired.

Sadly, this is not an exaggeration. I believe the exact words were, "if you complain, consider it your last day at [insert company name here]."

Now, while I am not an ungrateful brat, I do understand that great expense and time was spent on our office and I'm sure it's splendid. I'm sure it's the best office that ever existed.

I just have to admit, I don't particularly care for the fact that we are, essentially, being threatened if we dare use that dastardly right to freedom of speech and express even the slightest negativity.

Of course, I would never do such a thing. Ever. Since my boss made a slight reference to the fact that he knew I had a blog, I'm wondering if that whole complaining thing applies here. If so...I'm doomed. Doomed, I say.

Unless, of course, I do what I'm doing now and write when I'm NOT in the office and thus can complain as much as I like.

As you can see, I'm already feeling a little negative towards the whole situation. I simply don't like being threatened. Also, I like to have a little freedom while I work instead of feeling like I'm being carefully monitored.

Still, I'm lucky enough to have had an entire week away from the office due to the fact that were were moving and, also, there was that lovely Thanksgiving holiday.

I enjoyed my holiday immensely. Even the actual Thanksgiving dinner turned out rather well thanks to some rather absurdly organized scheduling. I believe I can officially say that I watch too much Food Network. By the end of Thanksgiving Eve, I had managed to plot out the time table for prepping the food, cooking the food and plating the food.

My mother and I cooked the meal. All together, it took about five hours of prepping, roasting, sauteeing and roasting. It took approximately 20 minutes for the family to eat it.

I suppose that's the point. It's just that when you are actually the one who helps cook it, it's a little painful to watch those stuffing balls that took quite a long time to prepare, cook, cool, shape and roast disappear quite so quickly. It's also just a wee bit painful because you just want to hold onto the food for a while and admire the fact that it all got cooked with only one teensy little incident with roasted root vegetables and an electric skillet and one minor over-boiling of the mashed potatoes.

Still, it was a good holiday and any excuse to make roast turkey is ok by me.

Of course, cooking Thanksgiving dinner for 14 people is nothing compared to the chaos of the day that follows it.

Yes, once again, my sister and I were among the insane folk who were waiting at Walmart at 4:30 a.m. for Black Friday to begin.

Once again, I got to witness the chaos of a segment of the population who were going to get that 32 inch big screen LCD TV for $249.

Fortunately, neither my sister or I did not need a TV. We focused on the smaller items. Unfortunately, some of them were in the same aisle as the TV so there were so near misses with crazy people. Let me just say that being hit in the thigh with a shopping cart hurts a bit. Nevertheless, by 5:30 a.m. we were on our way to our next stop.

In the end, we spent 13 hours shopping. We saw humanity at its finest and most bizarre. For the record, if there is no parking spot in parking lot that's within reasonable walking distance, it is NOT ok to park on the sidewalk outside a store. Also, it is not smart to just abandon your mini-van wherever you want to because, chances are, there's a reason no one else was parked there.

Nevertheless, I have to confess, I love Black Friday. I love the chaos of Walmart at 5 a.m. and I love being done with shopping around noon. I also love having the freedom to continue shopping for a few hours after lunch, even though you've already been at it a very long time.

It was a good weekend. Not only did I get to spend time with my family but I got to catch up with friends and see "New Moon."

Yes. I confess. I willingly saw "New Moon." Regular readers know how I feel about the Twilight saga. I think it's asinine and dumb. I think Bella Swan needs to be tied up and yelled at for being such a pathetic role model for women. Also, I think any man named Edward is never going to be particularly masculine and tough no matter how much he sparkles in the sunshine. So why did I see the movie? Well, for all the reasons above. I have decided to embrace the fact that the movies are terrible. I am fortunate enough to have a friend with whom I can see the movies who understands why, sometimes, it's good to see a movie purely because it's going to be so silly, it's delicious. Thus, rather than write tomes regarding the creepiness of a shapeshifter (formerly known as a werewolf) who falls for an infant and the ickiness of a vampire who chews through his wife's placenta to deliver said infant, I'm just going to embrace the daftness. Also, sometimes, you just need to mock and "New Moon" was perfect for this. I don't quite think the Twi-hards in the theatre appreciate my friend's and my own snickers at the melodramatic dialogue and need for Kristin Stewart once again to play second fiddle to her hair but I, personally, had a great time. Isn't that really the point of movies?

Anyway, now it's Sunday night. Tomorrow morning begins a new era at work. It may mean I will have to be a good little Monkeypants and not blog quite so much from work. However, I will continue to blog regularly because I have to have an outlet of some kind. Also, because it's fun. Also, because I'm not permitted to speak my mind at work. Not that I think there'd be any reason to complain because it's perfectly natural for a company president to send a warning email like that...right?

Of course, the way my mind works, it's kind of like having someone who looks a little unusual and being told NOT to stare...the first thing you want to do is stare. Or being told that it's a serious occasion and you are NOT to laugh...yes....I'm the one that's trying to stifle giggles because the mere act of not being allowed to laugh suddenly seems funny. Not being allowed to complain means...I might be in trouble.

Oh dear.

Happy Monday and thanks, as always, for reading.

A Conspiracy Theory about Walmart....

So, it's a weird Monday morning today. I don't have to go to the office because it's the start of our conference this evening. We have to be in Indianapolis by the afternoon which means I have just about an hour before I start picking up my two coworkers and we take a road trip.

I have to admit, I'm still rather nervous about the conference. I ran through my presentation last night to make sure I would, at least, be able to say something to that room full of people. However, there are a couple of things that I talk about that scare me. You see, I have no idea what they mean. It'd be ok if I could just read the slides but I have to talk about them as though I know exactly what they mean. Since I inherited part of my presentation from a programmer who just quit to move to the Middle East, it's a very technical sort of thing. Methinks I should probably find out more about logging on startup and form configuration before I stand in front of 60+ people and talk about it.

Still, once the conference is over, I'll be able to move into my house which is rather exciting. I had a fantastically good time this weekend at garage sales with my sister and brother in law. I managed to get a full-sized bed (minus mattress) for $10, a lovely painting for $3 and all other kinds of good stuff none of which cost more than $1. I love garage sales.

I also spent some time at Walmart this weekend with my mother. I used to quite like going to Walmart because it was cheap and you could find excellent deals. Nowadays, I'm beginning to grow a wee bit suspicious of the giant chain and I now have a conspiracy theory to share with you.

You see, I think Walmart has lulled us in complacency with their low-low prices and super mass of goods for sale. For the past few years, they've taken over the U.S., spreading their tentacles into even the smallest towns, killing business that can't compete with their prices and selection. I confess, though I hated that Walmart was taking over, I appreciated that there was a place to go where I could find groceries and other goods at such a good price. Walmart got me through some hard financial times.

The problem is with the lulling. We all now instinctively believe that Walmart is the cheapest place to go for things. It's been the case for the past few years. For me, it was a question of 'do I want to drive all the way to Walmart and get things for cheaper or do I go to Kroger where it'll be more expensive but it's closer.'

Except, here's the thing: Walmart isn't so cheap anymore. Nope. I don't know if you Walmart shoppers out there have noticed but those low-low prices aren't quite so low-low anymore. In fact, compared to Kroger they're at least the same, if not higher.

I'm talking prices on produce, cleaning products, toothpaste, kitchenware, frozen foods...everything Walmart sells. Granted, it's not like the prices have skyrocketed but they've been creeping up so slowly that unless you pay attention, you might not notice. Take, for example, something I noticed. They carry a line of dog-treats called "Canine Carry-Outs." These are a more generic brand of expensive items like Begging Strips or the Purina treats. When I first discovered these treats for Sausage, I was excited. They cost $1.09 for a bag. That was six months ago. Then they went up to $1.15. Then they went up to $1.25. Now, they're around $1.49 a bag. That's a big increase over six months. It might not seem like it but did you notice how the price kept creeping up slowly instead of jumping?

I know the economy is a mess. I know everything costs more to make. The interesting thing is that other stores are lowering their prices to help us consumers out. The same brand of dog treats at Meijer, a Midwestern grocery chain, is $1.25 and has been for a while. It hasn't risen in price, nor has their price on produce or frozen foods. Perhaps Walmart's suppliers are charging more but, here's the thing, they're Walmart, I think they can afford to cushion us from the increasing prices a little, don't you?

Obviously, it's not just dog treats that are more expensive. I used to love that Walmart carried name brands but always a generic form that was comparable in quality but a fraction of the price. It's getting harder and harder to find the generic brands there. Even their kitchen section, or 'the spatula aisle' as I call it, has changed. It used to be a whole aisle of small kitchen things like lemon juices, whisks, strainers, spatulas, corn-cob holders, all those things you tend to find lying in your kitchen 'junk' drawer. That aisle used to be reliable because they had everything and it was cheap; it wasn't a name brand but it did the job. Yesterday, at Walmart, I went to that aisle and saw that it had dwindled. It's now a tiny little section and has been replaced by similar items but they're all Farberware or Oneida branded things.

Not that I have anything against Farberware or Oneida. That's good stuff. Yet it's also at least double the price of the old aisle. Yes, it's good quality but if you're at Walmart and you need to find a melon baller, wouldn't you rather get the one for $2.99 than the stainless steel one for $7.99? Sure, the quality would be better but it's a melon baller. How many melons are you really going to ball with it, seriously?

So, that's my theory. Walmart is rising their prices now because everyone just assumes they're cheapest. They're not. If you have one of those Kroger plus cards, it's cheaper to shop at Kroger (or Ralphs if you're on the West Coast). Even Meijer can be cheaper than Walmart. However, the company has everyone fooled into thinking they're the cheapest option; they're exploiting our trust. I'm not happy about that.

I'm also not happy that Walmart doesn't sell the new Green Day album because Green Day refused to allow them to censor it. I'm impressed that Green Day were able to put their principals above the potential money that would come in from Walmart's sales. I think they were right. I also think they were right when they pointed out that Walmart doesn't sell a CD that uses the F-word but they sell guns and maybe if they put Green Day's CD in the gun section, it would be alright.

Still, it's another sign that Walmart is a monster that has taken over the country. In many cases, there's nowhere to shop but Walmart. People protested when a store was going to open because they knew Walmart would kill local businesses and yet still Walmart came. Now we have no alternative but to shop there if we need things. It doesn't mean that Walmart should be taking advantage of that. I'm keeping my eye on them. I'll keep you posted.

Happy Monday.

I'm an Adult and I Blame the Jonas Brothers

So, last night as I'm watching TV, getting ready for Grey's Anatomy, it occurred to me that I'm getting old. It was one of those horrible, sudden realizations that stops you cold for just a second. Ok, so I am approaching my mid-thirties and it's not that old but you have to understand, until recently, I still sort of counted myself on the side of the young 'uns and not of the grown-ups.

I think it's time to admit I'm a grown-up, an adult. Eek. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I've been living like a kid. My bed is a grown up bed, not some princessy, curtain-draped wonder. I cook. I clean. I even occasionally do my own laundry. I act like an adult, I've just never really felt like one.

You might wonder what spurned this revelation. Well, in all honesty, it was those blasted Jonas Brothers. You have to be somewhat familiar with them. They're the hot teen band; you cannot go into Walmart without seeing their stuff displayed by the Hannah Montana merchandise. I think there are three of them, they're Disneyfied boys, prettied up to get the girls screaming and they play that bubblegum rock that makes your teeth feel like it's going to fall out of your head with the sweet teen-ness of it all.

Last night I saw a preview for their movie or whatever it is they're promoting and I thought to myself, "what funny looking little boys" and then it hit me, I called them little boys. My mind flickered to the audience for whom they exist and I realized that I had no connection to this generation, that it had moved on and so had I.

I think this is the first generation with which this has happened. I try to stay pretty current in my music tastes. I'm a die-hard Green Day fan, I love Linkin Park, I love My Chemical Romance, I like some of the songs they used in the Twilight movie. (I'm sad to admit that Stephanie Meyer and I do have similar taste in music and when she lists the songs that on her writing playlist, they're usually very similar to mine). I'm always worried that I'll seem like an old person trying to be young but, in truth, I really don't care. I've always loved music and that will most likely never change.

I will say that even when I was a teen, it's doubtful I would have liked the Jonas Brothers. With my generation, it was New Kids on the Block or, as they're so fondly known, NKOTB. I despised them in high school. I was annoyed at their popiness, their irritating sickly ballads, their clean-cut looks and their horrible choreographed dancing. I was into the hard rock stuff, Bon Jovi, Skid Row, Def Leppard, Cinderella. Well, that was until I suddenly started listening to showtunes and I became a complete an utter nerd but I've already told you about that.

Yet even though I didn't care for NKOTB, I cared enough to tease my friends who did and, deep down, understood why they liked them...yet it still wasn't for me.

With the Jonas Brothers, I realized I didn't even care enough to mock them. They exist but they have nothing to do with me. I wouldn't know if I heard them on the radio, all I'd know is that I was on the wrong station and scan for another one. Even with the craze before that, High School Musical (HSM), I had seen the first stupid movie. It was when I lived alone in L.A. and I had a free preview weekend of the Disney Channel (I only ever had basic, basic, BASIC cable- local channels only with a few odd extras). I thought it looked interesting when they previewed the first HSM. I still like a good musical and I thought "That looked cute."

Bad idea. I thought it was awful. It was a shiny-happy version of high school and not one that I remembered. I knew it was Disney but wow, was it Disney, the dimples, the shiny hair, the happy ending...give me that in a cartoon form, change the characters into monkeys or something and I might like it but not with those insipid kids with their flat-ironed hair and trained-from-birth singing voices.

Yet, you'll notice, I still cared enough to pick on it, to make fun of it. I would never mock the fans of it unless they were over the age of 16 but you get the point, right?

Those Jonas Brothers are just a sign of the times. They're a safe transition from pre-teen to teenagerness. Yet, to me, they're just there. I don't even groan when I see their posters the way I do with the two leads from Twilight because the kids like The Jonas Brothers and let 'em have their music.

(Of course, the Twilight thing might be because every picture I see of Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart looks like they've been smoking something they shouldn't have. Seriously, want a visual picture of 'stoned', look at the latest cover of Entertainment Weekly.)

I digress. Again. Anyway, back to the Jonas Brothers. They make me feel old. I do still remember the butterflies that a pre-teen crush can bring.*

(*side note: I already confessed I used to love George Michael. Today, a remake of "Careless Whisper" was on the radio and I still know every word without thinking. Bizarre.)

Yet I don't get the fuss about the Jonas Brothers and I don't care. The kids like 'em. That's all that matters. And by saying 'the kids' I'm separating myself off as an adult.

I suppose it had to happen sometime, I had to come out of the closet and admit I was a grown-up, no matter how many times I watch or read Harry Potter but I just didn't expect it to happen so suddenly and without my knowing it was going to happen.

I suppose it had to happen sometime, right?

Have a great weekend.

Thanksgiving and the Insanity of Black Friday Shopping

And so, the week begins again.

Not that I can complain. After five days off from work, some quality time with friends and family and some rather tasty food, returning to work should seem fairly easy. Naturally it's not. I think time off makes us a little greedy and shows us a side of life that we often try to cram into the two weekend days. There's something rather delicious about not having to set an alarm, about eating whenever you like, about being able to pick up a book in the middle of the day and curl up with it. However, on the flipside, without work, those luxuries would no longer be luxuries, they'd be routine. So, in a way, work isn't so bad. Most of the time.

Yet, I did have a lovely holiday. For the first time in about four years, it was organized chaos instead of pure chaos. We had a few kid-wranglers to keep the little ones out of the kitchen, we had the table set and ready to go by the time the guests arrived and aside from my father's attempted coup of the kitchen, everything went well. My father is a good cook, as I have mentioned. However, he has terrible timing. This year, despite my mother's highly efficient pre-preparation and cooking schedule, my dad decided he would not only be Vice President In Charge of Roast Potatoes but that he'd also take over the cooking even though my mother was on top of it. Fortunately, my mother managed to triumph anyway. Never underestimate the power of turkey carving to distract a man.

Aside from the traditional eating part of Thanksgiving, I also participated in another newer tradition: Black Friday. Yes, I was one of the nutcases who decided to get up at 4 a.m. to go shopping. In my defense, my sister really wanted to go and since she had accompanied me last year at my request, I owed her a trip.

So, on Friday morning at 4 a.m., I crawled out of bed, defrosted my car, picked up my sister and went to Walmart. It's an adventure, I'll tell you. Our local Walmart was (fortunately) not one of those in which people went nuts and trampled security guards to death. I also didn't see any guns. Instead, it was just a store full of hungry-eyed people, ready to fight for the death for a $25 pre-lit Christmas tree or a $2 DVD.

If you've never been to Walmart on Black Friday at 5 a.m., you've missed out on an experience I can only describe as insane. We arrived at 4:55 a.m. There were no carts except ones with baby seats attached. We took one of those but managed to find a normal cart when we were inside. Inside Walmart at 4:56 a.m., it was a bizarre sight: Hundreds of shoppers were just standing there, their carts poised but mostly unmoving except for that wolfish look in their eyes. It was almost like an episode of Heroes in which Hiro had frozen time and people were standing their, frozen. We grabbed one of the last remaining spots on an aisle and waited. I was hoping someone would blow a whistle at 5 a.m. but, instead, an announcer calmly informed us it was now 5 a.m. and shopping could begin. And it began. And ended. It was complete chaos.

My sister and I aren't big on crowds but we do like a bargain. Thus, we have a few rules that we recite in the car as we drive to Walmart. They are:

1) Never Abandon the Cart
2) Always Stick Together
3) If one of us does have to leave to go snag a bargain, Rule #1 is still in effect. One of us must always stay with the cart and NOT MOVE from the spot in which we wait. Only when the other shopper shows up can we move again.
4)Always know what you want BEFORE 5 a.m. A list is vital.

You'd be surprised how effective these rules are. And how necessary. You wouldn't believe how many people actually try to steal from other shoppers' carts. It's really like a Darwinian experiment. If you manage to snag a much-coveted copy of The Goonies and someone else wants it, well, you better watch out 'cause if you turn your back, that movie is gone.

Another trick to a successful Black Friday shopping trip is to do some research. For example, this year, I wanted one of the coveted $25 pre-lit trees. Two days before, I had made a trip to Walmart and checked out the trees to make sure it was worth the fight. I also took note of where they were normally kept. On Black Friday, about five of these trees were placed out for the shoppers to fight over and, let me tell you, there was no fight, there was merely a metaphorical cloud of snoke in the air as we watched the shoppers attack the trees. Let's just say that by 5 a.m. and thirty seconds, those trees were gone.

But they really weren't. There were still hundreds of them but they hadn't been brought out into the aisles, they were still in the Christmas section. I grabbed one, making sure it was the same one as in the ad. It was. We were the lone renegades for a while until, finally, the Walmart staff finally started to let people know where they could get their tree. By this time, my sister and I had secured almost our entire list.

If you want a mental picture of what the experience is like, picture a Walmart. Then picture the normal aisles. In the middle of these aisles are organized stacks of all of the items that are on sale for Black Friday. Then take away the organized part, throw in hundreds of people, fighting to the death to get their Flat Screen High Definition TV and then picture them using that TV as a weapon to shove people out of the way. Yeah, that's about it.

Aside from a minor injury- my sister got rammed very hard on her shin by a Woman in Search of Hannah Montana items- we escaped unscathed with a cartload of our items. Since we were up, we decided to keep shopping and hit some of the other sales. We got the best bargains and it was also relatively fun. Best of all was a shiny new Target, recently opened, in which a strange aura of calm lay. It seems that not everyone knows this Target is there yet and we managed to steal some peaceful shopping without having to fight our way through.

You might think us crazy, you might think us strange but both my sister and I now have about 80% of our shopping done. We saved money. Best of all, we got to hang out together and have fun doing it. Our one mistake was thinking that going to the mall was a good idea. It rarely is, even when it's not Christmas. Aside from that misstep, all in all, we managed to make a day of insanity into a day of fun.

Now I'm back at work, the turkey leftovers are gone and with it almost all the traces of our Thanksgiving holiday. (Except for my sister and her Black Friday bruise. It's a war injury- be proud!) It's gently snowing outside and the big fluffy flakes are settling. I know I said that it was too early for Christmas but now that pumpkin season is over, I think it's ok to enjoy the season. I confess, I put my tree up yesterday and lay under the lights, Grey's Anatomy, style to appreciate the beauty and peace that only 200 mini multicoloured lights can provide.

And so, today, though I'm back at work, I have my tree waiting for me at home. I can turn on the lights and let the day slip away as I relax in the peace of my freshly-decorated apartment. It's the small things in life that make it good.

Happy Monday.

Let's Not Deck the Halls Just Yet...

So, it's Friday. It's all gloomy outside, as though the sky is thinking about raining but doesn't quite have the energy to do so. It's like all mornings at the end of the week where your alarm goes off and you think, "five more minutes," and roll over, trying to get up the energy to sit up and eventually crawl out of bed. Not that weather has an alarm clock...but you get the idea. It's supposed to rain a lot today. I'm going to my parents tonight and it's supposed to snow there, even though it's a mere two hours north.

But it might be good for it to snow. You see, apparently, it's almost Christmas. I know this because my TV tells me so. I've never made a secret of the fact that I watch a fair amount of television. I have my regular shows for the week. I've also told you that I don't have TiVo. I actually don't have cable. I also have to get one of those digital converter box thingies. I even got the $50 credit towards it. Note to self: Buy digital converter box.

Anyway, so, without TiVo, I tend to watch most of my shows live. Which means I also watch the adverts- or commercials- depending on which side of the ocean you're from. Now, I actually don't mind watching commercials, especially now the damn election ads are done. (Hooray for that, by the way). I enjoy the PC/Mac commercials because I'm a bit of a geek and they make me laugh. My favourite one is the one where the PC demonstrates the line of teas that Microsoft has invented to soothe harried Windows users (Refresh Raspberry being my favourite). I'm also a sucker for the adverts that have funny acts of violence in them such as the one for Sprint (I think) where the two men were comparing phone features and one of them claimed to have theft deterrent which he demonstrated by throwing the phone at the other man's head. Outpost.com had some my all time favourites in which they'd try to make an impact on viewers of the commercial by unleashing packs of wolves on high school bands and firing gerbils from a cannon.

Ok, yes, let's get it out of the way: I have a bit of a dark sense of humour. It's not like any real band kids or gerbils got hurt. And throwing a cell phone at someone's head is probably a little mean but it still made me laugh because it was so unexpected.

Anyway, so I actually pay attention to the commercials. I like them, particularly if they're entertaining. I'm a good little consumer: If the ad makes an impact, I might be inclined to consider checking out the product. After all, I love that little Cockney Geico Gekko so much, I actually switched to Geico for my car insurance needs.

And, um, actually, that's true. Mock all you like. He's cute. I even have a little statue of him on my desk. So there.

Back to the blog topic at hand. Now that the election is done (did I mention...hurrah!?), I've been paying more attention to the ads again. And, well, I've noticed a disturbing trend.

Christmas. My TV is showing me commercials for Christmas stuff.

Here's the thing: I adore Christmas. I love the snow, the holly, the decorating of the tree, the delicious baking that surrounds me, particularly my mum's sausage rolls and mince pies, the gift buying, the gift wrapping, the carols...all of it. I love the comfort of the holidays. I even love the crazy shopping, most of the time.

It's just...well...I'm not ready for it yet. I don't think we're supposed to be. It was Halloween a week ago. Thanksgiving hasn't happened yet. It's still three weeks away.

I suppose we're lucky, really. I've noticed that Wal-Mart has subtly been sneaking in Christmas stuff into their garden section since late August. Lowes too.

I know it's an attempt to get people spending money sooner. I know that stores think the earlier they start selling stuff, the more money they can make. I just don't like that.

I'm ok with Christmas hitting in full swing the day after Thanksgiving. In fact, last year, I was one of the psycho-shoppers looking for the bargains at 4 a.m. It was an experience, that's all I'll say. I just like to be prepared.

The thing is, I actually have started Christmas shopping. I try to buy gifts that I think people would like when I find them. This means I don't have a mad dash right before Christmas and also allows me to spend more wisely. But that was my trick and I liked being able to peruse stores WITHOUT the insipid "Frosty the Snowman" type songs being played on a repeatable track and without everyone crowding in in case they just happen to find that Tickle Me Elmo v.5000 that also works as a personal assistant as well as having maniacal giggling fits when you tickle it.*

I also don't like Christmas to be forced on me like this. I want it to sink in, slowly. I want the first snowfall in November to be quiet and stand on it's own merit; I don't want to have it ruined by a sudden rush of Christmas cheer. I want to be able to still have a pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks until Thanksgiving and THEN I want to have the option of a Gingerbread Latte instead. Pumpkin comes before Gingerbread and it spans two holidays- Halloween and Thanksgiving. Let me have my Dryers pumpkin ice-cream for a couple more weeks until I have to dig through the Candy Cane Crunch to see if Wal-Mart still has it.

And, Wal-Mart, DO NOT turn put your Christmas food stuff in the juice aisle. Seriously, I want to go buy my Juicy Juice without being distracted by the increasingly large array of candy-cane flavours. Seriously, candy canes=peppermint. What is up with with the cinnamon chocolate ones? I love licorice but even I would not consider eating a licorice candy cane.

Well, not until Christmas, anyway.

So, that's my rant for now. In a couple of weeks, I might be ready to hit the department stores and start shopping. This means it will be freezing cold out so that you have to wear a heavy coat and then when you get inside, you will almost die of heatstroke inside the department stores. That's a Christmas tradition in itself I think.

Some traditions I could deal with now. Like mum's baking. Particularly the sausage rolls. Those can be a year-round thing. Or even a this-weekend thing. And yes, Captain Monkeypants is nothing if not a subtle hinter.

But as for the rest of Christmas, I don't think any of us are really ready to start decking the halls, going on sleigh rides, dreaming of a white Christmas or roasting chestnuts on an open fire. We all have rotting pumpkins to clear away, Halloween candy to buy at 75% off and Thanksgiving turkey to think about first. Only when the blissful peace of a Thanksgiving Night after all the guests leave settles upon us should we turn our thoughts to Christmas.

And until then, I will try to ignore the commericals I see on my tv and avoid the juice aisle in Walmart. Maybe I'll start drinking fresh juice instead. I really like that Florida Orange juice commercial with the man on a crate talking about things that he likes....

Happy Friday. Have a great weekend!

*Note: There is no such thing as Tickle Me Elmo v.5000 to the best of my knowledge just in case you decided to go looking for it or something. I made it up. Obviously.