Passing "The Toast Test"....

It's a sunny Wednesday today; still cold, but sunny. For some reason, I'm feeling nice and positive today. I think it's because I had fun writing last night. That's always good for an energy boost. I'm hoping it lasts through the workday. There's nothing better than having a day at work where I don't want to hurl something at my computer screen or, occasionally, at a coworker.

I have exactly one week before I'm supposed to find out if I'm eliminated from the Amazon contest or I move on. The forums have been reduced to bickering and petitions about buttons- there are 'do you think this comment adds to the discussion- yes or no' buttons on each posting- and apparently some people have been saying 'no' and causing trouble with their negativity. The clique is back in full swing because the reviews that we all got were posted and there's an awful lot of sour grapes and bitterness going around. I'm sure that some of the review were a little harsh and probably inaccurate but having been booted out in the first round last year, there comes a point when moving on is wise. I hate criticism, I hate reading bad stuff about my novels but...one thing I've learned....listening is wise, even when it stings. I know it's easier to say since I did make the quarterfinals but I'm considering it my "get 50 rejections, get 1 piece of hope free" bonus.

So, needless to say, I finding other ways to entertain myself on the internet. Believe it or not, I get a lot of work done in the day but I have learned that since my job is working with computer software, documentation and testing, I cannot do it solidly all day without taking quick breaks. My concentration wavers after a while and so a quick surf of Facebook or Entertainment Weekly online puts me to rights and working is easy again. Or easier, at least.

Yesterday, my surfing 'break' was spent trying to find a recipe for dinner. I'm not much of a cook, and my dabbles in the kitchen, while sometimes succesful, often result in disasters. Yet sometimes, I get the urge. I've learned that I should stick to what I know and what I feel comfortable with. My favourite thing to cook is vegetable dishes. This is probably why I like making soup; I love veggies and soups allow me to feel like a cook without too many scary incidents. Last night, I decided to venture out. I had a ton of fresh vegetables in my fridge. I'm very susceptible to produce departments and farmer's markets. I can go into a store or market with the intention of buying some bananas and a loaf of bread and emerge with a cart full of fruits and vegetables. This happened this weekend because I went to Jungle Jim's again.

I knew in my fridge, I had asparagus, green pepper, tomatoes and other assorted goodies. So I thought I'd try something pasta-related. I looked for a recipe but didn't find anything that appealed. I found a couple of ones that made me realize that if I used the chicken stock I had left over from making soup this weekend, I could make something interesting. So I did what any occasionally-terrible-cook shouldn't do...I made something up.

Surprisingly enough, I accidentally made something edible, healthy and...tasty. I'm on a healthy kick because I'm trying to lose my winter weight. I ended up simmering asparagus, green peppers, cherry tomatoes, onions and garlic in chicken broth and white wine, grilling a chicken breast and putting that in just before the vegetables soften and tossing it with pasta. When everything was simmering, I tasted it and it was a wee bit bland so I though, "hmmm...wonder what would happen if I added a little fat-free cream cheese." I am a genius!

Well, not a genius, just lucky because the cream cheese didn't ruin the recipe, it just added the right amount of creaminess and flavour that the recipe needed. I like to toss in stuff from my spice rack so I chucked in a little bit of dill and oregano. I ended up enjoying a rather large bowl of pasta in front of the television with "MI-5" and the lovely, if slightly traumatized, Adam Carter. In case you hadn't figured it out, I'm slightly in shock that I cooked without a) setting a tea-towel on fire as often happens b) didn't accidentally turn the colander into which I drained my pasta upside down and accidentally lose my spaghetti down the sink (as has happened more times than I'd like to share) and, c) I actually ate the food I made and didn't have the thought that ordering a pizza would have been tastier and easier. I usually test my culinary efforts against what I like to refer to "The Toast Test".

I love toast. I've mentioned that many times in my blog, I'm sure. It's the perfect food. I like to put things on my toast like Marmite, baked beans, spaghetti o's, scrambled eggs, cheese...you get the idea. So, when I cook something that could be considered more culinary than, say, heating up a can of Chef Boyardee ravioli and putting it on toast, it's exciting. Thus, I created the toast test. If my recipe/cooking makes me wish I'd made toast for dinner instead, it fails. When I make soup, sometimes I make toast to go with it. If one of my soup recipes only tastes nice because I get to eat toast with it, it fails The Toast Test. If I'd rather make plain old toast and eat it with marmite than eat another bite of my recipe, it fails.

Last night, I can safely safely say I didn't want toast for dinner. I wanted my pasta. Needless to say, I was so excited I wrote the recipe down so that I could try it again. This is not to say I'm bragging about my culinary skills because, well, trust me, I'm not. If you want a real cook, you should look at the blog for Rad Linc Crafts: now that's cooking. I dabble. I try not to set things on fire. I try to make something edible. These are not lofty goals. So, when I make something that is not only edible but tasty, I consider that a victory. Score one for Captain Monkeypants.

I followed up my cooking with some quality writing time. I started a new novel with an existing character from another novel. I'm writing about his childhood at the moment. When I went back and reread what I'd written last night, I had one of those amazing, unreplicatable bursts of elation that only writing can bring me when I realized that I could hear the adult voice of my character in his words as an eight-year-old and I hadn't even planned it. That's the moment when I realize that I'm not just 'creating' a character but, rather, the character has found me and from then onwards, even if our relationship isn't always harmonious, a novel will come of it. It's one of the best feelings in the world, trust me.

So, I start this Wednesday in a great mood, a feeling of content that even a day full of software testing of a very buggy program can't take away. I hope your day starts just as well.

Happy Wednesday.

An Author in Search of Six* Characters (*six not required)

I've been blogging a lot lately. Given my tribulations with the DMV, it's probably healthier that I deal with my frustration using my writing rather than use, say, physical violence. That's the nice thing about writing. It's such a great outlet. Of course, it's also nice to unleash a torrent of frustration on a listening ear- I have a few of those and am grateful for all of them- but there's something nice about pouring your heart out about how you really feel. As you've probably noticed from my Stephanie Meyer rants, I tend to be slightly opinionated about...certain topics, particularly books.

I also love to blog because it's like a daily writing exercise. My writing has been at a bit of a standstill lately. I sent out queries to agents and haven't heard a word back, not even a rejection. Since I made a promise to myself that I'd try much harder to actually do something with my novels before I started another one, that promise seems to be buried in my subconcious and putting up a wall whenever I think about starting a new novel. I have a couple of ideas but none which are leaping to the front of the queue. So I've been doing little writing exercises to get myself over the hurdle of not writing.

When I write, music is of the utmost importance. In all honesty, every one of my novels has been inspired by a song that I've heard that's caused my mind to create a story around it. Sometimes the story is influenced by the song. Green Day's American Idiot album inspired a whole novel. I never stole from Green Day but I let their music weave a story in my mind using phrases from the songs to create a framework. I still love that novel because whenever I listen to American Idiot, Jimmy DeLeon, my main character, is suddenly in my mind again.

That's what I've been doing lately. I've been listening to songs and then writing based on that song. Last week, I did a short piece based on The Airborne Toxic Event's "Sometime Around Midnight." It's an awesome song, romantic, yearning, full of heartbreak and sadness and nostalgia. So that's the short story I wrote. I have no idea if it's legal or not to do that. I'm not plagarizing the song, just letting it tell me what to write. Now I'm doing one for Coldplay's "Viva la Vida." That one is harder because there are so many possibilities.

Whether or not it is legal, I don't care. I do care that I'm getting over my mental block. I don't consider it writer's block because I am still writing and I figure if I refuse to believe in writer's block, I won't ever suffer from it. I might have writer's 'obstacles' but not writer's block. It's the same thing as when I am in the middle of a novel and I get stuck. One of my tricks is to 'go out' with a character. I suppose that sounds insane to anyone who doesn't write but it's a really great way to get over being stuck. When I go out with my characters, I usually pick a location that suits the character. For example, in my romantic drama about a skateboarder and his unattainable crush, I was having trouble getting inside the skateboarder's mind. His name is Jamey. So I decided we needed to go to the beach (much easier in California than it would be now in Ohio). I packed up my bag, took my notebook and headed out. It turned out to be a rainy, cloudy day but it also ended up being perfect. What I do is 'interview' the characters, just let them talk to me. Sometimes, I'll ask questions, sometimes I'll just let them tell me their history.

It does sound crazy when I type it out but, I'm telling you, it's never failed to work. It's not like I'm actually talking out loud to them. I only do that in places where I know people won't see me. No, I just let it be a thought process between us. I've learned some fascinating things about my characters that way.

I suppose to a non-writer, that really does sound a little mental. After all, if I create a character, I should know everything about him/her already, right?

Not for me. I think I've explained before that I never really feel like I create the characters. They just sort of find me and they're the ones that guide my story. I tried hard to steer my last novel but my main character just didn't change the way he was supposed to and I ended up with a different version of my novel than the one I'd originally planned. The one that I did finish was better, it was twistier, darker but also ended much differently than the novel I'd set out write. I think that was the moment when I truly did realize that I don't control my novels, the characters do. I like that.

So, the question is, do I still keep up the ever-necessary quest to find an agent, stalling future writing in hopes that my past writing will get notice or do I take a break and write something new, riding out the storm of this nasty economy and hope that publishing takes an upswing and agents are more willing to read unpublished author's work?

I think I'll see what happens. I'll keep my mind open to new characters, new music, new ideas and, when I'm ready, I'll start a new novel. I think that's the best I can do. I'd say I was holding out to win the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award but, as I've said, that's a crapshoot, something for me to do with a finished novel rather than a place to truly pin my hopes and dreams. It's just another unanswered question like those queries I sent to agents; I never thought I'd want to be rejected but better that than no response at all, I suppose. I always was a creature who liked closure.

You know, I am starting to get an idea for a novel about the DMV so maybe I will start something new.

Happy Tuesday.