Christmasy Weekends and another Bridget Jones' Party Experience

It's another Sunday evening where the weekend has flown by entirely too fast. It's a wet, chilly night out there- the rain has been coming down for a couple of hours and with the glow of my Christmas tree lights, it seems positively cosy in my living room.

I've tried to have a very Christmas-y weekend. I decided earlier in the season that since I adore Christmas so much, I was going to make the most of it and try and be as festive as possible this year. It's hard to avoid jumping right into the Christmas spirit when the stores are festooned with yuletide glory, the radio is full of Christmas music and it seems like it smells like cinnamon everywhere.

I put up one of my Christmas trees on Friday night. Normally, I only have one. However, for the past couple of years, my sad, Walmart Black Friday $20 Bargain Tree has been looking a little forlorn and pathetic even when I've tried to hide the gaps with decorations and garlands. So this year, I splurged and got a new tree. It's very nice with no gaps and it looks somewhat real. I'd actually rather have a real one but since I spend Christmas at my parents' house, it seems a bit of a waste. I contemplated one of those burlap-bulbed trees so I could replant it but even though my little Toyota Corolla can haul far more than you'd imagine, I'm not quite sure even I could figure out a way to get a Christmas tree home in my car.

So, I got a nice artificial one. The only problem was that I couldn't bear to part with my little forlorn tree. It was the first tree of my own that I ever owned. Thus, I decided to bedeck my Tuscan room with my forlorn tree and use the new one in my living room.

Friday, I put my new tree up. I drank mulled wine and watched "Elf." I baked chocolate chip chocolate cupcakes and whoopie pies for a friends' party on Saturday. It was a very festive evening and I enjoyed every minute of it. By the time I was done, my tree looked rather nice, if I do say so myself.

Saturday, I did some Christmas shopping in the morning and then came home, put up my simple outdoor decorations- just a garland and bow around my little lampost and a couple of little pre-lit porch trees. Then I put up my forlorn tree in my Tuscan room. I also frosted the cupcakes I'd made with peppermint buttercream and filled my whoopie pies with candy-cane Hershey Kiss buttercream. Then I headed to my friends birthday party.

The first sign it wasn't going to be a great success was that just as I was lifting my cake carrier that was stuffed with cupcakes off my car seat to transport them into my friends' house, the stupid lid came off. It was my fault- I should have checked to make sure it was still locked and hadn't come loose during the journey. Needless to say, I had quite a few cupcake casulties which was rather too bad because they tasted rather yummy if I do say so myself. Still, the whoopie pies were safe since I'd packed the seperately.

The second sign that it wasn't going to be a terrifically fun party for me was that I quickly realized it was going to be another Bridget Jones Night. It was small gathering in honour of my friends 45th birthday. She was doing something unique- a blind wine tasting in which she would decide the winner, no gifts but, instead, we would bring a toy to donate to Toys for Tots that would have been something our hostess would have liked as a child and a concert by a local university acapella group which my friend had 'won' in a silent charity auction.

My wine was pretty good- I know my friends' tastes which are quite similar to mine so I brought a nice Zinfandel. My toy was Scrabble- my friend loves to read and write and oddly adores English grammar.

The problem was that every single person there aside from me was married. Now, when I lived in L.A., even when I went to similar gatherings, it was ok- the 'marrieds' were independent enough that they circulated seperately from their spouses and it was just a gathering o' people. However, in the Midwest, it's a little different. Here, the spouses come as a pair. When one spouse is separated from the other and forced to talk to the lone singleton at the party, this spouse starts to panic and say things like "I wonder where John is!" Well, this would be ok if it was, say, a large house and there was a possibility of John being more than 25 feet away but in this case, my friends house is not huge and the reality was that John was 15 feet away in the next room talking to Bob whose wife is holding his arm possessively.

I know, that's a little harsh. I'm sure not every gathering in the Midwest is really like that but the few I've been too where I've been the lone singleton have been very much like that. I try very hard to be social but it's rather hard because couples seem to like to talk to other couples and discuss their children, how much they're paying the sitter and who their kids' teachers are.

Needless to say, it was a difficult evening. Fortunately, there was wine and cheese. The wine tasting went well. I came in second. I would have come in first, I suspect but the winning wine was the first one everyone tried and someone said, "Hey, wine #7 is good!" so everyone had to try wine #7 and it went fast. This meant that our hostess couldn't have a second taste of wine #7 to compare it to my wine and it won by default because it was so popular. I tried wine #7, for the record, and I found it to be a bit plummy. Also, wine #7 happened to be brought by the hostess' closest friends who'd been staying there that weekend. Yes, I probably sound bitter but three hours of standing around feeling more and more alone in a room full of smug married people made me feel a little bitter. Also, the hostess' dad asked me where 'my other half' was in reference to a former coworker I'd once showed up to a party with a few years ago. I've been to several of my friends' parties since without this coworker but he clearly thought we were a couple. I shouldn't have been surprised. An unmarried woman in the midwest in her thirties is bound to set off a few suspicions. Still, it was a bit like throwing salt in a wound by this point.

The party itself was lovely. My friend throws a good gathering. The acapella group was amazing though and it was nice to have a break from mingling to listen to some music. I was a little surprised that people were raving over my whoopie-pies which I found cloyingly sweet. They were actually fighting over the last one. Meanwhile, my lovely, hand frosted, crushed peppermint decorated cupcakes sat virtually untouched.

By the time it became safe for me to leave without being rude, I did so. It was a relief to get in my car, crank up the Tran-Siberian orchestra and drive home where I was greeted enthusiastically by my pups. It's nice to show I'm loved even if I am a pathetic singleton who apparently gives of lesbian vibes. Not that there's anything wrong with that it's just that I'm not a lesbian.

As much as I hated that it did so, my party experience made me feel a little down on Sunday. It's one thing to know I'm alone and accept it but it's another to be reminded of how alone I am at times. Still, I decided to fight off my blues by some intensive cleaning and organizing and finishing putting up the final Christmas decorations.

Now, I'm sitting inside, listening to the rain pour down, finishing some laundry and feeling sad that the weekend is already almost over. Tomorrow, it's back to work as normal. However, on the plus side, I now have the glow of the multicoloured lights of my Christmast tree when I come home in addition to my lovely pups who constantly love to show me how much I'm loved.

It's not all bad. I just need to stop going to parties where I'm the only single person. I think they're bad for me.

Happy Monday!

Longing for Some Days of Yore

There are times in life when sometimes, I wish things were a little less modern and we could go back to the way things were in earlier times.

I'm a big fan of many things in the modern world, don't get me wrong. Medicine and technology has moved us leaps and bounds ahead of where we were even a few decades ago. Modern inventions like TV and radio have given us forms of entertainment so that we never feel completely alone. In theory, transportation has made everyone reachable although flying has become far less convenient thanks to terrorism and the price of fuel.

In short, our modern world isn't bad at all. It's actually quite clever and convenient most of the times.

It's just that it moves so fast.

I watched "Meet Me in St. Louis" on Sunday for the first time. For those that haven't seen it, it's a Judy Garland musical about a family in St. Louis who may have to leave their beloved city and move to New York leaving behind boyfriends and the 1903 World's Fair.

It's a movie that's a bit silly at times as any musical is when people spontaneously break into songs that feature made up words to simply rhyme with things.

Yet it's also a sweet movie that makes you wish for simpler times in a way. There's something rather nice about watching everyone get excited about a Christmas ball. Back then, balls were a common form of entertainment. These days, if there's a ball, it's a contrived experience, manufactured to create a them instead of being a perfectly natural way to socialize.

There's something rather lovely about watching people waltz about in pretty dresses and tuxedos where finding a partner to dance with was the biggest worry.

Nowadays, we have parties and clubs. They're far less organized and structured. Parties, in my experience, usually involve a lot of standing around making awkward conversation while scoping out the h'ors d'oevres and trying to resist having another drink because you a) have to drive hom and b) don't really want another drink but it's hard to stand around at a party without a drink.

I've never been a fan of clubs. I've never been able to dress for clubbing because I'm more of a 'classical' dresser than a trendy one. Also, my form of dancing in public involves me stiffly shuffling from foot-to-foot and trying to look like I have rhythm. In private, I can be quite a wild dancer, flailing and swaying with the best of them. I look silly, I know but it's fun to 'dance it out' and let it all go. It's just that the minute I'm in public, Awkward Dancing Mode kicks in and I'm no longer able to just dance it out and, instead, become the human robot.

So, I'm all for balls. Balls involve organized dances. You don't have to shake your booty, you just need to learn the steps. Shows like Dancing with the Stars have made the dance types popular again although to me, many of them look a little too flamboyant and booty shaking to be true ballroom dances but still, I appreciate that it's not a dead form of expression.

I also liked the party scene in "Meet Me in St. Louis" where all the young folk do a rendition of "Skip to My Lou" and other popular songs and have a little organized dance. That was much easier than going to a party, standing around and contemplating if you really want one of those Pillsbury Savouring things or not because like many appetizers, they'll end up being better in theory than practice.


I used to like birthday parties when I was a kid and there were games. In England we played "Pass the Parce" which was my favourite. Basically, you take a small prize and wrap it in a bunch of layers of paper, newspaper, wrapping paper, whatever you have on hand. Everyone sits on the floor in a circle and an adult plays music on a cd player and the parcel gets passed around. Then, the music is periodically stopped and whoever is holding the parcel gets to peel off a layer of paper. If you were lucky enough to unwrap the last layer, you got to keep the prize. The best version were when there were little pieces of chocolate between each layer because that way, everyone got to have a prize of some time. There was also musical chairs, of course as well as pin the tail on the donkey.

My point being is those are my kinds of parties. I guess the grown-up equivalent is a board-game party but those tend to be more gatherings of friends who just sit around and talk and play games rather than an actual social party.

I think it would be fun to have a party where you got to dance in the way they do in movies like "Pride and Prejudice" or "Meet Me in St. Louis." They made it easier for the more socially awkward, like me. I'm ok if I know most people at a party but if I go and I know maybe one or two people, I find them tiring and slightly stressful. I've never been one to walk into a room and say, "hey, everyone, fabulous me is here! The party can begin!"

It's not just about the parties and balls, of course. It's about nifty things like having ice delivered to your house or saying hello to the milkman. It's far less socially engaging to run to Kroger and buy a bag of ice and a quart of milk than it was to know your friendly neighbourhood milkman/ice delivery person.

I'm sure that there were problems in those days. The muddy roads with horse drawn carts were probably not fun in the winter. Not having central heating was probably cold. Not being able to order supplies for a party online was probably far more time consuming than it is today.


But then again, don't you sometimes think it would be nice to live in a world where you can go out to dinner with someone and have them not check their cell phone while you're out?

I'm guilty of it too so I'm not being accusatory. It's just so easy to do and you get so much into the habit of it that manners tend to be a little secondary when you see that red light on your Blackberry blinking.

It's just that sometimes, the old fashioned way of doing things seems friendlier some how. It's nice to see people gathering at a ball or party, actually talking and working together at a dance to make it flow. Everyone had to know the dance but that was a party of society- you learned the dances at a young age.

It was a much slower world back then and as much as I appreciate the convenience and speed of our modern world, sometimes it would be nice to step back and slow down.

Just as long as it doesn't involve spontaneously breaking into song. That's one part of the old musicals I could probably live without.

Happy Tuesday!

Halloween Nights...

I'm not quite sure where the weekend yet but it seems to be Monday already. It's been a bit strange today. I woke up in my normal Monday morning stupor, wondering how it managed to be 6 a.m. already when it was just 11 p.m. and I was going just going to bed. A couple of bashes of the snooze button later and I did finally manage to crawl out of bed. As I was getting ready, I went to start the kettle boiling for my morning cup of tea and I noticed something strange: It was daylight outside.

For a moment, I was thrown. I wondered if it was possible that I'd overslept by a lot, given that it's always dark when I leave in the morning. Only after a minute of undue panic did my brain catch up: Daylight Savings Time had ended.

The ironic thing was that I had already changed all my clocks and adjusted mentally to having that blissful extra hour of sleep. It wasn't like I didn't know about the time change. I think it was more that it was a Monday morning and on Monday mornings, thinking is not my strong suit.

I managed to wake up enough to drive to work after listening to the weather. (Vague report for the day: we might have renegade rain on Wednesday. Renegade rain apparently is the same of 'impulses of rain' or the simpler version: It might, or it might not). When it's actually daylight outside, you tend to notice things that you normally ignore. For example, there is an entire row of trees that looks like they're holding their hands to the sky in exclamation with the entire middle section cut out because of power lines. Also, mangled roadkill looks far worse in the light of day, particularly when it's fresh. Also, college students still cannot cross the street without texting, in daylight or in darkness.

So, I did make it to the office. Everyone's talking about Halloween. My Halloween was pretty nice. As I said in my earlier blogs, I've never really had the option to pass out trick or treat candy before so I was prepared. I had literally over four lbs of candy. My massive bowl was overflowing. I had my awful '80's costume on, ready to go out to a party as soon as the trick or treating was done. Trick or treating was supposed to begin at 6 p.m. At 5:50 p.m., my doorbell rang. There, on my doorstep, were three little girls dressed as fairies and princesses and escorted by their parents. They were adorable, even if they were early. One of them told me how pretty I looked- considering I was wearing legwarmers, jelly bracelets, a hideous neon jacket and my hair was hairsprayed up in true '80's "Mall Hair" fashion, I fear for her sense of fashion. I was a little worried for her, actually. She was shaking a lot as she spoke, quivering, even. She actually reminded me of my parent's pet chihuahua which quivers when it gets excited. I asked if she was cold, a little concerned about her shivering. Her dad sounded a little affronted, saying, "No, she always does that when she gets excited." So, she was a lot more like the chihuahua than I originally thought. Of course, I hadn't intended to be offensive with my question: I mean the normal response to a child who is dressed in a little thin white princess dress on a chilly night who is shaking like a leaf is that she was cold.

The rest of my evening consisted of long stretches of waiting for kids to show up and, when they did, they came in droves. I confess, I was a wee bit disappointed with the costumes. Some of them had gone to some trouble but there were an awful lot that had just put on a mask. The ones I liked were the ones whose parents were waiting and who reminded their kids to say "thank you." I'm a sucker for good manners.

I was gung-ho about my candy bowl at first until I realized it was only 6:45 and it was emptying fast. I tried to hold back on giving handfuls of candy to the kids but some of them grabbed it before I could stop them. I even had one little girl who didn't even have a bag but held her hand out expectantly. I almost offered her a grocery sack but she didn't seem interested, just took her candy and scurried away.

Then, the worst happened at 7:15 p.m. I ran out of candy. All I had were starlight mints which I'd realized were not the best thing to be giving out to little kids because they're a choking hazard. I felt horrible but I had to do the unthinkable: Turn out my porch light and close my door.

Strangely, this did not discourage the next batch of kids who rang the doorbell anyway. I offered them mints and they took them. As soon as they left, I did a very bad thing: I turned off all the lights inside my house except the ones not visible from the street and pretended I wasn't home.

My lesson from this evening is that I need more than four pounds of candy. Also, kids don't like lollipops as much as chocolate. Also, kids who are unescorted by polite parents will compare what they get before they even leave your doorstep so if you give one Twizzlers and one Oreo cookies, they WILL call you on it. Personally, since I tend to think of Trick or Treating as authorized begging disguised by a costume, I think kids should be a little more grateful for whatever they get. At least I didn't give 'em the dreaded Tootsie Rolls. My coworker was telling me about a mother who actually knocked on her door last Halloween because she'd given out peanut M &M's and her child was allergic to nuts. To that I say, "SHUT UP!" If you're going to take your kid out begging for candy, even if it is in tribute to a pagan holiday of sorts, you CANNOT tell people off for giving out candy. If your kid is allergic to nuts and it's a problem if he even looks at the candy then DON'T LET HIM GO OUT ASKING FOR IT!

Anyway, after I'd hidden in my house from the packs of dressed-up kids, I headed out to a Halloween party hosted by my coworker. That was fun. She's big on the holiday so her house was decorated tastefully and cleverly. It was an '80's party. I'd gone to some trouble to procure an authentic '80's outfit with the right accessories but as soon as I got there, people said, "Who are you supposed to be?" I didn't realize I was supposed to BE someone. I said, "I'm wearing '80's stuff," I said. They looked puzzled. I finally said, "I'm a Valley Girl," to which they were like, "OH! Neat." Then they gushed over my other coworker's costume which she'd pretty much bought off the rack at a Halloween store. She was an '80's rocker. I was...an '80's person. I tried to blend in with Richard Simmons, Cyndi Lauper, Stevie Nicks (?) and Ally Sheedy as well as the Ghostbuster and Pac Man but I stood out because no one seemed to know who I was. See, my misunderstanding was that an '80's party meant dressing in '80's fashion. Alas, it was secretly a "dress as your favourite '80's person party."

I never have been good at parties. I tried to mingle but it was very couple-y. Note to the world: Couples don't like to be separated by strangers attempting to be friendly. In the end, I had a nice time but it wasn't the most social of events I've ever been to, even though I attempted to be friendly.

All in all, it was a good Halloween if not the best ever. When I got home from the party, I was relieved that my pumpkins were still glowing; I'd been afraid that my lack of candy would lead to tricks- usually they involve smashing pumpkins and such. Fortunately, the kids in the neighbourhood were nice and I appreciated that.

Now it's time to take down the Halloween decor and think about the next season that lies ahead. To me, it's Thanksgiving...to retailers, it appears to be Christmas since they've had the merchandise on display for at least 3 weeks already. I'm not ready for that yet but now that there's frost on the leftover pumpkins and turkeys in the store, Halloween is officially over. The candy is 50% off even though it's no different from the other candy that stores sell at full price. It's too bad it's a year away, maybe if I start now, I will have enough for next year. Ah well, you live, you learn, right?

Happy Monday...