Panic-Inspiring Weather Reports....

The thing with spring is that it doesn't seem to last very long. You go from winter to spring and then, suddenly, just as you're enjoying pleasant days with balmy breezes and cool nights, summer comes creeping in, far too prematurely and steals away the balm with humidity and dryness.

That's what's been happening here. For the past week, our temperatures have been in the mid to high 80's with a ton of humidity. It means that it's hot outside in the sun and with the closeness of the air, it feels even hotter. It also means that the mosquitoes are already out in full force. I'm horribly sensitive to mosquito bites. Instead of a little bump, I get a mound that sometimes swells as much as up to an inch across. That, sadly, is not an exaggeration. Last night, during my deadly nightshade genocide, I managed to accumulate no less than six bites, all now swollen and inchy. The worse thing is that I was wearing bug spray!

Still, I'm not really complaining that much. There could be worse things. Tonight, we had a major storm, probably the first really severe one we've had this year. It was the type of storm that makes you jump with the ferocity of the thunder and the lightning feels like it's coming in the windows after you.

I was afraid for the puppies just because they tend to startle at loud noises. Ironically, they didn't seem bothered by it at all. In fact, Rory went outside to find out what the noise was all about. Meanwhile, I'm in the house trying not to jump at the thunder. I like storms but I made the mistake of putting the news on. I don't think there's a quicker way to go from simple jumpiness to complete worry than watching the local weather. They interrupt regular broadcast television to bring you "Storm Event Updates". This would be fine but weatherpeople tend to be drama kings/queens. If you're feeling even the slightest bit susceptible to worry, they bring it right out of you and have you convinced that there's a tornado forming outside your window. They breed fear with their dramatic reporting of heavy rain and strong winds. Stupid me was worried we were going to have a tornado before they'd finished their reporting. I began to worry the puppies would get struck by lightning outside because the weatherman kept saying how dangerous the lightening was. Then I was afraid they might drown because we were going to have heavy flash flooding.

The moral of the story is don't listen to the weatherman. For one thing, they're never right. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I don't know how weathermen/women manage to keep their jobs when they're wrong so very often. This morning, the weatherman I watch on Fox 19 Stormtracker Weather informed us all that we might want to pack our lunches because the weather was going to be horrid around lunch with the storms.

At lunch, the sun was shining and there was blue skies overhead.

Of course, I actually don't watch the morning weather because Frank Marzullo and the Fox 19 Stormtracker Weather might actually be accurate. I've started to watch it because I enjoy the moments of obvious tension between Frank and the morning news host, Rob Williams. There have been several snarky interchanges between the two men where they obviously dislike one another immensely but cover it up with a smile and a tense laugh.

It's sad but I really enjoy those moments. It makes the news more fun. Sometimes, I wish one of them would just completely lose it but I highly doubt they will. Nevertheless, I do enjoy watching Frank get annoyed at Rob because Rob dared say something about the weather. Frank does NOT like it when Rob tries to give a weather forecast. That's when things get tense. For example, Rob said something like, "It's shaping up to be a nice weekend," and Frank's response was, "Oh, are you predicting weather now, Rob?" And then there was a very tense moment of silence when you could tell Rob was trying not to leap across the studio and strangle Frank.

Sometimes, I'd like to strangle Frank. His weather reporting isn't particularly accurate and he loosens his tie rather too much. Also, he's the one with phrases like, "impulses of rain" and "pop-up fog." Still, the annoying thing is that he's become part of my morning routine and being a creature of habit, it's not likely I'm going to start watching something else in the mornings. It's the channel that's set on my TV and at 6 a.m., I'm not exactly coherent enough to channel-surf.

Still, at least he did get it right that we'd have storms at some point today. The storm is over now and the world looks flattened and wet from my window. The humidity hasn't left which leads me to think the storms aren't finished yet. I do like a good storm.

As long as I don't watch the news while they're happening.

Happy Thursday.

Monday Morning Blahs

It's another Monday morning. It's cold outside and is apparently going to get colder this week, below zero, I think they said. A local weather channel is running a contest for "pick the date' of the first day the temperature hits zero. I think that's a little silly given that they're telling us that it's going to be Thursday. Of course, that's giving the weather forecasters a lot of credit; most of the time they're wrong, anyway.

You'd think in the age of Doppler 7000 or whatever we're up to now, the weather reports would be right more often than they're wrong but I haven't found that to be too accurate. Ok, so I know we have to allow for Mother Nature to interfere with the weather but I can't help but wonder why the weather reports are wrong so often. But that doesn't stop us from watching the weather though, does it?

Weather reports can be amusing. My parents, being in a different television broadcast area to me, have a different weather lady. She not only wears the strangest outfits but also acts like the End is Nigh when the weather threatens to do anything. The same channel also has this poor little newbie reporter who inevitably gets to stand by the side of the Interstate whenever it's snowing, freezing raining or...it's cold. She gets to tell us that....it's cold. Ok, so I know that new reporters have to pay their dues but really chances are that those of us watching the weather have figured out that it's cold outside. We really don't need a reporter to tell us something so obvious.

The other thing that makes me smile about the local weather people is that they're using a blue screen- you know that nifty screen that moves behind them as they tell us about the incoming weather? When I was in college, I took a Journalism for TV class and the first thing they taught us was that if you're using a blue screen, you shouldn't wear blue. You see, it blends into the screen. I often see local weather reporters with floating heads and such because they're wearing blue. It's actually rather amusing.

Anyway, we're not actually supposed to have any major weather over the next week so they're emphasizing the fact that it will be really cold. Yes, it's January. This is the Midwest. It's sort of expected. We really don't need to devote ten minutes telling us how cold it's going to get. This is the kind of reporting that sends the panickers to the store where there's a run on bread and milk.

I don't get that, either. Whenever bad weather looms, people run out and get bread and milk. Why? Milk usually has a shelf life of less than a week these days. Bread goes mouldy. If we're going to get snowed in, that's not really the only thing you can live on. How about some nice pop-tarts, some canned soup, some crackers? Why bread and milk?

Anyway, so it's cold outside and it's a Monday. This is a combination that adds up to the fact that I'd dearly have loved to have just stayed in bed and slept this morning. Again, what else is new? I'd love it if employers would, along with sick time and vacation, give you some "sleep in" hours. Wouldn't that be great? You get, maybe, two hours a month for that. By the end of the year, you can combine them to take one day off if you don't use them. If you do use them, you have the luxury of looking at the clock in the morning and opting to take them.

Yes, I know logistically, this would wreak havoc. Everything does, these days. Chances are, you'd still have to call your boss to tell them you were using your "sleep in" hours which would interrupt sleep. If you didn't call, it'd be hard for bosses to keep track of you. Still, the idea sounds nice, doesn't it?

I didn't sleep well this weekend. I had odd dreams. I won't bore you with the details because second-hand dreams are always a little boring when they're not your own. I did dream I was going to County Cork, Ireland. That was a weird dream because it was so specific. Maybe it was because I was at my parent's- who knows. I did manage to beat the bad weather and get there on Friday night. Unfortunately, the weather on my birthday was crappy and I didn't get to do much other than stay home and do a jigsaw. That's actually not a bad thing, necessarily. At least I was with my parents who made the most of such a horrible-weather day.

Yet now it's time for another week. I don't feel any older than I did on Friday. Nothing much has changed. My feet are as cold as they were on Friday. I have the same work to do. Life is the same as it was. I am older though. They say with age comes wisdom. I'm still waiting for that...

Happy Monday.