Buy my e-Book! (I mean, uh, Happy...Thursday!)

It's already Thursday. For those of your that didn't get Monday off, I'm sure the week feels like it's dragging. I did get Monday off and the week, so far is whizzing by.

It probably helps that I'm busy at work. I like it when that happens. At the moment, I have the type of projects that absorb me from the time I get into the office until the time I leave. It's actually fun. I get to use my brain. For me, this is a feat. I confess, until recently, I don't think I used my brain at work in quite a long time. Unless, of course, you count the effort it takes to calculate how long I have to surf until the coworker-who-can-always-see-what-I'm-doing-on-on-my-computer-when-he-turns-his-head returns from the bathroom. And yes, I admit, I do pay attention to this sort of information. When you used to have adequate time to surf the web and are now reduced to seconds, you learn when the vital moments happen. Also, you learn to surf Facebook on your phone. I have recently learned this is a wise decision; my company has just restricted access to Facebook, MySpace and Twitter.

A few months ago, I would have been outraged at this. However, MySpace is SO 2008. EVERYONE uses Facebook now, I mean, come on, MySpace, really? I have a MySpace account but I haven't used it in several months. It's all about Facebook. And Twitter?

Well, I admit, after probably what adds up to be over a year, maybe two, I still haven't, um, figured out the whole "Tweeting" thing. As someone described it to me, it's like posting a status update on Facebook for any subscriber to see. It makes sense...theoretically. However, hearing the horror stories of 'tweets' from celebrities, I just can't be bothered. At least on Facebook, I know the people who read my updates are 'friends' of some kind or another.

I suppose I should be irritated that my company has stripped yet another freedom from us. In actuality, I don't even care. If I didn't have a Blackberry, I might. After all, even if our PC's or, in the case of 99% of my coworkers, Mac's, are blocked from finding Facebook, they can't block my Blackberry. Thus, when I get into the office, I'll just hit my Facebook App's 'search for updates' option and see what my friends are up to. They can take my freedom, they can take my liberty but they can't take my cunning or covertness from me. I WILL continue to keep abreast of my friends' Facebook updates, darn it, oh yes, I will.

Yet, even with this minor distraction, I'm still keeping busy at work. I'm shocking myself with my productivity. I'm actually annoyed with myself for doing so much work. However, I will admit when I have a project that makes the day whiz by while you're trying to get it done, it makes work feel pretty decent. I won't say I LOVE my job because, well, frankly, that would be a lie. However, I can't say I don't like my job because, at the moment, that, too, would be a lie. I'm testing software at the moment. I'm being paid to try to break it. To me, that's a challenge. I hate to sound arrogant, but I think I'm pretty good at it, too. According to several of the programmers I work with, I have a 'unique' way of testing. When they say that, it has an air of disdain. To me, it has a tinge of victory. Of course I have a unique way of testing it! First of all, I remove all my intelligence and try to approach our software like I'm a newbie who has no idea what they're doing. Then I give myself a cool name like Sookie Stackhouse, Buffy Summers, Hermione Granger, Lorelie Gilmore...whatever I feel like naming myself. Then I test our software as though I'm clueless. It's a failsafe system: I end up finding the weirdest bugs that our entrenched, experienced programmers had no idea existed because they don't think about seeing the software through new eyes.

I'm not saying I'm great at my job just that I do have a unique approach: I pretend I've never seen it before. On occasion, I'm told that I'm being naive, that, chances are, the user will know what they're doing and the bug I find is minute and insignificant. To me, it's always significant. I found it, therefore someone else will.

It's my job and I don't mind it at all, as long as someone listens to me. Even if they don't, I make my point known in our staff meetings. My boss looks at me for a moment and then his eyes glaze over and I know he doesn't care why I think a bug is significant. However, to me, it is. It's a tiny thing but it means something.

The nice thing is that if I find a bug and no one acknowledges it, chances are that a client will find it a few months later. It becomes significant then and I get to play the "I told you so," card. That's a valuable asset, unto itself.

In the meantime, I continue to find creative, out-of-the-ordinary ways to test our software for bugs. It's working nicely for me, even if it means I have to use my brain.

As long as I don't use Facebook, MySpace or Twitter. Because that's forbidden.

Happy Thursday!

PS* If you do get to surf the web at work or at home or whenever, feel free to check out my first e-published novel. At the moment, you have to read it on the Amazon Kindle or the iPhone Kindle App but, shortly, it'll be available on any e-reader that's out there. It's cheap, $1.99 for an entire novel...but please feel free to help out a struggling writer....it's worth your while, I promise: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0038M2C3U

Trying to Get Beyond the Rejection Letter.

Remember how I wrote that blog a couple of days ago about the iPad? I think I might be about to become a hypocrite.

Yet, in my defense, I won't be e-reading, I'll just be e-selling.

As a writer, I've learned that trying to get a novel published is a little like stumbling out into the cold, blustery wilderness of the North pole and hoping someone rescues you. Or, more realistically, it's like being forced to watch Ice Road Truckers with your dad and knowing that it's more than likely that one of the truckers might slide out and plunge into the lake, freezing to death before they can drown.

Either way, you get the idea. Trying to break into publishing is pretty impossible.

It's hard to admit. In truth, I'm an idealist. I see the way things should be versus the way they actually are. I see the fact that I've written a light, funny, timely fictional novel that would probably not cost much to promote or produce and I think, "Why would an agent/publisher NOT want to take a chance on this?"

Yet then I get a few rejections and I realize that my idealistic approach is not going to cut it.

The thing is, I have a feeling if people could actually read my novel, The Reluctant Demon, they might enjoy it. In my horrible way of paraphrasing, it's True Blood meets Paranormal Activity (the horribly, slightly creepy movie that killed at the box office around Halloween."

In truth, it's a dark comedy with elements of horror and romance thrown in.

So far, agents feel that "it's not for them."

I wouldn't feel bad except I've now accomplished a grand total of writing nine novels. While I get that some of my novels are hard sells, there's NINE of them. Dear agents: give me a chance. I can write. I can write fast. When I write fast, I write well. In short, I might not have sparkly vampires or DaVinci type code-breaking characters but I have fun.

Yet, what I'm finding in my research is that agents recieve up to 200 queries a day. Of those 200, less than 1% is likely to get more than a kind "Thanks for submitting, good luck" email."

I appreciate the kindness. It's not quite the same as "I loved your premise, let me read more."

My bitterness is probably a little hard to hide. It's a world in which Stephanie Meyer can get an agent to pay attention to her novel because her good friend is also represented by that agent. Stephanie Meyer, gets a read. The rest of us...don't. Long story short, Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series becomes a blockbuster.

Score one for Stephanie. Score nil for the rest of us writers who don't know anyone.

So, here I sit. Nine novels later. Not having got anywhere with any one of those novels is really making me feel quite pathetic. Are they all really so bad that no agent will even look at them?

The pessimist/low self-esteem holder in me says "yes." The realist says, "But they haven't even read them!"

It's all about the query letter. Let me tell you, I've sent out a very large amount of them and nothing seems to work. I've tried funny queries, serious queries, quirky queries, attention getters. I've googled "successful query letters" and read ones that have managed to get their writers an agent. I have taken that successful query and modeled my own exactly after it.

Nothing. It's as though I'm beating my head against a wall. I think it's because you're supposed to give your writing credentials, what experience do I have? The sad fact of the matter is that I don't have much. I have nine novels. If I tell them that, I feel like they're going to chuck the letter aside and say, "nine novels, no agent/publisher? Obviously SHE sucks."

No, I don't think I do. It's just I can't get an agent to read my novel. You can't get published without an agent. You can't get an agent without being published. Catch-22.

In all honesty, as a writer, I don't want to get published for money. All I really want is someont to read my book, enjoy it and pass the word. I want people to enjoy my fiction, it doesn't have to change the world. It just has to take the readers out of it for a little while.

I used to think I needed an agent to do this. Today, however, a simple suggestion from a coworker has me thinking. I'm thinking trying out my novel in an e-book format might be worth looking into to see if it's for me.

I did look into it. You know what? The Kindle publishing industry is doing well. Apparently, if you publish your books for a low price, people will read it. They might not like it but they WILL read it.

With The Kindle as well as the Barnes and Noble Nook, my book will be displayed in a highly readable format, making it simple to publish to the Kindle as well as the Nook.

Ironically, agents say that if its on the Nook/Kindle/Sony e-reader, it's out of their hands. They can't represent an author who has been published, even if it is on The Nook.

To this, I say, poo-ey. As 'an author', I know whatever I've written might be bad. It might imply that I can't 'get' an agent.

Sadly, that seems to be true. I can't get an agent. They just don't want to take a risk on new, unpublished writers who aren't guaranteed success.

Agents/publishers are shy. They're really looking for that one author who can quickly sell them a half a billions' worth of stuff. They're not looking for a someone who cares enough to publish a few sample chapters. They want someone who can produce.

So, I think this Kindle thing might be worth looking into. Take the power from the agents and try it myself. I think that many of the agents' protestations about e-books are out of fear: If we can publish ourselves, why do we need them?

I don't know what people are reading. I don't know if my work will do well with e-readers. I only hope people are looking for something new and different. I'd like to think that I'm new and different. If not, well, I hope that people try to enjoy my book anyway. It's intended to be funny and quirky. Enough said.

What I do hope is that they enjoy my book, that they enjoy my characters and storyline. I have a feeling they will

In my wildest glass-half-full moments, I would love to publish on the Kindle and find that an agent is waiting there, in the wings, to snap me up.

The realist in me knows I'll be lucky if you make a penny.


Still...I havthink I'll give it a go.

Happy Thursday!