Some Days Are Just Not My Days...

Today was one of those days again where I woke up and needed at least another hour of sleep. This is my own fault for staying up too late. The problem with reading instead of watching TV in the evenings is that with TV, there’s usually a set schedule and when the program is done, you turn off the TV. When you’re reading, it’s so easy to talk yourself into “just one more chapter” that another hour can pass before you realize it.

This is why I’m crotchety today. I stayed up too late reading and then had trouble sleeping for no apparent reason.

When I got to work, I realized I was not in a good mood when I got an email from one of my coworkers with a resume she’d found on Monster.com and a subject line of “CALL NOW!!!!!!!!”. As soon as I saw the email come in, I had an uncontrolled burst of irritation and I was annoyed.

The reason I was annoyed is that this coworker isn’t a recruiter like me. She’s an account manager. This means it’s her job to bring in jobs for us to fill and the recruiters will fill them. She still likes to recruit though and it’s a compulsion of hers to go on Monster first thing in the morning and find new resumes. Most mornings, it irritates me a little but I don’t let it bother me because that’s what she does. Today, it irritated me because I was already grouchy. The major problem I have with it is that Monster.com is one of my resources and I have my own system of finding resumes. Half the time she sends me resumes, they’re people I’ve already called and talked to or I haven’t been able to get hold of them. The other half are for jobs we have open that I’m not really working on and the emailed resume serves as a distraction because I’m in the middle of doing something else.

Still, most days, as I said, I can live with it because it’s just what she does.

The rest of my morning, I felt tired and useless. I’m having another one of those periods at work where I’m just not getting anywhere. Even when I find good people for jobs, the companies either move too slowly and my candidate takes another job or there’s something that the company doesn’t like and my candidate doesn’t get the job. Mostly, it’s just part of the package of being a recruiter. Yet there are some days where it just makes you feel beaten down because there’s no real positives happening.

By lunch time, I was hoping for a break to revive a little. It didn’t help that my left eyelid was twitching all morning which, according to Google, is a sign either of allergies or tiredness. Since it only twitches when I’m already stuffy and watery-eyed from allergies and I’d run out of Claritin, I figured that, at least, was something I could take care of to make the afternoon better.

So, I decided to stop at CVS on the way home to buy some Claritin. Because I find that the stuff you can buy off the shelf doesn’t really do anything, I had to go to the pharmacy for the ‘controlled substance’ version with the pseudoepinephrine (sp?) in it. No problem. I got my little cardboard picture of the medicine and took it to the pharmacy county. I handed them my driver’s license with my normal flush of resentment towards the crystal meth makers of the world for making hayfever make me look like a druggie. The pharmacist took my license, swiped it and…it froze. I stood there for ten minutes while she and the other pharmacists tried to get their computer working but, in the end, they couldn’t and I left empty-handed having killed 15 minutes of my lunch hour waiting in line in addition to actually driving to CVS. Irritated, I headed home to let the dogs out. Naturally, at the place where I turn into my neighbourhood, there was a utility truck and the road was closed so I had to go all the way around.

When I did get home, I greeted the pups, let them out and started to make a quick plate of salad for lunch. Then I heard a peculiar sound- it sounded like something heavy fell over followed by a high pitch whine of what sounded like pain.

I abandoned my salad-making and went outside, worried one of the girls had hurt herself. Instead, I was greeted by a small brown rabbit that ran right by my feet, pursued by two avid dachshunds.

The rabbit ran, the dogs followed. Around and around the garden they went. They were whining with their ‘need’ to catch the bunny and the poor creature, no matter how hard it tried, could not find its way out of my fence because of the security measures I’d taken to keep Rory in.

The bunny kept running, throwing itself at the chain link fence to try to find a way out. Seconds later, the dogs caught up and the bunny ran again. Given that it was so hot outside, I was getting worried that the dogs would get overheated but they obviously didn’t share the same concern.

Finally, just as I was about to open one of the back gates to try to shoo the rabbit out, it found a small gap under the fence and ran for its life across Possibly-Joe’s garden.

My dogs proceeded to try to follow it. I checked to make sure that the fence was secure. It seemed to be but the problem with dachshunds is that they’re obsessive. They won’t stop until they find a way out if pursuit of a small furry creature is possible.

Thus, though I brought the girls inside, they insisted on going back out and since they had to do their business still, I let them. This meant I spent the time I was eating worrying about if they’d find their way out. Needless to say, it was not relaxing.

So, when I went back to work this afternoon, I still was not in the best of moods. The afternoon didn’t get any better as my coworker delivered the news that one of my most solid candidates did not get the job for which she was literally quite perfect.

By the time I’d left, I wrote the day off as being ‘just one of those days.’ I’ve had a few of those lately and I need to do something about it.

I think I’ll start by getting more sleep. Even if tomorrow is bad, it’s easier to face if your brain isn’t fuzzy and, well, you have to start somewhere.

Happy Thursday. Thanks for reading!

Beautiful Weather, Mundane Days...

Today was one of those sort-of-nothing days where not much of any significance happened at all. I was woken early to the wonderful sound of Dog Whisperer’s Beasts barking themselves into a frenzy very close to my bedroom window. They like to stand at the gate and bark. My window is probably six feet from the gate. Thus, when they bark and I’m trying to sleep, it’s frustrating. Even Rory had a good moan about it. My pups used to sit upright when they’d hear the yapping. Now, like me, they grumble and try to shut it out so we can sleep longer. I find that amusing.

When we did finally get up, it was to a day at work that was busy but not terribly productive, if that makes sense. I’m trying hard to fill jobs but the ones we have are the hard ones that no one in Cincinnati has been able to fill. I did manage to get two interviews set up for candidates but since it’s for the same job, it really only counts as one since only one of them can get the job.

I also did lose a candidate who my account manager and I have been working very hard to make happy. He got an offer from our client which was a very good offer. Unfortunately, he had another job offer- ironically from my old company- for a lot less money.

For some reason, he decided to reject our offer and take the one with my old company. I’m sure something about it appealed more but, well, I can’t help but think he’s making a bit of a mistake. It’s not just about the money. When we met with him, he told us he was looking for a position where he could move up, learn new technologies and rise in his career. I don’t think that’s possible at my old company, honestly.

Still, it’s his choice. I didn’t tell him that in my soon-to-be-published novel, Emmy goes to Hell, there’s a whole level of Hell dedicated to my old job. Maybe I should have done. Still, he made his choice and as frustrating as it is, there’s nothing I can do about it.

Aside from that, my day was rather dull. I had another candidate come in who’s been out of work for a while. He actually lives in my neighbourhood and the dogs and I walk by his house on our sojourns fairly regularly. He was very nice but a little odd. Still, at the very least, it was nice to meet another neighbour.

All-in-all, it wasn’t the most exciting day on the planet. My boss is out of the office. This, of course, means that Mr. Lazy Account Manager in our office left at 1 p.m. Today, he had a stomach ache. Last week, he left each day by 3 p.m. One day, he had to pick up his kids, another day, one was sick, another day, he had to go help his wife, another day, he had a meeting. He’s very good with excuses. He only does it when my boss isn’t around. Also, since he tells our administrator his reason for leaving, it’s oddly different from what he tells the rest of us. While I think it’s nice to get out of the office early once in a while, he’s got to the point where everyone knows he’s just not doing any work. Well, everyone except my boss and I have a feeling that, thanks to my endearingly interfering coworker, he’ll know very soon.

Fortunately, it’s a beautiful day outdoors which redeems the somewhat dull indoor day. On days like this where it’s in the mid 70 degree range, my favourite thing to do is sit outside and either read or, as I’m currently doing, edit the proof copy of Emmy Goes To Hell. I got it back from the publisher last week and while I like the cover, there was still quite a lot of edits to make inside. It’s nice to sit outside with a cold drink, my book and my pen. Usually, I have a Sookie trying to sit on my lap which not only makes it a little hard to edit but, also, makes her sister rather jealous and having two dogs on my lap is just downright uncomfortable. I don’t have that much lap.

The trouble with the evenings is that they go so fast. By the time I get home, walk the pups and make dinner, the evening is waning away. I probably could cut down on the time I spend making dinner but where’s the fun in that?

On the plus side, after a slightly dull day at work, it’s a sheer pleasure to sit outside and relax with the pups milling around my feet. Except for the barks of the Beasts next door, it’s a peaceful thing to do. While I still hate their incessant yapping, I’ve got to the point where I can literally ignore it when I’m outside. It’s all I can do.

Besides, it’s an even nicer pleasure when they finally go inside and, suddenly, there’s a blissful silence.

That makes it almost worthwhile.

Happy Wednesday!

Up and Down Sort of Days

Some days are harder to blog than others. I can’t explain why but it just happens. It’s not that I can’t find anything to ramble about, it’s just that every time I start to ramble, I suddenly feel like it’s an asinine topic and no one will want to read it.

Today is one of those days. It’s been a weird day. It has been an up-and-down day at work. In our morning meeting, our boss, away in Chicago at the moment, attended via phone. We have a couple of new jobs to fill and so, during our morning meeting, I got to select which ones I’d work on while my fellow recruiter, who was out of the office, would get his assignments later. My boss is a little worried we’re not getting many candidates to fill jobs lately so he was in his most extreme, “work hard, get candidates” mood.

This would have been fine except what we’re working on at the moment is very hard. They’re the type of jobs where there’s maybe 5 or 6 people in a city who can do the job. I spent all morning trying to fill a job because my boss said I needed to have at least one candidate by tomorrow. Taking him seriously, I did absolutely everything I could to find someone…and still had no luck.

Then, my fellow recruiter comes into the office, gets his assignments and…manages to find a candidate for the job I’ve been trying to fill all morning. This is annoying by itself but given that he wasn’t even supposed to be working on it, I was a little frustrated. Our office is generally not competitive so I don’t begrudge him filling the job and not me. It’s just that he has this horrible habit of pretty much doing what he wants despite what he’s supposed to be working on and this happens quite a lot.

My boss doesn’t mind who gets the candidates, as long as someone does. Thus, I can work on my fellow recruiters’ jobs too and fill those. It’s just that…I don’t. I think it goes back to the fact that I have a touch of the Hermione Granger in me. I always worried about breaking school rules as a child and I always saw the teachers as points of authority. As I got older, even if I didn’t like my boss, I’ve always respected that they were, in fact, my boss and even if I thought them the worlds’ biggest idiot, I still did what I was told because that was my job.

This job is no different. It’s just that in this case, I like my boss and, again, like Hermione Granger, I want to be top of the class to prove that I’m good at my job.

It just doesn’t always happen that way. My fellow recruiter is not a rule-follower. He doesn’t have to be because he’s been working as a recruiter for 17 years. I, on the other hand, am now approaching my 8-month mark and I still feel as though I’m learning.

On the plus side, I did manage to find out that one of my favourite current candidates was offered a position for which I submitted her. This is a good thing on many levels. Mostly, I’m just happy because I really like her and she’s been a pleasure to work with. Also, she really, really wanted the job and even postponed another offer to see if this one would pan out. I like it when someone gets a job when they really want it. As an added bonus for me, it’s a new company which means I get a little boost in my commission at the end of the year. I really do count that as a bonus because as corny and altruistic as it sounds, I really do like my job because I get to help people more than I like it for the money.

I don’t think all recruiters have this approach. It’s probably not a good thing I do have that approach because it means I’ll never be as successful as some of the other recruiters in the field. I met one of them the other day. He’s just been hired by one of our branch offices and he was in town to do some training with my boss. All of the staff of our office had to meet with him and talk about how we did our jobs.

It became quite apparent about five minutes after meeting with him that I did not like this man. For one thing, every time I started to talk, he’d bulldoze over me with a story of how successful he’d been in his past job and how fabulous he’d be working for us. He really is quite fabulous according to himself. Also, it sounds rather rude but he was just…creepy. He had a bit of an air of “hey, little girl…do you want some candy?” if you know what I mean. By the time he left my office, I was very relieved and also quite glad he wasn’t going to be working in our office permanently.

It turns out that all my coworkers had the same impression. The younger account manager even got the same pediophilic vibe from him that I’d had so it wasn’t just me. He was just unpleasant. It didn’t help that he told me lots of stories about as a recruiter, you have to show your candidates who’s boss and if they didn’t like it then tough, he didn’t want to work with them.

That is not the attitude I have. To me, being a recruiter is a partnership. There is no boss. Sure, the candidate will end up working for our company in due time if they’re successful but as far as the job interview process goes, there are no absolutes. If they hear the description of a job during an interview and it turns out to be double the amount of work that we were originally told, they have every right to think they should probably get paid a little more than we’d initially agreed. It doesn’t mean they will get paid more but it’s not unreasonable to try. According to Mr. Slimeball’s philosophy, “They’ll get paid what I want to pay them and that’s all there is to it.”

So, you can see why he rubbed me the wrong way. That’s not my approach. While I’m not a doormat who does whatever my candidates want, I do try to listen to their needs and try and approach them in a way that works out best for all. I don’t like to bully them. I’m a firm believer in the fact that when working with humans, for better or for worse, it’s best to let them act like a human. It comes back to haunt you later on if you don’t. It’s best to build a relationship with someone rather than treat them like a commission check. That’s my philosophy, anyway.

It might be a childish, inexperienced philosophy but, for now, it’s working for me. It means I can be excited to call my candidate and be happy to hear the joy in her voice when I tell her she got the job. She earned it and I’m glad that she was rewarded for her efforts. So, even on days when things don’t go quite my way in other areas, there are these moments that make it worthwhile.

It’s nice to have a job where no two days are the same even when the days don’t always go completely your way.

Best of all, even if you have a string of days like that, there’s always a weekend at the end of the tunnel. I, for one, am looking forward to the weekend even if it does involve tiling a floor and most likely very little else.

Thanks, as always for reading and I hope your weekend is a good one!

Happy Friday.

Sticky Weather...Bad Moods

I hate it when I wake up in a bad mood. It never bodes well for the day.

It was one of those hot, sticky nights we usually don’t get until July or August. Even though I caved at put the air conditioning on for a couple of hours in the evening, the house quickly got hot and neither I nor the pups slept very well. We tried sleeping with the windows open but Sookie, ever alert, woke up at the sound of any abnormal noise on the street outside and it was hard to get back into a slumber.

It didn’t help that I had one of those dreams that felt like a movie and I was disturbed when I woke up. I don’t remember the details but had something to do with a secret government facility that kept and raised children in captivity to see what would happen if they were trained from birth to do specific functions like eat stones and things. They would torture the captives by blasting some type of evangelist sermon. There was some man who found the secret facility under the ground and he ended up breaking in and rescuing one of the captives. The rest wanted to stay so they stayed. The head of the evil operation was Laura Innes who is the actress on that show, “The Event” who’s an alien. She was also on ER as a cranky doctor.

Anyway, so you can see why sleeping wasn’t very relaxing. When I woke up, I had a headache and just generally felt tired.

The headache went away but I felt like the whole day passed in some kind of haze. I was yawny and my head felt swimmy.

The humidity outside doesn’t help, either. It just adds to the sluggishness.

As a result, I passed the day quietly in my office, getting work done but not joining in the social camaraderie of my coworkers. As a result, they all wanted to know if I was ok. This is very thoughtful of them but it’s hard to explain that some days, you just feel like being solitary and not being social.

It wasn’t a terribly social day in the office anyway. We have some days, particularly when the boss isn’t in, where we’re horrible about working and at any given time, we gather and start talking and laughing about something.

Today wasn’t one of those days though some of us did have a wee bit of gossip via email about our newest employee who doesn’t seem particularly fond of working. The thing is, when he does work, he’s very good at it. He’s got one of those ‘salesman’ personalities where he can sound like an expert even when he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

It’s just that he doesn’t really work that much. He manages to find reasons to not be in the office- he has appointments that no one can really confirm but no one can really disprove either. He has a lot of sick children. Well, actually, I think he has two children but they’re sick a lot. His wife is also sick a lot. He goes home sick a lot.

When he is at work, he can often be found watching television on his phone. This is what we were e-gossiping about today. I had noticed he was doing this last week and my fellow recruiter didn’t believe me. Today, my fellow recruiter saw our naughty employee watching TV. Now he believes me.

I’m wondering how long our lazy employee will be around. He’s not doing too badly but he’s also obviously not nearly as motivated as the rest of us. I think he likes having a job. I just don’t think he likes the work part of it much.

This was pretty much the only discussable thing in the office all day. Thus, it wasn’t just a slow day for me, it seemed.

The rest of the week is supposed to be hot and muggy. I’m not happy about this. I like spring. So far, spring has been very, very, very wet. Now it’s very, very hot and very, very muggy.

Even when I took the normally enthusiastic pups for a walk, it was clear I wasn't the only lethargic, sluggish one. We cut our walk short because Rory started sitting down in protest every few steps. Then, when Sookie started to join in, I realized it would be easier to go home. It wasn't just us, either. One of my neighbours was walking his beagle across the street from where I stood, trying to persuade the girls to get moving. The beagle decided simply to lie down in the middle of the pavement. The man tried very hard to get the dog to stand up but the beagle was not having it and it simply just lay there, looking up at his master, panting. His owner did finally get him to stand up but it clearly took effort. I tried not to smile but it was comforting to know that the heat was affecting everyone.

I want a few more weeks of spring before we’re sweating every time we move. Now that the ground is finally drying up, it’d be nice to get outside and pull some of the weeds before the heat becomes too much to bear.

According to Mr. Weatherman, it’s supposed to cool down for the weekend. It’s also supposed to rain, alas.

So, it seems my weeds may grow bigger, the ground may stay soggy and I must find things to do indoors. Fortunately, I really need to do some shopping this weekend- I pulled out my summer wardrobe last night and I realized that most of my clothes are at least 5 years old. I could really use some replenishment. Most of my clothes still fit thanks to the fact I was determined to lose some weight but they’re also faded and worn.

There…that helped. The thought of shopping definitely can help take away a bad mood. Perhaps if I get a good night’s sleep, tomorrow will be better.

Here’s hoping there’s no more government experiements in my dreams.

Happy Thursday!

What is Normal, Anyway?

Today, my coworker said to me, “but you seemed so normal when you first started working here.”

This is not the first time I have heard this phrase. Nor, I’m afraid, will it be the last. This is not to say that I consider myself ‘not normal’ but, it seems, by the standards of others, I am a little…odd. I don’t consider myself odd. It’s hard to do that when the things you do every day seem normal to you.

I mean, look at the film, “Elf.” Buddy the Elf thinks it’s perfectly normal to put sugar on spaghetti, talk to raccoons and wear an elf costume. In his world, this is all normal behavior. It’s only when he goes out into the wider world that he realizes this is not what everyone else does and so he’s considered to be…odd.

Not that I’m comparing myself to Buddy the Elf. It’s just to illustrate the point that what might seem odd to others can seem perfectly normal to you. Normal is a very relative concept. In my case, what seems normal to me is watching the Top Chef: All Stars finale with a strong sense of anticipation. My very favourite cheftestant, Richard Blais, was in the final two. I have liked Richard since he was on Top Chef in Season 5. I think he’s an amazing chef who has an amazing sense of creativity. I’d never cook the way he does but I think some of his ideas are absolutely brilliant.

Anyway, (sorry if you haven’t seen it yet), long story short, Richard won. Naturally, I was very excited. I was so excited that I shouted “YAY! RICHARD WON” very loud at the TV. This proceeded to wake Sookie and Rory quite abruptly. After they got over their initial befuddled alarm as to why their mummy was shouting, they started to respond to my “YAY”’s with their own brand of excitement. It turned into a small, celebratory dance party with no music. This is quite normal for us. The pups and I often have dance parties. Sookie isn’t much of a dancer unless I pick her up and twirl her around the room. Rory, on the other hand, likes to jump up and down with me and keep up with my very uncoordinated but very enthusiastic dance moves. Sookie generally watches the two of us with a slight air of disdain. Although it might be confusion. Sometimes it's hard to tell.

Apparently, doggie dance parties aren’t that normal. I found this out today when my coworker asked if my “Top Chef” favourite won. I told her how excited I was for him and then told her about the dance party. This is how she came to say that somewhat familiar phrase of “but you seemed so normal when you started working here.” Keep in mind that this comes on top of my rather idiotically telling her a few days ago that one of the dogs and my favourite new games is “Throw the Rock into the Sewer Drain to Hear it Splash.” Apparently this is not normal either. How would I know? It’s what Rory, Sookie and I do on our lunch break now. It’s normal to us.

I probably don’t help my own case. I’m the twit who wonders aloud if you can eat Canadian geese and if they’d taste more like duck or goose when we pass by a flock on the way to an office lunch. It’s been ongoing since I started. It usually happens at all of my jobs. I start out being the proper British girl (or woman, I suppose I am now). Then, slowly, as my coworkers get to know me and I start to relax around them, I forget to act like a proper British woman and…I act like me.

It’s not that I’m not proper. Sometimes, I’m a little too proper. I can’t get used to my coworker putting chewing gum on the back of his hand when we go out to lunch nor can I get used to discussing bodily functions with my coworkers. However, I have also been known to be caught singing rather loudly in my office without realizing I’m actually doing it. This is not good especially when I’ve been singing the same line from one song over and over because it’s stuck in my head. I also like to bop my bobblehead of Ben Linus from Lost on the head so it bobbles and then cascade into a peal of giggles because he looks so funny.

You get the idea. As I said, normal is relative. I don’t think of my behavior as particularly odd until I get either an “ohhhkaaaay” from my coworkers or, worse, “The Look,” which, all at once, lets me know that I’ve made the mistake of letting people know too much of what goes on in my head and I should probably have kept my mouth closed.

Still, I suppose with this job, I should be pleased. It’s taken me six months before my coworker considers me weird. I think that may actually be a bit of a record. I’d like to think this is because I have an office and it’s a lot easier to ‘hide’ in an office. When you sit in a cubicle, it’s much harder to have chair boogies, sing-a-longs with myself and bobblehead moments without someone seeing you and giving you The Look or, worse, saying “What are you doing?” and being forced to realize that a) not only have you been spotted in a quite private moment but b) the tone of voice is conveying that it’s a weird thing to be doing and they’re a little concerned.

The nice thing about this job is that everyone’s a little weird so I don’t get judged. In my last job, office politics were horrible. It was the type of environment where if someone screwed up or did something ‘different,’ it would inspire gathered whisperings in offices, odd looks thrown and conversations with coworkers where they used that overly friendly tone associated with TV characters who are trying to calm down a person holding a gun.

Certainly, this sounds dramatic but, well, that’s how it was or, at least, how it felt. I might have imagined the tone of voice and maybe the looks but the whispered gatherings were real. The funny part is that there were some very loud whisperers and it was pretty obvious when they were gossiping and even what they were saying. That’s why it’s nice to work in my current office. If coworkers think I’m doing something weird or I say something weird, it’s greeted with a, “you’re very strange,” or “WHY on EARTH would you think about eating a Canadian goose?” I like that. It’s very refreshing to have upfront honesty like that even if it does make me question whether or not I’m normal.

Besides, as I said earlier, what is normal, anyway? Exactly. There’s no such thing. It’s all relative. I like my ‘abnormal’ world. It seems perfectly normal to me and that’s what counts, right?

Happy Friday!

Bad Moods are All Relative

There are some days you don’t realize you’ve woken up in a bad mood until the day is halfway done. For me, I woke up a little groggy this morning and proceeded to pass the morning at work in true groggy fashion: By drinking a lot of coffee and keeping quiet in my office.

It was only at lunch time that I realized I wasn’t in the mood to speak with people when I had a candidate call to ask about a job posting I had on Monster.com and I wanted to ask her if she could read because all of her questions were clearly answered by reading my posting.

This is not a good sign. Normally, I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and assume there’s a reason they’re asking questions that should be obvious. I did not snap or bark at my candidate, however. I merely politely answered her questions through a veiled layer of irritation.
Then, I also realized that I was in a bad mood when I was driving home for lunch and I was feeling grumpy because I was hot. Given that it’s March in the Midwest, I should be thankful that it’s hot rather than freezing cold. It’s supposed to snow on Thursday. It’s currently 73 degrees outside. I believe I have mentioned the schizophrenic nature of the Midwestern spring. It makes it awfully hard to know how to dress, I have to admit.

Still, I managed to get through the day without being rude to anyway. The pups helped cheer me up. Sookie has taken to not only greeting me at the door at lunch time but also after she’s done her business outside, running back in to say hello again. It’s very sweet and makes me feel very loved. Rory, unfortunately, is still obsessed with the storm drain in the garden and this seems to obsess her as soon as she gets outside. Today, I spent five minutes throwing rocks down there so she could hear them “splash.” Unfortunately, for some reason, this sent her into a slightly mad bout of whining and running frantically around as if she just had to get into the drain for whatever reason. I’m still baffled as to why she likes the drain so much but I’m hoping she gets bored with it eventually.

Besides, her distraction is Sookie’s advantage. Sookie is fully aware that Rory is too busy to spend much time with me and thus, The Sook, as she is often referred to by me, takes full advantage of being able to get petted and cuddled by me.

It really is amazing how much a happy dog can cheer me up. Even though I still wasn’t in the best of moods this afternoon, I no longer felt like throwing something at anyone.

Also, I realized that I couldn’t have been in that bad of a mood anyway. I realized this when my coworker came in, picked up my stress ball from my old job which has a bamboo skewer embedded in it and asked me why I had a skewer stuck in the ball. My explanation was that if he looked, he’d see an eyeball drawn on the ball and the skewer was stuck in this eyeball. This, I explained, was how I dealt with the fact that I really couldn’t stab my ex-boss in the eyeball with a skewer and so when I felt the urge to, in fact, stab him in the eyeball, I stuck it in the stress ball instead.

This caused my coworker to put the ball down calmly, say “Oh,” and move out of my office. I realized after how violent that sounded but given how much I disliked my old job and the fact that my boss was very passive-aggressive and ineffectual, it made sense.

Still, violent tendency or not, it was nice to realize that even though I’d been in a bad mood this morning, I’d never once had the urge to stab anyone in my office in the eyeball with a skewer, pencil or other uncomfortable object.

This means that my bad mood was not that bad. Also, working in a place that doesn’t incite you to have violent, bloody or mean thoughts towards your coworkers definitely scales down the bad mood a bit in the first place.

I don’t think I’ve smiled maniacally once at my current boss in the six months I’ve been at this company. I’ve never pictured strangling him with a yoga strap and I’ve never wanted to throw something at my coworker’s head. I’ve said it again and I’ll say it before, I can’t tell you how grateful I am that I found a different job.

My stress ball has never been happier. I should probably take the skewer out of its handdrawn eyeball but it is a nice reminder of how far I’ve come.

Also, it reminds me that even on a day when I’m in a bad mood, things could always be much, much worse and that thought alone is enough to put me in a better mood.

Happy Wednesday!

Variety is the Spice of Life

It’s nice to work in a busy office building where our office isn’t the only one there.

My old job was in an office park that was, at the time, being refurbished to bring in new tenants. We rarely ventured into the other buildings except for the time we went to scope out the koi pond/Japanese style water-garden in the atrium of one of the buildings that our CEO felt was very necessary to entice tenants. Personally, I thought the whole atrium smelled like fish and not the good and yummy grilled-with-lemon-and-rosemary type of fish smell but, rather, the type of smell that comes from having a badly ventilated area with a fish pond in it. It was not pleasant.

Anyway, that was as much interaction as we had with other companies there. That is to say…none. It was pretty boring to see only the people you had to work with every day without the hope of running into anyone interesting that I didn’t know. There was hope at times. Our CEO also thought that clearing the area around a forgotten pond that was attached to the office park would make it a very social area while also making it appealing to would-be tenants. Of course, the reality of that was that the pond was unearthed for a while but lack of maintenance made the walking path around in impassable after a few months. Also, said pond was really just a rather large, muddy body of water. There was a little deck built to extend over it but only in the spring/fall was it appealing to stand on because otherwise you’d a) be bitten to within an inch of your life by hungry mosquitoes that used the pond as their spawning ground or b) be subjected to the smell of the pond which was not terribly pleasant.

I’m not bitter about it. The money for these renovations came from a different budget than that which funded my old company. It just seemed as though this money could have been put to better use. It was the same budget that funded the building we moved into that hosted The Most Optimistic Bathroom in the World and forbade us to complain about anything in this ‘perfect’ building for fear of getting fired.

It’s just nice to work in a building in which you don’t feel it necessary to occasionally drop to your knees in front of the CEO, splay on the floor and say “Thank you, oh Spanky for this beautiful building!”

Instead, I get to go to work in a building that has a bathroom that’s unadorned by anything. We can get things fixed by simply calling down to the property management office without feeling ike we might in trouble because it might be considered a ‘complaint.’

Also, it’s just nice to be in a place where I don’t know everyone in my building.

This makes life interesting. Sadly, book lady was fired from her job so I haven’t seen her in a while. Apparently, she was not the most pleasant HR lady in the world and was relieved of her position. I wish her well and hope she finds a new job where she has no pesky stairs to have to navigate while reading. At least now I don’t have to worry about her falling.

Our office is actually on a floor that has two other companies on it. It’s quite nice because one of the companies is large and there’s a plethora of people to watch. Also, our branch administrator knows everyone so all I have to do is say “who’s that?” and I can get a short biography of them.

What’s nice is that the office across from us is IT related and there are a nice lot of men who work there. This may not sound like a big deal but as a Singleton who’s been working in an office where the only men are the ones you work with and there’s no one particularly eligible or interesting, this is a very big deal.

It’s not that I’m expecting to meet Mr. Right but it’s just nice to look if that makes sense. The fact that our branch administrator is also a single woman makes it more fun because we can have little sessions where we just watch to see who passes by the clear glass doors of our office and wait for the elevator which, conveniently, is located right outside our office door.

It just makes the day more interesting. I’ve learned that the older gentlemen who dresses well is actually British and he flies home to the UK every other week to see his family who still live there. I’ve learned that the crabby little man who I see often and who always buttons his coat wrong is actually a developer that my old company interviewed for a job but didn’t hire him. I’ve learned that Book lady was actually Bad HR Lady who treated everyone rudely, smoked like a chimney and read her book so she didn’t have to acknowledge anyone. This is ironic for a human resources person, I find.

I’ve learned that the company next to us does market research and occasionally they get samples of products they don’t want so they give them to us. We currently have a large supply of off-brand mayonnaise in the office that has been here a while because no one wants it.

In short, it’s fun to work in my building. It’s as unpredictable as my work day- I never know how busy I’ll be when I walk in the door. I like life like this- it’s fun to be completely swamped on day and then have a day where the phone is quiet, no one returns email and I have to find new resources to find resumes.

It’s as unpredictable as the conversations we have in our office and the impromptu gatherings we have at the front desk in which we find something to Google or in which we take a brief Cosmo quiz.

It just makes life fun when it’s not the same old thing every day. I kind of love that.

Happy Thursday!

Playing "Office"...

When I was a child, one of my favourite games to play was "Office." My dad had this old, old computer from work. It was before the days of quick loading computer software, USB's and flash drives. It didn't have a mouse. It was an all in one machine that didn't have an operating system. What it had was its own special language and nothing but green text on the screen. I was too young to know what it really did but I did manage to make up games on it. I'd sit and turn it on, typing away as if I was actually doing something. Nothing every happened except I made it beep. Yet, I had a fine old time typing and pretending I was in my very own office.

Other times, I'd sit at my desk in my room and pretend I was sitting in an office, my pens ready to go. I had a child's typewriter and I would type Very Important Things on it. It was one of the old school typewriters, no correction tape and an old ribbon that would dry up if you didn't ink it.

Office was one of my favourite games to play by myself. I think I attempted to solicit other players but it was hard to get anyone interested in writing letters and things.

You might wonder why I'm telling you about yet more of my rather odd childhood games. The reason is that, today, at my new job, I managed to finally accomplish that which I'd only pretended to have as a child: I have my own office.

It really isn't the first office I've had. When I was a legal secretary, I had an office but it wasn't really mine. It was a room they stuck me in and I was across the hall from our grumpy office manager who could watch my every move. When I was in my international market research job, I had an office but, again, this was just a room they put me in and we had to swap constantly. It wasn't really mine.

The office today is mine. I'm finally in a job where I don't have to be administrative support as I have in the past. I don't have to type memos for anyone. I'm in my very own office doing my very own job. I have my own supplies and even have the freedom to order more supplies if I'm lacking anything. I have a new computer with the newest versions of Windows and Microsoft Office on it. I can close my door. I can decorate my office.

It's an exciting thing. I think if I hadn't been so...deprived in my last job, it probably wouldn't seem like such a big thing. However, when you used to have to take whatever office supplies were available or bring in your own and you didn't get new software, even when you needed it....it's the small things that make a new job all the better.

Better yet, I'm getting training.

(Private aside to one of my readers, known as Raindancer...YES, Raindancer, there IS such thing as training in a job! It is not a myth! It exists. I am living proof that it is possible!)

This, again, may not seem that unusual but...it actually is compared to my last couple of jobs. There was no training in those except to possible read a handbook. In this job, I'm sitting down with my boss and learning things.

It's exciting. I won't lie and say it was a perfect day. First days are always awkward. It's a strain to have to keep taking in the new information and to get to know the coworkers who have been working together for years. Yet, they all seem so nice. I'm a bit alarmed by that. It's a bit like the first time I went to Chick-Fil-A. That is the first fast restaurant where everyone in there was happy, genuinely friendly and seemed to like their job. I thought it was creepy at first, being used to the typical fast food experience of having someone take your order without making eye contact and being as slow and unfriendly as possible. Then I realized that it was a good thing. I like going to Chick-Fil-A.

My office is a bit like Chick-Fil-A. My coworkers have been there for years. They like their jobs, the office and one another. They're willing to share knowledge without trying to steal credit for each other's work. They don't gather in each others' offices, close the door and whisper.

It's a change and a welcome one. While my first day was exhausting, I'm pretty sure I'm going to like it a lot.

If you've ever seen the movie, "Working Girl," there's a scene at the end of the movie where Melanie Griffith's character gets a promotion. She goes in and sits down at the secretary's desk only to discover that it's not her desk, she actually has earned an office.

Today, I felt like that. I felt the inner child in me rejoice at the actual realization of what used to be my imagination.

And, this time, I didn't just randomly hit buttons on a computer and pretend to do something. I actually hit real keys and did something. Also, I have a mouse and the screen isn't just green text.

I've come a long way, baby.

Happy Tuesday!

Hot Days and Swimming Pools....

Short weeks at work are nice. It means that today is the middle of the week instead of only being Tuesday. It's shaping up to be one of those weeks where I just feel frustrated with my job and am starting to get the itch to look elsewhere again.

It's not that I don't like the work. I'm just frustrated with the politics. No matter what I do or what I say, I end up playing second fiddle to my coworker who seems to be able to do no wrong.

She mostly doesn't do wrong although she's a little bored at work at the moment. Thus, she goes to 'talk business' with her friends and disappears for hour-long stretches at a time. My boss doesn't notice. I know that sometimes she does talk shop but, mostly, she disappears and starts whispering with one of her friends.

I hate whispering in the office. I think it's quite unnecessary. There are enough locations throughout where people can go inside, shut the door and talk properly. Whispering incites gossip and I get fed up with that.

Still, it's not all bad. I've been busy lately which has made the days go fast. Also, it's been so hot outside that going to the office isn't so bad. It's very cool in our building on hot days where the heat index is above 100 degrees, it's nice to be in the air-conditioning, looking out on the hazy day.

It's so hot out there that it feels as there's no air moving at all. It feels like a classic summer day where all you want to do is lie on a raft in a swimming pool and float the day away. I've done that before and it's one of the pure joys of hot days. You lie on the raft, listening to the gentle lap of the water as it brushes the sides of the pool and the edges of the raft. Chances are, you got in the pool to get on the raft and so your swimsuit is wet and the last drips are evaporating on your skin. You start to get warm as you dry, the hot sun beating down on you and, just when it gets to be so hot that you're going to start sweating...plop! You roll into the pool and begin the whole process again.

When I was younger, my parents got us one of those inexpensive above-ground pools. It was somewhat flimsier than the more 'permanent' models but it held water and was deep enough for us to float. My younger brother and I were the primary users of the pool, playing and floating on a Little Mermaid raft that provided endless hours of amusement. Summers later, the pool began to leak and we got rid of it.

Sometimes, I think it would be nice to have one of those pools in my back yard now I have one of my own. Unfortunately, my back yard isn't nearly as big as my parents' and a pool would take up most of the grass. Also, I'm afraid if I did get one, the summer's day peace would be interrupted by the yapping of the Dog Whisperer's beasts.

The closest pool is just down the street at the community center. It requires a membership to use and, given that it's summer, its primary users are children. This means that it would be hard to peacefully float on a raft because if there's even enough room for a raft, it would probably be jostled and splashed by kids doing cannonballs and learning to swim.

The best floating I ever did was at a spa in California with one of my best friends. It's a wonderful place, that spa. You pay an entrance fee and you have access to their multiple pools which include saltwater, sulfer, hot springs and other spa-oriented pools and you can also get a mud treatment. My friend and I floated for hours in the pool that allows rafts, slowly getting punchier and sillier as we floated and we relaxed more than more. That was a hot summer day where it felt good to get wet and let the sun dry away the water.

Since I don't have a pool now, I can only close my eyes and imagine I'm floating. The closest I've come is accidentally soaking myself with the hose while trying to screw it to the tap a little tighter. The cold water felt good on my skin, even though it soaked my clothes. I let myself dry in the sun and the sensation was very nice and cooling. It's not a pool but it did the trick.

Sometimes, we just have to improvise. Especially on hot summer days.

Happy Thursday and stay cool!

"Woe is Me" types of days....

My bad mood never quite left yesterday. By the time I actually went home, I was almost ready to scream from frustration. It was just one of those days in which I couldn't get much done. One of my coworkers kept talking. Then she talked more. Then she talked even more. It's hard to focus when there's that much jabbering happening. My meeting was fun and exciting. And yes, that is sarcasm. I couldn't even get any good doodling done as I was expected to participate in the discussion.

But the day did finally end, thankfully. Today is a new day. It's supposed to be sunny and warm and I'm hoping that my mood remains non-bad.

I think today was really just one of those days where you discover that just getting out of bed was a bad idea. Nothing terribly bad happened, just little tiny things. It was the kind of day in which cars pulled out in front of me without seeing me coming and I had to slam on my brakes. I didn't hit anyone, fortunately. It was the kind of day in which I brought spicy roasted pepper soup to work which made my nose run and I ran out of tissues. It was the kind of day in which I spilled my soup in my lunchbag and it smelled like cold soup for the rest of the day. It was the kind of day in which, as I was making chicken Florentine for dinner, I managed to drop my entire Sodium Chloride Containment Unit (i.e. a fancy little salt seller with a lift up lid courtesy of Mr. Alton Brown's "Good Eats") into my spinach and onto my cooktop. I managed to rinse off most of the salt from the spinach but I had a mess on the cooktop to clean up. It doesn't help that while I'm not generally superstitious, spilling salt and thinking it's bad luck is one of the superstitions I do tend to follow. The chicken Florentine turned out pretty tasty but the spinach was oversalted. If I were on "Top Chef," I'd probably have been in the bottom three.

Ah well, as I said, today is a new day. Also, I'm not competing on a reality cooking show so salt disasters only affect me and I'm not being judged. These are things I'm using to think positive. A good friend reminded me last night that no matter how miserable my job, it's not who I am.

Sometimes I need that reminder. Lately, at work, I've been feeling like the invisible employee. I shouldn't complain; I'm earning a paycheck, am able to pay my mortgage and can manage my own projects at work. In some ways, it's a dream job. I'm just not sure it's my dream job. In fact, I know it isn't. In my year at this company, I've sort of been left to my own devices and everything I know, I've had to teach myself. I don't usually mind because I am a self-starter. It's just that I wasn't really hired as a self-starter and often, it results in vague comments that imply I need to be doing something else except...there's no follow-up.

I was at my parent's house last Friday. They watch Medium on CBS. I never watch it when I'm home but it's a watchable show and don't mind catching it with my parents. The main male character on the show is hired for a job in which he thinks he's going to be able to contribute, to work on things he loves. He discovers that the owner of the company is a control freak who only works by himself, he only hires people because he has to use a percentage of his budget on employees, not because he needs them. Thus, the employee is told he gets to sit there all day, work on whatever he likes or not even work...he'll still get paid. He just won't be doing anything for the company who's paying him.

At first, I thought this sounded like a dream job. I mean, who wouldn't like to show up at an office, pick up a nice check and do whatever he liked all day long? Then I thought about it. Technically, I could use the time to write novels. Except...I realized, that's not how I like to write. Assuming I'd applied for the job in the first place, the company would be doing something that had interested me. Knowing I was getting paid to NOT work for the company would probably drive me potty after a while. I have a work ethic issue, you see. I tend to think if I'm earning a check, I should be doing something.

I am doing something for my company. I'm just not sure they know what it is. Even if they do, it'd be nice if someone would tell me how I was doing. I've been told that if they don't complain, assume I'm doing fine. That's nice and everything but I'm a creature who likes feedback, especially if I've been working on something I'm unsure is useful in the first place.

Ah well. I'm lucky to have good friends in my life. They're good for reminding me that I'm not invisible. They're also good at pointing out obvious things that I tend to forget when I'm having a "Woe is Me" type of day. For example, I was reminded last night that while I might not have a career with a point A to point B path- i.e. Nursing leads to being a nurse, Medical School leads to being a doctor or something similar...I am a writer and just because I'm not getting paid for it yet doesn't mean it's not worthwhile.

I hate that I need that reminder and yet I'm very grateful for it. Isn't it strange how easy it is to fall into a pattern of negative thinking? I know that's a bad habit of mine but sometimes it's hard to stop.

I'm determined to stop it this time. I can't look at the bad in my life and not see the good. Besides, one of my cubicle-mates is in early and she's muttered, "shit, shit, shit!" under her breath a few times already. That's never a good sign.

Also, I have chocolate eyeballs on my desk. While this might disgust many a person, I personally find them intriguing. Halloween candy is rather fun. Last week, I ate a zombie-finger made out of chocolate and crispy things. I also had a zombie toe. I like the eyeballs. When someone is looking at me and talking, I hold my chocolate eyeballs up and make it look like they're staring. People find it disconcerting. I find it entertaining.

It's the small things, no matter how juvenile, that make an otherwise dull day more fun.

I also have a mini pumpkin on my desk that someone gave me. I'm thinking of giving him a face with my Sharpie marker. I did think about carving him but I know that would make a mess and, also, I lack sharp objects with which I could carve.

Oh, there goes my coworker again with her swearing under her breath. Generally, this is a result of things that do not go exactly her way. She "shit, shit, shit!"'s for everything from a typing error to a full-blown Microsoft crash. You never can tell.

Yes, she's not having a good day. She has my sympathies. I'd give her a chocolate eyeball but she doesn't eat chocolate. Also, she prefers not to eat eyeballs.

She's a little strange.

Thanks for reading.

Happy Wednesday.

Potluck Day in the Office...

It's the day before a holiday today and we're having a potluck for lunch. Over the years, I have learned to embrace the potluck. This may sound like an easy thing to do but as a former picky eater and a person who is apprehensive about 'eating other people's food,' I had a bit of a worry about potlucks.

I know. I sound rude when I say that I didn't like to eat 'other people's food.' . I'm talking about those random coworkers/people who you don't know who bring in dishes to potlucks that, well, frankly look...a little scary. I'm also talking about people I do know whose kitchens I have seen and have been scared to enter. For example, I knew a woman who loved to bake. She also loved her cats. She would keep the litter box in the kitchen. She only cleaned it once a week so, inevitably the kitchen smelled very bad. I did attempt to eat her baked goods since she was a friend and, sadly, I got a mouthful of cat hair as did several of my other friends. Needless to say, I learned my lesson.

There was also another former coworker of mine whose food I learned to avoid. She was one of the people who just attracted disaster, no matter what it was. She would drop things on the floor and quickly shovel it back into the bowl. I saw her doing this once. I also heard stories about a time before I began to work with her in which she brought turkey for a Thanksgiving themed potluck. She apparently dropped the turkey onto her lap where it rolled down her substantial thighs and then proceeded to scoop it up and serve it.

So, you see, my fears about other people's food aren't too unfounded. As I said, if I know the person, I know they're sanitary and hygenic, I will at least attempt to try their offering unless I find that it is something I simply don't like. Potato salad, for example. I just can't get behind cold potatoes with mayonnaise or mustard. I also don't like those mixed together things like seven-layer dip. I tend to like my food...simple, no mixing.

Still, as I said, over the years, I have become more open-minded. I try new things now as long as I can identify all of the ingredients in them or at least the visible ones. That way, I'm not taken surprise when I bite into a plate of coleslaw and find that someone's secret ingredient is raisins. I love raisins. I enjoy coleslaw, as long as it's not sweet. I just don't like raisins in my coleslaw though, ironically, in my first home economics class in England, we made coleslaw...with raisins.

The one thing I enjoy about potlucks is that it's a good way to enjoy home made cuisine with a regional flair. For example, the potlucks I had in L.A. were always heavy on the salads along with Mexican-type dishes and fancy desserts. Somoene would always bring in El Pollo Loco chicken, a California/Western U.S. restaurant which specializes in juicy seasoned grilled chicken. It was a diverse group of people and they brought a diverse offering of foods.

In the Midwest, potlucks are quite different. They're much more 'homemade'. I used to shy away from some of the dishes such as smoky links in barbecue sauce, simmered in the crockpot. Then I tried them and, unhealthy as they are, they're horribly tasty. The same goes for the buffalo chicken dip someone always brings. Someone always brings chili in, also but as a non-chili lover, I usually shy away from those. Crockpots are a much bigger deal in the Midwest and when we have an office potluck, there's usually a fight to try to find an outlet into which the crockpot must be plugged. The food is...heavier. I hate to support a stereotype but in my experience, the Midwest, at least this corner with its Germanic influence, likes their food hearty, tasty and nurturing. People are getting better, using turkey instead of beef, using low-fat ingredients but the truth is...that just doesn't taste the same. In L.A. there was always some healthy person who made sure that there was healthy options.

I'm not complaining though. There's no better way to get a feel for an area of the country than to go to a potluck. For example, while I tried cerviche for the first time at an L.A. potluck, here in Ohio, I tried strawberry pretzel cake which sounds revolting but actually tastes quite nice. I was shocked, to be honest. In my mind, strawberries and pretzels don't go together but...they did. Yes...I found that weird too.

Normally, for potlucks, I like to bring in something I know will taste good to others. Sausage rolls are a popular option; they're relatively easy to make and everyone likes them. Today's is supposed to be Independence Day-y, sort of a summer celebration. Someone's bringing hotdogs, someone else pasta salad....everything falls neatly into the summer picnic category.

For me, since I'm in the process of moving and my apartment is sort of in an upheaval, I asked the potluck coordinator what to bring. With a look of glee, the coordinator told me to bring in...Smoky sausages in barbecue sauce in the crockpot.

How Midwestern for me.

Happy Thursday.

When I am Perky, I Frighten People....

I sit in an office area in which there are three cubicles, all in a row. One end of the cubicle row faces into the hallway. The other end, my cubicle, in fact, faces a space at the bottom of the staircase. Each end of the cubicle row has a door that could, in fact, close, shutting out the hallway and the space at the bottom of the stairs. However, if the doors were closed, the area would instantly lose its openness and begin to feel like we were trapped in a box.

So, we keep the doors open. Since I am at the bottom of the stairs, I have learned to recognize the sound of who is coming down. For example, my boss is instantly recognizable by his loud clomping that actaully shakes some of the pictures on the wall. He has a heavy tread, that one. Some of the technical staff also have heavy treads but they are decipherable by the speed in which they come down. The sound of slow, steady high heels means a specific female coworker is coming down; she moves slowly in case her backless shoes slip off her feet.

We get a lot of traffic on those stairs. Our break area is just around the corner from where we sit and so in the mornings, a steady flow of coworkers comes down to see if there's any coffee made. As the bottom-of-the-stair sitter, and the first person in my area in the office, I am often the recipient of the coffee in the bottom of the pot. It's rather a luxury, actually, even if the coffee isn't exactly Starbucks level. I get served, waitress style, by whichever coworker wants to make a new pot of coffee. They want an empty pot, you see, and they don't want to dump it down the sink. I suppose if I look at it another way, I'm the equivelent of a garbage disposal.

Which, actually, is probably rather true if you ask my family. I hate to see food go to waste and when I'm at my mum and dad's, I usually have the treat of a delicious Sunday lunch. I'm usually the last one eating, picking slowly at the leftover potatoes, or finishing the enormous bowl of salad.

Anyway, aside from being the dumping grounds for leftover coffee, I also get to hear conversations, all day. Mostly they're very social, catching up from the weekend, discussing the latest weight-loss scheme, babies, husbands...all of the normal stuff you get in an office. We don't have a watercooler but we have a fridge, a sink and a coffeepot. Here is the social hub of the office.

Of course, when I and my two coworkers are trying to concentrate, it gets to be a bit distracting. Most of the time, I just pop on my iPod but occasionally, it gets to the point where we tend to just look at each other and roll our eyes. Days like this, it's hard to get as much work done. Yet we try. For better or for worse, we try.

We have a couple of new people in our office. One is the CEO who lives above me. The other is our new HR-type person. They both are very perky people. I am not a very perky person. As I've mentioned, when I am perky, people around me tend to check to see how much coffee I've been drinking or if I've been exposed to high-sugar content. Extreme perkiness gives me goosebumps and not in a good way. I just don't really know how to be perky without frightening people. If I try it and I say "Good Morning!" very brightly, people get this wary look in their eyes and begin to back away slowly. I can tell I've scared them because they won't make direct eye-contact. Those who know me well will say, "Uh-uh, what's wrong?" even when I'm just trying to be friendly.

This leads me to believe that I was not born to be perky. I was born to be the person in the corner who observes, listens, makes mental notes and occasionally interjects something mildly dry-humoured bordering on sarcasm. I do have days where I am a little chipper but it manifests itself in ways in which...I tend to worry people. When I'm happy with something, I say "Party in my Pocket!" Usually, this leads to a discussion on whether I'm being crude. I am not. I just like to say "Party in my Pocket" because it sounds funny. I picture a party in my coat pocket, if you have to know. I think it started when I kept a small stuffed meerkat (Timon from the Lion King- free with a Happy Meal years ago) in my pocket and I pictured him gathering friends to have a party. Yet, if I tell people this, I get that look, the one that says, "Oh dear, Sam's gone mental." When, really, I haven't. I mean, that's how I always think.

I'm not trying to be weird or funny, it just happens. It's the curse of having an imagination. Yesterday, my friend who is having construction done on her house told me that they were putting a hole in the roof. I started to wonder why. First, I thought, maybe they were putting a chimney in. Then I wondered if maybe it was a skylight which naturally made me think of a crazy person climbing onto the roof and staring down at the inhabitants of the house. Finally, I thought how cool it would be if they put one of those air-tubey things in the house like they have at drive-through banks; you know, you put your deposit in the tube, it sucks it up with a "Thwupp!" sound and then moments later, it's in the bank teller's hands. I love those; they're like high-tech banking at its finest.

Then, once I came up with the air-tube-in-the-house idea, I began to think what my friend my use it for. Notes to her mother was the most obvious reason since she'd be living in the back part of the house, her mother in the front. Then, naturally, I started to think of little baby chickens with helmets on, harnessed for safety, going for rides in the tube. No chickens would be harmed in the usage of the air tube.

My friend, being the great sport she is, discussed this with me, pointing out the flaws in my plan. Finally, the discussion digressed into whether it was ok to deep-fry baby chicks and eat them on a stick. I think that's a horrible, cruel thing to do and would never endorse it, just for the record.

I'm telling you all this because that was a normal, chipper, perky conversation for me. It took less than ten minutes to have this conversation over email. I'm glad it was with my friend who knows me because if it was a discussion I had with my coworkers, they probably would have stopped when I said "air tube thingy". Actually, they might have been alarmed when I started talking about the skylight and the person staring down. It's hard to say.

So, you see, although I am exposed to perkiness and trying to smile through it instead of mentally choking the person, I simply am no good at being perky. Chances are, I've probably alarmed you with oversharing how my mind works. I promise, I wouldn't really hurt those chickens. Really.

Oh, and by the way, the hole in the house was for some mundane purpose like a support column or something. I prefer my chicken-in-an-air-tube theory, personally.

Please don't be scared away.

Happy Tuesday.