Monday, Monday....

I think I have a psychological aversion to Mondays. Every week, I bemoan them and complain about them because they always end up being very Mondaylike.

This week, I decided to not be so negative about Monday and, instead, approach it like any other day. I’d had a long weekend so there was no reason that my Monday should have to be, well, a Monday.

Unfortunately, it seems that even when I try, Monday wins. It’s not like anything bad happened or I have any reason to not be happy today but something about the day tends to make everything just seem….blah.

I woke up from a very comfortable sleep. I had a puppy cuddled under one arm, teddy-bear style and the other snuggled up beside me on top of the covers. I was actually surprised to discover that Rory was my teddy-bear because normally, that’s Sookie’s position. This might have explained why when I finally opened my eyes, I saw Sookie staring at me with betrayal in her eyes. She doesn’t like it when Rory gets cuddled and she doesn’t and Rory’s side of the bed was NOT the side that Rory was sleeping on this morning. It didn’t help that Rory, who tends to be rather a vocal dog, did her best Moaning Myrtle this morning. Moaning Myrtle is what I call her when she starts grumbling. She has a habit of making a groaning noise in her throat whenever she’s perturbed. Based on the rather loud, rather frequent grumblings this morning, she was quite perturbed to get up.

Needless to say, beginning the day with one grumbling, perturbed dog and another that’s sulky because she wasn’t getting her normal cuddle d was not a good sign.

Still, I tried to be positive when I got to work. I reminded myself that not only do I like my job but I also like my boss and my coworkers and those are good things indeed.

Yet, somehow, even though the day was busier than it has been in a while, the Mondays still managed to seep in. No matter how much I tried to fight it, I just felt….blah.

The blahs are no fun. They’re different from the ‘crabbies’ because I’m not crotchety or cranky. Instead, I just feel…quiet. I don’t feel like chatting to people and I don’t feel like doing very much of anything. I just feel like staying in my own world and doing my own thing.

They generally happen on a Monday. The weekend has passed and the workweek lies ahead. I don’t have any plans for the evenings or the weekend. I just feel, well…blah.

I’m sure there are cures for the blahs but I find that if I just wait, they pass quite easily on their own. Sometimes the blahs stick around and these are generally when I feel rather lonely and that my life is pretty boring. My life isn’t exactly a thrill-a-minute. It probably could be but I’ve found that I’m not a terribly thrilling person.

Most of the time, I don’t mind that my life is quiet. The loneliness is usually helped by having two dogs around. It’s amazing how much company two canines can be. I do wish that occasionally they could carry on a conversation with me but, at the same time, we have the most comfortable silences ever.

There are times when I do feel lonely and that I probably should do something about it. I’m not even talking about male companionship though sometimes that might be nice. More than anything, I’d like to find some more friends.

The thing is, that’s quite hard when you’re an adult. Through the school/college years, you’re surrounded by a group of peers that you see often. Thus, it’s natural and easy to make friends. As an adult when you spend most of your time at work, it gets harder. Certainly, there’s nothing wrong with being friends with coworkers. Some of my closest friends are former coworkers. However, it would be nice to be able to make other friends who I don’t see every single day at the office.

I know there are ways. I could join…something- a book group, a gym, a class…something. Yet it’s hard to break into an inner circle. I’ve never known how you find a book club. I’m not terribly good at going to the gym regularly. I could take a class in something but, well, I don’t particularly want too much of an academic commitment when I’m trying to start a new novel. I could try a church group but, as an outsider, it’s intimidating to try to find a church and immediately belong. Also, I’m not particularly good at being a regular churchgoer so I’d feel a bit hypocritical. It sounds weird but it’s the truth.

I have excuses for everything, I know. And it’s not like I don’t have friends. It’s just my friends are…not here in Cincinnati. They’re all over the place but not within the distance where I could say, “Hey, want to come over and have a “Gilmore Girls” marathon with me?” or invite over for dinner because I’m making extra.

I think it might be easier for parents. They have children who make friends. Thus, the parents generally start to get to know one another and friendships are born or they have activities that their children share. Singlefolk like me have a harder time.

I just don’t know how to go out to make friends anymore. I think I’ve lost the knack. Whatever I do will probably mean going outside my comfort zone but where to start is always the biggest question. If anyone has any suggestions, I’d love to hear from you.

Still, it’s not like I’m hurting for friends, as I said. I’m lucky enough to have several very good friends with whom I can discuss everything from sex, fitness and nutrition and the benefits of owning a fish spatula. If I had no friends, I’d be worried that I was a pariah but I know this is not the case. I’m just feeling a little clueless and fish-out-of-water-y at the moment. It’s probably just the blahs from which I’m suffering and for which I’m blaming the very presence of Monday.

I’m quite sure that the blahs will drift away as soon as the week begins to move forward towards the weekend. When even your dogs seem to know it’s a Monday, that doesn’t bode well to begin with, even when you intend to approach the day with positivity.

Still, there’s always tomorrow. Let positivity abound!

Happy Tuesday!

Dreary Weather Mondays...

Is it redundant to say that today was another True Monday? I say that every week but today, it was especially true. I woke up to the sound of pouring rain. It was dark outside whereas even at our early 6:03 a.m. wake-up time, it's usually starting to get light by now. The puppies needed to go out and let me know quite clearly that there would be no laying in for me today. After we'd taken our morning jaunt outside in the wet yard, they decided they wanted to go back to bed. I would have loved to have given in to them and climbed back into my toasty nest but, alas, my precious PTO is low at work and I couldn't justify it.

I was the first one in the office. It was deadly silent when I went into Cubicle Land. They've taken to turning off the air conditioning/heat at night and so the absence of the hum made it seem even quieter.

Everyone seemed to be getting a late start today as I remained the only one in the office for at least 20 minutes longer. Even though I take in a travel mug of tea each morning, I like to get the coffee rolling for those who aren't as caffeine-prepared in the mornings as I am. However, today, I went to make coffee and discovered that only the decaf pot remained. Someone had taken the regular coffee. Not sure whether it was intention, I decided not to make coffee until the pot returned. Normally, someone removes it over a weekend to run vinegar through it- our water in this area is the type that creates a lot of build-up over time and makes us have to clean the coffee pot to make it drip more quickly.

Anyway, it turned out that there was some kind of disaster with the coffee pot and it was NOT coming back so someone braver than me decided to confiscate the decaf pot and convert it to the True Ways of Coffee. We no longer have a decaf pot, at least for the time being. We only have two decaf drinkers in the office most days anyway. Besides if they really want their decaf, they can always confiscate the hot water coffee pot. Yes, we have a hot water coffee pot for the tea drinkers. Of course, it doesn't really boil the water but it gets it hot. We also have a water cooler that dispenses boiling hot water and there's no waiting for it to heat up. So, you can see why I found it a little strange that the decaf drinkers got bumped but, well, office politics are everywhere, even with the priority of the hot-beverage drinkers.

The rain stopped but the whole day passed in a dreary fog. I had a chat with my boss on Friday and felt quite good about telling him in a polite way that I felt like Harry Potter. Today, however, I was back to being Harry Potter which, while not unexpected, was slightly disappointing. The project I'm working on is currently at a standstill because it just won't run through the database. I've tried all the fixes I know how to apply and nothing is working. I know it's not me. My boss thinks it's me. Thus, when I ask him for assistance, he dismisses me with one of those vague, 'try this' solutions that I've already tried and when I ask him for help, he forgets I asked five minutes later.

Still, I have other work to do in the meantime. It's just not the type of work that makes you want to sit up, punch the air and say "YAY! TODAY I GET TO TRY TO TRANSLATE TECHNICAL JARGON INTO ENGLISH AGAIN! HURRAH!"

I've been working on this project for a while. It's not moving very quickly. It's necessary but boring. It's not a good 'rainy Monday' project either so you can imagine that by 4:15 p.m., I was ready to come home to the puppies.

They seem to be in crabby moods too. Rory keeps biting at my feet. Sookie keeps following me, giving me sad, sulky looks. They both want to sit on my lap and then, when they do, decide they want to get off again and start squabbling.

Still, now we're home and the only thing to do on an evening like this is to sit down and let the day pass quietly while watching some Jack Bauer. He puts it all into perspective, really: A rainy, dreary Monday is hardly a bad day when you're dealing with terrorists or nuclear bombs or betraying women or crazy women or women you have to shoot or best friends who betray you to the the-almost death....you get the idea. So, really, this day hasn't been so bad. It's just been a bad mood day.

Tomorrow is Tuesday. I hope it either rains or is sunny. I hate this dreary, nothing type of weather that won't really do anything except hang around, not making up its mind if it wants to rain or clear up. However, even if it is like this tomorrow, at least it's not a Monday. Something about that makes the day already better. I wonder why that is.

Happy Tuesday!