Flying Economy: The New Steerage

So, I have once again decided that I dislike flying. This is nothing new. I’ve blogged about it before. In my novel, Emmy Goes to Hell, I set the entry method to get to Hell at an airport for a reason. I’ve been back from my trip for about 5 days now yet still I’m slightly irked about the steady decline of airline service since I first flew in the 1980’s.

Back then, flying was a treat. It was something exotic. For a kid like me, it was an adventure. They would give out free alcohol to the adults. There were a lot of snacks. The food, never great, was decent and there was a fair amount of it. Airline stewards and stewardesses treated you as though you were a human being. Luggage was something that you could bring and check in and forget about. There was room to sit in a seat with enough space to reach forward and shove something under the seat.

Cut to now. I know airlines have huge budget issues. I know they take huge losses every year. It still doesn’t make it easier to fly and feel a little like you’re a member of a cattle herd.

When I flew to the UK, I had a coach seat because, well, I’m a normal human who simply can’t afford to fly First Class. In the olden days (even up to five years ago), Coach and Economy were the same thing.

Nowadays, there’s not just Economy and Economy Plus. Yes, even the bottom dwellers can get kicked lower.

If you’ve ever seen Titanic you may remember the difference in treatment between the First Class travelers and those in steerage. In between, there were the ordinary people who didn’t have luxury cabins but also weren’t down with the rats in steerage either. Until recently, flying Economy was more like being in this middle section- it was definitely not luxurious but it was functional.

Things have changed now. Steerage class is back. There may not be any rats unless you count the fact that you often feel like you’re treated a bit like one. Economy is the new steerage.

Let me explain. Somewhere in the midst of the airlines starting to struggle for revenue, some bright soul took a look at the layout of the seats in Economy and decided that people did not, in fact, need much legroom and thus added several more rows of seats. This resulted in a traveling experience that made you feel like a sardine. There is little room to lean forward and put your carry-on under the seat without accidentally whacking your heard on the seat in front of you. Merely crossing your legs becomes a bit difficult and I don’t even have very big legs. Bringing down the tray table for an average-sized person is ok- it rests just short of actually hitting you in the abdomen. For larger folks, it often rests on the abdomen.

And then there’s the issue of the reclining seats. Somewhere in this brainchild of taking away the leg-room, they decided that reclining seats should stay. Thus, when the person in front of you reclines their seat, there goes what little room you had left. Even if you put the tray table back up, getting out of your seat to go to the bathroom is rather a difficult thing. There is simply not enough room to squeeze between your seat and the recliner in front of you without feeling like you’re breaking out of a pod of some kind. I was going to use a birthing analogy but decided that would be a little disgusting.

As if this is not humiliating enough, when you get on a plane, they make it perfectly clear that steerage folk (i.e. Economy travelers) are absolutely forbidden to use the bathrooms set aside for the Business Travelers AND the First Class travelers. You must use the bathrooms delegated to your ‘class.’ It’s bad enough that to get to the steerage seats, you have to walk through the cabins of the elite. You see those individual, spaced out little pods where the First Class traveler can fly in comfort, drinking free champagne and getting better food. Even the Business Class is far above steerage- spacy, comfortable seats that provide privacy and comfort. And free champagne.

I’ve never understood that, honestly. Steerage folk can’t even buy champagne on a plane. It’s not offered. We get the choice of red or white wine or a bottle of beer for $7 each. Newsflash: For the most part, those people in First Class are either rich, didn’t pay for their ticket or travel so often they get upgraded and thus, didn’t pay for the upgrade. They can afford to buy the bloody champagne and wine they’re given for free. Also, in their little Pods o’ Flying Comfort, they don’t really need the added tranquilizer for an overnight flight because THEY ARE COMFORTABLE.

Meanwhile, back in steerage, trying to sleep is rather difficult due to the reclined chair in front of you, the fact that you pretty much have to sit with your arms pinned to your sides so you don’t accidentally invade your fellow steerage passenger’s space. Seriously, try sitting with your elbows out a little- you end up bumping your next-door neighbour on one side and, if you’re on the aisle, getting in the way of the drink cart.

To add insult to injury, as I mentioned before, they’ve added Economy Plus. Yes, for a mere $100+, you, too, can buy a little extra space in which you might actually get to put your legs out and have them be semi-straight.

That’s all you get for your $100- the extra leg room. Thus, by First Class standards, it’s still steerage. However, to the Economy Plus traveller, it still affords a little superiority over the less fortunate in Economy who are currently sitting with their knees by their ears, trying to figure out why their video screen keeps going black.

After flying to the UK in an Economy seat, I came to the conclusion that it was one step away from being strapped in the cargo hold as luggage. It’s not that much less comfortable, I’m sure. Sometimes when I was doing aerobic contortions trying to get my bag from under the seat while the person in front of me had reclined and the attendants forgot to pick up the rubbish from our dinner plates, I thought longingly of the days when there was space to do that without pulling a muscle. I couldn’t really sleep because I was so uncomfortable- a glass of wine usually helps but at $7 a glass, it’s a little steep.

So, even though I was furious about having to do so, I paid for the Economy Plus seat on the way back. Since my ticket was paid for by my company in the first place, it was a little easier. Sadly, it was worth it. While I didn’t get a free drink and was delegated to going all the way to the back of the plane to use the bathroom, being able to sit somewhat comfortably was worth it.

I resent having to pay $100 for the freedom to cross and uncross my legs but, sadly, I can see why people do it. Also, I felt like I could look back at the lower class in plain old Economy and gloat.

Until I remember that they were probably $100 richer than me because they hadn’t caved to the Lure of Economy Plus.

I’m a sucker…what can I say. I’m a willing victim of the airlines’ attempt to exort every last dollar out of me merely because I wanted to land in Chicago without feeling like I was a cro-magnon cavewoman, bent over and never able to stand up straight again.

I’d love to hope that some day airline travel will be a luxurious experience again but I’m a realist: I say let’s be glad that we can still go to the bathroom on the plane without depositing a coin and that we aren’t put in the cargo hold because the way things are going, it’s only a matter of time.

Also, they still give you some semblance of free food on those international flights. Note: ALWAYS go with the pasta. It may taste like Chef Boyardee but it’s still better than black, gelatinous beef and dried, blobby chicken.

I suppose, for now, we should be thankful for what we have. Us steerage folks may as well appreciate the small perks such as having a seat at all and being fed and watered. It would be nicer if we weren’t herded through the upper class cabins like cattle, shuffling as we avoid getting whacked in the head by someone shoving their luggage in the overhead while watching them calmly and serenely settle into their individual chairs, drinking free champagne and clearly ready for comfort. When we finally reach the Economy Plus section and realize, sadly, that even that isn’t where we belong, it’s just plain pathetic.

Unless, of course, you pay the $100. Then you belong.

Otherwise…you’re just steerage. Ah well, at least there are no rats.

Happy Friday!

The Nuisance of Airlines

It’s never easy to book a flight. I think airlines do it on purpose. On one hand, it’s nice that these days anyone can book a flight themselves with a credit card and access to the internet. Of course, it’s not good for the travel agents who have gone out of business because of this newfangled technology but for the rest of us, it’s nice.

For me, when I’m planning a trip for pleasure, part of the fun is the research. Once you make up your mind to go somewhere, checking out flights and prices becomes part of your daily routine. When you get the right deal, you book. It’s that easy.

Except…it’s never that easy, is it? In my case, my friend Saz and I have decided to go to New York this year. Before I moved to Los Angeles, Saz and I used to take trips to New York together in the spring and sometimes to L.A. in the Fall. Then I moved and life and finances got in the way. Now, we’ve decided it’s time to go back and celebrate our friendship in style.

So, I’ve been looking for plane tickets. There are some good deals available at the moment. The problem is, they’re not exactly what I’m looking for. Ideally, I’d like to fly from the airport near my parents’ house- Fort Wayne, Indiana. This means I could drop off the pups, stay overnight and then head out in the morning. Then when I fly home, I can pick up the pups and then head home with them. However, because they live near a smaller airport, not a major metropolitan one, this means flights are a lot more expensive.

This is not a surprise. It’s a common fact that major airport hubs have more options and therefore ticket prices to and from them are less expensive.

What is a surprise is that if I do fly Fort Wayne, I connect through Cincinnati.
Not so odd? Well, I live in Cincinnati.

So, naturally, my thinking is, “well, if it’s X dollars to fly from Fort Wayne through Cincy, it will be less to fly direct from Cincy…right? Because, clearly, there is a direct flight from Cincy.”

Silly, silly Captain Monkeypants! What am I thinking. It costs MORE to fly from Cincinnati than if I connect through this airport on my way to New York. Also, I can’t get on this flight because according to Orbitz, Travelocity and Delta’s website, there is NO direct flight at this time.
Hmm….colour me confused. I suppose it’s to do with hubs and traffic and airport taxes and all that. I don’t know. If you ask me, since I’d be using more airline fuel to hop from Fort Wayne to Cincy to New York, I’d assume I should have to pay less than if I just fly from Cincinnati to New York.

Also, I’d be utilizing less manpower if I just took one plane.

Also, it just seems silly to drive to my parents only to fly home and then catch another plane when I could save myself the bother and just drive to the Cincinnati airport.

Still, this doesn’t help with the issue of the puppies. I’m trying to now plan a trip so I can drop the pups off, drive back home the same day, fly out the next morning and fly home with enough time to head up to my parents to pick up my fluffy canine bundles of joy. This is working out a lot less expensive. However, time-wise, airlines aren’t making it easy.

I know that airline ticket prices aren’t arbitrary. There’s a ‘prime time’ to travel and an ‘off-prime time’ to travel. What I don’t understand is that on the ticket prices I’m seeing, I can leave earlier in the day and get home at a reasonable time for a decent price. Or, I can pay a lot more, take the same flight but sit at a connecting airport for a couple of hours and then get home late at night.

It doesn’t make sense. Perhaps if I worked in the travel industry, it would make sense but…I don’t and it doesn’t. Why would I want to pay more to hang out at an airport only to get home later? I’m grateful that the option I’d prefer- nonstop- is cheaper at the moment but I’m still scratching my head as to the logic behind the ticket pricing.

It’s the same thing as baggage. I heard a story on the news that said some airlines would start charging for carry-on bags as well as checked luggage. I don’t understand that. I know airlines need money but, well, we all need money. We also need clothes and underwear when we travel. It’s almost like we’re being blackmailed to be allowed to have the basic necessities on a trip. “Hey, you- give us twenty bucks or you’re going to have to either wear the same underwear for your entire trip. Or you could buy a whole new wardrobe. Except then you’d have to leave it behind because we’re going to charge you to bring that home!” (insert evil villain laugh here).

I know that airlines need every penny that they can get. This is why they now charge for snacks. Also, this is why they squeeze in those extra rows of seats in Coach so that you feel like your elbows and your knees are one, why you feel like you can’t move for fear of accidentally elbowing your seatmate and why when you bring down your tray table, you have a moment where you are greatful that you aren’t any bigger than you are because otherwise, it would be resting on you and that would make your drink a little unstable.

They do have us hostage because there’s really no other convenient way to travel. In some countries, there are trains. In the U.S. there are trains in some places but not everywhere. It’s sporadic. Driving takes a while. Also, you can’t take a train or a car to most of the other continents so, pretty much, flying is our only option.

Still, I always look for the best deals. It’s just a delicate balance of the right deal from the right airport at the right time. It’s like a puzzle where, at any time, the pieces can shift and the prices can change. And they do. Constantly.

Have I mentioned that I think airlines like to make things difficult? Ah well, what fun would there be if everything was easy?

Happy Wednesday!

The Joys of Flying: Paying More and Getting Less

It's muggy, grey, cloudy and humid out there. There's a strange mist hovering over the fields but it isn't over the water which is unusual. I drive by a cemetary every day and the mist was thicker there. Naturally, I find that fascinating and strangely magnetic; it's a natural creepiness that suits my dark sense of fiction.

It does make for a gloomy drive, one which is difficult when I am already wishing I didn't have to get up for work. Things feel more distant on days like this, as though I'm passing through a world that doesn't know I'm there.

But I am here now, earlier into the office than usual because there was less traffic than usual. Perhaps everyone else decided to stay home in bed.

However, I did not and here I sit, ready to start a new day of work. I also have another mission to accomplish while I work: I need to book a plane ticket.

The problem with the ticket is it's for next weekend. I'm usually much better organized than this when it comes to travel. However, I asked my boss last week in hopes I'd have permission to take a day off work and still haven't heard back. His lack of response has led to my procrastination.

Booking plane tickets these days is a complicated process. There are almost too many sites to on which to search. I usually start with my old standbys, Sidestep.com and Mobissimo.com, sites which scan multiple travel sites for me. I usually figure out from these sites which airlines are currently cheapest then go to the actually airline sites to book. Lately though, this has not been the best method. It seems as though flight prices jump up and down within minutes. One minute, I get ready to book a ticket and I'm told "The price for this ticket is no longer available." This has happened to me no less than five times now.

I actually hate airlines. I think I used to like flying when it was a novelty. I've complained about airlines before, once or twice. The thing is, they're becoming more hateable by the day.

I know it's a bad economy and the airlines are businesses that are struggling. Thus, the prices are higher than ever and the perks are less than ever. I hate that but I get it. However, it's the service I'm starting to have trouble with.

I was watching the news today and I heard about a flight from Houston that left passengers stuck on the plane for 16 hours. It was one of those horrible little small planes, the kind that you really only want to get on, fly and get off immediately. Apparently, the plane was diverted to Rochester, NY because of bad weather. Rather than let the passengers off the plane, Continental Airlines told them that because there was no security at the airport, they had to stay on the plane. They sat on that runway for six hours. According to the airport, it was actually Continental's choice to leave the passenger's there: They had security and the space for the passengers to wait.

I've been stuck on a plane. Usually, it's on a flight which comes before another that already has a tight connection. Thus, those minutes or even hours that you sit there, waiting to take off, not knowing if you're actually going to are already filled with the stress of wondering if you'll make that connection. Add in the crying babies, smell from the bathrooms and stale, germ-infested air and you've got some miserable passengers.

Ironically, I've found airlines to be some of the worst customer-service businesses I've ever encountered. When a problem occurs such as a missed flight because of a delay, while the personnel at the ticket desks try to help, they don't go above and beyond to remedy the situation. I know this is not their fault which is why I try to keep my temper with them. No, it's the airlines' policies that suck. Take, for example, my parents. They had a recent flight to the UK on Delta. They were flying from Indianapolis where they encountered a delay. They knew they weren't going to make thier connecting flight, so did the airline. However, rather than have my parents come back the next day, they told my parents to get on the plane. So they did. By the time they got to Atlanta, they had, of course, missed their connection. To make matters worse, there were no flights available until the next night. Thus, my parents were stranded for almost 24 hours. If Delta had listened, they would have been able to spend that time in the comfort of their home. The interesting thing was though Delta offered a discount for the hotel, they would not pay for my parent's stay overnight in Atlanta, even though it was really their fault my parents got stuck.

I know. Things happen. Yet lately, they seem to happen far more. Not only are air tickets expensive to begin with but there's those taxes and fees on top of it. So you might find a ticket from Cincinnati to Las Vegas for $280 but by the time the fees and taxes have been added, the ticket is $380. Thus....no longer a good price.

Then there's the fees incurred while travelling. American Airlines has now raised their baggage fees. It's now $20 to check the first bag, $30 for the second. This means, theoretically, you could pay $50 to be able to take enough stuff with you to go on a vacation. When you're already paying a lot more for the actual plane ticket than you'd like, those expenses just seem to be adding insult to injury. Let's not even talk about snacks on the plane. I recently flew American; they don't even take cash any more. You now have to give them a debit/credit card in order to be able to buy food or an alcoholic drink on a plane. This makes me worry about how much they're going to be charging in future. For me, using my debit/credit card is different from using cash. With cash, generally, it's been deducted in my mind from my bank account; I feel like it's ok to spend it. With my debit/credit card, I have to mentally calculate my bank balance and then decide if I want to spend the money, regardless of if I'm hungry and didn't get time to eat at the airport.

As I said, I know it's a bad economy and airlines need to make a profit. The crappy part is that we need to be able to fly. We don't have the luxury of time to drive to our destination and as I often regret, teleportation has yet to be invented. So, what do we do?

I'm not sure but I'm thinking that something has to change. Airlines need their profits but they're turning people off from flying because they're not raising their level of service to match the increasing prices. If they'd just treat passengers like people rather than cattle, that'd be a start. Also, do away with the class system. There's nothing more insulting than having a gate with a rope down the middle with a red carpet on one side for the 'elite' passengers. Ok, I get that businessmen who travel a lot get tired of us normal passengers being a little less efficient. I get that rich people pay more for their tickets to not be treated like cattle. But, really? Do we have to be quite so snobby as to have them walk on a red carpet? Really? It's not enough that we have to sit there patiently waiting to get on the plane knowing full well me might have to fight for overhead compartment space because we can't afford to pay $30 to check our bag? It's not enough that we know we Coach passengers are going to get stuck in the section with the crying babies and people who bring on really smelly food that pervades the air and makes us want to vomit?

Ironically, those businessmen and women who travel and get to walk on the red carpet are only getting to do so because they fly a lot. They rarely pay for their upgrades. Besides, they're travelling for business which means, chances are, they didn't even have to pay for their ticket. They can write off all their expenses so they can even check bags if they have to. Yes, I know I'm a little mean when I say this, but I often hope one of those business-suited men who stare at us 'cattle' with such disdain will trip on that red carpet and hold up the rest of the 'elite' line for a few moments.

So, who knows if I'll manage to book a ticket. I keep finding them at an affordable price only to see the exorbiant cost once fees and taxes have been added. Or, I find one that, even with the added charges, is still good only to see that it means a red-eye. I don't mind red-eyes sometimes but when it means I have to go to work as soon as I get off the plane, I prefer not to have to take one. Part of me likes the rabid search for the best price but when you're this close to the day you're going to fly, it's hard to find one. Wish me luck with that.

Of course, once I book my ticket, it means I get to go take my place with the rest of the cattle and experience the joys of flying coach.

Yippee.

Happy Tuesday.