Christmas Shopping...in November....

As always, this weekend has gone way too fast! It actually seems like life is going by too fast. When you get to Autumn and Halloween passes, suddenly it seems like there are very few weekends between now, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Sure, in terms of days, it seems like a lot but in terms of weekend, there's not as many as there could be in order to get things done.

It's not like I'm even that much of a busy person. It's more that I like to drag out celebrating Christmas and when it's broken down into the cold hard facts of there being about 8 weekends between now and then, it really doesn't seem like much particularly when you're already getting invitations to do stuff, there are birthdays in there and work, as always, might get in the way.

So, I'm trying to get a head start. I actually started Christmas shopping in August. Yes, I know it's early but I'm a firm believer in being prepared and even if it's four months early, if I see something someone I know will like and it's at the right price, it will keep for a few months. I still have a lot to buy, however.

The funny thing is that there are quite a few days until Christmas. Even though I work every day, that's not to say I can't do stuff after work. Also, there are still about eight weekends until Christmas. It might be seven or eight. If I had a calendar nearby, I'd count but...I don't and I'm lazy.

Regardless, I'm feeling oddly...panicked already about Christmas which is...wierd. Normally, I don't get that panicked about the holidays because, as I said, I like to be prepared. It's only when you're lying in bed, two days before Christmas Day, running through the checklist of what you've bought and for whom you've bought gifts and you realize, oops...you still haven't got that thing for person X. I know, I know...Christmas isn't really about the gifts and there's more meaning to it than that. I'm not saying there isn't. Yet the cold hard fact of the matter is if you're passing out gifts to your family and you realize that, crap, you forgot to get something for your sister-in-law, etc...you feel like a complete loser of a twit.

Thus, even though it is about much more than gifts, gifts are a part of the celebration. So, buying gifts is part of Christmas...

No, I think my feelings of panic are entirely the fault of retailers who decided that the day after Halloween was a perfectly fine time to overly bedeck the halls, slam us with Christmas advertisements and start having Christmas sales with great prices.

My mistake is that I went shopping on Saturday. I went innocently- one of the warehouse outlets near me was having a great sale on a fold up table and I'd offered to go get one for my parents who are officially starting a Kids Table at Thanksgiving this year. Since they have no actual table at which to sit the kids, the one I saw in the ad would have been perfect.

I got the table with no problems. However, the store was also having a huge sale on Christmas decorations and toys. Even though I try NOT to jump into Christmas until at least Thanksgiving, I usually resist. However, it's quite easy to get sucked in. My strategy is to try to buy ahead so that there's not too much financial stress right before Christmas. I figured it wouldn't hurt to look.

So I did. I found a gift for my niece. It was a great price and I think she'll like it. However, this find of a gift coupled with the Christmas-bedazzled store and the strange, distant sound of Christmas carols flipped a switch into my brain. Immediately, I began to scour the shelves to find gifts for my other niece and my two nephews. I couldn't find anything that jumped out at me and for one moment, I had that brief urgent distress signal flare up: WHAT IF I CAN'T FIND A GIFT FOR THEM? WHAT IF IT'S THE WRONG GIFT AND THEY HATE IT.

Fortunately, I am actually a mostly rational human. I immediately had an internal dialogue with that side of my brain in which the Christmas switch had flipped that went something like this:

"DUDE! CALM DOWN."
"I CAN'T! I NEED TO BUY GIFTS."
"Sweetie, it's November the Fifth. It's Guy Fawkes Day."
"Thanks for reminding me. I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING THEY'LL LIKE!"
"My point is- It's THE FIFTH OF NOVEMBER."
"Yes. And?"
"YOU HAVE EIGHT WEEKS! In eight weeks, I'm quite sure that you'll be quite capable of not only buying gifts for the kids but the adults as well."
"Oh. Ok. WAIT! Should I look for gifts for the adults?"
"No."
"No? But.."
"Shut up and go buy shampoo."
"Oh. Ok."
"And you need drain opener too. Have a look for that."
"Ok. Do you think...?"
"No. Go buy drain cleaner."

You get my point, right? I know that one of the reasons for Christmas saturation beginning so early is that the retailers know that with the economy still being pretty bad, people are trying to stretch out their spending...much like me. It makes it much easier to buy gifts if you're thrust into the season as soon as you walk into a store even if it is only the first week of November.

It's just that, for the first time, even though I have some gifts, I'm already feeling behind which is ridiculous.

It's not just me. The pups and I were walking today and we noticed at least one house that had their decorations up. I get the need to start shopping earlier but, really...decorations? Really? It's quite hard to understand when it's a balmy 65 degrees out, the trees are still quite leafy- albeit splendours in their autumn colours and there are still tomatoes on the vines.

Ah well...I'm sure in a couple of weeks, I'll be contemplating putting my decorations up too...I suppose it doesn't matter really what the date is, does it? When you're ready to start celebrating Christmas, you're ready to start celebrating Christmas...I think I just need to stop fighting it.

It doesn't mean I'm going to go into full panic mode though...not yet, anyway. There's still plenty of time...as long as I keep telling myself that, I'll be fine.

Right?

Happy Monday!

Festive Snowfalls...

Sometimes there are days which seem so right that you wonder if they're real.

I had one of those days this weekend. It was Saturday. I woke up to a gently prompting puppy. Specifically, it was Rory. She has this way of licking my ear when she needs to go outside in the mornings. It's quite gentle but it's her way of saying, "Hey, mummy, I quite need to go out but you seem like you're sleeping so I'm trying not to jump on your head and say, "HEY! I NEED TO PEE."

So I got up and let Rory and Sookie outside. To my delight, I realized it had been snowing and the ground was covered with a layer of white. The pups, confused at the change in landscape, did their business then promptly came in and wanted to go back to bed. Given that it was only 6:30 a.m., I was happy to oblige.

When we got up properly at 8 a.m., the snow had continued. The puppies went out again and this time explored the snow. They came in, their noses covered in white, soaked to the skin but seeming excited.

I ran what errands I had to run that morning so I could spend the day at home. I'm glad I did because it continued to snow, non-stop all day. To my delight, the puppies seemed to love the snow as much as I did. They spent ages outside, rolling in the snow, burrowing in it and just having a great time.

They came in periodically. They warmed up by getting under their blankets. As soon as they were warm and dry, they wanted to go out again.

Naturally, this made me rather happy. You have to understand, my last dachshund, as effective as he was in the snow dance, hated snow. He looked at me as though I'd betrayed him whenever snow fell and he got wet. Thus, it was to my great delight that I discovered both Rory and Sookie seemed to genuinely enjoy the frozen white stuff.

We went for a couple of walks. Somehow, we seemed to choose the time when the snowflakes were falling heaviest and thickest. We got soaked but it didn't stop me from turning my face up to the sky any more than it stopped Rory and Sookie from exploring snowbanks and divebombing into them.

By the time we got home, we were all soaked. I put the girls coats which, by now, were wet and mucky, into the washing machine. I made myself a cup of peppermint hot chocolate.

I can say, there's no finer way to see in the first real snowfall of the season than a mug of peppermint hot chocolate.

Unless, perhaps, it involves putting up the Christmas tree while drinking peppermint hot chocolate.

This turned out to be our Saturday. I put up my Christmas tree, decorated the house and drank peppermint hot chocolate while listing to the very festive sounds of the Tran-Siberian Orchestra. The puppies, meanwhile, watched. They were a little alarmed at the tree. They're not happy that I hung bells on the lower level of branches to deter them. They don't understand why a large, fake Christmas tree is adorning our living room.

I'd much rather have had a real one. I'm sure they would too. However, it's hard to manage a real tree when you're a singleton. Also, as much as I like the smell, the dropping needles are a bit of a pain. Also, I hate having to put the tree out to be recycled at the end of the season. It's just plain sad.

So I put up my 6 ft, pre-lit tree every year. I make up for the sparse areas by decorating those areas more heavily. I have a lot of decorations. I have so many that next year, I'm hoping to be able to get a second tree for my family room.

Still, real or fake, there's something wonderfully festive about getting ready for the holidays, especially while the snow is falling.

By Saturday evening while the snow was still falling, we had a very festive house. We celebrated by watching "Elf," wrapping gifts and being happy that I'm doing well on my Christmas shopping.

That's the best way to celebrate in my opinion. I usually spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with my parents so it's nice to be able to squeeze in the festive moments at home while I can.

It's especially nice when the snow is falling gently but firmly outside and it really feels like Christmas. I'm a sucker for tradition and when the snow comes down during the Christmas season, it makes me feel exponentially more festive. I don't need an excuse for loving snow but this snowfall was perfect. It fell on everything but the roads and sidewalks. It was the type of snow that makes everything looks like a Christmas card.

Sunday was less snowy but we had a few flurries. Each time, the pups ran out as if to embrace it. During one of our snowy walks, I realized I might have been slighly crazy to be out and about it such a heavy snowfall but given that the pups were with me, turning their faces upwards, I didn't feel quite so alone.

Sometimes, that's just a lovely feeling. Whether the company is human or canine, to celebrate something as wonderful as snow with another creature is just the most rewarding feeling in the world. It's nice to see the puppies outside, embracing the twirling, swirling snowflakes and then have them come in to be cuddled with a blanket and to watch out the window with me.

Even if I'm a little crazy to love snow the way I do...at least I have company!

Happy Monday!

Good Ideas are Not Always Good (But They do Sometimes Lead to Interesting Sandwiches)

It was a very cold day out there today. Temperature-wise, it wasn't that chilly, according to the thermometer. However, there was a very cold wind chill that made the temperature feel 20 degrees colder.

Naturally, this was the day I decided to try to be quickly festive after work. Generally, when I get off work, it's getting dark, thanks to Daylight Savings Time. On days when it's been cloudy, rainy or snowy, it's pretty dark by the time I come out of work. On days when it's been sunny, like today, there's still a smidgen of daylight left.

Tonight, I got home with that smidgen shining enough that it didn't feel later than it was. Normally, after work, I try to run errands. Last night it was the library, the night before it was the dollar store. Tonight, however, I had no errands to run.

Thus, I thought I'd take advantage of the waning daylight and finally take down my autumn leaves that are wrapped around my little lamppost in my front garden along with the scarecrows that have been outside since mid-October. I managed to do that and, not thinking too hard about it, I decided there was enough light to replace my leaves with my faux-pine garland that wrapped around the lamppost. I managed to do this although by the time I was done wrapping the garland and getting it to stay in place, my fingers were suspiciously numb.

Meanwhile, all the time I was outside, I could hear the yipping of Sookie from inside the house. Rory isn't as much of a yipper. Sookie, on the other hand, likes to be on alert for any alien movement outside. She sits on the back of the sofa and watches out of the window. I always know when someone's walking their dog by our house or Son of Dog Whisperer is playing in the street with his friends.

So tonight, as I wrapped my garland, I had a soundtrack going on. Sookie was clearly alarmed that I was outside not inside with them. Also, I'm sure she and Rory were both wondering what bizarre thing I was doing to my lamppost.

The wrapping didn't go as well as I'd have liked. My fingers, growing number by the moment refused to cooperate as I tried to secure the garland in place with the plant wire I normally use. I managed to get it wrapped around the post, slightly haphazardly. I even managed to clumsily stick a bow on the top. I couldn't get the second one on the opposite side of the lamppost because my fingers would no longer cooperate.

I suppose the moral of my story is that sometimes, what I think is a good idea may not really be one. It seemed smart to put my outdoor holiday decor up this evening but, really, I should have waited until the weekend like I'd originally planned.

Then again, sometimes good ideas that may not seem wise to others do turn out to be good. For example, a few years ago, I invented the brussels sprout sandwich. It's quite simple. You get some of those frozen brussels sprouts by Green Giant that are microwavable and in a low-fat butter sauce. You microwave them and then scoop the sprouts out, put them between slices of bread and, voila! the brussels sprout sandwich.

Personally, I find it quite a tasty invention. Others seem not to agree. I suppose it does take some affinity for brussels which I personally have. I adore the things. Other people, I know, think they taste like feet. How people know they taste like feet, I have no idea. However, it's probably along the same lines as my thinking that chysanthemum tea tastes like dead ladybugs. I've personally never eaten dead ladybugs but that's what I think they'd taste like.

Anyways, what I'm getting at is that sometimes, bad ideas turn out to be good. Tonight, my good idea turned out to be bad. Still, I do now have some semblance of Christmas decor outside even though it will need to be adjusted to make it look properly right.

Still, I'm hoping that when I go out to fix them, it's not quite so cold. I'd rather my fingers didn't go numb.

Of course, I could wear gloves. Now there's a good idea. Why didn't I think of that before.

Ah well.

Happy Friday!

The Mystery of Penguins at Christmas...

I got my wish today. I woke up just as daylight was starting to creep in only to see that it was snowing.

Needless to say, this made me quite happy. It didn't please the pups quite so much, however. I made them wear their little pink coats since it was cold out and they didn't like that very much. They went out but then they came in and sat still, sulking until I took them off. They promptly ran outside again. I'm hoping they get used to them since it was cold today but not as cold as it's lightly to get.

As the day past, the snow fell a little faster and a little heavier. I had at least three people ask me if I'd done the snow dance with Sookie or worn my snowflake necklace. The answer was, in fact, yes. Hey, it's December. Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance for snow.

It was good snow. It fell enough to put the thinnest coating on the ground but not enough that the naysayers could complain that the snow was a problem. It was nice to come out of work, turn my face up to the sky and let the flakes fall.

It's still snowing a little out there. When I came home from work, I decided that even though it was cold, the puppies and I were going to celebrate the first official snowfall of winter by going for our walk. This time, I made them wear their coats. I think they look adorable. They have twin mock-Burberry pink fleece coats that cover their middles which, being dachshunds, are quite long. They walk side by side down the street and it's just plain fun to watch.

They didn't seem to mind the cold although it occurred that their feet might be cold. The pavement had to be pretty frigit. Yet, does that bother dogs? I don't have a clue. I know they make shoes for dogs but to me they've always seemed like a vanity thing rather than a practical thing. I mean, there are some dogs like huskies that are made for cold climates and you don't see them wearing boots or shoes. So I'm hoping that the puppies feet acclimate to the colder temperatures. I don't fancy putting shoes on each of their four feet. It's hard enough velcro-ing Rory's coat closed as she wriggles around.

Still, we enjoyed our walk. With my gloves, comfy shoes and coat, I stayed warm except for my ears. The puppies didn't seem to get too cold. They liked to sniff at the little dollops of snow that had accumulated on the raked piles of leaves. This time of year, it's nice to walk because everyone's putting their Christmas lights up. I like to see whose decorations I think are the best. I am not, sadly, a fan of the giant inflatable...anything. It might be a giant train with penguins on it, a giant snowglobe with blowing snow and penguins in it, a tree with a mini Santa hanging from it, blowing in the breeze...I don't care. I find giant inflatable holiday decor to be, uh, tacky.

Also, I find much of it involves penguins. Why is that? I mean, I rather like penguins. They're cute. They're comical when you watch them at Seaworld and the zoo. They're fun to watch on the nature channel.

But why are they really associated with Christmas and the holidays? I mean, ok, so they live in a snowy climate and, Christmas, typically, in this hemisphere is often associated with snow. However, there are also other creatures that live in the artic...walruses for example. Do you see giant inflatable walruses? How about musk oxen? Wolverines? Whales? (yes, I googled "arctic creatures" in case you were wondering.) Do you see giant inflatable musk oxen? Nope. So why penguins?

So, these are actually the things I ponder as I walk the puppies and look at the Christmas decorations. The puppies are a little puzzled by the giant inflatables anyway because their air pump thingies make a strange whirring noise. Also, if they flap in the breeze, that tends to make the puppies jump.

We prefer the classically decorated houses with their lights, wreathes, pine, bows and snowmen. There are a few on our street that are beautiful. It's nice to walk by and see them up close because it's never quite the same when you drive by.

On nights like this, with the Christmas lights and snow, it makes me happy I moved back to the midwest. California for all it's balminess and prettiness was never the same in the winter. I could never get used to the palm trees being decorated with Christmas lights.

Never mind it never snowing. That...I could never get used to for all the years I lived out there. Snow, how I've missed you. Welcome back!

Happy Wednesday!

The Dichotomy of Seasons in the Neighbourhood...

This has been another very quick weekend. I've discovered that even when you like your job, weekends fly by and you're ready to head back to work before you know it.

Still, I can't complain. This has been a beautiful weekend. Today, especially, was just a stunning autumn day. It was the type of day where I got up with a 'to do' list in my head. It included yard work, cooking, writing, cleaning and doing laundry. I also had to go on a mad early morning dash to Target for their pre-Black Friday sale on behalf of my sister who's in search of this thing for my niece for Christmas called a "LaLaLoopsy Doll" or something to that effect. Unfortunately, Target did not have said doll nor did Walmart. I think this means my sister and I might have a quest for Christmas.

Still, when I got home from my pre-Black Friday shopping trip, I realized that it was far too nice of a day to waste and so I took the pups for a long nature hike over the woods.

It was a wise choise. There was a cool breeze but the day was otherwise sunny and balmy. The woods were a myriad of autumn colours and we had fun chasing nature. That is to say the puppies had fun chasing nature in the form of a woodpecker, squirrel, herron and a flock of Canadian geese whereas I just ran along behind them, enjoying the exercise.

It was a great day for a walk. The air woke my tired brain up and made me appreciate that it's less than a week until Thanksgiving and I could still get by in light jacket and t-shirt without being cold.

I wore the puppies out which is not something I was too unhappy to see. By the time they got home, it was nap time for them while I did some more of my errands. When they woke up, they joined me in the garden as I winterized it- chopping down the dead plants and putting leaves around the roots of the plants that are sensitive to cold.

The day remained pretty and so later this evening, on a break from writing, the pups and I went for another walk- this time on our regular neighbourhood romp.

We discovered that while we had been walking over the woods, enjoying the balmy sunnyness of autumn, many of our neighbours were taking advantage of the good weather and putting their Christmas decorations up outside. While it's still a little early for my tastes, I couldn't blame them. If I were going to do more than put some lights over my bushes, I'd probably have thought about it too.

However, we also noticed that it wasn't just outdoor decorations that had gone up. As the sun set and we continued our walk we noticed more than one house in which a tree stood proudly in the window.

It's still too early for my tastes but it's nice to see the lights, at least. In addition, it's quite fun to see the transition in lawn decorations from autumn/Halloween to Christmas. There are still some houses, like mine, with scarecrows and autumn leaves decorating them. Then there are the Christmas folk with their red and green displays, their multicoloured lights and their icicles hanging from the roofs.

To me, this shows the transition of the season, even if I'm not ready to make the transition yet.

We had fun on our walk this evening. It turned out to be quite a windy day so the leaves had gathered in thick carpets all the way around the neighbourhood. Even those people who had painstakingly raked their leaves and cleared their lawns were back to needing to rake again.

Personally, I only rake leaves when they pose a nuisance such as being trod into the house. otherwise, I leave them. This time of year, there's such a pretty display of reds, oranges, browns and yellows in the fallen leaves that it seems a shame to ruin the cover on the ground. It's like nature is giving us a carpet of colour. Why rake it? When it rots and turns brown, the snow will come and offer a cleansing cover of white. Then the snow will melt and the green of spring will be peeking through. I say let the leaves lie...they're prettier that way.

The puppies, however, don't mind the raked piles of leaves. Rory continues to 'splat' on ever pile she sees while Sookie watches her, bemused. They don't seem bothered by the dichotomy of Halloween meets Christmas that we see as we walk. They're too busy looking for squirrels.

It's nice to still be able to walk. Then again, I'm hoping we can still walk, even if it snows. I'm curious to see the neighbourhood in yet another transition. I hope the puppies aren't opposed.

We'll see how that goes.

Happy Monday!

Un-Awkward Bagel Days...

It's a gloomy day out there again today. I think our Indian summer is coming to an end and Autumn is, again, attempting to take control. It's not cold yet but the temperatures are supposed to slowly decrease as the week goes on.

Some days feel more like Autumn than others, despite the air temperature outside. Today, for example. The leaves seem to keep coming down regardless of the obsessive attempts of my neighbours to stop them from collecting in the yard, diligently raking on a daily basis, trying to keep their lawn leaf-free. To them, I say...Give it up! I know that it looks messy with the leaves on the grass but the trees aren't bare yet. Until the leaves have finished falling, it's a fruitless job. At the end of the day, their lawns are covered again. They're fighting a losing battle.

My neighbours, who I am officially naming "The Griswolds," are still putting up Christmas decorations. I suspected they might. They started the day after Halloween and, no joking, every day since then, something new has been added. Since they haven't started to turn them on at night, I'm thinking they're pacing themselves so that they can do one, giant, grand unveiling. In addition to the giant plastic Christmas lights, they have candy canes, a pile of soggy-looking presents, a plastic, several lighted plastic Christmas trees, a caroler, a snowman, a row of snowflake lights and a row of just normal lights. This is all just in the yard. I can't wait to see if they start putting lights up on their house. While I mock them, I still await to see how much they will add, how far they will go.

And, as I suspected, their Christmas fever is catching. When I drove down the street on Saturday, several other families looked to be preparing their own festive displays. To me, an Indian summer meant sitting outside in the sunshine or finishing up my backyard to prepare it for winter. For others...it clearly means it's time to deck the halls. To each his own, I suppose.
I'm starting to see more decorations creep up in gardens, in stores, all over the place. I admit, I'm avoiding the Christmas sections of stores mostly because I am easily swayed by cute snowmen, glitter and holiday candles. It all starts somewhere and the minute I replace my pumpkin pie candle for a candy-cane one, I know I'm doomed. I'll have caught Christmas.

In the meantime, our office is still devouring the leftover Halloween sweets that everyone bought in. Whereas I ran out of trick or treat candy about one hour and fifteen minutes into it, everyone else, apparently, had a shortage of trick or treaters. I think they all came to my neighbourhood instead. This means we have chocolate eyeballs, zombie fingers made out of chocolate, Charleston chews and Butterfingers galore in the office. This morning, we also have bagels. Fortunately, this will not mean an Awkward Bagel Day because the bagels are in our break area and it's pretty much a 'grab one and take it back to your desk' type of situation. Someone brought them in for his birthday. Around here, you bring in your own treats for your birthday.

To be honest, I'm not quite sure I really understand that logic. To me, that's sort of like saying, "Office, in honour of the fact that I was born and you are graced with my presence, I give you......

BAGELS!"

Granted, people like bagels and never turn down a free one. Generally, people don't bring in bagels though, usually it's one of those packages of cookies that you get from a store bakery. Last year, I baked cookies because I was too cheap to buy a package and I already had the ingredients. The problem with that is that cookies for others are supposed to be baked with love. I admit, my cookies were baked with something like resentment because I didn't think it was quite right to have to buy or bake my own cookies on my birthday.

I know, I know...I sound a little bitter but, keep in mind, I come with a vast background of past jobs since I was trying to find my purpose in life and all. Even at the jobs I disliked most, the office would band together and get a cake or treat of some sort. I never minded contributing a few dollars to a birthday fund. The larger of the companies I worked for would do a 'group cake' once a month, celebrating all the birthdays in a department/company that fell in that month, the smaller would collect a few dollars from everyone and they'd pitch in and get something for someone's birthday.

When I first got to this job, I was a wee bit astounded when I found out the celebratee of the birthday bought their own treats. I asked, timidly..."Why do we do that?" and I was told that it was the way it had been done for a while because it wasn't fair that someone would have to be responsible for it, that the same people always had to pay for it and it got to the point where it was too much. Thus, instead of spending the money on someone else's birthday, we spend it on our own. Now me, being the crazy Monkeypants I am, would, in that case, rather go home and spend the money on a nice bottle of wine or a big Kit-Kat and eat it all by myself. Generally, I think of myself as quite generous but my birthday is the one day of the year when it's all about ME.

Now, to be fair, I think the initial problem was the same people would always have to bring in the treats and pay for them out of pocket without getting reimbursed. Now that isn't right and I understand that. At the few companies where we didn't have a birthday fund, dare I mention that our managers would take care of it? Now, knowing my manager here and knowing that he would NEVER remember, I'd expect him to delegate someone else to remember these things and to set them up to bring in bagels or something. I know, I'm being mean by expecting the managers to pay for a cake/bagels/cookies out of pocket but I also happen to know that my manager earns, literally, almost triple my salary so....yes, call me a selfish little Monkeypants, but if anyone has to treat, maybe it should be the manager.

I've also been told we don't HAVE to bring in treats yet I know this is frowned upon a little. If everyone else brings in treats, I should too. So, I did last year and I probably will again because there are some compromises in life that just aren't worth fighting. Also, since I'm eating a bagel as I write this, it's only fair that, when my birthday comes, I should repay the bagel favour by saying, "it's my birthday. Celebrate me and my fantastic presence on this earth! Have a bagel!"

I should probably make sure I don't sound quite that sarcastic. I have time to work on that, fortunately.

Happy Tuesday!

A Frosty Friday...

It's a frosty Friday morning and I'm ready for the weekend. As I drove in, the frost was thick on the cars parked outside, the grass and on the tall piles of leaves that have been raked at the side fo the street.

I always think it's nice to see those piles of leaves. I admire the people who rake that diligently because all it really takes is one gusty day or one enthusiastic leaf-pile-jumper and all those leaves are scattered again.

I have a lot of leaves in my own yard. I don't even have a tree. I have a sneaking suspicion that the leaves came from both the hickory nut tree or the sycamore tree that belongs to my neighbour. I suppose I could rake the leaves but the thing is, I don't want to. I personally like a coating of leaves because I think it does the grass good to be covered up for winter; sort of a thermalizing effect.

Also, it means that if I have too many leaves, I can't really find my lawn which means I don't have to mow anymore. The Dog Whisperer next door mowed his lawn last weekend. My own grass hasn't really grown that much since it's hit the 'hibernation' period. His grass wasn't that long either. I've always heard that you're not supposed to mow after the first heavy frost because it's bad for the grass. Since he now has several dead-looking patches, I can't help but think there might be something to this. Even if there's not, I don't care. It's a handy excuse to avoid mowing the lawn.

I'm hoping this Friday will fly by. All in all, it hasn't been a bad week. Most of the managers have been gone at conferences and the atmosphere in the office is a little more relaxed. Besides, it's Friday and everyone loves Friday.

I'm definitely looking forward to the weekend but, then again, that's nothing new. I'm not sure what I'm up to yet for the weekend. It's supposed to be Indian summer weather in which it gets up to nearly 70. Since I have some final work to do in the garden, I need to get that done this weekend. There's a lot of things that need to be cut back so that they don't rot and make a mess over the winter.

In addition, I want to do a little Christmas shopping. I'm liking my strategy of starting very early with shopping because it's making it more economical. If I see a good gift for someone at a good price, I'll buy it.

Yet, just because I plan on doing a little shopping, it doesn't mean that I think it's really time to start getting ready for Christmas. As I blogged last year almost on this exact same day, it seems as though Christmas is already in full swing, according to the retailers. Last night was my 'busy' TV night and even though some of the shows were recorded on my handy-dandy DVR, I still had to sit through commercials. Apparently, it's time to start decorating, to start buying cell phones as gifts and going to 'pre-Thanksgiving' sales with the "Lowest Prices EVER for the holidays."

I don't know why I'm still horrified that we're already seeing these advertisements. By now, you'd think I'd be used to it. Retailers want people to jump into the holidays with both feet starting the day after Halloween. Actually, if I want to get nit-picky, they started stocking Christmas stuff at Walmart about two weeks before Halloween. Yet, as much as I love Christmas and all the trimmings that go with it, I'm not ready to start getting ready for Christmas. I want to enjoy that Thanksgiving turkey first. I want to feel that little rush of thrill when I'm close enough to Christmas that I can start getting excited about it. I can't do that now although, I confess, when I got to a store and see aisles of decorations, wrapping paper and lights, I want to start getting ready for it. This idea, naturally, makes me angry when I make myself remember the date. I'm being manipulated by retailers and manufacturers and I don't like it.

I mentioned the other day that there's a house on my street that has the decorations up already. I've noticed that every day, they add to it. It started with candy canes lighting the driveway. Then they added a row of ginormous outdoor fairy lights. I say ginormous because they're not actually normal lights; they're these massive plastic things that are more like a lawn decoration than a lighting method. On Tuesday, they added a snowman to their yard. Yesterday, they added a penguin and a caroler. Today, they've added a stack of 'presents'. I'm not sure about those. They're no plastic-made-for-the-outdoors type of decoration, they're actually cardboard boxes wrapped up with shiny wrapping paper and tied with ribbon bows. They've been out there less than 24 hours and, already, they're looking a little saggy and soggy. I'm thinking they're going to be one of those Griswold type of families that is going to be the best and brightest house on the block by the time it actually is close to Christmas. Thus, they add slowly but surely and eventually, their house will be visible from outer space because of the glow.

I haven't seen anyone else in my neighbourhood put their decorations up yet but since it's the weekend and it's now been a week since Halloween, others will most likely follow. I'm not going to join them. The most I'll do is peruse the sales and see if there's anything worth squirreling away until Christmas. I will NOT be putting my decorations out yet. Also, I will not be listening to Christmas music yet even though the radio tries to tell me otherwise. There's a station that I flick to once in a while that has now become "All Christmas Music, All the Time!" It's TOO early!

Ok, I'm not going to talk about that anymore. Although I'm curious to hear an opposing viewpoint to mine as to why we should be preparing for the holidays already. So, if you have one, comment away and I'll happily entertain the notion of breaking out my Transiberian Orchestra CD's and baking gingerbread.

Most likely though, I'll try to ignore the fact that it's hard to walk in a store and avoid the Christmas merchandise. Even the giftcards that places like Target, Walmart and K-Mart have on sale are emblazened with festive decorations. The question I have about this is...REALLY? Do we need Christmas gift cards yet? I mean, hello, it's a GIFT CARD. It's not exactly something that stores are going to run out of. The one thing they want to ensure is that people will spend money in their store and gift-cards are the most secure way of doing that. Thus, you can walk into store at 9 p.m. on Christmas Eve and buy a Christmas gift card. You don't need to run out and fight the crowds for one of those so, I ask, is there any reason we should have them on display already? I'm not going to buy those yet! If I did, I'd probably talk myself into using it and buying the intended recipient something else!

Still, there is no escape: In the World of Retail Merchandise, the holidays are already here. Just because I don't like it doesn't mean it's going to stop. All I have to do is not let myself get sucked into the vortex of hollyberry scents, shiny ornaments and glittery lights.

Right?

Happy Friday! Have a great weekend.

Sometimes, You Just Need a Good Rant...

Today is one of those days in which I'm feeling rather fierce. I don't quite know why other than there are some days where I just wake up feeling that way. It's the type of day where I don't let any other driver on the road get away with behaving badly. If they cut me off, I will yell at them. If they get on my tail, I will slow down.

It's also the kind of day where I just feel slightly cantankerous about things, stupid little things that irk me but inspire a rant because they simply exist and I don't like them. So, today, rather than try to be sunshiney and positive, I decided to spend today's blog having a little rant about the insignificant things that annoy me. Since I don't want to write a novel, I'll try to limit the list. However, I did come up with quite a few things in the short time I thought about it.

Item #1: Turtleneck sweaters.

I despise turtlenecks. I hate wearing them and I don't like seeing them worn. The only time I find them acceptable is on those winter Olympic athletes who need them because otherwise they'll freeze. I hate the way they cling around people's necks, making them look like they're being smothered by their own clothing. It's like the turtleneck has a life of its own and it's trying to slowly eat their head. It probably has something to do with the fact that I, personally, hate anything tighter than a loose scarf around my own neck because I hate feeling constricted. Therefore, when I see someone's head being slowly devoured by their turtleneck sweater, I have the urge to take a pair of scissors and set them free. Fortunately, I have some common sense and even when I'm in my most advanced stage of turtleneck loathing, I have the sense of mind to know that if you move towards someone while holding a pair of scissors and looking slightly maniacal, that's not good.

Item #2: Nicholas Cage

Nicolas Cage irritates me. Nicholas Cage irritates me a lot. First of alll, he only has two roles that he plays. His first role is: "Look at my enormous saucer eyes! I'm emoting. I'm Mr. Compassionate. I'm sad. Look how sad I am because my eyes look like a basset hound's after it's peed on the floor and feels guilty. " (examples of this: "Leaving Las Vegas," "City of Angels", "The Weatherman" and any other romantic movies he has made.). His second role is "I'm Mr. CRAZY! LOOK AT MY CRAZY EYES! I'm cool! I'm edgy! I'm going to go find the Declaration of Independence because I'm CRAZY! I'm going to save the day in my Con Air plane! I'm going to be all goofy and be Gone in 60 Seconds because I'm crazy, man, I'm CRAZY!" So, yes, Nicolas Cage bothers me a lot. The other reason I don't like him is because he sounds like he's chewing his cheeks when he talks, rather like a hamster. I suppose when I think about it, he does sort of resemble that hamster, Rhino, from "Bolt". See evidence above.

Item #3: People who already have their Christmas decorations up

People, it's NOVEMBER 3rd. Christmas in December 25th. I understand that the holidays are a fun time and you want to celebrate them as long as possible but it's NOVEMBER 3rd. Halloween was TWO DAYS AGO. It is NOT acceptable to take down your giant inflatable spider and giant inflatable orange pumpkin that was usually flat anyway and replace it with a giant inflatable Santa Claus and a row of candy canes. Seriously, I saw that someone on my street had done that this morning. I love Christmas. I love everything about it, the smells, sights, shopping and chaos. Yet, it isn't even Thanksgiving! If you have to put something giant and inflatable up in your yard, put up a giant turkey! They sell them! I've seen them! Just because the stores are selling Christmas/holiday stuff does NOT mean you have to give in to the power of manipulative commercialism. Be strong! Resist!

Item #4: The Trailer for "The Twilight Saga: New Moon"

Oh, you knew this was coming. I saw the preview last week. All I can say is "GAHHHH!" Are we REALLY teaching our teenage girls that it's perfectly acceptable to go crazy when you break up with your boyfriend and turn into a thrill seeker who rides motorbikes, jumps off cliffs and essentially tries to kill herself? Also, what the heck is up with that Taylor Lautner kid who is playing Jacob? He looks like he's grimacing all the time. I don't care how much he works out, he still looks like he's twelve. Jacob the former werewolf who became a shapeshifter because Stephanie Meyer either a)couldn't make up her mind or b)read some of Charlaine Harris' books, is supposed to be a strapping, sizzling seventeen year old. Taylor Lautner looks like the Disney Channel version. Also, that's a bad wig. Actually, all the wigs in the movie are bad except Robert Pattinson because he's not wearing a wig, it's his real hair that looks bad. Finally, the preview is very DRAMATIC! Bella almost dies but Jacob saves her. Edward thinks he's dead so tries to get permission to kill himself. He almost wanders naked into public but Bella SAVES him. Hurrah! Then they get to go meet with a council of vampires who all look like they'd rather be in an Anne Rice novel. Sorry Dakota Fanning but red contacts and a pout does not make you that scary. You're still Dakota Fanning.

Item #5: Tootsie Rolls

We've discussed this. They are NOT chocolate. They might have cocoa in them but they are NOT chocolate. Chocolate melts in your mouth. It does not require chewing. When I crave chocolate, I'm not about to reach for a Tootsie Roll. It is not the same thing. Enough said.

Item # 6: The ABC Television Network

Ok, ABC, what are you THINKING? You remake V, the beloved mini-series from the '80's and then you decide to SPLIT UP THE AIRING BY FOUR MONTHS! You can read my review of the first episode of V on my TV blog because I saw it at Comic-Con. It had flaws but it was entertaining. I know a lot of people wanted to see it because they remember the original. Also, ABC has been promoting the crap out of the show. I salute their brilliance in using Muse's "Uprising" as the background music because it's perfect. However, if you're going to drive people potty by showing them the preview over and over then perhaps you should rethink your airing strategy. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, ABC is going to let you watch four episodes now! Then they...make you wait for the rest. UNTIL MARCH! Now, they say it's because they want to make it 'event viewing'. Also, the Winter Olympics would get in the way anyway. So, here's my question. Why not air the show when there are NO Olympics? Also, what kind of an event is that? Do you really think that people would go to an event and then be willing to wait four months for the conclusion? It's like going to a concert, seeing the opening band and then waiting FOUR MONTHS for the next band. That's just silly!

Ok, I promise I'm done for now. I apologize if I've offended anyone. Please bear in mind that Captain Monkeypants was just in the mood to rant and did not intend her opinions to be hurtful, rude or mean. Except perhaps the Twilight ones because irritating Twi-hards and their mothers is actually sort of entertaining. No offense to my friends who like "Twilight." I still think you're insane but I love you anyway. And, um, I'm sorry if I was mean when I compared Nicolas Cage to a hamster. It doesn't mean I take it back but it was a little cruel, I suppose.

Sometimes it helps to just let it out. Thanks for sticking with me.

Happy Tuesday