The Visitors Are Coming!

Today was most definitely a Monday. I got to work and started a project that I thought would be simple. Alas, being Monday, nothing is ever simple. It turns out that even though I knew for certain that I'd updated a web page a few months ago, my changes were gone and I had to start from scratch. This realization came after quite a few attempts to find my edits which took up rather a lot of time. By the time I realized I had no choice but to start all over again, I had wasted valuable minutes trying to undo the undo-able error.

Still, even though it was Monday, I was in a scarily chipper mood. I have no idea why. It's remarkably easy to alarm people when they ask you how you are and you say enthusiastically, "It's Monday! YAY!"

I think that enthusiasm from me at work is always sort of a shock to most people. On a Monday, it's just plain alarming. I exacerabated the alarm by reading the motivation poster in the kitchen aloud to anyone who dared seem un-perky. I did not win a lot of fans. In fact, one of my coworkers even swore at me.

I think the saddest part is the more I alarm people with my perkiness, the more it encourages me. In our department staff meeting today, my manager told us we all had to download an application for our computers. When he realized they had to create a download just for little old me, the lone PC user in a sea of Macs, he stared at me and said, "you're really the only one?"

I beamed at him and said, "yup." He stared some more. "Really? Well, aren't you special?"

I merely smiled in my slightly loony way and said, "why yes, I always thought so." He didn't say much more on the subject. I think the fact that he acknowledged that I am the lone banana in a sea of Apple's was enough for the day. It's the teeny, tiny victories that really count, even if they only last a couple of hours.

This week is very special in our office. We have outsiders coming in to be trained on our software. It's very exciting, at least that's what I'm being told. This means for my area that we might be paraded out on a break just to prove that we exist. We also must dress nicely each day. For me, this isn't exactly an issue. I like to dress nicely for work. However, I do find it slightly ironic that we have to dress up to impress the visitors who most likely won't see us. I suppose we're supposed to give the impression that we're highly professional. Given that we actually are quite professional and still manage to be that way in jeans and t-shirts, it's rather interesting that we have to pretend that we dress nice every day.

I'm not against dressing nice for work as I've stated many times. Normally, I get odd looks and questions when I wear something other than jeans to work. It's just that we're pretending. The construction on our building has been working top speed to be done by tomorrow so that the visitors think we're perfect. It's still not done though Neon Einstein and the Motivational Bathroom Pictures are hung so that our guests know we're all perky and upbeat. Of course, given that there are only two bathroom stalls in our entire building and we're going to have quite a few women in for the training, I'm not quite sure how upbeat you can remain when you really need to go and there's a line but, well, they didn't think of that when they gave us our two bathroom stalls.

It's all a charade, really. I suppose any workplace is when you look at it. I watch The Office regularly and I have to say, though we don't have a supervisor quite as incompetant as Michael Scott, some of the events on that show are a little too familiar. I think every workplace is the same. You have to be on your best behaviour when outsiders are in the building to make them think you're perfect. When they leave, then you can start acting crazy and breaking out the jeans. One of the reasons I'll probably never be a boss is that I tend to think the output and work product is one of the things to look at, not what the workers look like who get it there. Also, if you're nice to the workers, they might output a little more, up that ratio of work to salary. My office isn't mean to us per se but, well, they don't exactly have staff appreciation days or parties. Even our Christmas party didn't happen this year because no one could be bothered to plan it. Also, I suspect we had no budget. I don't see why we couldn't have turned on the flat screens, cranked up the popcorn maker and had a party in our little Cubicle Land but no one seemed to go for that.

Now the time for holiday parties has passed. A President's Day party just didn't seem to appeal to anyone. Still, at lunch, we've taken to having little parties in the kitchen area. I think we might have to close the doors when the visitors are in the building; my perkiness might really frighten them. It's one thing to unleash a loony grin on your coworkers but I'm not mean enough to do it to complete strangers.

Of course, it's only Tuesday. By Friday, I might feel differently. I'll let you know.

Happy Monday!

The Most Optimistic Bathroom in The World*

* This is obviously an exaggeration. I'm quite sure it isn't the most optimistic bathroom in the actual world but for the intents of this blog, creative license is permitted.

It's finally Friday. It hasn't actually been that bad of a week but it's still nice when the weekend is creeping nearer, whispering in your ear.

I won't even complain about work this week. I've been trying not to; I had a veer towards the negative last week but I've moved back beyond that and I'm glad it's just a job. I'm feeling rather optimistic.

Actually, I think this might also be due to the fact that at work, we now have the Most Optimistic Bathroom In the World.

I'm not joking. For the past week or two, our rather nice bathroom- which, by the way, actually did finally get corrected- has been gathering paintings. It started with a couple. They were those type of prints in matching hues that have a pretty font with words on them like "Hope" embossed and painted in panels of various shades of the same colour. You'd know what I meant if you saw them. They're usually sort of antique-looking, the shades 'aged' to look older than they are.

Anyhow, those paintings were slowly multiplying and they were sitting for at least a week, lined along the wall. This did seem like a rather odd place to put them but we just figured that they'd get around to hanging them up eventually. In the meantime, they were placed right underneath the only paper towel dispenser in the bathroom which meant every time we washed our hands and reached for a paper towel, we accidentally dripped on the paintings. At first, we just slid them along the wall so they didn't get dripped on. When they multiplied to the point that there was nowhere left to slide them, I finally took the precaution of tilting a painting so it didn't get any more dotted with water than it was.

They hung the paintings yesterday. Our bathroom isn't huge but, by goodness, it certainly is peppy. Every painting declares that we should have "Faith," "Hope" or "Love." Also that we should do something along the lines of "Live for today, your life is now."

And, to top it all off, the stalls themselves even have accroutrements. On the back of each toilet is a little crate thing, printed with flowers and declaring something about "Happiness." I think it says more but it's the "Happiness" that really catches the eye. The crates hold little paper bags to dispose of ladies' sanitary products.

I'm not quite sure why that's something that needs to be represented by "Happiness," but it certainly is an eye-catcher.

Of course, me being...well...me has the urge, every time I go into the stall, to start singing "Happiness" songs in an off-key voice with my own words that I make up. If you've ever seen "Elf," it would sound a lot like Will Ferrell does when he tries to sing a song to his dad.

I actually have gone in there and opened my mouth and made up a song. I just didn't say it out loud. You just never know who's in the stall next door. I wouldn't want them to think I was odd. Also, since I've never heard anyone else sing songs about "HAPPINESS!" like I want to, it's probably just me which would make it even odder.

Two of my coworkers have taken to turning the crates backwards so that the other happy saying that's something to do with the petals of a flower show. Naturally, the only thing to do to that is to turn the crates back so that we can see "HAPPINESS" instead. It's a fun, peculiar little irony and I quite like that. I'm not saying we shouldn't be happy in the bathroom but if you're happy because you're in the bathroom...well, that's just a little odd. I could imagine why someone would be happy in the bathroom but this is a clean blog and, well, we don't go there.

Anyways, it's not that I don't like inspirational paintings. I'm glad they're not motivational posters although knowing our CEO, this is probably her version of those posters. They're very, uh, pretty. There's just...a lot of them. In a very...small space. There is another part to the bathroom, the 'handicapped' bathroom that has a shower. Unfortunately, the toilet is in the middle of this room and the door to it leads to one side of a hallway, the other side leads to the regular bathroom. Thus, if you're in there going to the toilet, there's quite a good chance that someone might not actually realize and walk in on you. I believe they were going to add a lock to the door to prevent this but the bathroom tends to serve as a shortcut from one side of the building to the other. It's a passageway, of sorts.

This room has some wall space. The only thing hanging there is this slightly odd looking wire silhouette of a tailor's dummy. Not quite sure why but it's fascinating for a few seconds then it's just a little odd. I think the inspirational paintings could easily have leaked over there.

Of course, on the plus side, we could have been stuck with the neon Albert Einstein painting that was sitting on the floor of a hallway. I can only assume it's going to be hung. I'm not sure why Al is neon but...he is. It's sort of Warhol-esque only...not.

We have strange taste in art; this is the lesson I'm learning here. Also, I've learned that when I go to the bathroom, I have to live in the today because my life is NOW!

I suppose it is nice to be reminded of these things. Just as it's nice to be reminded that HAPPINESS is a good thing.

I'm just not sure being reminded when I go to the bathroom is really that effective.

Still....it's optimistic and sometimes it's good to be reminded of that. It definitely makes me want to sing....my song usually goes something like this.

"HAPPINESS!!!! AND I'm in the bath-roooooooooooooom. I'm going to go to the TOY-LET! I'm not at my desk! It's EXci-ting! HAPPINESS and I'm going to hide in the BATH-Rooooooooom!"

I probably shouldn't have shared that with you because when I type it out, it looks a little barmy. It sounds much better in my head, let me tell you. Of course, it sort of sounds like Buddy the Elf is singing it in my head so that automatically makes it good.

It does makes me laugh. Of course, this does mean that every time I come out of the bathroom, I have a bit of a loony grin on my face. Which probably is even weirder when you stop and think about it. Nevertheless, a smile does wonders for the day, especially when it's real.

And if the motivational printscan make me smile, even if it's not the way they intended, they're doing their job, right?

See, I'm feeling more optimistic already.

Happy Friday and have a good weekend.