Stormy Starts...

Today began with a rather nasty storm. It’s been very hot here for the past couple of weeks and also very humid so a storm was not a surprise. It started thundering in the night, tapered off and then started back up just as I was getting ready for work.

It was the type of storm which makes the sky so dark, it seems like nighttime. The lightning was coming down in every direction- bright gashes that stretched from sky to ground. The rain started to pour. I was rather happy about the rain- my garden sorely needed it and watering with the hose just isn’t the same.

The only probably was that I had two rather jumpy dachshunds who are a little schizophrenic when it comes to storms. Sometimes, when we have a storm and I’m home, they run outside at the first sound of thunder and seem to take delight in capering around under the lightning filled skies. Last time we had a storm, Rory ran out into the pouring rain and gleefully came inside, soaked from head to toes just a few minutes later.

Today, however, both dogs were very skittish. Rory followed me around like, well, a lost puppy and Sookie was not far behind. Then Rory did her strange trick of jumping up with all four feet off the ground in front of my knees. This trick means that she wants me to catch her mid jump, scoop her up and cuddle her. It is a little odd, I admit but it’s rather adorable. When I did catch her, she immediately snuggled up to me, put her little head on my shoulder and just let me hold her. Of course, then I had to do the same with Sookie because otherwise, she’ll slink off and sulk.

Naturally, it made it rather hard to come to work. I’d much rather have stayed home and cuddled a couple of pups, kicked off my shoes and watched the storm rain down. Instead, I drove to work, a little alarmed at the intensity of the lightning and arrived just as it really began to rain. I keep an umbrella in my car but it did nothing against the wind and the stupid thing blew inside out as soon as I stepped out of my car. By the time I made it across the 25 yards between my car and the office building, I resembled a windblown, half-drowned rat.

This is not the best way to start the day. I prefer not to resemble a rat at all.

The storm eventually passed but it’s left a nasty, heavy, humid world behind it. The entire day had that heavy sort of feel, in general. It’s the kind of day where I never felt like I really woke up and where time moved slowly. Things are a little stressful in the office. We haven’t had a good couple of weeks. A lot of our candidates have fallen through or quit or been fired for no reason. It’s just the way it is, unfortunately and that’s the peril of working with humans- they’re unpredictable creatures. No matter how much you try to make a jump to a new job easier on them, how much you hold their hand and assure them it’ll be fine, there are always those that decide that they’re not ready to jump and they decide to stay where they are.

We do a lot of counseling against counteroffers. They’re only a good idea if it’s entirely about the money. Most of the time, it isn’t. There’s always an underlying reason for leaving. It can be lack of appreciation for the work you do, it could be because you’re not doing the job you were hired to do or it can simply be because you’re bored and you don’t like what you’re doing. Money doesn’t make that go away. Besides, if you do take a counteroffer, it tends to work against you because your company knows that you can be ‘bought’ and, also, that you’re not as loyal to them as they’d like. It works against you.

My advantage is that I know what it’s like to work in a job where they don’t react well to your leaving and they sort of made me a counteroffer even though it wasn’t a good one. Part of me wanted that. There is comfort in familiarity and the everyday routine of your life. Some people embrace change but many of us like consistency and change is scary. So, it is tempting to stay in the same job if they offer you a promotion both in duties and salary. You think that maybe, just maybe, that means they recognize your value and can’t stand the thought of you leaving.

The sad fact is that your leaving is a huge pain in the rear for them and while there might be some disappointment that it’s you personally who are leaving, much of their desire to keep you stems from their lack of desire to have to replace you. Replacing employees is a pain and way more expensive than just giving a willing drone a little pay bump. If they really wanted you personally to stay because they like you so much and don’t want to lose you because you’re fabulous and brilliant, chances are they would have told you that earlier, not because you’re threatening to leave. It’s like any relationship: If the person you’re with can’t tell you that you’re valuable to them and there’s a reason they like being with you, you shouldn’t have to give them an ultimatum to get them to admit their feelings.

So, you see why it’s hard when someone decides to stay with their company even when I’ve worked hard to find them a better opportunity. It’s worse when they accept my opportunity and then, at the last minute, back out. When you’ve already got a start date, agreement letter and offer in place with a client company, it’s a little embarrassing to tell them that they don’t have a new employee after all and have to start from scratch.

Still, as I’ve said before, it’s the nature of the business particularly one where humans are your resource. Like with my dogs and thunderstorms, I can never predict what they’re going to do. In my dogs’ case, they sometimes frolic amidst the crashes and flashes of the storm and other times they simply want to be cuddled and hid in my lap.

On the plus side, it makes each day a new adventure. On the downside, not every adventure is a good one. Yet I learn something every time and I suppose that’s something, isn’t it?

Happy Thursday!

Groundhog...Day

So, apparently, there is a groundhog running rampant around our neighbourhood. According to Larry the Potential Serial Killer, it has done major damage to his garden and he is not a happy camper.

Larry the Potential Serial Killer is precisely one of those people who actually says, “I am not a Happy Camper” (and it sounds capitalized when he says it, too). He actually sounds rather a lot like Ned Flanders from “The Simpsons” and even salutes me with a “Howdy, stranger” when he seems me walking with the pups. He’s very much a “gee-whizz”er meaning that he says things like “gee whiz- that groundhog surely is a nasty critter!”

I feel bad for Larry. He’s rather upset. The mean groundhog ate all his ‘sweet pertaters” and beans. He had apparently planted his sweet pertaters in a barrow and the groundhog had devoured them. I’m not quite sure why they were in a barrow but well, I’m not excited Captain MonkeyPants of the Greenthumb. I like to garden but my knowledge of gardening involves the following:

1) You dig a bit of ground
2) You plant a seed/bulb
3) You water it.
4) You hope it grows
5) You see weeds growing and occasionally pull them up
6) When the weeds grow out of control due to my severe case of Weed Pulling Avoidation, I half-heartedly dig over the soil where I can, slap a bit of weed control fabric over the top and cover it with pretty mulch.
7) If this is not possible because I have already planted stuff that’s overrun by weeds, I try to daintily spray weed killer on the weeds, avoiding the real plants. This inevitably doesn’t work as I usually accidentally end up killing my plants. Thus, I don’t use this method much.
8) Eventually giving up, hoping I can still pick my tomatoes and vowing to be a better weeder next year.

So, you see, while I like gardening, I’m not a die-hard gardener. I also don’t grow sweet potatoes or, even, sweet pertaters because while I enjoy the occasional yam, it’s not a huge part of my diet and I’d never really have too much use for them. Tomatoes, peppers, basil and corn, on the other hand…those I grow. You don’t really grow any of those in a barrow. I try to grow them in pots. This works well for the basil. The tomatoes start out well but end up being too big for the pot and transplanting them never works well for me.

Still, it doesn’t stop me from feeling bad for Larry. Last year, I had half my ‘crop’ devoured by a bunny including all my swiss chard, my corn and my sunflowers. It made me very unhappy. This year, thanks to the fearsome powers of Sookie and Rory, the bunny has been scarce. The one time it did appear, it was chased around frantically until the poor thing almost collapsed with exhaustion before making it out of a tiny hole in the fence. Having dogs is a good thing.

I’m hoping having the dogs means the groundhog won’t visit my garden. I do believe Larry. I’ve seen a couple of groundhogs capering around on this grassy area at the end of my neighbourhood. They’re actually quite cute. Of course, if they were eating my veggies, I probably wouldn’t feel that way. However, having seen the movie, “Groundhog Day,” one too many times, I always have the desire to yell “Don’t drive angry, Phil!” at the groundhogs. Not that I think they’d get my slightly obscure pop culture reference. Nor would they get it if they said, “I’m Ned! Ned Ryerson” or “Watch out for that last step, it’s a doozy!”

Ok, fine, I probably have seen that movie one too many times but I find the comedy of Bill Murray rather hilarious. I much preferred his “Ghostbusters”/”What about Bob”/”Groundhog Day”/”Man Who Knew Too Little” days to his deeper more artsy “Royal Tennenbaum” or “Life Aquatic” days. I miss Bill Murray although “Zombieland” made me love him again.

Sorry. I digress. I do that a lot, don’t I?

Back to the groundhog. I think I’ve actually seen the evil eater of sweet pertaters. On Saturday, I got up early and took the girls for a walk before it got too hot. There was a large furry creature ambling around across the road along with two squirrels. At first I thought it was a raccoon. It could have been a raccoon, I suppose but now I prefer to think that it was the groundhog and I saw it en route to doing more mischief.

Larry gave me the warning about the groundhog last night as I walked the girls. He was fresh off the discovery that his veggies had been devoured and he was hopping mad. The reason I know he was hopping mad was that, well, he said “I’m hopping mad!”

I do appreciate the warning because I do want to keep my precious veggies safe. I’ve worked hard to get them to wear they’re almost ready to pick and if I find a groundhog in my garden…well….I’d probably be hopping mad too. I suppose I could set Sookie and Rory on it but while they think they’re enormous tough dogs, they’re a bit smaller than a groundhog and those things have sharp teeth. Maybe they could tag team it or something.

Either way, I will be watching out for the nasty thing. The last thing I want is to come home and find out that all of my heirloom tomatoes are gone. I don’t even know if groundhogs like tomatoes but I admit, Larry the Potential Serial Killer has got me a bit nervous.

I suspect that it won’t be the last time the groundhog strikes. There are plenty of more-open gardens around the ‘hood where the vegetables are easily accessible. The horrible neighbour in me hopes that the groundhog goes for these before it goes to mine. That’s not very nice of me, is it? But fresh, organic tomatoes are serious business. Sure, you can buy them at the farmer’s market but it’s never the same as going outside, picking a ripe tomato off the vine and eating it there.

If that ground hog dares touch my tomatoes, I won’t be a Happy Camper either.
I’ll keep you posted. At least I didn’t grow sweet pertaters. It seems to like those best.

Happy Wednesday!

Life is Short But I Don't Always Want to Eat Dessert First

This year is going by so quickly. I simply cannot believe that we’re already into August. It seems like the older you get, the faster time flies. I know that’s not exactly an original observation but it’s a true one.

I don’t think I’m ready for it to be August. I feel like I’m just now getting a grip on my summer. It’s been so hot that I haven’t had chance to work outside as much as I’d have liked. Yet, my tomatoes are starting to ripen and my herbs are doing well. I even have a few ears of corn coming in although I suspect the squirrels might be as excited as I am by the fact that some of the husks had been pulled back on my largest piece today.

I do miss the lazy days of summer. That’s the thing with being an adult. Not only does time fly but there seems to be less and less time to just lie down and be lazy outside on the summer grass. I got one of those inspiration emails today that was intended to remind us how to simplify our lives. It started out by saying how things are much simpler when you’re a kid and it’s only as you get older that things get more complicated and most of this is our own fault.

For example, one of the main points was that as a child, if you’re thirsty, you have a drink. As an adult, it’s never that simple. I have to sheepishly say I can attest to that. For me, it becomes an issue of “What am I thirsty for? Hot or cold. If I go for hot, that means coffee since I forgot my tea bags at home. If I drink coffee do I want the strongest kind? Or I could have a Diet Coke although I know that’s not good for me. Tom Colicchio endorses Diet Coke but he gets criticized for it because it’s made of chemicals. Well, maybe I’ll just have some water but then I’ll probably end up drinking half a bottle and leaving the rest to sit there for ages because I never really want water. I just am supposed to drink it….”

You get the idea. It’s true. We do complicate things as we get older but I think that’s just the nature of being older. I like the idea of being a wide-eyed child who just takes things as they come but, truth be told, it’s never that easy. Sure, I could take the fact that I had to fire a perfectly nice man on Friday and just do my job and move on. Yet, how as a human can I do that when the whole time, I’m thinking of how he took out a loan to move for the job and how unfair it is that he’s being fired without being given a chance to try to fix his errors….

My point is that while I do enjoy a certain childish joy in life for the small things, the reality of being an adult is that nothing is every simple…black and white. It’s like that saying: Life is short, eat dessert first.

I get that. I get the philosophy behind that statement: Most people enjoy dessert most so why not just do what you want in life without dealing with formality and structure. Just jump straight to the good stuff.

Yet, in truth, if we could jump straight to dessert, would it be as rewarding? I say no. Then again, I’m not the hugest fan of desserts so my opinion probably doesn’t count for as much as that of someone with a major sweet tooth.

It might be fairer to change the phrase to something that does appeal to me such as “Life is short, just eat the damn cheese.” Which is probably the name of a book that’s actually out there…I mean there’s books about moving cheese and such…why not eating the damn cheese?

I digress. What I mean is that I like cheese almost more than any other food. However, because I try hard to watch what I eat and balance my meals, there’s not always room for cheese. Sometimes, I want nothing better than a salty bite of pecorino romano or the tang of a strong blue cheese but if I’ve already eaten rather badly that day, I usually don’t give in to the craving even if I want to give in to it.

Which leads us back to the “Life is short, just eat the damn cheese.” If I’m going to die anyway, why not enjoy the cheese when I want it?

I do. Sometimes. If I really, really, really want the cheese, I’ll eat it. However, most of the time, I’ll only want it because it’s there and I can have it. If I could eat nothing but cheese all the time, chances are my desire to eat the damn cheese would diminish.

Which is how I feel about the “Life is short, eat dessert first” saying. If you got to eat dessert first and ended with the soup, doesn’t that take away the slightly forbidden pleasure in eating dessert in the first place? For me, part of the delight of dessert is that it’s just a little decadent and it adds a realistic level of ‘naughtiness’ to a meal. I think to some degree, many of us feel a little guilt when we get to the dessert course and already quite full but something sweet might be rather nice. So, we either let ourselves get talked into it or we talk ourselves into it. If you really want dessert, it doesn’t take long.

So, in actuality, while it’s nice to want to eat dessert first or be as wide eyed as a child, life sometimes gets in the way. Things are more complicated as an adult. It would be nice to stay up all night if I wanted to because that’s what I felt like doing but the reality is that I have to work and that would simply be a bad idea. It’s the same as if all I wanted to eat all day was hot dogs. Sure, it might seem like a good idea to just go with the flow but is it, really? I think maybe sometimes knowledge gets in the way but mostly, it’s what complicates things. If we don’t know that eating hot dogs all day leads to high cholesterol, digestive issues and weight gain, does that make it ok to do it? I didn’t know that if I only ate fishfingers and chips as a child, it would be an unhealthy diet. Same with chocolate milkshakes.

No, I think that while it would be nice to keep the innocence of youth, that old wisdom thing kicks in. We are more aware of who we are and what we want. It makes it hard to just keep things simple when you know that while some things are black and white, most of the time there’s a lot of grey between the two opposites.

Still, there are some things that continue to remain simple: Mondays are not my favourite days. That doesn’t seem to change much no matter how quickly time flies. Today was no exception. Tomorrow will be better. That’s another simple-ism that I think remains true.

Sometimes, simple is good…

Happy Tuesday!

Rocky Starts and Better Finishes...

I've had better weekends.

While I managed to relax a little, this was not the best weekend I ever had. It started with my having to fire someone...that's never good.

I've done it before...fired someone, I mean. Sometimes, it's easy because it makes sense. Then there are the times, like this one, where it makes no sense at all and it simply feels wrong.

In this case, it was my candidate who I'd got to know so well, I knew the contents of his freezer. He's a very nice man. His references were stellar. I was excited that he was going to be working for us. He started work on this past Monday. He reported back to me that he loved his job. We tried to reach out to his boss to find out if they loved him as much as he loved them and...nothing. Repeatedly, my account manager reached out to her to see how things were going and...nothing....

Well, nothing until Friday at 3 p.m. at least. At this time, his boss called us to tell us that we needed to inform him that he no longer had a job and that it was effective immediately.

I was, naturally, devastated. It's one thing when you get a warning that the consultant isn't performing well. Normally, we get a warning and we get chance to reach out to our employee, give them the feedback and give them time to fix their errors.

Not this time. They were done with our guy. Never mind that he'd had five days to get up to speed. Never mind that he'd moved his whole life to take the job. Never mind that he'd taken out a huge loan to cover the expenses of moving his life...he was done.

Without trying to sound dramatic, it was one of the worst calls I've ever had to make. It's a different thing when you know it's deserved. In this case, it was only five days worth of work. He never had any warnings. Neither did we, no matter how much we dried to reach out and find out how things were going. They wanted him gone. I pleaded with my account manager to try to work something out so we offered our client a week's worth of 'free' services. This means we would simply pay our consultant his wages and our client would not have to pay a pennny.

This offer was refused. Sadly, this was the point at which I realized that no matter how good my candidate was, they had an agenda and he didn't fit. Otherwise, why on earth would you refuse a week's worth of free labour with the addendum that if the employee didn't improve, that was it?

My guess is that they either found someone cheaper to fill the position or, more likely, someone who'd left wanted to return.

Either way, it left my candidate stranded and jobless, 2000 miles from home and left me feeling like the worst human in the world.

Telling someone they're now unemployed is NOT the best way to start the weekend. This is a new fact I've learned. I don't recommend it so don't try it if you don't have to do so.

No matter what I did for the rest of the weekend, I couldn't quite shake the dark cloud that had fallen over me on Friday night after I'd fired our candidate. It's a human thing, I think. I am human...thus I felt horrible for treating another human the way that I did. Sure, it was my job. Certainly, it was better coming from me than someone he didn't know but...well, either way...it was not fun.

I did manage to get some fun in...I went back to Farmer's Market. I really need to stop that. My desire for farm-fresh, organic vegetables is far outweighing the actuality in which I can use said vegetables. Yet still I buy them anyway.

I managed to see "Harry Potter and the Deadly Hallows Part 2" again. It was just as good the second time because it wasn't so 'momentous' this was NOT the last time I'd see the last move for the first time. This was the last time I'd see it for the second time...not such a big deal. I enjoyed it.

I also got to have dinner with a friend which is always a good tonic for a sad soul. When I returned home on Saturday, I felt infinitely better than I had a mere 24 hours prior.

My Sunday has been great. I worked outside, cleaned inside and managed to conceptualize almost my entire next novel. I'd had an inkling of the plot for a while but only after letting "Emmy" go to fly free into the world of the e-book was I really ready to move on. I'm ready now and I think my new characters are ready for me too. Only time will tell.

In short, it's been an odd weekend that began worse than it ended. I suppose it's better than it ending worse than it began because it means that the week ahead is hopeful. I'm trying to be hopeful too...I just hope that I don't have to fire anyone else. As much as I love my job...it's not always easy.

Then again, I suppose that's true of life in general.

Happy Monday!

Showing Appreciation for the Good Things in Life

Today has been an interesting day even though it’s been rather quiet at work.

For one thing, I received my official notification that I had made the ‘elite’ group who will be rewarded for my efforts with a trip to London at work. I knew it was coming but it was still a thrill to get the email that congratulated me and made it ‘official’.

It makes me appreciate my job and my company even more than I do already. While I do think that good workers shouldn’t need incentives dangled in front of their faces like a greyhound at a racetrack, I do think that they make things more fun. I’d like to think that I’d do my job just as well with the incentives but it definitely makes the stakes a little higher.

The interesting thing about incentives is that they play a dual role. Certainly, they give us something to work towards. You dangle a free trip to London in front of me and I’m going to bloody well make sure I get to go. Yet there’s another side to it. It creates a huge sense of loyalty and pride in my company that they actually want to reward us like this and that they actually do. Compared to my last company whose main rewards included awkward bagels and even more awkward organized social events, the differences are glaring. Even on my worst days here, I don’t have to talk myself into getting out of bed and going to work. I don’t have to blast rebellious music as I drive in order to psych myself up to face another day. I don’t have any overwhelming urges to throttle my boss with a yoga strap. Nor do I have to retreat to The Most Optimistic Bathroom in the World in order to make myself giggle at the absurdity of it all.

No, even without the rewards, I like this job because they make me feel appreciated. Even without the trip to London or the occasional cash bonuses we get, the fact that my boss tells me that I’m doing a good job does wonders. Our company CEO makes sure he comes to our branch from the main office in Chicago once in a while just to see us all and make sure he knows that our work is appreciated.

So, even though the rewards and incentives are nice, I find that I want to do a good job because I don’t want to disappoint any one. It’s amazing how much of a difference it makes to like and respect your boss because he actually knows what you do on a daily basis. Yes, there’s a little bitterness still there towards my old boss but it’s slowly dissipating in response to my current boss.

I think appreciation goes a long, long way with most human beings. Because there have been times when I’ve done things without so much of a thank you and been hurt, I do try very hard to make sure I thank people when they’ve done something good or nice for me. I try to be a good tipper in a restaurant. I try to make sure people know when what they’ve done means a lot to me. It’s one of those small things that goes a very long way.

Like most humans, I respond well to appreciation. Granted, when the appreciation comes in the form of being granted a free trip to London, I tend to respond rather more excitedly than, for example, with a free leftover promotional favour from a past conference. My old boss once gave me a coaster he found in his office. Sad to say, I was extremely grateful. Needless to say, I’ve made a step up I think.

Another reason my day was rather interesting was because I received another form of appreciation: Fan mail. Now that I’ve made The Reluctant Demon free for e-book download, I’m finding that my “sales” have literally doubled. I’ve had two rather lovely emails already telling me how much the reader has enjoyed my book and demanding to know when the sequel comes out.

It’s a very humbling feeling, I admit. I may not ever make the bestselling lists but to know that people are out there, reading my book and actually liking it is a pretty amazing thing. It’s exciting. My lovely friend, Ms. P, is a librarian and she’s actually put The Reluctant Demon on their library’s “hot summer reading list”. I’m in the company of George R.R. Martin and Jane Austin. I’m slightly awestruck by this but I think it’s pretty fabulous of her. Thanks, Ms. P!

All in all this email is pretty much my way of saying how nice it is to be appreciated. There are times in life when I feel quite the opposite and I do a lot of venting so I thought it would be nice to write about the flipside. I find that one of my flaws is that I’m quick enough to complain and vent but I don’t always remember to be grateful and happy about the things that are good in life. It’s too easy to see the bad sometimes and not so easy to see the good.

So, today, I’m seeing all of the good and appreciating every moment of it. And, to top it all off, tomorrow is Friday and weekends are something else to be truly appreciated, no matter how much we enjoy our jobs.

Happy Friday and thanks for reading!

The Priorities of Being a Homeowner

The thing with being a homeowner is that it changes your priorities in life.

Just over two years ago, I moved into my house. I’d lived in apartments before and was ready to have something that was actually mine. It has been a joy having the freedom to do what I want whether it be painting, ripping up a floor and replacing it as well as having a garden fit for dogs and for growing vegetables.

It’s just that this has now become my life. I’m not complaining, trust me. I rather love my life. When I lived in an apartment, it was much easier to find time to go to my parents’ for the weekend or take off and fly to L.A. to visit. Nowadays, it’s not that easy because there’s always something to do at home.

I don’t mind. I’ve actually got to the point where I like mowing. If you read back over the blogs I wrote when I first moved into the house and had to start mowing, you’ll see this is quite a departure. I find it slightly peculiar that I now take a weird sort of pride in making sure my lawn looks tidy and looked after. I like to drive home and see my tidy lawn and how it contrasts with Mr. Enormous Trouser’s unkempt one. I find it therapeutic to pull out the mower and cut the lawn.

I especially like the feeling I have after the grass is cut and I can sit on my patio, drinking a beer and admiring how nice it looks while the pups roll in the clippings. Why the like to roll in the clippings, I do not know. When the grass is dry, it’s not so bad. When it’s wet, it makes a mess. It’s most annoying when I give the girls a bath and they immediately run outside and roll in the grass clippings.

If it’s not mowing, it’s laundry. I have to admit, after years of having to pump quarters into machines, including the college years, I’m still thankful that I have my own washer and dryer and that if I forget my clothes in the washer, there’s no one to dump them out on the floor. Since the pups are afraid of the laundry area due to the fact that I accidentally knocked a laundry basket on the floor, narrowly missing them, I highly doubt they’re likely to dump my clothes out. Also, they have no thumbs. This would make it difficult.

There’s also the small things such as remembering on Wednesdays that Rumpke come the next day so I should have my rubbish out by the curb. This is actually pretty easy to remember because my neighbours remind me by putting out their own rubbish. Also, confession time, the pups and I enjoy our Wednesday evening walks because we’re nosy and it’s quite fun to see the boxes and things by the curb and know who bought a new TV, who has a new baby and who got a new puppy. Yes, we’re nosy. I prefer to think of it as “studying humans” in order to be a more effective writer. Ok, fine…it is nosy and probably a little weird but I think I get it from my grandmother.

It’s nice to have the freedom to decide that I want to have DirecTV without having to find out from a landlord whether I’m allowed a dish or not. It’s nice to have dogs without having to pay a deposit for them. It’s nice to decide that I’m fed up with the window coverings and I can change them without having to worry about storing the old ones to put back up when I move out.

Of course, the flip side to having all this freedom is when you have a period of time where you have termites, your dryer dies and your fridge dies in the same week, it’s expensive. When the air conditioning goes out, it’s my responsibility to get it fixed. I have to be the one who’s there to let repairmen into my house because it’s my responsibility.

It’s an up and down journey that has become my life. I’ve somehow transitioned from someone who will splurge on a pair of Vans shoes to someone who’d rather buy a new side table for my Tuscan room. I price the cost of a new bathroom when I go in Home Depot. I get excited by the Lowes advertisement to see what’s on special.

You get it. I just did. It wasn’t until I was sitting at work thinking of all the things I had to do this evening when I realized that they’re things I have to do because I own my house. I don’t mind one little bit but it occurred to me that my life has become rather quiet and peaceful throughout the years. I don’t go out as much after work because I’d rather come home to the dogs, kick of my shoes and curl up with a good book in the sanctity of my Tuscan room.

I don’t know if this makes me boring or not. It probably does. Yet there’s a strange peace in finding a life where being able to own my own grill and use it is a little bit of a delight and where I can sit out on my patio, surrounded by sunflowers and herbs that I planted and know that this little corner of the world is all mine.

Whether it’s exciting or not is irrelevant. It is exciting to me, even in the quietness of the life I have. I think that’s what really matters. And I think the dogs would agree.

Happy Thursday!

Mourning Mail

The problem with living in a heavily electronic age is that many things are now virtual, rather than actual.

This thought occurred to me today as I checked my mail and all I had was a circular ad for Lowes, a Steak and Shake page of coupons and a leaflet for DirecTV. Yesterday, I had a coupon from Bed, Bath and Beyond. The day before that…I got no mail.

Even a few years ago, I used to get more mail. Even though it was mostly bills, there was something satisfying in opening up the mailbox and seeing a wad of envelopes in there. You never quite knew what you were going to get. Those were the days where I had files folders for my bills, each labeled with the name of the company who was sending the bill. Then, on payday, I’d get my newest bills, my checkbook and my stamps and I’d make an evening of paying bills. Yes, this sounds rather dull but, oddly, I quite liked it. I never liked the spending of the money part of it but there was something satisfying about sitting down, immersed in paperwork, half-watching something on TV and then maybe having a glass of wine as a reward. Then again, I am someone who quite likes to do my taxes too. Yes, I’m weird. However, I liked homework too when I was in school. We could discuss my giant case of pre-college nerdiness but I’ve made no secret of the fact that I was a nerd.

Nowadays, most of my bills are delivered electronically to me. Not only is this easier but it does save trees. I’m not exactly Captain Greenpeace-let’s-live-in-a-tree-to-protest-them-chopping-them-down. I’m not even someone who necessarily buys the green version of cleaning products. Frankly, while I salute the attempt, vinegar and lemon do NOT clean my toilet as well as Lysol Bathroom Cleaner and I’m not going to mess with bathroom germs. However, I do try to be green when I can and if I can save a tree by having my mortgage statements sent to me electronically, I will.

On a side note, I do wish that the credit card companies who are trying to solicit my business were more green. Chase Manhattan, I am TALKING TO YOU. I do NOT need at least three pieces of junk mail in my mailbox per week asking me to become a) a member of your bank, b) a holder of your credit card or c) a low balance transfer. By all means, if you HAVE to, send me one piece of mail sporadically to remind me that you’re out there but your bulk mailing campaigns are ridiculous. Discover card? You’re not far behind. And Citibank? I already have one of your damn credit cards, I don’t want another. I don’t want to swap my reward card for a Disney reward card or a Barnes and Noble reward card. Here’s the thing: By having a general rewards card that gives me cash back, I can spend it anywhere! A novel concept, I know but this means I can use it for Disneyland or Barnes and Noble if I want! I don’t need a specific card!

(please note, I’m making up the Disney/Barnes and Noble thing. I do get these type of offers from Citibank but it may not be those specific companies. Those may come from Chase Manhattan. CHASE? STOP KILLING TREES!).

Back to my original point and, yes, again- I do have one. The actual real mail that’s directed to me personally rather than “Captain Monkeypants or current resident” has declined dramatically in recent years because of technology, particularly the rapid growth of the internet and the ease of paying bills online.

(That last sentence, right there- THESIS STATEMENT! Yup, I learned something in high school English and it still applies. Yes, I am proud. As should Mrs. Studebaker and the other teachers who taught me the value of writing a paper correctly. I can still do the outline, thank you very much. Now, diagramming sentences…that was always a little daft to me and even though I probably still could try, my total lack of desire to ever diagram a sentence again gets in the way.)

I like doing things online. It’s convenient and simple. I have it set up so that I just login to my banking site and I’ve already got all my payees and bill notifications set up. I can just look at what’s due and boom! Payment is delivered within two days. While this is simple, it’s not foolproof. For example, say your direct deposit is delivered at 12:00 a.m. on a Saturday and you don’t think about paying bills until you’re in your office on a Monday. Then you realize that it’s actually the 3rd of the month and your Verizon bill is due today. If you go through the bank, it’ll get paid by the 5th. However, the beauty of a virtual world is that in this case, I can just go directly to my Verizon account, login and then click on “Pay my Bill”. Boom. Instant gratification.

Life is more convenient now. Before the internet, doing that would have involved a series of phone calls and possibly an emergency trip to the post-office. Now, it just requires going to a website, logging in and taking care of business.

Granted, it’s a little more dangerous but if you’re smart about it and you don’t put in “Password” as your password or something equally easy-to-guess, it’s pretty secure.

All in all, it is easier now. It makes it harder to be late with payments. It makes it harder to forget a payment because my bank reminds me when to pay. I also get reminders from the companies in my inbox.

The inbox has replaced the physical mailbox. It’s a little sad.

While it is nice to see fun, personal emails from friends and family and those nifty “Hey it’s your birthday, have a coupon for a free ice-cream” type of things on your birthday, I find that there’s something not quite as gratifying about email as there is with physical mail. Maybe it’s because email is delivered 24 hours a day, seven days a week whereas with physical mail, you have to wait for the mailperson to put it in your box. It is more convenient to have email constantly being delivered but it’s not as fun as real mail.

No matter how many emails I get, it never quite feels the same opening one as it does having a physical envelope in my hand, and trying to open the seal only to tear the paper. When the email opens, it’s so quick, there’s little time to pause in the anticipation of the letter. You can’t lay it aside and pick it up again to reread without having to log back into your email and reopen it.

And the smell of paper and the occasional accidental papercut is missing. I get it. We need to be green. I get as much email as I ever did physical mail, probably a lot more.

Yet, every time I open my mailbox to find it empty, it’s a little sad. I miss real mail.

And Chase Manhattan? You don’t count. Sorry.

Happy Wednesday